The Curses We Utter-(DeanReader)
by Supernatural-idjit-95
Summary: Reader-POV! Dean x Reader. The reader is a special sort of 'hybrid'-and hunter. Hunted by Heaven & Hell, captured by demons then rescued by the Winchesters. Some smutty goodness further in, and lots of twists! I'm not great at summaries, but I PROMISE this has a good plot :) REVIEWS ARE LOVE, PEOPLE! GO TFW
1. Litost

_**Breathe. Keep breathing.**_

That was all the encouragement you could utter to yourself, as you were suspended by the shackles and chains that were the only force keeping you upright.

You were freezing, due to being locked away in a cell far below the ground, left only in your shorts and bra.

 _God damned demons…_

You knew why they wanted you. Exactly 3 weeks, 2 days and 18 hours earlier you knew you'd been bested the moment you'd stepped foot into your shabby motel room. You'd been driving for days, and needed just a couple of hours of sleep. You peeled off the interstate and into some dead-end town. You had a bad feeling about it to begin with, but pegged that to your paranoia and anxiety that followed you your entire life-and for good reason, at that.

Not only are you a hunter (a damned good one), you are a hybrid- and a special one at that. As you'd been told by both demons and angels, you are a walking abomination. Your mother had been a soft-hearted, kind and loving soul, and quite literally an Angel. On a daily basis, you cling to fond memories of her from your childhood. You never knew what happened to her, if she was alive or dead…all you know is that one day, she didn't come home.  
Your father you'd never met, but you had heard from spiteful demons alike that he was powerful, brutal, but fell for the wrong "kind"; your mother, the Angel. You hoped to meet him all your life. It didn't matter to you what he was, after all, you were half demon-but even now hanging there, bloody and in pain, you were sure he was dead too.

But that didn't matter right now. You had to get out of this, or you'd be dead in no time. You could hear your blood making the agonizing " **drip-drop** " sounds into the crimson puddles beneath you. Cuts littered your near-broken body, covered in bruises that you'll never remember how you got, and two minor stab wounds to your legs. This confirmed your suspicion that the demons in this hoard needed you alive; they were furious that you even existed at all, but no doubt they weren't being allowed to kill you-not yet, anyways.

You groaned out into the dark cellar, rotating your head from left to right to keep yourself awake and aware. Your (y/h/c) hair was matted with blood, your feet filthy and stained from the dirt floor below them.

Just as your eyes began to shut in exhaustion, you heard the door at the top of the stairs creak slowly open. It caught your attention, as you were used to your captors barging in ambiguously with the steel tray of torturous devices clanging together.

" _Jesus_ …I missed you guys…I'm guessing you missed me too?" You grunted out, unable to see your captors just yet, you struggled against the restraints holding your arms over your head.

Heavy boots sounded descending the stairs, kicking up dust above your head making you cough.

A tear rolled down your cheek, knowing what was coming next-but not knowing how much more of it you could take.

' _Fuck, fuck, fuck…! Hold it together. Hold it together'._

The heavy boots hit the landing behind you, and you struggled to maintain your composure, trying hard to stand on your own and not rely on the shackles on your wrists to hold you up. The stronger you appeared, the longer they'd keep you alive. At least you hoped so.

"Jesus Christ! _Sam_! " You heard a gruff male voice exclaim, the wearer of the heavy boots.

A lump caught in your throat. Was this a joke?

You heard the pace of the boots quicken their pace, and finally the man ran into your view, his features blanketed by shadows. Breaking your concentration on standing, your legs give out beneath you. Grimacing in pain, you keep your focus on the stranger.

"Hey, I'm not here to hurt you…My name's Dean, my brother Sam is here, too. We're here to get you out." The man said, warily but quickly closing the distance between the two of you.

"Is this some cruel fucking joke?!" You choked out, losing your composure as you start to sob. You've been here so long…it had to be a joke-no way in hell you were being rescued.

The man-Dean, finally closed the gap between you, eyeing you up and down as pity filled his eyes at the mere sight of you. "It's not a joke. I swear, it's gonna be okay." He reached for something in his jacket pocket, making you flinch, and he slowly pulled out a lock pick, presenting it to show you he meant you no harm. All you could do was nod and hang your head.

Dean began working on the cuffs and shackles holding you, releasing one limp arm at a time around his broad shoulders. Had you not been in a daze from the pain, you'd have been breath taken at this man's beauty. He was a walking fucking heart attack. He took your form into his arms, lowering you to the ground with him.

"Damnit, you're freezing." He said, shaking off his flannel. He helped you pull your arms through one at a time, and worked quickly on the buttons. You remember thinking how chivalrous it was of him, covering your nearly-naked form immediately.

You heard another set of heavy boots plodding down the stairs, causing you to snap your head up in attention. _Demons. They're back._

Dean saw the fear in your eyes, and that 'I-feel-so-fucking-bad-for-you' expression was all over his face again. "Hey, hey hey…it's okay, it's just my brother Sam. He's gonna help you, too." Dean said, rubbing your upper arm urgently to comfort and warm you.

"I-It's note safe here. Demons. You have t-to go!" You pushed on Dean's chest hard, surprising yourself at your strength. This wasn't their fight. You weren't sure how these strange men knew you were here, but you hated to think you'd see them gutted for trying to help you.

"They're all dead, you don't have to worry." The new and present voice belonging to Sam made you jump and turn to face him. _Wow. Damn good gene pool they've got._ If it weren't enough that you were being rescued out of nowhere, lo and behold, your saviors were smoking hot.

But that damn look again. ' _Jesus, do I really look that bad? Am I missing an ear or something?'_ You thought to yourself. Sam's pained expression faded as he looked around.

"Is there anyone else down here with you?" He asked. You shook your head, then stopped short. "There were three others. But…I-I couldn't help them…I tried." Your emotions were stone as you spoke. You weren't sure how else to say it.

Sam sighed but didn't reply, he only nodded to Dean.

"Alright, let's get you outta here and get ya patched up." He said, slipping one strong arm behind your shoulder blades, and snaking the other behind your knees and he stood with you slowly, carrying you up the stairs.

You rested your head on his shoulder, clinging to his flannel you wore for dear life. Another tear broke free from your eyes.

 _"Some all-powerful creature I turned out to be…I'm a fucking mess."_ You thought.  
And, the next thing you know, you're being placed in a warm car, and hearing the beautiful sound of an engine roaring to life.


	2. Into The Frying Pan

You were awaken by the low voices of the two men who had just saved your life, Sam & Dean, in the front seat. You'd been laid down in the backseat of a gorgeous, classic car. You weren't sure how long you'd been out, but you knew you had to stay alert now, more than ever. Not wanting them to know you were awake, you squeezed your eyes shut, pulled your legs close to your chest and tried to listen in on what they were saying.

"Dude, she's in bad shape Dean. Shouldn't we drop her off at a hospital?" Sam started. You heard Dean huff in disbelief. "Okay, first off we don't say 'dude'. Second, we're not leaving her at a hospital-do you realize all the questions they're gonna throw at her?"

Silence.

"We'll take her back home with us, just for a few days. I called Cas, he thinks he can help fix her up." Dean said.

Who is Cas? No more strangers. That's the last thing I need…

"Okay, but I'm just warning you, I don't think going from being chained up in an underground cellar to a underground bunker-" Sam said, and was cut off by something Dean had done, probably rolling his eyes. "-with two strange men she's never met is gonna be the best thing for her right now!" He finished.

"Sam, neither of us knows what's freakin' best for her! Just drop it okay?!" Dean said with a frustrated sigh, as Sam mumbled something under his breath that you couldn't make out. Dean must have caught that too.  
"What was that you said?" You could feel Deans glare cutting into Sam from the backseat.  
"Nothing. Nothing at all." Sam replied.

You smiled to yourself at their bickering. Oh yeah, they are definitely siblings.

Sam kept the conversation up front going. "So...why do you think they wanted her? I mean, not to sound rude but she's just a normal girl-and by the looks of the news so far, no one had even reported her missing." He said.

Dean shook his head. "No clue man. Demons are tricky, but I do know that they have reasons for everything they do. So big or small, they wanted her for something." He replied.  
"Well...maybe...we should call Crowley, see if he knows-" Sam started to suggest, cut off by Dean angrily waving his hand at the notion. "NO. We are not dragging the god damn King of Hell into this! That's the LAST thing this chick needs." He gestured to you in the back seat. Sam nodded. "Yeah, you're right. One day at a time then, I guess. I just hope we don't freak her out…"

'Too late for that, young padawan…' You thought. '…and the King of Hell?! FUCK. THAT. NOPE CITY. Guess I'm outta the fire, and into the freakin' frying pan…'

Your thoughts were interrupted by Sam. "You think Cas has enough angel mojo to heal her up?" He asked as Dean turned the radio up a little.

"No idea, but he said he could help." Dean said.

 **No, no, no, no no!**

This is your death sentence. They've got a freaking ANGEL waiting for you wherever they're taking you to, and he's going to know who-and **what** you are in a moment flat, no doubt about that.

 **You need to run.**

You knew the next stop meant death. You had to figure out a way to get away from these two before then. They're obviously hunters, and they'd kill you for sure if the Angel 'Cas' didn't smite you himself.

You knew of only one angel you could trust, and her name was Hannah. She had practically raised you, and around the time you were fifteen she had to limit her time with you, for your safety. Apparently, the other angels had grown suspicious of her absence upstairs. She had kept popping in on you from time to time, and then you started hunting. You felt awful, knowing your constant traveling was hindering her attempts to keep tabs on you-but you knew that that would keep HER safe, too.

You drew in a deep, but shallow breath as not to alert them that you were awake. You had figure out who these guys are. Think! 'They're hunters, they're hot…! I mean Jesus Christ…okay, don't think about that-they're hunters, they have an Angel on their shoulder…oh yeah, and they've got the King of Hell on speed-dial. Probably with his own ringtone. Let's not forget about that…'

Once again, your train of thought was abruptly ended by the feeling of the car coming to a slow. You peeked one eye open, and saw you were leaving the highway.

"Mornin', princess!" Dean's voice boomed out, startling you into an upright position. How the hell did he know you were awake? You obviously weren't very good at faking it.

"I…hi." That was all you could think to say. 'I'm an idiot.'

Sam tossed you his solid, wide-mouthed grin with those adorable puppy eyes. "How ya feeling?" He asked you.

You shrugged. "Good, I mean…I hurt like, EVERYWHERE. But other than that I'm fine." You replied, and tried to force a smile on your lips.

He nodded and eyed you curiously. He knew something was up.

Dean gazed at you in the rear view mirror. "Hey sweet cheeks, you hungry? I can stop somewhere if you want." He asked. You ran the thought through your mind, and you were STARVING. And maybe if you were lucky, this would give you the chance you needed to slip away from the two brothers. Then your appearance dawned on you like a ton of bricks.  
You had no shoes, you were covered in blood, cuts, gashes and flesh wounds, and all you wore was an oversized flannel shirt.

Dean must have seen the expression on your face as he answered for you. "Look, I know you're probably starving. Let's get you to the bunker first, and Sam can run back to town and pick up some supplies for you-food, clothes, whatever else you need…just name it." He gave a wave of his hand, as if he were offering you the world. And he was at that point, you'd been almost a month without ANYTHING. You wanted to accept so badly, but you knew you couldn't stay with them.

"Um, thank you…y-you're really kind to offer that." You replied to Dean. He only grinned and nodded at you in the rear view mirror. "I think I need to go home though." You continued. 'I wish I really had a home to go back to…' You thought.

Sam's head swiveled around to look at you. "Hey I know you're anxious, but trust us. Those demons back there know where you live, and even hospitals aren't safe for you right now." He sighed and smiled at you reassuringly. "We promise, as soon as you're able to, you can leave. Deal?"

You nodded. "Deal."

'I'm going to freaking die today.'


	3. Lying Gets You Nowhere

About thirty minutes of sheer panic later, Dean pointed ahead through "Baby's" windshield (they'd told you that's what the car's name is). You'd also learned their last name was Winchester, which struck a cord in your memory somewhere, but couldn't quite place it. 

"There's the bunker, home sweet home!" He exclaimed excitedly.

Sam turned to give you another one of his 'please don't freak out' smiles. You attempted to smile back.

' _Maybe the Angel won't kill you-maybe he won't know what you are.'_ You hoped.

The car came to a halt, and you stay put until Sam opened the back door for you.

Placing one foot in the grass, you suddenly wondered if you were going to be able to walk by yourself. Sensing your discomfort, Sam offered you a hand out.

You were standing on your own, and you couldn't help but smile. Sam patted your shoulder as Dean came around the other side of Baby making sure you were alright. You took a step forward, and then another, and then **SPLAT **.****

 _'Damnit, I'm down. Send in air support.'_

"Whoa, easy there tiger…I gotcha." Dean said, quickly scooping your battered form off the ground where your legs betrayed your trust.

"You don't have to-" You started, as he was all of a sudden carrying you-again. Not that you really minded.

Dean interrupted you, "Nonsense princess…all in good time. You'll get your sea legs back!"  
For a moment, his eyes locked with yours as he gazed down at you. His eyes were green, and gorgeous… _Jesus, take the wheel._

Normally, you'd be pissed at a man for calling you "princess", but this was different.

All you could do was smile back at him, as he carried you bridal-style through the large intimidating bunker door.

The three of you descended the stairs, and Dean set you in a chair at a seriously bad-ass looking table. You were definitely gawking at the means of this bunker.

"This is…incredible. What is all of this?" You ran your fingertips lightly over the map on the table, overwhelmed with wonder.

Dean and Sam smiled, and Sam replied, "All in good time. It would take us hours to explain right now…and we need to take a look at you, and get you cleaned up."

Sam's words brought Dean out of his starry-eyed gaze toward you, and he snapped to attention, suddenly remembering that you're hurt, and in pain.

"Cas?!" He called out. "You here, buddy?" No reply.

Sam sighed, and Dean gave him a shrug in annoyance at Cas's absence.

"Okay, looks like we're gonna do this the hard way, sorry sweetheart." Dean said, as he reached down and patted you on the leg, earning a flinch of apprehension from you. He held his hands up palms out to calm you. 

"I-I'm sorry, I wasn't thinkin'…" He trailed off. You shook your head. "No, it's okay, really-that's probably going to happen for awhile." You responded. The two of you shared another smile, then Sam spoke. 

"Okay, we need to get you to the medical bay. We've got some work to do." He said, eyeing your injuries with pity on his face. 

"Sure…lead the way?" You said, bracing your arm on the table trying to stand. Dean held up his hand immediately to stop you from standing. 

"Nope, no more wipeouts sweetheart." And just like that, you were once again being carried carried by the smoldering Dean Winchester. 

Your stomach did back flips when you saw the shiny tools that littered the tray in front of you.

 _'Don't freak out. Keep your cool-they're fixing you.'_

You swallowed hard, as you sat on the cold hard steel table Dean had set you down on.

"Hey Dean…you got this?" Sam asked out of nowhere. Dean gave him a wondering look.

"Yeah, why?" He questioned.

"I'm gonna run to town, grab some supplies. And she needs clothes…I'm sure she doesn't wanna wear our smelly ass shirts all day." Sam said with a smirk. 

Dean nodded knowingly, throwing you a look as if he were asking your permission to be alone with you.  
He chuckled to ease the tension in the room. "Ya know, as much I like seeing you in my shirt, Sammy's right. We got this, Sam. See ya in a bit." As he turned away to begin cleaning your wounds, he realized what he'd said.

He cursed under his breath, and first glanced at his brother who was giving him his ultimate bitch face, then at you.  
"I uh-sorry. I keep sayin' stupid crap." He laughed out nervously.

You smiled at him to assure him that all was well between the two of you. But your mind lingered on his statement, and a blush flooded your cheeks…' _he likes seeing me in his shirt'._

You realized the loss of blood didn't stop your face from turning red. Dean gave you a Clooney-style grin, wetting his perfect lips with his tongue as he turned his gaze to the rubbing alcohol and gauze in his hands. 

You shook the feeling away and looked at Sam. "Yeah, I'd appreciate some clothes Sam, thank you." He smiled and turned on his heels, not saying another word to Dean for fear he'd say something inappropriate again.

Now alone in the room with Dean, you decided to stare at the floor patiently while he readied everything he needed to 'patch you up' as he kept saying. 

The two of you remained silent, the tension in the room almost unbearable until Dean finally cleared his throat. Turning to look at you, your bent knees nearly grazed his hips as he stood close to you.

"So look, I dunno what all you went through down there. But I want you to know that you can talk to us." He paused. "And also, this isn't gonna feel good. These wounds…" His fingertips lightly brushed over the shallow stab wound in your left leg. "…they need to be cleaned, and some need stitches. I've got a few pain pills, or some whiskey so pick your poison when you're ready." He stopped fidgeting with the gauze for one moment, and made eye contact with you.

' _Oh my God. This is going to fucking suck.'_ You grimaced. You eyed the bottle of whiskey on the table beside you. 

"Whiskey, neat, no glass good sir." You half-joked, smiling. You had to try to make light of the situation. 

Dean gave you a give 'em hell smile, and passed you the bottle. Suddenly, he cursed out loud. 

"Son of a bitch-we are jackasses. I'm sorry. We didn't ask you your name!" He ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated at he and Sam's passiveness.

You laughed, unscrewing the lid to the whiskey bottle. "Wow! You're right," You laughed. "It's (y/n)." Dean grinned at you. "Well, nice to formally meet you then, (y/n). Got a last name?" He asked you.

 _ **SHIT**._

"I in fact do. Daniels. (y/n) Daniels." You replied, taking his extended hand and shaking it. Of course, 'Daniels' wasn't really your last name. You just so happened to think quickly on your feet, and the whiskey you held was Jack Daniel's…and so brought your new last name to life. You really hoped he didn't catch on to the fact that you literally just stole it off the whiskey bottle. 

"Okay then. Let's get to work." 

You took a long, hard swig of the whiskey. The warmth of it spread through your belly, and it stung the open cuts on your lips, but you couldn't care less. It was a good kind of a pain this time.

Dean made quick work of the less-severe cuts on your legs first, the alcohol burning them making you wince. You were becoming best friends with that bottle in your hand. Dean started to make conversation as he began cleaning a few cuts on your arm.

"So. Tell me what landed you in the lion's den." He glanced away from your injuries momentarily to meet your eyes.

 __

 _'What do I say?! These guys ask too many questions.'_

You cleared your throat nervously, your head was swimming from the whiskey. "Honestly, I really don't remember much. I think I was there for a few weeks…or months…I'm not sure."

 __

 _'Good. Be as vague as possible.'_

"I'm sorry to ask more questions, if you want me stop I will-" Dean said. "-but did they say why they took you?"

"No, they didn't. They didn't even know my name. Maybe I was just some random chick to them." You replied. ' _More lies._ '

Dean shook his head with worry on his face. "No. See, demons are very particular…" He stopped himself, realizing he hadn't really had "the talk" with you about the things that bump in the night. You picked it up from there for him.

"Yeah, they told me they were demons. And I believe them. Their eyes were awful. They were black…" You said. You were trying to sound as oblivious as you could. They couldn't know you were a hunter, especially an angel/demon HYBRID. You needed to pass as America's Sweetheart-someone who had no idea what kind of monsters lurked out there. 

"What else did they tell you? I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head around why they kept you alive-no offense." Dean said. 

He moved on to your other arm, rolling up the flannel sleeve and turning your arm over to inspect the damage.

"Just that they wanted to hurt me. Like I said, I can't remember a lot." You drew a shaky breath and took another gulp of whiskey. 

_'If I act like it's bothering me-which it is-maybe he'll stop asking questions for now…'_

Dean notices your uncomfortable shift. "Hey, we don't have to talk about it anymore. Sorry to pry, we'll figure it out later." You nodded at him thankfully. 

Dean cleaned the last abrasion on your upper arm, and rolled the sleeve back down you arm. His closeness overwhelmed you. He smelled like leather, gun smoke and something else you couldn't peg. You wanted so badly to turn your head, face him and stare into those beautiful green orbs, and you did.

' _Bold move,'_ you thought.

Dean nervously met your eyes, still holding your wrist in his hand. He slowly brought his hand up to your face, reaching towards your forehead. Ever so gently, never breaking eye contact, he moved a strand of your (y/h/c) hair away from your eyes and softly tucked it behind your ear. You tried to look away, but you couldn't. You could tell he was trying to think of something to say, but you were stumped too.

"Um, I-I need to clean this cut on your forehead, (y/n)." Dean said softly, bringing the gauze to your head and holding it in place. You winced, moving away, and he instinctively moved his free hand to the back of your neck to keep you still. It would have felt threatening if he hadn't been so gentle. He held the alcohol soaked gauze in place, his thumb caressing the nape of your neck. 

"Shhh…almost done princess." He looked at you again proudly. And for some reason, you reached and held onto his forearm for dear life.

 _'Why am I being such a wimp?!'_ You wondered. Maybe it was because for the first time in forever, you were being taken care of.

45 minutes of cleaning, stitching and bandaging later, you felt like a mummy. You were absolutely covered in white strips of gauze, bandaids and whatever the hell Dean Winchester wanted to tape on you. You thanked him genuinely for fixing you up as best he could, to which he replied that he'd have had it no other way. 

He had carried you from the steel table into his bedroom and laid you down. Now sitting there you felt like you were going to float away in comfort. You had never been on a bed this comfortable. 

Dean stood beside you. "Comfy, huh?" He said. You grinned at him, "I think I'm in Heaven." You joked.

Laughing right along, Dean said, "Ha! Trust me sweetheart, I've been there. That bed is wayyy better than Heaven." He shook his in amusement, rounding the bed to hand you the remote control to his TV. 

You gulped hard. _'He's been to Heaven? I wonder if my Mom is there…maybe he knows something…"_ You shook the thoughts from your head as you remembered your severe identity crisis at hand-you couldn't tell him who you were. 

Dean explained how to work the TV to you, and he could tell you were excited since you hadn't laid eyes on one in what felt like months.

"So uh, I'm gonna leave ya to it for a bit. You can take a shower and eat as soon as Sammy's back. I need to try and get a hold of Cas again. Just holler if you need me, okay?" He said. 

"Yeah, I will. Thanks again Dean." You smiled weakly, feeling like you were about to fall asleep. Damn whiskey. 

Dean winked at you and started toward the door, only to stop in his tracks, his muscles rigid. He turned to you slowly. The carefree smile in his eyes was gone, and replaced with a threatening gaze. _Oh shit. What now?_

Your body tensed and you pushed yourself off the bed, thankfully able to stand. "E-Everything okay?" You asked slowly. You were scared to fucking death. 

Dean slowly took predatory steps toward you, his head cocked to one side slightly in question. "How come you haven't asked me who Cas is?"

Your heart nearly stopped. Now he's going to know you were eavesdropping in the car. "W-What do you mean?" 

"I called for Cas when we got here, and just now I mentioned I needed to get a hold of him-you didn't ask who he was." 

You blinked back tears. "I…I-I don't know. I guess I just assumed he was one of your friends?" You stumbled on your words, so unsure of yourself. 

He shook his head and pointed an accusing finger at you, still coming closer. "No. No, something isn't right here. You're not asking me a god damn question about who we are, what we do..." His gaze was piercing holes in your very soul. It was going to be impossible to lie to him.

You take a step back, only to realize your back is against the wall.

"...and I'd say you're not too freaked out that you were kidnapped by **DEMONS**." You closed your eyes. Up shit creek without a paddle, and you had no idea what to say.

Your entire body quivered in fear. ' _He's going to kill me if I tell him…'_ Thoughts raced through your head.

You opened your eyes, and Dean's face almost looked sorry for a moment, like he felt bad for scaring you-but it didn't last long. His body was inches from yours, you were trapped by a man looking for answers, and he wasn't asking nicely.

If it hadn't been for the fact that you were in fear of your life and a very angry Dean Winchester was in front of you, you'd have thought the two of you were about to have crazy intense sex. 

You gulped down the lump in your throat, swallowing hard. Dean held your gaze angrily, his jaw clenching, waiting for your response. 

Then you said the only thing you could think of. "I'm sorry." It was a whimper, not an answer.

A tear left your eye, not out of fear but out of exhaustion and disappointment in yourself. You should've known better than to lie to the people trying to help you. Maybe they would've let you live.

"I don't want an apology, I want an **answer**." Dean growled out, his arm lurching forward in a flash, his hand closing around your throat mercilessly.

You latched onto his forearm with both hands trying to push him back, but to no avail-he slammed you into the wall he'd backed you into hard. His hand still squeezing around your throat, you croaked out a response. 

"Don't kill me. I didn't ask for this. **Please…** " You were sobbing like an infant, and you wanted to crawl into hole-but you were scared. Pair fear with physical pain, exhaustion, sleeplessness and hunger, and you get a sobbing pleading mess. 

His grip on your neck was unwavering. In one swift motion with his other hand he reached behind his back and withdrew his pistol, leveling his aim at your face effortlessly. 

"You've got one chance to tell me who you are."


	4. The Truth Shall Set You Free…Hopefully

So here you are; staring down the barrel of Dean Winchester's gun. His large strong hand still wrapped around your neck, keeping you still and just barely making it difficult to breathe. He wanted you like this. On the edge and scared shitless. You're hands were grasping his arm in front of you, holding tight-but you weren't able to escape his grasp.

 _'What the hell have I done?'_

"How much harder do I need to squeeze for an answer?" His voice was too calm for comfort. Your (y/e/c) eyes widened at the statement as he squeezed your throat hard, making you wince.

You were gasping for air, clawing at his arm in a plea to release you.  
After what felt like an eternity (it was probably only about 30 seconds) of his strangulation, he finally let go of you. He took a half step back but kept his gun aimed at your head.

You collapsed down to the floor, holding your neck like that would help you catch your breath.

You faced the floor on your knees, coughing, trying to form words as fast as you could before he could shoot you.  
"Okay! O-Okay-" Your dry bruised throat paid you no heed. More coughing. "I'll tell you everything. I **swear**. Please-d-don't kill me yet…" You started to cry again.

 _'Grow the fuck up!'_ You told yourself. You dared to look at Dean through strands of your (y/h/c) hair that hung in your view.

Dean's face contorted in a way you couldn't read. And just like that he lowered his weapon.

"Get the hell up." He ordered.

You reached for the bed to pull yourself up, your weak legs were unreliable again. Not being able to walk for a few weeks would do that to a person.  
And thankfully you were able to stand.

In that moment, the tension between you and Dean was indescribable. Your eyes pierced one another's.  
You were about to open your mouth and spill the beans-about everything. Who and **what** you were, your real last name even. You'd tell him if it meant you'd get to leave…alive.

But just then, Dean holstered his pistol in the back waist band of his dark blue faded jeans.

"Come on. Let's go." He ordered.

Dean reached for your upper arm, and in fear you tore away from his grasp. That only made it worse for you. Dean found your arm once more, gripping it so tightly you thought he'd rip it off-and he began walking out of his bedroom pulling you forcefully behind him.

"W-Where are you taking me?" You whimpered. Tears stained your face, and you dug your heels into the floor, hoping to slow him down…but to no avail.

And from Dean came no reply. Only silence through his clenched teeth, his jaw bones protruding in and out in anger.

The two of you met the end of one corridor, then turned and started down another one you hadn't been down yet. It was darker, and looked like they didn't come this way very often. His stride was too fast for you to keep up with now, your long tan legs began to quake once more.

"Please Dean! S-Slow down, what are you doing?!" You begged him, trying your best to gain a response-a word, anything would have made you feel better.

In that moment you were so focused at trying to read his face, you broke your concentration on keeping your stride legs give out as he is dragging you behind him mercilessly by your arm, the one he'd just patched up not an hour before.

You hit the floor and caught yourself with your free arm, crying out in pain at a searing pain in your left leg.  
 _'Shit! My stitches…'_

You're stitches burst at the abrupt landed you'd just had, a fresh trickle of crimson blood running down your leg.

Dean hadn't let go of your arm yet, the fall happened so fast. To your disbelief he paid the sight of new blood coming from your leg no attention, and ripped you off the floor by your arm once again.  
He still said nothing. _Ouch._

You made damn sure you stayed on your feet this time. Dean Winchester was in no mood to carry you, that was for damn sure.

Dean drug you up to a door at the end of the second corridor, and stopped in front of it to fish out a pair of keys from his jeans' pocket.  
Turning the door knob he led you in past a sliding bookcase, then flipped a light switch to his left.

Terror flooded your eyes the moment you saw what filled this room-it was like a dungeon, or a torture chamber-you weren't sure which, but you didn't care.  
Shackles, hand cuffs and weapons hung from every wall, and the solitary light bulb illuminated a single chair in the middle of the room. Right in the middle of a Devil's Trap. The chair had it's very own set of restraints, with spell work galore.

You were fucked.

Dean's grip tightened as he sensed you were about to bolt, to try to fight your way out of this. And he was right.

 _'No no no! Not again.….RUN.'_

You didn't realize it but you screamed 'No' at the top of your lungs as you tried to break free of Dean's hold on you. You punched, slapped, scratched and kicked at him-you gave it all you could in your state.

" **Stop!** " Dean yelled, who had managed to dodge nearly every fist you punched at him. And just like that, fiercely he whipped you around to face away from him, held you flush against his solid body with his arms around your waist and lifted.

He carried you over to the chair kicking and screaming.

Dean planted you roughly in the steel seat, and before you knew what hit you you couldn't move your feet, arms, or even your head. Spelled metal restraints held you every which way, even around your neck to the back of the chair. Then you felt it…you couldn't explain it, but the spell work on the restraints and chair were keeping you in a way that made your spine quiver.

And you stopped. You stopped crying, you stopped kicking and trying to break free; you just shut down. You didn't know it then, but mentally you couldn't handle it. You'd just escaped the horrendous grasp of demons and torture, for weeks you'd endured pain you'd never imagined; you couldn't grasp going through something like that again. You were on auto-pilot.

"Dean?!" Sam's voice bellowed through the bunker.

 _'Oh my god, maybe he can talk some sense into him!'_ You hoped.

"Sammy! In the dungeon!" Dean hollered back through the door way.

You're gut wrenched at the word, and you squeezed your eyes shut quickly. You didn't want to hear that word.

Sam's footsteps were nearing the door as he started to yell out to Dean again. "You okay?! I saw the blood in the hallwa-"  
He saw the scene unfolding before him. His mouth dropped and glanced between the two of you.  
"-Dean **what the fuck?!** What the hell is going on here?!" Sam jogged over to you. "Are you okay?!"

You only got the chance to meet his eyes before Dean cut you off. "She's not who she says she is, Sam!" Dean pointed his finger at you.

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Sam exclaimed, taking one quick step backward.

"Just trust me, okay?!" Dean rose his voice annoyed that his brother was questioning his judgement.

He walked closer to Sam to explain.

"Sammy, think about! Those demons-it's probably a freakin' set up man! I mean, SERIOUSLY-what if they knew we were on our way to gank 'em, huh? The whole…"

Dean gestured to you as Sam's head was cocked in interest. "…The whole 'insanely sexy damsel in distress' dangled right in front of us…she's probably working for 'em! Maybe, just maybe they wanted someone on the inside of the bunker…"

Dean's voice trailed off, and damn it! If you were Dean you'd be thinking the exact same thing right now. Of course, it'd be perfect-but unfortunately for you, that was going to make it harder for them to believe you.  
And at the same time, your inner-goddess was blushing because Dean Winchester just called you 'insanely sexy'.

 _'Well, there's one win at least…'_

You looked at Dean then at Sam, but they were completely ignoring you. You expected Sam to come to your defense, but when he didn't, your heart sank.

He ran his fingers through his hair and cursed out loud, with an angry huff. "Damnit! How could we have been so **stupid**?! I told you we shoulda left her at the hospital, Dean!" He pointed his finger at his older brother.

"Hey, excuse me for tryin' to help her out!" Dean protested.

They were both angry at the scenario they thought to be true.

"No Dean, you got all googley-eyed over a pretty girl, and you let your guard down!" Sam yelled at Dean again, who's annoyance was building.

You wish they'd stop talking about you like you weren't there. But you guessed that was how they acted in front of monsters. **Monsters**.

 _'I am not a god damned monster…'_

You knew you had to speak up while they paused. "Will you let me tell you the truth?…Please?" You managed the words out, they were quiet and broken, but precise.

They both turned to you, jolted out of their angry exchange.

Sam clenched his fists at his sides and stepped forward into the Devil's Trap. "Start talking."

Sam towered over you, waiting for you to speak. Dean joined him, both of them had their best 'bitch faces' on.

"I'm a hunter." You decided to start off slow, ease into the whole 'I'm the spawn of a Demon and an Angel' thing.

You paused waiting for them to reply, but they only raised their eyebrows waiting for you to continue.

You sighed a breath you'd been holding in for a long time.

"I've been hunting since I was 15. My Mom didn't come home one day, and I've never met my Dad." You looked down at the floor. This was harder than you thought.

"Cool story, we'll send you a sympathy card sometime-get to the part that matters!" Dean yelled.

You nodded, averted his gaze, and cleared your throat. "The-Uh…the special thing about my p-parents is…that they weren't completely human…"

Dean narrowed his eyes, and Sam crossed his arms; they were intrigued.

"My Mom…she-she was an Angel-IS an Angel, I mean I'm not sure if she's alive but-" You were interrupted by Sam.

"Wait, so you're a Nephilim?" He asked. You shook your head.

"Uh, no…not exactly. My Dad…h-he um…" You were tripping over your words, stuttering like an idiot.

"Oh for fuck's sake! **Spit it out!** " Dean screamed at you in frustration.

You jumped at the volume of his voice and opened your mouth to finish, when a man's voice you hadn't heard before boomed out throughout the dungeon.

"Sam, Dean! Let her go!" You couldn't see him, but Dean and Sam both turned on their heels to face him.

Dean said, _"Where the hell have you been Cas?!"_

*


	5. What Have I Done?

A man with stunning blue eyes, a trench coat and tie stepped into the light.

 _'Holy fuck. If that's not an Angel, I don't know what is.'_

"I know who, and more importantly, **what** she is." Cas spoke finally.

Dean crossed his arms. "And…? You wanna share with the rest of the class? 'Cause Pinocchio over there can't spell it out for us!"

Cas threw an annoyed glare at Dean, who straightened up pretty quickly. How did Cas know about you?

Cas sighed, then continued. "Not too long ago, I heard of her-more like FELT her-when she was born. It shook every supernatural being on this Earth."

You gulped. Jesus…surely he's joking.

"I…I kept a close watch over her. Obviously, any form of Nephilim is forbidden, and hunted immediately by Heaven. But…she was different." Your eyes locked with his then, and you felt like you might melt. Hearing a story about yourself that you'd never known nearly broke you; you knew so little about yourself as it was.

"Her mother was an Angel, and her father is a Demon. She is a hybrid Nephilim, something that has never existed… **ever**. It felt wrong to end her life…" Cas cleared his throat and broke his gaze with you, looking from Dean to Sam. "I assigned my sister Hannah to look after her, to make sure she had what she needed after her Mother's execution. But-" You interrupted Cas's voice by the sound of your broken sob.

Your Mom was dead, **EXECUTED**. You knew for sure now. For years you had no closure, and you chose to believe that she was alive, maybe in hiding, until you knew otherwise…and now you did. You had prepared yourself for it for so many years, but it didn't help. You were heartbroken.

Cas walked closer toward you. "I'm…sorry. I had reasons to believe that you were aware of your Mother's fate." He said, trying to sound comforting, but he was seriously awful at it.

You tried to shake your head no, but the metal restraint around your neck held you firm. You could only cry more.  
"No, I-I didn't…I didn't know." You replied.

Sam broke the silence. "We're sorry about your Mom, (y/n)…we know what it's like. But seriously…she's the child of an Angel and a Demon? How the hell does that work?" He questioned, looking to Cas.

He shook his head. "I'm not certain, but since they both possess human vessels…anything is possible I suppose."

Dean eyed you up and down. "Yeah, well…obviously. I mean (y/n) exists obviously…but why didn't we know about her until now?"

"There's never been a reason to bring (y/n) up Dean. I was keeping her safe." Cas replied matter-of-factly.

Cas gave you a sad smirk, then turned back to Sam and Dean. "We have much to discuss. But I assure you, (y/n) is harmless. She means you no harm."

Dean finally caught your stare, and the emotion in his eyes told you he was ashamed of what he'd just put you through. You didn't blame him though, how could you? You knew far too well about watching your back…

Sam cursed under his breath once more, "We're so sorry (y/n)…we had no idea…" Sam's words trailed off, unsure of what he could say to help the situation.

Cas spoke again, more urgently this time. "Sam, I need your help in the library-we're going to need multiple educational materials."

Sam smirked at Cas with a chuckle. "You mean, you want help finding books on lore pertaining to (y/n)?" He asked.

Cas nodded. "Yes, that's what I said."

Before he left, Cas took Dean by the arm and pulled him several feet away from you as Sam exited. He pulled him close and whispered something in his ear that you couldn't hear, and you saw Dean nod and clap Cas on the shoulder as he followed Sam to the library.

Dean hung his head in dismay as he made his way over to you.

 _'God damn, way to look like a puppy that just got kicked…'_

"Let's get you outta this chair." Dean quickly and precisely made work of the restraints, releasing every last one that held you.

=== *DEAN'S POV* ===

 _'What the hell have I done?! I freaked out. I fucking panicked like a friggin' IDIOT! She was just starting to trust me…she never will, now.'_

I was sure my heart fucking broke when he learned the truth about (y/n). She was only trying to protect herself…

I was moving as fast as I could to get (y/n) outta that chair. I needed to make this right-and Jesus, she was still shaking. She's probably terrified of me now, I'll never regain that trust back. Fuck, I **hurt** her-physically. I should have never been that rough with her, even if she was working for demons. (Y/n) didn't deserve that.

I held out my hand to help her out of the chair, but she wouldn't take it. That's the first time a woman has ever made me want to cry-I didn't-but God damn, I wanted to.

"I'm sorry, (y/n)…I had no idea. I um-I was trying to protect me and Sammy. That's all." I was stumbling over my words, there was nothing I could say to fix this.

"It's okay Dean. I get it." That was all she said back to me.

(Y/n) placed her hands on the arms of the chair and tried to stand, but she couldn't. Her legs shook beneath her from adrenaline and fatigue.

"Please, (y/n) let me help-" I tried to reach down to help her up, maybe carry her, she looked so tired. But instead she held her palm up at me.

"I don't want your help…" And then those eyes again… 'God! I can't fucking get enough of her eyes…they're green, no maybe hazel? I'm not sure…but if I see her tear up again I just might lose it.'

"Listen you can't walk, okay? Just let me get you to a room, and then I'll leave-you'll never have to see me again if you don't want to. I swear." I knew I'd just die if she really wanted me to leave. I couldn't bear the thought of never seeing her again. Go figure though! I finally find a smart, sexy (like God DAMN…that body…), powerful woman-no, a special woman, because she is-and I fuck it up in less than 24 hours. Go me.

She nodded at me, and my heart jumped because that was progress to me. I got to hold her close to me again, maybe make up for what I'd done. Then my eyes caught sight of her leg…all that blood. It was my fault that those stitches busted. Roughing her up like a god damned monster…I felt like a monster.

"Son of a bitch. Your leg…" I knew she already knew, she must've been in a huge amount of pain. Again, because of me.

"It's alright, it stopped bleeding I think." (Y/n) said. It sounded more like a whisper to me though.

I bent down and scooped her up into my arms, holding her like I was afraid I'd break her.

"I'll take a look at it and fix your stitches before I go, if it's alright." I dared to ask her. She was so tired that she already had let her head fall into the crook of my neck. The feel of her hair and her skin on mine felt electric.

"Um…yeah. Alright." She said back to me. Inwardly, I did a little happy dance-maybe she didn't totally despise me, after all.

I walked as slowly as I could to my bedroom so that I could hold her just a little longer. I knew I told her I'd take her to 'a room', but I decided to try to set her up in mine again. There was a TV, the bed was the best in the bunker. I'd take a different room if it meant she would be a little more at home in mine.

In my room now, she lifted her head close to mine as I set her on my bed, and I could've sworn our cheeks touched.

"I'll be right back. Don't try to move, please? Just sit tight (y/n)." I said to her, and gave her hand a squeeze. To my amazement, she didn't flinch and she didn't pull away. She pursed her lips and didn't say anything.

I paid zero attention to Sammy and Cas when I passed the library to the first aid kit. I was on a mission.

Cas had said something to me before he walked out of the dungeon. He death-gripped my arm, and whispered something to me, "You **WILL** make this right, Dean." And I knew I'd try my damnedest to.

I returned to (y/n) only a couple minutes later. Her eyes flew open when I opened the door, she must've fallen asleep.

"Hey…sorry sweetheart. Didn't mean to startle you." I said, and then realized it wasn't a good idea to call her sweetheart right now.

"I-It's okay. I just fell asleep, that's all." She replied. I took a seat next to her on the bed. She seemed nervous…I had to say something.

"I'm so sorry." I told her, really gazing into those beautiful eyes…she needed to know I meant it.  
"I don't know what I can do to fix what I did. I really don't, but I hope to God you'll let me try…please?" I was willing to get down on my knees and fucking beg her.

(Y/n) looked intrigued and surprised. "Dean…I'm not angry. Really, I'm not." She told me. I raised my eyebrows at her in question. Surely she was joking?

She went on, "You were trying to keep you and your brother safe. Hunters like us have to shoot first, and ask questions later. I would've done the same thing…" And I must've had some really good karma, because then (y/n) actually held my hand. I was ecstatic.

"I don't hold grudges Dean. I've never had the time for them. And to be honest, I've never had a friend in my life to be angry at. The fact that you're willing to be my friend even knowing what you do now…" (Y/n) wiped a tear away from her eye.  
"…well, I'd take a friend that screws up sometimes over no friends at all."

I couldn't believe it. What an Angel she was…she really forgave me, just like that-when I knew I didn't deserve it one bit. I decided then and there, that I was never going to let this woman walk out of my life. And with that, I was going to keep her safe. I was putty in her freakin' hands, and I couldn't be happier.


	6. Stay

You awoke the next morning to the smell of coffee. Half-asleep, you bolted upright and took in surroundings, realizing you were still in Dean's room, in his bed. You breathed a sigh of relief. The two of you hadn't said much more to each other the night before, and you'd passed out quickly after he left the room.

Your chest tightened thinking about what happened, but you chose to ignore it.

 _'There ya go Champ! Suppress your anger like you always do. It always works out awesome.'_ You thought. 

You closed your eyes to clear your head and ran your hand through your hair. Your fingers were caught by knots-then you caught a wiff of yourself.

 _'Eeww. I need a shower, stat.'_

Swinging your legs over the bed, you stood-you were sore and shaky, but at least you were top side. You caught eye of a bag on the floor next to the bed. On top was a piece of scrap paper with your name on it.  
Curiously you open it, and they were the clothes Sam had gotten for you the day before. ' _Ohhh thank God. No more flannel!'_ You thought, inwardly jumping for joy.

You let yourself into Dean's bathroom, and took the best shower you'd had in months. As you looked yourself over in the mirror, you noted the new bruise on your arm, and swore to yourself you'd make sure Dean saw it. Anger pooled in you again. You wanted more than anything to march down that hallway and beat him senseless.

 _'Who the hell did he think he was?! Just because he saves peoples' lives all the time doesn't mean he can treat people like that!'_ You were thinking, as a painful memory resurfaced in your head. One you didn't want to think about.

' _Don't think about that right now...not here. You'll make it right one day, just not today...'_

Your mind went back to Dean...You knew you forgave him-it was in your blood, you couldn't help it. You cared about people, and you had done some heinous things yourself.

But forgiving didn't make you forget.

You hadn't felt anger like this in a very long time. The last time you were this angry you had greeted Hanna with an upper-cut after she told you your Mother was nowhere to be found, and that she would look after you for now.  
Albeit, you weren't angry with Hanna. You were enraged at the fact you then had no parents at all.

Breaking yourself from the memory, you decided to put your thoughts aside because you were too exhausted to deal with them right now.

You got dressed, and chose a black v-neck t-shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans out of the bag of clothes. You mentally noted that you'd definitely need to pay Sam back. Everything fit great, and he'd even bought you a pair of brown leather low-top combat boots.

Hearing voices coming from the main room in the bunker, you made you way there. You found Sam and Castiel sitting at the table among several very old looking books and two laptops.

Sam noticed you in the door way. "Hey! How'd ya sleep? We uh, didn't wake you…figured you needed it. But hey, you look like you're feeling better!"

"It's okay Sam, I really am…it was the best night's sleep I've had in forever, thank you." You replied. "Where's Dean?"

Sam pursed his lips. You could tell he was angry at his brother. "He's in the garage," He said. "Probably tinkering with Baby or something."

You didn't say anything back about it, because you weren't sure what you'd say anyway. Instead of talking about Dean further, Sam smiled and offered you some breakfast and coffee; which you happily accepted. You rejoined them at the table and sat closer to Castiel, curious to see what on earth an Angel of the Lord would be looking at on a laptop. He must have sensed your curiosity.

"We're reading up on a few things, Sam thinks he found a case…" Cas's voice trailed off as he was drawn back into the glowing screen in front of him.

You perked up immediately, getting anxious to hit the road again to start killing some damn monsters. "What'd you find?" You asked through a mouthful of food.

Sam chuckled at your excitement and answered. "I'm pretty sure it's a vengeful spirit. Easy stuff…not too far from here either."

You took a drink of coffee and went on. "I could go check it out for you guys on my way out,"

Cas looked at you in question. "You're leaving?"

"I figured since I'm doing better now I shouldn't overstay my welcome." You replied.

At this Sam's face dropped, and he looked to Cas, who shut his laptop and stood. "My I speak with you in private, (y/n)?"

That surprised you. You knew he said there was 'much to discuss' the night before, but you didn't think it meant you couldn't

leave.

You followed Cas to the library, who shut the door behind the two of you.

You crossed your arms and looked at him across from you, waiting for him to talk.

 _'If this angelic motherfucker thinks he's about to tell me I can't leave, I will just LOSE it.'_ You thought.

Castiel rolled his eyes, then took a seat. "(Y/n), you can leave if you'd like-but I'd like to tell you why I don't think you should."

Your eyes widened at his statement-then remembered he was an Angel, just like Hannah was. She used to do that crap to you all the time. And annoying as it was, you certainly missed it.

"Okay…tell me then. Why not?" You sassed.

"I know you want to leave because of Dean, (y/n)." Cas said, inviting you to sit down in the chair across from him.

You obliged.

"I spoke with Dean last night and, I know how sorry is…and he said you forgave him?" He asked you, squinting his eyes at you like he was searching for something in yours.

"Yeah, I did…big deal?" You replied.

"Then why are you so ready to leave?" Cas folded his hands and sat back in his chair.

You sighed in frustration and fidgeted in your chair. ' _Damn angels!'_

"I-I don't know, Cas. Why shouldn't I?!"

He pursed his lips then leaned forward. "(Y/n) the demons that had you aren't the last of those who are still searching for you. You'd be protected here, this bunker is warded against EVERYTHING you could imagine."

You didn't say anything and stared at the floor, knowing he was right-as much as you hated to admit it.

"And as for you and Dean…He knows he did a terrible thing to you. And trust me, he is the best man I know. But…" His voice trailed off, looking uncomfortable, like he was going to tell you a huge secret. You leaned forward.

"…I can sense your anger towards him. I can also sense your mutual attraction for each other…however, he shouldn't be let off the hook so easily (y/n). Dean assumes things quickly, and makes reckless choices because of this life he leads. He trusts no one, but he expects it in return. That will make him or break him someday...and maybe you can help him realize that."

"And how would I do that, Cas? He's my not my problem to fix!" You said defensively.

"I'm not asking you to fix him, (y/n). I'm asking you to stay, and give it time." After you didn't say anything (you were thinking way too hard), Cas went on.

"I also have a much more important matter to discuss with you, (y/n)." He said.

 _'Why didn't he start with that?'_ You thought.

"Because I felt your resentment toward Dean…I thought we should discuss it." He replied.

You threw your hands up at him, but smirked. "Stop reading my thoughts, Cas. It's creepy."

He apologized, and he told why he needed you to stay. You listened.

"(Y/n), Nephilim have powers-special abilities. They're the most powerful creatures on this earth. But to my knowledge, you don't…and frankly, I'm confused. I'm afraid that if you don't find a way to harness them, activate them so-to-speak…" Cas looked at the floor, trying to find the words.

You cocked your head. _'What is he trying to say?!'_

"I've always been normal Cas! Are you about to tell me I'm gonna go nuclear if I don't go all 'X-Men'?!" You scoffed. He had to be kidding.

"Yes, (y/n). The amount of pure energy you radiate…it's overwhelming…you just don't know how to use it yet."

You felt so angry. If your parents were here, they could help you.

"So you know how to use them? Do you know some 'Jedi Master' to show me the ways of the 'Force'?! Because last time I checked, I'm an orphaned freak with a price tag on my head!" Tears were welling in your eyes, and you surprised yourself at your tone. You hadn't meant to yell at Cas, and he knew that.

"No I don't know how to, but Sam, Dean and I…we're looking for answers. I didn't mean to upset you. I just want to help-WE want to help. We want you to stay. Please (y/n), will you give us a chance?"

No one-not anyone would be able to say no to that face. You wanted so badly to say no. Not because of Dean, but because you'd been alone for so long, that you were used to it now…it was your safe place. Pushing your fear aside, you agreed.

"Yes, Cas…I'll stay. For now...as long as I have a say in how we approach this. And I want to hunt in the meantime...Deal?" You said, humbled by accepting his help. It'd been a long time since anyone sincerely wanted to help you, and these 3 men did. Granted, one of them was a dreamy-eyed asshat in need of a reality check…but you'd give it time. 

Cas spoke again. "Of course (y/n)..." He smiled at you sweetly, then a question formed in his eyes. "(Y/n), what is a 'Jedi Master'?"


	7. The Judge And The Jury

After the conversation you had with Cas, you'd felt sick to your stomach. He'd given you a very stiff hug (at least he tried), and told you he'd be there to talk if you needed to.

Your head was swimming.

You knew the past few years you'd had anger issues, but who didn't?  
And sure, you had a short fuse…no 'tick-tick', just BOOM. You'd always accepted that as part of your personality.

You found an empty bedroom to gather yourself in. Completely immersed in your thoughts, you fell back on the bed and closed your eyes. You were mentally and physically exhausted; even though you'd gotten a great night's sleep, that didn't make up for the weeks full of sleeplessness you endured.

And even the million questions in your mind couldn't keep sleep from calling your name.

As you dozed off, the only thing you didn't want to think about-the only memories you never wanted to relive-replayed themselves for you like a broadway musical.

 ***FLASHBACK***

 _It was the day the demons caught up with you._

 _Earlier that morning you were stuffing your face with your quick breakfast, sitting on the rock hard bed in a grossly under kept motel room. Your eyes were glued to the TV._

 _The morning news in Enid, Oklahoma was buzzing with footage of a dead man walking…literally. Alan Rose, a man who police found brutally murdered along with his wife Cindy the day before, was caught on a bank's security camera withdrawing his entire savings account in cash._

 _You turned the TV off and tossed the remote on the bed. "I hate Shape Shifters." You sneered._

 _In 10 minutes flat you were tearing out of the motel's gravel parking lot, leaving airborne rocks and a cloud of dust in your wake._

 _By night-fall you had them pegged to an abandoned warehouse (of course) on the outskirts of town._

 _Time was one thing you didn't like to waste-you were both Judge and Jury, and you were ready. Silver bullets were loaded in your gun, and your machete strapped to your hip._

 _You barged in, full of adrenaline._

 _It was quiet and dark. The street lamps from outside were the only sources of light illuminating the warehouse through it's grimy windows._

 _The hair on the back of your neck stood, but before you could turn you were tackled from behind.  
Being as experienced as you were, you gained the upper hand quickly. You stood above the woman that wore the skin of the once happily married Cindy Rose._

 _Raising your gun ready fill her with silver, you were stopped by a man's voice. "Wait! Don't hurt her!"_

 _You smirked to yourself, but didn't turn to him yet. **'And there's the second one.'**_

 _Swiftly and with expertise, you knocked the woman out cold with the butt of your gun before she got a word out._

 _Holstering your weapon, you turned to face the fake Mr. Rose, and saw he had his hands up._

 _He was approaching you with caution. "Please, we didn't mean to hurt anyone-" You cut his words short, charging him and backing him into the wall._

 _Your machete was pulled and across his throat._

 _" **-Bullshit!** " You screamed at him, ready to bring some justice to the poor couple they'd killed._

 _"We had to!" He was sputtering, but your intrigue let him continue.  
"We're running from-from our family…they do t-terrible things to people. We can't do it anymore! We don't want to...My wife and I just want to live our lives, we want to be normal-"_

 _"Stop lying to save your ass! You're **NOT** normal!" Your knuckles whitened on your machete, your wrath was ready to unleash on him…until his next words left his mouth._

The Shifter spoke so low you barely heard him. "Neither are you."

You narrowed your eyes at him, keeping your machete tight on his neck.

"You don't know a damn thing about me…" Your words faded into the air through clenched teeth as he nodded 'yes' in objection.

"Oh, but I do. The others…they talk about you. There's a price on your head." Was he warning you?

"Guess that makes me special then." You inhaled sharply ready to finish the job.

Sensing his end coming, he spoke quickly again.

"Please! Just hear me out-we won't hurt anyone else, we just want to live our lives together-" You tuned most of his rant out, still ready to kill them both. They were monsters and you were a hunter; that was how it went.

"-please, just let us go! You, you're just like us, we're one in the same! We're both different, both on the run-"

 **SLICE.**

Blood splattered onto your face, but you didn't flinch. You watched as the light left his eyes, and you whispered into his ear.

 **"I am nothing like you."**

You finished the job-the shifters were no more. As you dropped your blood-covered self behind the wheel of your car, you stared blankly ahead at the warehouse.

 **'Monsters never go suburbia. He was lying so you wouldn't kill him, that's what they do.'**

Angrily, you yanked the car into drive. But when your tires hit the asphalt, you began to wonder if you were wrong.

 ***END FLASHBACK***

You awoke, startled and sweaty. You didn't want to relive that ever again; you were afraid it would follow you the rest of your life.

The need you felt to punch something- **anything** -was overwhelming. Then you remembered Sam said they had a room they sparred in and used to exercise.

You threw on a pair of running shorts from the bag of clothes (you noted to yourself you needed to fold and put them away), and a grey tank top that silhouetted your curves perfectly. And you kept your low-top combat boots on for good measure, since those were what you fought in.

You found the room, and there was a rack of weights, more than several resistance bands (most were broken), and YES! There it was…a punching bag.

Your spirits lifted instantly, and you smiled like a kid on Christmas morning.

Approaching it like it'd grow legs and walk away, you ran your fingers down it. You used to have one at home, and you forgot how great it made you feel, imagining whatever you were frustrated with and just going to town on the bag.

 _ **PUNCH.**_

 _ **PUNCH. KICK.**_

You were weaker than normal, but you smirked and kept going. _'I've still got it.'_

More punching, more kicks. God damn it, this felt good!

You were so immersed in your furious attack on the punching bag, that you hadn't heard footsteps behind you until they were close…too close.

You spun on instinct, and swung at whatever you'd heard behind you with footsteps.

 _Oops._

Dean was there, and caught your fist with his hand.

 _'What the actual fuck! He's got some 'Matrix-style' kinda skills.'_

Panting for air, you ripped your fist out of the palm of his hand and glared at him, hard.

"You want me to hang my picture on that thing for ya?" Dean gestured to the punching bag.

You huffed.

"Nope. Why use a picture when the real thing's right here in front of me?" You replied with a dare. You turned to the weight rack and grabbed a bottle of water you'd set there earlier. Dean didn't say anything back until you were done gulping half the bottle down loudly.

"Do you want to?" He asked, totally serious. He crossed his arms, and you did the same; throwing your weight into your right hip with sass.

"What the hell do you mean? You **want** me to hit you?" You said in disbelief.

Dean was unsure of himself now. "Yeah, if you want to…I mean, would it make you feel better…?"

You thought for a moment. Looking at your feet, than back up to Dean who was waiting for you to answer.

 _'God that would feel good-just punch his gorgeous face right in the nose! What would that fix though…?'_

"No Dean, I don't want a freebie from you." You said, eerily calm. Then you thought for a moment, and came up with a better idea. "Fight me-just you and me. Right now."

Dean was taken back, surprise etched his features as he took a step back. He shook his head at you. "No, (y/n). I'm not fighting you. Wouldn't be a fair fight." With that he only stared into your (y/e/c) eyes and didn't say another word. But he didn't run away.

 _'Ooohhh this mother fucker!'_ What a terrible time to piss you off.

"Oh! Really?! That's how you wanna play it?!" You were screaming at him, which he accepted as he stood there straight-faced, taking it. "You think because I'm a **girl** I can't fight as well as you?! Get fucked Dean!"

You started to storm out when Dean called out to you to stop. You didn't want to, but you did.

You turned to face him. " **What?!** " You spat at him.

He flinched a little on that one. You were pretty scary when you were mad.

"It wouldn't be a fair fight because you're HURT (y/n)! And I wouldn't even fight back anyway, that's why I told you to hit me!"

' _He wants me to him? I'll hit him.'_ You thought.

Your eyes were glistening with intent as you furiously stalked back toward Dean like he was your prey. He kept his feet planted right where he was, like he knew what was coming.

You were seeing red, your whole body was buzzing. 

_**BAM!**_

Your fist connected with his jawbone so hard that you thought you broke a knuckle. You shook your hand out, and saw a bloody mouthed Dean holding his jaw and righting himself up best he could.

Then in a split second, you felt terrible. It didn't solve anything between the two of you…but dammit, it felt good!

You were standing there staring at him, holding his jaw wincing in pain.

"Dean, damn it! Why'd you let me hit you?!…" You reached up to pull his hand from his face to assess the damage you'd done.

And to your surprise he let you, and he smirked sheepishly at you. It was a bloody smile, but it was there.

"To make you feel better…?" He said while he used his other hand to wipe the blood from his lips.

You pulled his chin closer to you to get a better look.

"I uh…yeah actually. I feel better…" You chuckled a bit, until your eyes caught his. ' _Why the hell do I wanna kiss him?! I mean how does someone look that good after they take a hit? He is so not normal.'_

Before those green orbs can draw you in further, you speak.

"That's gonna leave a mark, Winchester. Regret the 'free punch coupon' yet?" You smirked, letting go of his chin.

Almost seductively, he winked at you. "I'd let you do it again if it made you smile."

And you did-until you heard more heavy foot steps treading into the room. It was Sam and Cas.

"Hey guys, we found a case-" Sam stopped short at seeing Dean's face, as it was already starting to swell. "-what the hell happened to your face, Dean?!"

You turned on your heels to face them both and smiled proudly.

"I did." You said, puffing out your chest with your hands on your hips.

Immediately, Castiel straightened his posture to stand a bit taller, glowing like a proud father. His blue eyes gleamed as he put his hands in his pockets; as if he was thinking ' _She took my advice. You go girl!'_ _._

Behind you, Dean's wide-mouthed (yet still bloodied) grin still remained. He pointed at you behind your back and nodded at Sam. "Yeah, uh…she's got an arm on her!" Dean said.

Sam held a confused stance, but still approved with a nod. "Huh. Not bad, (y/n)…" Then he glared at his brother with little compassion for his swelling face. "Dean, you should get that cleaned up. We hit the road in an hour."


	8. Closets

An hour later, the four of you were piled into Baby and on the way to work the case Sam and Cas found. Sam was driving (Dean had to pop a pain pill for his jaw), Cas rode shotgun, and Dean was with you in the back seat.

You were actually impressed to see Dean give up the steering wheel so easily to Sam. It seemed like he would normally have fought harder, but he put his ego aside and slid into the back seat as soon as he realized he would get to sit with you.  
Castiel was so happy to ride shotgun; he looked like an excited puppy on his first real drive.

Sam had tried to get you and Cas to stay behind at the bunker, to which you'd said **"Make me."**

Cas had your back again on this one, and told Sam he wasn't a babysitter. You didn't mind though. You knew he didn't mean offense by it when he winked at you when Sam and Dean turned around.

The case was taking you to Denver, CO. You were so pumped; first off, it was the first hunt you were going on since you'd been taken by those black-eyed sons of bitches, and second: COLORADO. You'd been there just a few months prior on a salt and burn case. It had amazing air, snow, mountains…you felt like you were on the way to Disney World.

From what Sam and Cas gained from police reports and newspapers, it looked like a lone vampire was terrorizing a college town. There had been three people found dead with their throats ripped out by a 'wild animal', and a fourth person was missing. Apparently she was a sophomore at the local college, and had gone missing the same night the first victim was found dead. All of you were hopeful to find her, but none of you had high expectations…it had been days since she was last seen.

It wasn't too long of a drive, thankfully. It felt almost suspenseful sitting in the backseat with Dean, but you were gleaming about it as well. Way too often, you'd catch him stealing glances at you when he thought you weren't looking. You liked it though, and that made you feel something you hadn't before. But you managed to stand your ground, not giving him any leeway.

At one point you'd taken your jacket off, revealing a v-neck tank underneath. It showed a little more cleavage than you liked, but in this case you didn't mind. It seemed like it drove him mad. You'd look out the window at the scenery (you were still in Kansas, so it wasn't much), and out of the corner of your eye saw him eyeing you up and down hungrily.

"Take a picture, Dean." You'd said it as if you were annoyed, but you weren't. You never wanted him to stop looking at you that way.

After obtaining a new pair of 'FBI Threads' (as Dean referred to them), the four of you had split up to question the local coroner's office and the surrounding bars that attracted the most college kids.

You went with Cas to check out a few bars, and Sam and Dean handled the coroner's office. After being kicked out of the first bar, you took over the questioning, though…being an Angel, Castiel lacked the ability to drive loaded questions to home base.

"You can't just **ask** someone if they've seen a dude with fangs, Cas!" You scolded him.

"I was getting to the point, (y/n). The man was busy, he had patrons to tend to." He replied, not missing a beat (or so he'd thought).

Thankfully, the third bar proved to be a hit after you flirted your way to some answers from the very nervous bartender.

And right on time (just as the bartender asked for your phone number), Sam texted you saying they were on their way to pick the two of you up.

Back at the motel, the four of you shared what you'd learned. Obviously, it was a vampire. But furthermore, it had to be more than one. Two of the deaths that had taken place had been several miles apart, and the victims had identical times of death.

Knowing that was no coincidence, you told them about the bartender you questioned earlier.

"One of the bars we went today…the bartender said he saw these two guys with the girl that went missing. Apparently, he told the cops about it. But they thought he was a whack job."

You went on.

"And…it gets better. He was scared out of his mind. He said those same guys rented a place a few houses down from him, and they…" You put your hands up for quotations, "'Threw off a real creepy Fright Night kinda vibe, yo'…End quote."

Dean shifted on the bed he sat on. "If he talks like that no wonder the cops don't believe him…"

You glared at Dean. "Ok, do you have anything better then?"

He buried his face in his hands with frustration. "Okay, so…some hippy says his new neighbors are creeps. And he is **positive** he saw them with the chick that's missing?"

You nodded. "Yes. And trust me, this guy was on edge."

Sam sighed. "Alright, then we take it. Let's scope out the house, see what we can find?" He asked.

' _YES.'_

After the four of you changed, you headed out to the address the bartender gave you.

You'd pointed the house out to Dean with the 'rapey van' (as the bartender had refered to it) parked out front.

You, Cas and Sam bailed out of the car in a hurry as Dean went to park a couple blocks away. Your plan wasn't great, but if these were your perps they'd probably meet back here before going out to hunt.

Sam picked the lock on the privacy fence gate, and the three of you waited behind it for Dean. It wasn't long before he was back though.

Dean laid down the plan quickly, since sunset was falling. "Alright, (y/n), you'll keep watch over this side of the fence. Sammy will take the back door, and Cas will take the south side of the fence. I'll take the inside of the house. Got it?" Boy, was he excited.

Cas was confused. "Why am I watching the fence, Dean? What good would that do?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Alright. Cas, come with me-you can take the upstairs. (Y/n) will watch the north side, she'll be safer that way."

You huffed angrily, crossing your arms. "Really? You're leaving the midget in the group to watch over the 6 foot privacy fence? No. I'm coming with you."

And with that, you stalked off toward the front door to pick the lock.

You didn't see it, but after you walked away, a speechless Dean looked to Sam and Cas to intervene, but they both gave him a look that said _'Don't look at me.'._

Once inside the house, you, Cas and Dean looked around. No furniture, no food, nothing. Just a few makeshift beds on the living room floor, and several bloodstained towels and pairs of clothes in the bathroom.

"When did that guy say they moved in?" Dean asked you.

"A couple weeks ago…you'd think they would have had their stuff in here by now." Your eyes scanned the house again, looking for anything else out of the ordinary-other than the bloodstained laundry and the emptiness.

"Yeah. I'd say these are our guys." Dean gave you a thumbs up, to which you winked back at him.

 _'Don't flirt during hunts!'_

Cas was upstairs now, and Dean opened his mouth to say something again when he was cut off.

"Up here!" Cas's voice came urgently.

Quick on your feet, you rushed to the stairs first and Dean was right behind you.

Cas was waiting in the hall for you with a grim expression. His blue eyes were dimmed as he was pursing his lips, and he pointed to the bathroom in front of him.

"She's dead." He stated.

You looked behind you at Dean who was already charging toward the bathroom.

It was the missing girl. She was ghostly pale, completely devoid of life and drained of her blood.

" **God dammit!** " You exclaimed, but tried to stay quiet.

Cas was peering through the blinds of the bedroom window beside the bathroom now keeping watch.

"There's a car pulling in…" He warned you both.

You and Dean barely made it down the stairs before the car door shut. You glanced about quickly trying to find a good hiding place, when you heard the sound of jingling keys outside the front door.

Just as the lock began to turn, Dean pulled you with him into the closet beneath the stairs. It was so small you thought you'd suffocate.

' _Even Harry Potter would bail on this closet…'_

The two of you listened as the front door squeal open. As it did, Dean put his hands on your waist and pulled you farther away from the closet door with him, and you didn't object. He pulled you back tight against him, his hands on your waist making your body shudder with electricity. You could hear and feel his heart beating, every move his muscles made.

Then, footsteps. The front door closed and then was locked by whoever had just entered. The steps came close about to pass the closet door, and Dean tightened his grip on you, moving one arm entirely across your mid-section. As the footsteps passed, you both held your breath for fear the monster could smell or hear you. But he didn't.

His footsteps faded into a room down the hall.

When the door shut with a slam and the sound of a shower turning on could be heard, you both breathed a sigh a relief.

During your much needed exhale, you leaned your head back until it fell on Dean's shoulder. You could feel his hot breath on your neck, leaving goosebumps in it's wake.

"Should we slice and dice fang boy while he's in the shower?" You whispered up to Dean.

"Nah. I have a strict rule about gankin' naked things…let's wait for the second one to show up." He whispered back to you.

You waited a moment, listening for any new noises around you.

Then, you weren't sure why, but you turned your gaze upwards to look at him. You were taken back when he was already looking down at you. Even in the dark, you could see his green eyes boring holes into your very soul.

And by a force unknown to either of you, your faces crept closer together. Your noses touched one another's, and finally your lips grazed his. You both paused in that moment, not sure what the other was going to do. He pulled you closer into him, fingers splayed on your stomach. And before you knew what hit you, his mouth was on yours. Your lips moved with his in a slow, wanton pattern. It was soft and loving, not greedy and hasty as you'd expected.

You pulled away for a moment; your foreheads touching, breathing each other in.  
Inwardly you were scolding yourself, saying you should stop this instant.

But in a fraction of a second, your lips were tasting his again.

' _Oh, fuck it.'_

It was intoxicating being this close to him, tasting him, and his arms enveloping you. You felt safe and wanted-and you knew you wanted him too, badly.

Your kiss grew in urgency, and your lips parted slightly, granting his tongue's permission to explore your mouth. You whimpered a little at the sensation, remembering it was important to stay quiet.

His hands maneuvered down to your hips, and firmly but gently pulled them into his groin, making your back arch ever so slightly so that your mouth didn't leave his. You knew you were so screwed-you loved this. The two of you were delving deeper into each other's mouths, neither of you wanting to stop for air.

The way he tasted, and the way his kiss was needy but tender; the way his hands moved on you made you wish you weren't in a closet waiting to gank a vampire.

And just like that, you tore away from your heated kiss to the sound of the bathroom door opening. Dean still gripped you tight, both of you breathing heavily trying desperately to steady yourselves.

The footsteps passed you again, and you could hear the man was on the phone with someone.

"Yeah, it came in just a bit ago actually-yeah, it's still here. He can come pick it up whenever…Yes…Yes sir-I'll have it ready." And he hung up.

Dean nudged your hip, and you knew what that meant. ' _Time for some ass-whoopin'.'_

You gripped the blade on your hip and readied yourself. Your muscles burnt with anticipation. You were ready to show this blood-sucker what being headless felt like.

And then suddenly, you heard the man cry out in surprise outside the door.

"What the!-" _**OOMPH**._

Something had hit him, then the sound of steel slicing through air ended with the thud of something heavy dropping on the floor.

' _Did Sam just kill that son of a bitch without us?!'_

Just as you reached for the doorknob, the closet door was creaking open by some unknown force.

In a heartbeat Dean had you behind him, ready to pounce with his blade raised.

"You've gotta be kidding me!" Dean exclaimed as he saw who stood before him. You quickly craned your neck to see, but Dean's free hand held you back.

A man's voice with a thick british accent answered him.

"Not kidding. Out of the way Squirrel, you've got something I want."


	9. Pandora's Box

"Not happening, Crowley-" Dean snarled, before being interrupted by fingers snapping.

With a whirlwind sensation, you and Dean were suddenly in the living room. Your eyes were adjusting to the light above, as you eyed over a man in a black suit standing before you, looking to be very pleased with himself. On the floor behind him laid a very headless Vampire, his head a few feet away from him. A slim, old-looking machete laced with crimson was in Crowley's hands.

The smell of sulphur was suddenly overwhelming. Your mind raced, the name Crowley sounded so familiar…

"Hello love. Name's Crowley, I run the Hell." Dean was moving to stand between the two of you.

' _Ohhhh we might be fucked…King of Hell.'_

Instantly you knew you shouldn't act impressed. This guy was probably all talk (you hoped). You folded your arms across your chest, holding an open hand up to Dean, motioning to him to move out of the way.

"Ohh… **you're** the King of Hell?" You said to him, taking a step forward holding your chin up, as if to inspect him.

"That's right, love-and I've been looking for you for awhile now…" Crowley replied, his eyes roaming over you as if you were about to be the best meal he'd ever had. Your stomach churned. He removed a handkerchief from his coat pocket and absent-mindedly began cleaning the blood off his blade.

Your head cocked to one side, keeping your eyes fixated on him. "Why's that? Did I win Publisher's Clearing House…?" Your voice laced with sarcasm, a smirk formed on your lips. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Dean give you a look that told you ' _don't fuck with this guy'_. You didn't care though. You'd treat him like the cockroach he was.

Crowley's mouth fell into a straight line, unamused. Tossing his machete to the ground angrily, he narrowed his eyes at you. "You're special, (y/n). Did your winged friend upstairs not tell you that?" His eyes moved to the ceiling, gesturing to where Castiel was.

You clenched your teeth, and watched as he rose his hand up slowly, fingers poised. With another finger snap, Castiel was beside you and Dean. When he saw Crowley before him, you could have sworn you heard him growl (if angels did that).

"Good to see you, Feathers…" Crowley gave him a wink, then looked to Dean. "Squirrel, where's your Moose…?" His eyes glistened again, like he was having fun. He eyed the back door and his lips curled upward maliciously. Raising his hand again, the back door opened before his fingers could snap.

Sam came through. "No need to wear yourself out, Crowley. I'm right here." He said, shutting the back door behind him then taking his place beside his brother.

"This isn't gonna end well for you, Crowley…I'd stop while you're ahead." Dean challenged him, twirling a crooked dagger between his fingers.

"Squirrel, you're just angry that I interrupted your '7 Minutes In Heaven' in the closet with (y/n)…" Crowley said, returning his gaze to you.

 _'Wow…what a douchebag'._

Dean's jaw clenched, and you felt Castiel's eyes darting between you and Dean. None of you spoke.

Crowley chuckled, flashing his white teeth, then spoke to you again.

"(Y/n), I can help you-I've got recourses you can't imagine…" You rolled your eyes, but no one stopped him from speaking. "I bet you don't even know how much power you've got locked up inside you. You're literally Pandora's Box, love-and I'm the only one with the key-" You cut him off there.

"So what's the key, 'Oh Mighty One'?" You taunted him. "Testosterone and Mommy issues? Because I smelled it on you the moment you walked in-" In a flash his arm shot out with an open hand at you, and you felt an invisible force tightening around your neck like a noose.

"Watch your tone with me, _demon spawn_ …!" He snarled at you.

' _Shit.'_

You could barely breathe. Crowley's hold on you was tight, and it was suffocating. The optimist in you knew he couldn't kill you- he needed you for something.

Your vision started to blur as you could only see flashes of the action moving in front of you. It happened too fast.

Dean ran to your side, then was lunging at Crowley with his blade. Sam yelled something at Cas; it was something about you, but you couldn't focus on his voice.

It was only when you fell to your knees that you felt it. The floor beneath you shook.

Crowley still had a firm hold on you; but was busy fending off the boys.

Through your burning lungs and watering eyes, you looked out the window that was rattling now.

It was past dusk, but against the last glowing remnants of sunlight you could see it.  
You saw the thick black cloud billowing toward the house with a kind of fury you'd never seen.

 _'Ohh, Christ…demons…'_

Knowing the four of you couldn't take that many demons alone, you did the only thing you could do.

With will power and adrenaline you didn't even know you had, you screamed, "I'll go with you!"

As soon as the words left your lips, Crowley released his hold on you, and oxygen flooded back into your lungs. With a flippant toss of his hand, he had Sam and Dean pinned against the quaking wall like bugs he was about to squash. But he couldn't move Cas, who was visibly struggling to keep his feet planted on the ground beside you. Crowley mumbled something to himself about how 'Feathers didn't have the juice to take him', and he left him be-for the moment.

Crowley's sinister eyes caught your's, and he smiled. "What was that, pet?"

You stood on shaky legs, warily eyeing the dark cloud of demons closing in on you.

"If you call off those demons, I'll go with you, I won't fight!" You were trying to be strong.

"(Y/n), **don't you dare!** " Dean screamed, until a glance from Crowley rendered him unable to speak again.

Crowley closed his eyes, as if searching for something in his head. Then as the cloud slowed to a stop, you knew what he was doing.

Cas looked at you with puppy-dog eyes, pleading you not to do what you were about to.

"My demons stay there 'till you and I have gone, love…for insurance." He said, holding his hand out to you.

You shook your head. "No, that's not all. Dean, Cas and Sam get to walk. If there's a **single scratch** -" Crowley rolled his eyes with disgust.

"Of course, (y/n). Your friends will be unscathed, you have my word." He replied, then re-offered his open hand to you.

You couldn't look back at Cas, or Sam and Dean-they'd hate you for this, but at least they'd be alive to.

You willed yourself to accept his hand, and as you reached for it you saw his face fall lush with anger.

"Don't even think about it feathers-" He started to yell, but then he wasn't there. None of them were.

You hadn't seen Castiel leap forward to grab you.

Then there was that feeling again; almost the same as when Crowley snapped you and Dean out of the closet, but this was minutely different. It didn't feel forceful or malicious, it felt like you were being shielded from something.

Then you felt your backside hit a cold hard floor, and felt someone beside you. You opened your eyes. You were back at the bunker, and Castiel was pulling you to your feet before you could utter a word.

"(Y/n)! Are you alright?!" Cas grabbed you by the shoulders, his worried face inspecting you.

When you realized where you were and what he'd just done, you batted his arms away. " **What the hell have you done, Cas?!** Did you just ' **whoosh'** me outta there?!" You yelled.

His eyes darkened, and he breathed deeply through his nose. "Yes (y/n)! To keep you safe-" His voice raised.

"Sam and Dean are still there!" Your voice threatened to break. "They can't take all those demons alone, Cas! **Take me back NOW!** " You pounded your fists in to his chest, trembling with anger. You knew it didn't phase him though.

Cas halted you, taking a firm hold of both your wrists. Then he spoke to you, his tone was low with intent.

"Do not leave this bunker…I'm going back for them-" _**WHOOSH**_.

He was gone.

The sound of fluttering wings left you alone and sick to your stomach. You clutched your head, and tears of frustration broke free from your (y/e/c) eyes.

"You can't leave me here!" You screamed at the ceiling, hoping he'd hear you. "Screw you, Cas!"

Nothing but silence.

You prayed to god that Cas had what it took. You knew he might not be strong enough...

 _'Get them outta there Cas! Please, please come back'._


	10. You're Wearing My T-Shirt

After 5 minutes, you started pacing as you bit your nails.

When 15 minutes passed, you were calling Dean's phone. Then Sam's, then Castiel's.

Then 30 minutes came and went, and you were sitting alone at the table you'd first marveled when Dean and Sam brought you to the bunker.

' _They're gonna wish they never fucking found me…what if-what if they don't come back?'_ Your thoughts were running wild.

Just as you thought you'd go insane, your phone rang with a number you didn't recognize.

"Hello?!" You practically screamed into the phone.

' _ **Er, um…hello?'**_ __A nervous man's voice came through the other end.

"Who the hell is this?"

' ** _Um…I just work at the Gas n' Sip in Denver…this really scary dude told me to call this number and say 'they're on their way'…?'_**

"What? What'd he look like?" You blubbered.

 ** _'Geez lady, I dunno-scary? Looked like he got in a fight? Cool car, though. He said he'd kill me if I didn't-'_**

You hung up and held the phone to your chest, and smiled through your tears.

 _'They're okay'._

It was around 6:00 am. You were wide awake and waiting for the boys to waltz through the bunker door. You weren't sure if they were going to hug you, or wring your neck.

 _'I was just trying to save their asses…they would've done the same for me…'_

Grabbing a bottle of Dean's whiskey (you didn't dare touch the good stuff without him), you reached for a glass but then said aloud to yourself, "Why fuckin' bother?" And took a long, purposeful drink.

As you set it down you heard a familiar 'clang' followed by the slam of the bunker door.

Your heart jumped in your throat, and you ran for the stairs to meet them there.

There they were, tiredly plodding down the stairs when they saw you.

They didn't seem hurt, minus some cuts and bruises, and being sleep-deprived.

You opened your mouth to say you were sorry, when Sam read your mind.

"Don't be sorry." He said with bags under his eyes, pulling you into a huge bear hug. You squeezed him back tight, happy to have them all back.

Cas was next to him, who seemed peeved when he first laid his eyes on you, but then too pulled you in for a hug. "I would have done the same, (y/n)." He whispered to you before you pulled away.

Then Dean's eyes met your's, and he looked away at once. You winced, because truly that hurt. You didn't wait around for him to change his mind and say something. You told Cas and Sam you were glad they were home safe, and told them to get some rest. You willed your legs to walk to the bedroom that was now your's.

You were about to hit the pillow hard. You'd just changed into a t-shirt you found in the dresser drawer, and left your underwear on after you shed your bra. You hated those things.

In bed now and pulling the blanket over you, the doorknob turned.

On instinct you drew your pistol from underneath your pillow, when you put it back down with a huff when you saw who was there.

It was Dean; he let himself in, shutting and locking the door behind him angrily.

"Christ Dean, knock much?" You said to him, getting out of bed with annoyance. He looked like he was going to yell at you, punch something, or worse. But he didn't.

"You okay?" He asked you.

You eyed him curiously-there were circles under his eyes, and concern dreaded his features.

"Yeah…Are you?" You asked.

He approached you slowly now, step by heavy step. "What you did was selfish, (y/n)."

You narrowed your eyes at him, folding your arms defensively. "Oh, it was **selfish** trying to save my friends' lives? What would you have done, Dean?" You didn't raise your voice and tried to stay calm as he persistently closed the distance between the two of you.

He shrugged, looked down and licked his lips.

Dean was inches from you now, and you couldn't look away from him. His gaze darted from lips to your eyes, then to the t-shirt you were wearing, and back to your eyes. You opened your mouth to say something again, when he put his hands on your hips, his fingers there causing a familiar heat to spread through you like wildfire.

You were going to push him away, but when your hands met his on your hips they wouldn't budge-your body had betrayed you. Your breathing quickened, then staggered as you felt the tall sturdy dresser at your back now. Dean's body didn't stop moving, and he was now pressed firmly against yours. You could feel every breath he took; he smelled like the Impala, whiskey and loads of gunpowder, and the scent filling your nose nearly intoxicated you.

Just as you thought your knees might give way, tilted your chin up toward him. And you dared to open your eyes as he spoke.

"Look at me." His subtle and soft tone surprised you, and you obliged. "What would I have done, (y/n)? What would I have done if you left?"

Searching your eyes for an answer, you tried to reply with something, anything-until it didn't matter anymore. Dean's lips were on your's, soft and full just as before; he swept your (y/h/c) hair from your face, and let his hand clasp the back of your neck in a means to pull you further into the kiss.

He was too close for you to move your hands anywhere else but his chest, where you felt his heart racing. You only pulled away when you needed a breath, and as you did Dean lowered his gaze back to your attire with lustful eyes.

"You're wearing my t-shirt…" He said, an unearthly moan escaping him as he kissed you fervently once more. Now pinning you against the dresser as his hands shot back down to your waist and hips, he moved one leg between yours parting them slightly.  
You moaned at the sensation of his thigh grazing that ever-so-sensitive place through your panties, and Dean took advantage of your open mouth, his tongue diving in without hesitation.

Dean purposefully rocked his leg upward once more into your core, grabbing your hips and pulling you against him this time; you felt you were at his mercy. You couldn't help but move on him; it was almost primal. You could feel your thin underwear dampening, your muscles clenched and throbbed with need.

Dean removed his leg, eliciting a whimper to escape your mouth into his. Not leaving you wanting, he slowly slid his hand between your thighs, as if waiting for your objection. When you arched your back slightly into his grasp, his fingers grazed over your sopping panties, and you knew were done for. "Dean…" you practically begged for him to touch you.

He let his fingers dance once more over your sex. "Princess, you're soaking wet…" His mouth met your ear with a whisper full of dry need, as he dipped one finger past your folds through your panties. You nearly fell into him at the touch, and leaned your head back to catch your breath.

Dean's mouth then fervently went to work on your neck, pressing kisses all the way down to your collarbone.

You couldn't take it anymore. You pulled his face down to yours, and you looked into each other's eyes for any signs of protest to what was about to happen. You nodded. And you barely had the chance to do even that before Dean was pulling you away from the dresser and pushing you down on the bed.  
His body collided with yours again, now on top of you as his mouth crashing against yours once again.

His body pressed into you like he had nowhere else to go. His hands were everywhere-snaking under his t-shirt you were wearing, up and down your stomach, then over your breasts with feather-light touches.

 _'Take his clothes off for fuck's sake, woman!'_

You urged him up, and were able to get his shirt and belt off of him until he was pushing you back down again.

You couldn't help but let your legs fall apart around his, knowing what you needed.

He slipped his hand back down between your legs, making painfully slow circles on your clit. You moaned loudly, bucking your hips against his touch. Knowing you needed more, he pushed your panties to the side and inserted one finger at first, pumping in and out as your slick coated it thoroughly.

You felt like you were going to fall apart. Your eyes locked with his and stayed there, as he pressed a second finger through your folds, and this time pushing deeper into your sweet spot.

A gibberish of a curse word left your lips as he withdrew his fingers, and pulled your panties down your legs with them.

In a blur of clothes flying off, or more like being yanked off each other, you laid naked and wanting beneath him as his erection had sprung free.

 _'Jesusss Christ.'_

Dean put his hands on your knees, willing them to fall apart; you were completely and utterly vulnerable, and you were relishing in it.

"Dean, **please** …" You whimpered as he trailed kisses down your neck once more, and you felt the tip of him prying at your needy entrance.

"Sweetheart…son of a bitch…" Was all he could mutter back. Dean drove his hips forward slowly as his cock stretched you.

"(Y/n), you're so…" He bit his lip. "You're so tight baby. I'm gonna go slow.." You nodded in haste back to him, your face nuzzled in the crook of his neck.

Feeling him fill and stretch you slowly, the length of him reached it's hilt inside of you, and you gasped for air at the feeling of him.  
Your fingernails dug into his back for dear life, as he held fistfuls of the sheets on either side of you in attempt to restrain himself.

Dean stilled in you, giving you time to adjust to him; then placed a needy kiss on your lips before moving again.

He began slowly, followed by your legs wrapping around his hips. His hands massaged your breasts as his thrusts became more urgent, and you could tell he was still holding back.

"Dean… **please** -"

You didn't get the words out, before he knew exactly what you were pleading him for.

Dean withdrew, then thrust into you harder this time, drawing a cry of pleasure to escape you.

You felt the familiar tightening, and you knew you were going to let go soon. You moaned his name, and he groaned your's back through needy pants.

Slowing his pace suddenly, causing you to wonder what was wrong, he looked at you; not only with want, but with love. "I wanna see you come, sweetheart." He said, as if it were the most important thing in his life.

Staying inside of you as you melted at his touch, you met his gaze as he placed his hands on your knees once more, coaxing them to fall apart further. You moaned and let your head hit the pillow behind you as he buried himself deeper inside of you.

Your hips began meeting his thrusts, your juices coating his cock making it glimmer in the light as he drove in and out of you, harder and harder each time.

"Dean…!" Your hands grasped either sides of the pillow, as your pussy clenched and tightened around his thickness as your release neared.

The sound of your own moans and whimpers and Dean's own groans filled the room.

Thrust after harder thrust he hit your sweet spot. Then with a dangerous need in his voice, he whispered in your ear, "Come for me", and that was it. You writhed beneath him, until he held your hips still against the mattress as you both came undone together, your aching pussy clamping down hard around him as he spilled his warmth into you, filling you even more.

You desperately clung to each other as you rode out the intensity of your climaxes together. Dean leaned back down to you. Stroking your hair, he placed chaste kisses from your lips to your earlobe. "I was an idiot…" he whispered.

You shushed him, and pulled him back to your lips fervently.

The two of you laid there in the aftermath of what you'd just done to each other... You had pulled the blanket over you both, and you were wrapped in a pair of strong arms as you felt sleep overcome you.


	11. Furorem

__'There's someone…in…my…bed__ _.'_ You felt warm breath gently rustling your hair, then traveling down the back of your neck leaving a trail of goosebumps on your skin behind it.

Opening your eyes, everything from early that morning came rushing back to you. Entangled with both the bed sheet and Dean, you could feel his bare chest rising up and down against your shoulders. Realizing your hand was in enclosed in his, fingers interlaced, a tired smile awoke on your lips; sending a warmth to your cheeks, and you felt them turning rosy red.

 _'Wow…so this is how it feels to wake up with someone.'_

Quietly you tried to roll your body over to face him, trying not to wake him-it was odd to you, but you so badly wanted to look at him. You'd never seen him completely peaceful, and it drove your motive even more.

As you rolled your body toward him you were reminded that you both were still naked. You modestly held the bed sheet to your chest, as if he hadn't already seen everything underneath it (and more).

Laying your head back down on the pillow as you now faced him, you studied his features. Unlike Dean, you hadn't quite gotten into the habit of stealing glances at him when you thought he wasn't looking. Worried lines creased his face, making him all the more handsome in your eyes. His hair was a mess, tufts of it shooting upward and outward every which way. A smile you could barely tell was there played on his lips as he slept; and the smell of gunpowder and leather was still with him.

And then, to your dismay, he stirred.

A low rumble was stirring in his chest now, starting to wake. You felt his arm lift a little, then drape over your naked hip, pulling you closer to him softly.

 _'Crap. What if he knows I was staring at him sleep? He's gonna think I'm a creep…'_ You thought, as your closed your eyes, deciding to stop worrying for once and just enjoy this moment with him. The two of you had been either at odds or pining after each other since you met, and it felt good to just be on even ground with him.

"Mmmm…" A pleasure-filled groan came from Dean as his fingers began making tracks up and down your back.

 _'_ _ _My god! That feels incredible…'__

You moved closer to him, as if that were possible. "Mmm. Mornin' Princess…" Dean's husky morning voice came just above your forehead.

You smiled again as you lifted your eyes to see him. When he called you princess, it made you melt more and more each time; the familiar butterflies making your insides tense in excitement.

"Morning to you too…" You said, losing the rest of your words when his half-open eyes met yours. They were so green, and you don't think you'd ever seen someone's eyes smile before, but you were certain his were.

Dean's heavy arm lifted once more and came to rest on the side of your face. His thumb brushed small strokes back on forth on your cheek, and you knew you were probably blushing again.

"You are so damn beautiful…" He said, now pushing small strands of your (y/h/c) hair away from your forehead.

"I could say the same about you, Winchester." You said. At that Dean slowly closed the gap between your mouth and his, and you happily reciprocated.

 _'I could lay here all damn day with him.'_

Your kisses were lazy but meaningful, and Dean's free hand now made it's way back down your body-you flinched when his fingers grazed the side of your stomach, making him pull back a little with a comical grin.

"(Y/n), are you ticklish?" He raised his eyebrows at you in humor as your eyes widened. "Ah-no! No-I'm not." Dean's grin never left his face. "We'll see about that-some other time though…" Cutting his own words short, he kissed you again, his fingers now dancing their way to your upper thigh, then just below your ass.

Your kisses grew in intensity unexpectedly, when he gently hoisted your leg over his own, then lured your body further into his by the back of your knee.

As your bodies began writhing together in want again, there was a light knock at your door. You both froze and looked at each other with 'Oh shit, we've been caught' expressions. From behind the door came Sam's nervous voice. "Ah-hem…are-are you guys in there?"

You decided trying to play it off couldn't hurt. "Hey-yeah, I am-what's up?" Emphasis on the 'I'. _'_ _ _Self high five'__ _._

"Oh. Uh, Dean's not in there? I just wanted to ask him something." Sam said through the door.

"Oh, him! Nope, no he is not." You winced in mental anguish, and turned to Dean who was sarcastically giving you a thumbs up.

"I'll look around then, thanks (y/n)." Sam called as he walked away from the door. You didn't know, but Sam rolled his eyes then shook his head to himself grinning.

You both sighed. _'Whew…close one.'_

"Jesus (y/n), it's 3:00 o'clock." Dean rubbed his eyes as he checked the time on his discarded watch on the nightstand beside him.

You giggled a bit. "Well we didn't go to sleep until what-8ish this morning?"

"Shit-yeah you're right. So…coffee?"

You had dressed quickly as Dean had 'snuck' (childish, you knew) out of your room to his, and you made your way to the kitchen to brew some coffee.

Without Dean next to you distracting your train of thought, Crowley crept into your mind…then the Shape Shifter you had killed just months ago, who had practically tried to warn you that you didn't know the extent of what was coming for you. _'There's a price on your head…_ ' You shuddered at the memory of his voice, then at the memory of your machete slicing-

"I didn't realize a coffee pot could be so entertaining." Sam's voice sounded behind you, and you jumped a little and turned to face him. You hadn't realized you'd been staring at the percolating coffee for that long.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. You okay? I mean, other than the whole Kind of Hell thing. I know it's a lot." His brows furrowed in concern for you, studying your face as you looked at your bare feet, then back to him.

"No, I mean yes-I'm fine, thanks Sam. I'm just off a little I guess." You forced yourself to smile at him and made a show of visibly shaking off whatever had been plaguing your mind. "But, we do have a lot to talk about. Where's Cas?" You asked him, passing him a mug of steaming coffee.

"Hey thanks. Uh, library actually. Think he found something that could help you." He replied, his eyes tired with bags under them as if he hadn't slept at all.

You picked up the other two mugs of coffee and smiled at Sam again. "Let's get to it, then."

Castiel had in fact found something, the look in his eyes told you so. He asked you and Sam to sit, and asked where Dean was. "I don't know, haven't seen him yet today." Sam replied with a sigh. If he knew, at least he was hiding it well for your sake.

"I was talking to you (y/n)." Cas said, his blue eyes questioning you outright. "Me?" You sputtered over your coffee, practically spitting it back into the mug in your hand; sitting down nervously next to Sam at one of the several tables the wondrous library held. "I haven't seen him, Cas. I'm sure he's still asleep or something. What's the big deal?" _'_ _ _Hell yes. Answer a question with a question-you got this.'__

"Because you're lying, (y/n)." Cas stated matter-of-factly, squinting his eyes at you suspiciously. You opened your mouth to answer him, when Dean rounded the corner into the library, freshly dressed but still towel-drying his hair as he walked.

"Hey, couldn't find you guys-" He eyed the three of you immediately. Sam was practically pulling a muscle in his face as he tried his best not to smile, and Castiel was still looking at you like you'd just been caught with your hand in the cookie jar. "What's wrong?" Dean asked, looking to each of you.

"(Y/n) is lying about seeing you today, I don't understand." Dean's shoulders dropped as he plopped down in the chair beside you, and you rolled your shoulders back to ease the tension between them. Dean started to say something when Cas went on. "Is it because you didn't want us to know that you and Dean had intercourse last night?"

This time you **did** spit your coffee back out.

"Cas! You can't just blurt stuff out like that man, that's private! " Sam scolded him, but not angrily, especially because he was still holding back that sly grin of his own.

"If they didn't want us to know, maybe they shouldn't have been so _**vocal**_." Cas replied, reaching for a book across the table as if this were just another plain conversation.

 _'Kill me. Just kill me right here-I've lived long enough…'_

You buried your face in your hands as Dean's hand comfortingly patted your thigh, and you responded by clasping it in yours under the table, and you dared to uncover your beet-red face.

"Okay-change of subject, guys. Uh, tell us what ya found, Cas." Sam said, putting his very best serious face on as you mouthed the words 'thank you' to him.

"It's interesting, to say the least…" The Angel's brows furrowed as he concentrated on the page before him. "Apparently, there is an old spell, more like a ritual-it is said to have the power to reveal hidden or contained magic. It was used regularly by Witches, who mostly used it to hide dark objects, sometimes draw from their power as they needed it…" Your interest had peeked.

"But, would it work on people…?" You asked. _'Would I even want it to…?'_

Cas shook his head and licked his lips, not looking away from the book. "It has been used a few times by very powerful witches to control other witches…so yes, I'd say it's possible…" He pointed to something on the page, noting it to himself. "And there's a word here, _'_ _ _Furorem__ _'_ …meaning **'Unleash'** …" A chill went up your spine.

Sam's eyes narrowed in concentration. "Wait, is that Latin?" Cas nodded.

"Yes it is. But there's more…this explains **everything** …" His eyes turned to up to you. "This word-when it is used in conjunction with the spell, it is meant to be bound to something, leveraged if you might. So that way the magic, or power, can never be stolen or used by another. It can only be unleashed by whoever the object is bound to. And the word _'Furorem'_ , it acts as a sort of…'switch'. To turn it on and off."

You sat on the edge of your seat. This could be it, this could be your ticket to freedom.

"Son of a bitch." Dean said under his breath. "That's why Crowley wants (y/n). T-To siphon from her, or control the way she uses her power!" He hissed at the revelation as you started biting your nails.

 _'In other news, my life is_ ** _way_** _more fucked up than I thought…'_

Sam nodded in agreement, looking between the three of you. "That's why the demons didn't kill you when they had you, (y/n)…because they didn't know how to make your powers surface…"

"And that must be why Crowley just now came for me. He finally figured it out." You finished Sam's sentence in a hushed tone, your thoughts racing through your head trying to take it all in.

Dean released an exasperated sigh, squeezing your hand beneath the table calming your nerves. "So…what's next?" He asked Cas.

You interrupted him before he could answer. "We find ourselves an all-powerful Witch, that's what we do."

Dean's head swiveled to look at you with protest in his eyes. "(Y/n), we've gotta think this through-"

You shook your head. "There's no thinking about this for me, Dean. If I'm caught by Crowley with my pants down again, I'm gonna be his fucking puppet for the rest of my god damn life! And who knows who else-or **what** else knows about this too! I'm not taking any chances." Your words echoed through the library as if you'd just preached a sermon on fire, and they knew you were right.

You rubbed your hands together in thought for a moment, then clapped them together.

"So fuck it. Let's find ourselves a Witch, boys."


	12. Two Dogs, One Bone

All of you needed a mental break, and Dean went out to burgers and beer. You hadn't had a burger in so long…your mouth watered as your nose caught wind of it when he returned. The four of you had now gathered at the larger table in the main room of the bunker.

For several moments the only sounds being made were burger wrappers unfolding, beer bottles cracking, and pleasure-filled groans as all of you devoured your dinner. It was going to be a long night.

"So where do we find a Witch? You guys know any?" You asked, eagerly drinking down the cold beer in front of you.

Sam looked from Cas and Dean back to you. "Well…yeah we do, but I don't think we should trust Rowena with this…"

"But if she's powerful enough, isn't it worth a shot in this case?" You replied.

"Not when this particular Witch is Crowley's **Mother**..." Cas interjected, running a hand through his hair.

You held up your hand. "Hold up-the King of Hell has a **mother**? Wonder how the Holidays work with that…" You laughed to yourself, shaking your head in disbelief.

"Nah, they're not close, believe me. They're always tryin' to fuck each other over somehow." Dean said nonchalantly, cracking his second beer open.

You nearly choked. ' _That's it. Holy shit, we have our Witch._ ' You thought.

Glancing around at the three boys still indulging themselves loudly in their meal (if you'd call it that), none of them seemed to realize what Dean had just pointed out about Crowley and his Mother. Then Cas caught your gaze, your mouth agape as he squinted at you from across the table, very confused.

 _" **Guys**._ " You jerked them to attention so you could share your idea, and hoped to god they'd go for it.

Sam raised his eyebrows at you. "What is it, (y/n)?"

"Have you ever seen two dogs fight over a bone?" You asked the boys, looking to and from each of them as they looked around at each other, completely perplexed at your statement."Ughhh!" You ran a hand through your (y/h/c) hair.  
"Crowley and Rowena are the dogs-and I'm the bone!" You exclaimed, excited about your revelation and how it could help you.

You went on. "Rowena will be so much more interested in taking away one of her asshole son's playthings, than actually using me for her benefit. They'll _tear each other apart_ before they worry about me. Make sense?"

Sam smacked the table enthusiastically as he realized what you were suggesting. "(Y/n)…that's perfect! Rowena might actually go for this-"

Cas was definitely intrigued, but not enthusiastic. "-but what if she **does** want to use you (y/n)? What then?"

"If she wanted me, she would've found me by now, don't you think…?" You replied to him.

He tilted his head in a 'maybe' gesture, but didn't say anything back as he fiddled with the wrapper on his beer bottle that he hadn't drank yet.

"No…no this could really work-a Witch who we **know** can do this spell, and she'll be protecting (y/n) and her own ass from Crowley specifically…" Dean said, licking his lips as he you caught his eyes. "It's genius, (y/n)!"

You smiled, but then remembered there was a lot of work still to be done-including finding Rowena. "Well…how do we track her down?"

Sam smirked playfully and fished his cell phone out of his pocket.

 _'You've gotta be fucking kidding me.'_

Sam winked at you when he saw your face . "We call her."

"I friggin' **hate** Witches…" Dean complained, helping you stack and put the books away that the four of you had been ravaging through for days.

You rolled your eyes in annoyance. "We all know now, Dean. We heard you the first three times you said that!" You replied, wiping your hands on your jeans of all the dust they'd accrued from the books. You made a mental note to yourself that if you made it through this thing alive, you were hiring them a maid-you'd even pay for it yourself.

Sam had called Rowena, and you were all preparing for her arrival. He hadn't told her the details, not even about you-just that they needed help with a complicated spell for a case he and Dean were working. You commended him for playing it safe.  
He scurried off, mumbling something about 'hiding some dark artifacts, because Rowena has 'sticky fingers''.

Castiel was helping you and Dean in the library, keeping his thoughts to himself; and you weren't sure whether or not that was a good thing.

You climbed up the ladder to reshelf one of the intricate books you'd come to know very well. Looking down at Dean, you asked him to pass you another one while you were up there.

"Here ya go, princess." He said, placing his hand on the back of your thigh to steady you. He gave you a wink as you took it from his hands. But when your eyes lingered on each other's longer, you knew there were some things you wanted to say to him before things might get…well, complicated. Who knew what was going to happen after this spell was done…

You cleared your throat, put the book away and descended the ladder to stand next to Dean. "Hey, Cas…can we get a minute, please?" You smiled at him weakly, as he nodded understandingly back to you.

Now alone in the room, you hoisted yourself up to sit on the table behind you-and you were sure if Sam had seen you do that, you'd get yelled at for it. You weren't sure how to start this conversation with him...

Dean sighed, pursing his lips as he closed the gap between you two. "You sure about this?" He asked, coming to a standing halt just before your knees, and you were certain that smoldering gaze of his just might be the death of you one day.

You exhaled shakily as Dean rested his palms on either side of your thighs. "No, I'm not…but I don't know what else to do. I can't stay down in this bunker for the rest of my life hiding…I'm just afraid. I'm afraid I'm not gonna be the same after this."

Dean knew what you meant, and gently took your hand into one of his. "Listen, I haven't known you long, but I feel like I know you well. If there is **anyone** in the world that can take somethin' like this, my bet's on you. Every time." Looking up, you grinned at him, when he cleared his throat with something more on his mind.

"And uh…(y/n), I wanna ask you something. I mean, last night, this morning…it was-it was incredible. And it was more than just the…" He paused, and you finished his sentence for him. "Mind-blowing, hot and dirty sex?" You said with a wink, flashing your white teeth at him playfully.

Chuckling in agreement he continued. "Christ, it was **mind-blowing** …but yeah, (y/n)…you and I. Are we good?"

You knew this question was coming. Instantly recalling what Cas had told you about not letting him off the hook easily for what he'd done, it all seemed so minimal, so small compared to what was about to happen.

"Dean, the night I got taken I did something really, really terrible. I could've sworn I was **right**. I just knew I was…" You shook your head at the painful memory, of executing the Shape Shifters who wanted normal lives. "But when it was all said and done, I wasn't. And that night, seeing that look in your eyes…it was like I was looking in the mirror that night, all over again. That's why I forgave you, Dean. Because I know how it feels not knowing how to fix something."

His mouth was slightly parted, soaking in what you'd just said. His hand brushed a strand of hair from over your eye, then held you face gently. "Where have you been all this time, princess?" You shrugged your shoulders, and smiled softly at him.  
"You know you're gonna be fine, right?" Dean asked with a grave expression on his face.

"Yeah, I know." You replied, studying his features as best you could, as he moved in slowly to kiss you.

His lips lingered over yours for a moment, as if he were the savoring the feeling of having you so close. Memorizing this feeling with him, you felt the butterflies in your stomach once more, and you kissed him.

Still seated on the table with Dean standing before you, your motions together were meaningful and gratuitous, and you knew you wanted him closer. His rough, calloused hands left goosebumps on your skin as they roamed from your neck, shoulders, then to your hips. Filled with primal instinct, you slowly parted your knees as Dean moved forward between them closer to you; and grasping your hips firmly, he pulled you toward him to meet in the middle.

Your head angled upward to reach Dean's mouth, he pulled away and leaned into your neck; planting feather light kisses down to your collarbone, where his teeth grazed your skin. A low, wanton sigh left your lips as your pulse began to quicken with need.

His mouth was back on your's now, but with urgency. You grasped his shoulder, taking the opportunity to feel his flexing muscles beneath his shirt. Your legs wrapped around him securely now, he gripped your ass making you squeal a bit, pulling your hot core flush against his growing bulge.

"Sweetheart, the things you do to me…" Dean whispered between needy kisses, nearly panting with need.

The friction of his erection against your clitoris through your jeans was nearly unbearable, causing your insides to ache and throb.

His arm traveled behind your back, then up to the back of your head where he then fisted a handful of your (y/h/c) hair, gently tugging your head back to expose your neck to him. It was just the right amount of force, and it drew you to wishing he'd just nail you to this table, right here in the library.

"Fuck…Dean…not enough time…" You breathed between your heated moans of pleasure at the feeling of his mouth against your neck.

Abating the ferocious attack on your neck where he was leaving hot, open-mouthed kisses and soft bite marks, he let go of your hair. Meeting his eyes then, he whispered "Lay back" into your ear with that sensual tone of his…and Jesus! You almost fell apart right there, and he hadn't even touched you yet.

Before your head had even met the table, Dean quickly began unbuttoning your jeans, your legs still wrapped around his mid-section.

You gazed at him, and the look in your eyes must have told him just how on the edge you were.  
"I'll take care of you, princess…" He whispered, his fingers moving just beneath the hem of your unbuttoned jeans, tugging them down just over your ass.

His thumb moved over your clitoris over your black panties, and you wriggled beneath it at the touch. "Dean, please…please!"  
As you pleaded, he moved the fabric aside and slowly inserted a finger through your folds, nearly dripping with desire. You bit your lip until you thought it might bleed, doing your best to stay quiet-then remembering you hadn't locked the library door, the need for your release became much more urgent-you did NOT want to be caught doing this…

Then, a second finger joined the first, and your eyes flew open and back to Dean's; he looked like he was about to eat you for dinner.

He pumped his fingers in and out of you, grazing then hitting that sweet spot every time. "(Y/n), you're so wet baby…wanna taste you so bad…" He watched as he was making you come undone before him, and gave in to his temptation; withdrawing his fingers, sucking your juices from each of them while a deep, low growl formed in his throat.

 _'Ohhh fuck meeee he just did that-I'm never gonna leave this man…'_

You moaned, reaching to touch yourself as you saw him taste you on his fingers, but he stopped you short. That was his job, and he wanted to finish it.

Dean reinserted his fingers making your mouth fall open into a silent 'O'. Harder and fervently, his fingers were fucking you in all the right ways; moving in a 'come here' motion against your G-Spot. "Come for me, (y/n)."

He did it with those words again…as your walls collapsed around his fingers still moving inside of you, you cried out his name. Your hips bucked up toward his hand as you came, arching your back, riding waves of the intensity.

Dean waited several moments for you to come back down, then withdrew his fingers from you, licking and sucking them clean one last time.

"That better, sweetheart?…" Dean panted, a boyish "oh yes I did" grin on his face. You covered your face with your hands, practically giggling. "You've got no idea…and I can't believe we just did that." You laughed.

And just when you thought you'd gotten away clean this time, a knock at the door sounded, followed by it creaking open. Knowing you most certainly couldn't walk right now, you settled for quickly scurrying your jeans back up over your ass and sitting up.

"You guys uh, decent? Rowena's almost here." Sam said from the doorway. He eyed the two of you knowingly, but thankfully didn't say anything.

You grimaced at the fact that he knew exactly what you and Dean were doing. "Be right there…" Dean replied.

"Was I loud again?!" You half-yell half-whisper to Dean as he helped you down.

He held you by the shoulders, his hands caressing them. "You were, but princess, the sounds that you make…" He licked his lips, winking at you, gaining a 'don't you dare' glance from you.

You buttoned your jeans, and Dean placed his hand on the small of your back as you started for the door. "Next time I'm loud, please do my ego a favor, and shove a pillow over my face, gag me, cover my mouth or something-okay?" Realizing what you'd just said Dean's eyes darkened at you and stopped you both from walking.

"No deal, princess…" He leaned in close to whisper in your ear. "…because I **love** hearing you scream my name."


	13. I'll Prove That I'm Right

' _Stay calm. Maybe Rowena will be super on board with helping you…and won't want anything in return…'_ You paced in front of your bed, alone with your thoughts.

 _'But what if she doesn't…_ ' You exhaled a sigh of frustration, physically shaking your shoulders and arms out in an attempt to shake all the bad feelings off of you.

 _'This is insane-I am insane.'_

Your bedroom door was open, and you now noticed Castiel standing there in the doorway. "(Y/n), Rowena is here."

Pursing your lips you stare at your feet, fidgeting with the flimsy fabric of the dark blue t-shirt you were wearing. It complimented your (y/e/c) eyes making them pop through your long lashes, and it hugged your curves in all the right places.

"Okay. Show time…" You said to Cas, doing your best not to look scared in front of him. He moved out of the way, a grim expression plaguing his kind features. Stopping you in your tracks, he wrapped his cold hand around your forearm. "(Y/n), you don't have to do this."

Your smiling facade shattered at his words, and you swore that you felt tears welling in your eyes. You were scared. "You know I do, Cas." You brought your hand to his and gave it a squeeze, letting him know that you were okay with it.

"Whatever happens today, (y/n), I've…" He paused, his blue eyes were inwardly searching for the right words to say to you. "…I've got your back." Cas smiled proudly at the phrase he so smoothly used, which made one play on your lips as well.

"Thanks, Cas." With that, you turned and wrapped your arms beneath his, and he returned the hug stiffly, but you knew he meant well.

You heard a woman's thick, Scottish accent reverberating through the corridor and the main room of the bunker. _'She doesn't sound so bad…'_ You listened for a moment before entering, and could hear Sam speaking with her with Dean at his side.

"…So listen Rowena, we didn't exactly divulge everything to you over the phone." Sam said, followed by a silent pause. "Someone really, really needs your help-you're pretty much our only shot at this, and we need to know we can trust you."

"Samuel…quite frankly, I'm hurt!" You heard Rowena mew, her accent rolling the words off her tongue eloquently. _'Oh god, she's a drama queen. Just what we need.'_

She continued. "Just get it over with, tell me what you need-" She stopped short, seeing you emerge from around the corner.

You approached her slowly as Sam and Dean practically held their breath, and Castiel followed behind you. The wonder on her face proved you right; she already knew about you, and she knew what you were. You instantly admired her beauty. Witch or not, she was truly gorgeous. Her long red hair shined and bounced off her shoulders and down her back, her bright red lips agape at the sight you. She took short strides toward you, her legs held captive by the confines of her tight, black floor length dress that hugged her body sensually.

"Oh…my-my heavens!" She gasped, touching her chest in surprise. Looking behind her between Sam and Dean, she turned back to you, now only feet away.

"Well, look at you, lass!" Rowena said, smiling with kind eyes, obviously pleased to meet you.  
"I've heard so many things about you…" Cautiously, as if she were trying to tame a wild stallion, she reached for your hand and took your's softly; like she was afraid you'd break.

"I'm sure you have…I met your son a few days ago. He was, well…he was an **asshole** , to be honest." You mused, withdrawing your hand from her as you remembered to be cautious.

Rowena rolled her eyes in shame. "Ughh, Fergus! I must apologize for him, dear…he has no respect for those more, well- **gifted** than him…" She said. "My loaf of a boy is nothing but a _bully_ …" She spat.

 _'If she really feels that way, we'll get along just fine.'_

You raised your eyebrows at her, as she straightened, regaining her composure. "In my opinion you should bend him over your knee and whoop his ass, but-I'm not a Mom, so I wouldn't really know…" Rowena giggled at your statement generically, and you went on.

"I need you to do a spell for me. It's old, but it'll work-" You paused, Rowena's face fell into a more serious position as she listened.

"-The spell and I need to be forgotten when you leave here. So, can you help me?" You asked.

She smiled reassuringly at you, and somehow that comforted you. "My sweet lass, of **course** I'll help you-I'd be honored…" Rowena replied, her bright eyes gleaming with excitement.

' _She didn't answer my question'._

"But can I **trust** you?" You asked her again, a more sinister glare passing from you to her.

Straightening, she threw all theatrics aside for a moment and came closer, as if only meaning for you to hear what she was about to say. "My son cannot have that much power…he breaks everything he touches-you deserve your free will, dear. You can trust me."

You searched her eyes for hints of betrayal, and found none. You were unsure, knowing she could still be pumping you full of bullshit-but it was good enough for you, because it was all you had.

"Okay. I'm (y/n), pleased to meet you, Rowena." You smiled kindly at her, and extended your hand out to her offering a handshake.

She took your hand in both hers. "Pleased to meet you, (y/n)." She quilled her lips in a grin, and looked at you with wonder.

Cas nodded to Dean and Sam from behind you like he was your body guard, telling them it was alright to move forward with the plan. Sam hesitantly passed the book containing the spell work to a very humbled Rowena, who hugged it tightly to her chest as if her life depended on this very moment-and in your eyes, it did.

"Don't make me regret this, Rowena."

"Wonderful! I think we're nearly ready, mah dear…" Rowena clapped her hands together enthusiastically, her long red nails and many flamboyant Rings clicking and clanging together.

Explaining the spell to her and why you needed her to perform it proved simple enough; she definitely impressed you with her expertise on all things 'Witchy', but after all, that's what she was.

When she learned you didn't know how to use or access any of your unusual abilities and powers yet, she seemed to relax a bit, and went a little easier on the flattery-you were so relieved, actually. Rowena acted like you would smite her where she stood if she didn't curtsy every time you glanced at her; it got to be extremely exhausting.

It'd taken you all nearly three hours to collect all of the ingredients, items, and miscellaneous items Rowena had instructed that she needed (miscellaneous meaning, blood and ancient mummified body parts that belonged to god knew what).

You, Sam, Cas and Dean were now gathered around the beautifully illuminated mapped table in the bunker. Rowena was putting a few finishing touches on her Altar (she insisted personalization made all the difference).

"Now, we have a bit to discuss before beginning." Rowena announced, the four of you growing solemnly silent.

She sighed heavily, like she needed to get something off her chest. "There are a few more…essential things that need to be done, first."

"Like telling me how exactly this thing is gonna work?" You asked, folding your arms across your chest.

Rowena looked at you. "Yes, dear. Exactly. Take a seat won't you all? This won't be but a wee minute…I hope." Her thick accent coated her words, and you had to admit it-she was kind of growing on you.

You all took a seat around the table, along with Rowena, and it was then that you noticed just how dubious this scene would look to someone if they didn't know all of you. Candles, old books, old dead things and diabolical looking objects littered the table; the glow of candle-light and of the table the only sources of illumination on your faces. Sam and Dean sat on either side of you, and Castiel next to Rowena. To you, he looked like he was a cat ready to pounce on it's mouse if it dared make a wrong move.

"Damn, just call us the 'Council of Elrond'." You said sarcastically, earning a chuckle and a laugh from Sam.

"Who the hell's Elrond?" Dean whispered to himself.

Rowena began with the details of the spell just as you were beginning to get comfortable, of course…

"Now, we all know that this spell is much more than a spell…it's more akin to a ritual. So when the ancients used this spell to draw from, or control their objects, they had to be _bound_ to them first." She paused, exhaling quietly and gazing at you with almost pity. "And, unfortunately my dear (y/n), in this case **you** are the object. And you **must** be bound to someone…"

You held up your hands in protest. "Wai-wait. Okay I heard Cas when he was explaining it, even that part-but does that mean that I won't be able to control **when** I use my power?" Your voice was rising in anger. But even observing your distress, Rowena nodded.

"Yes, (y/n)…that's why you need to choose someone you can **trust**. That's when the trigger word, 'Furorem' comes to play…the person you're bound to may use this word to, 'open the gates' so to speak, as well as closing them." Her eyes bore into your's; you hated the way she looked at you just then. Like you were a bird trapped in a cage, and she had no power to save you.

"So…basically you're telling me, same deal I'd have with your son-but with someone on **my** side of the court, right?" You scoffed, and vicious tears threatened to pool over your eyes as you realized this was your fate; to always be tied down.

Sam put his hand on your back, proving to be of little, but much appreciated comfort. "But will that person have to use the trigger word each time she uses them?" Sam asked Rowena, very confused-this was a lot to take in, even for someone of his high caliber.

Rowena's face lightened a bit, ready to prove helpful this time. "No!" She shook her head smiling. "See, think of it as a light switch-if it's turned on, it's on until you flick it off-and vis versa."

Your heart grew a bit lighter realizing you wouldn't have to tether a 'trigger word buddy' to your ass the rest of your life.

 _'How the hell do I choose someone?'_

Rowena cleared her throat, tossing one of her bouncy red curls over her shoulder. She opened her hands, gesturing at the lot of you before her. "The person you choose **will** have to take part in this ritual with you, of course…and I assume it would have to be one of the boys?" She said, suggestively giving you a wink, to which you rolled your eyes.

' _News update: My. Life. Fucking. Blows.'_

Dean's eyebrows rose at the mention of the ritual again. "And, what exactly **is** the ritual, Rowena? 'Cause I can't make heads or tails of most of this creepy crap ya got scattered all over my table…" He asked, giving a disgusted look over the table at her.

She sneered at him, and didn't hesitate to respond. She acted like that one 'know-it-all' kid that everyone has in their class at some point, just waiting to give the answer to everything. "The actual bonding portion of the ritual is the simplest part; binding your blood-" She held up a bowl, dramatically showcasing it to you, "-then binding your bodies-easy stuff!"

 _'What-did she say binding our **bodies**?'_

"Wait-" Dean held his finger up. "Binding **bodies**? How the hell do you do that?"

Rowena glanced nervously between you and the boys, a nervous giggle erupting from her. "My god, with **sex** , of course! How else, Winchester?!" And even in the graveness of your predicament at hand, you were cracking up on the inside at the way she said 'Winchester' with her accent; coming out 'Ween-chase-tah'. It was adorable.

Dean held his hands up defensively, shut his mouth and sat back in the chair; and you pretended not to notice the glance he gave you.

' _He's nervous at the thought I won't choose him-and that I'll be screwing either Cas or his brother…'_ You inwardly squirmed.

"Are you alright, (y/n)? Looks like you're struggling a wee bit…" Rowena said. She was testing your nerves now, most definitely. You stood up, needing to stretch your legs.

"I'm fine." Was all you said back, and you started pacing a few steps back and forth.

"Can…I make a suggestion dear?" Rowena asked you, a pained 'I'm scared to say this' expression on her face.

You waved your hand at her, motioning for her to suggest away-nothing could get worse than it already was, right?

"I suggest you choose the Angel…" You stopped dead in your tracks. "I-It's just…from a Witch's standpoint, it's the smartest choice-he's powerful, immortal-" Castiel interrupted her.

"No. (Y/n), I'm not a wise choice. I'm not as powerful as I once was…" His voice trailed off, and you and Cas shared an almost heated gaze, and you looked away to Dean; who kept his eyes on his fidgeting hands as he ground his teeth. And silently, you applauded him for keeping his composure.

Rowena clicked her tongue and pointed her finger at Castiel. "Castiel, don't let your **feelings** for her sway your participation."

' _Come the fuck again?'_ Your mouth went dry, seeing Dean and Cas turn their focus from you to each other, Dean's jaw clenching even more. _'Did she just say Cas has fucking **feelings** for me?'_

"What the **hell** do you mean?" You said to Rowena, but you were looking at Castiel for an answer.

Dean sat up straight as a board, the testosterone oozing off of him. ' _Ohhh shit.'_

"Yeah Cas, what the hell **is** she talkin' about?" Dean asked him, but it was more of a dare.

What made it worse, is that Castiel didn't object. He shifted uncomfortably a few times, but didn't say anything…he had 'I'm guilty' written all over him.

Sam looked like he was about to be stuck in the middle of the battlefield, when he stood up. "Okay, that's **enough** , EVERYONE!" He commanded, his voice echoing through the room making you and Rowena flinch. Sam pointed at you. "This is **(Y/n)'s** decision, and she is the **only** one who gets to make it-got it?!"

Rowena raised her brows and gleamed at Sam like he was eye candy.

Dean and Cas joined the rest of you standing, mumbling 'Got it', 'Of course', and 'Proceed' under their breaths.

The tension in the room was palpable; you needed to get this over with, and fast.

You joined Rowena by the Altar nervously. "Look, I've made a decision either way…and I choose Dean." You said simply. _'There. Donesky. Easy schmeezy.'_

Rowena nodded happily to you, standing and facing her Altar. "Ahhh…I see. Makes sense…I could sense the attraction between you two the moment I saw you together…Now, let's get to it, shall we?" You silently thanked her for not making any remarks; as well as being the 'bubbly one' in the room. It certainly made things easier.

Just as Rowena opened her mouth to provide you and Dean with the next set of instructions, Dean rose his hand like the shy kid in class.

Rowena squeezed her eyes shut in frustration, muttering something under her breath (probably curse words), then smiled through her clenched teeth and pointed to Dean. " **Yes, Dean?** "

Looking somewhat offended, he looked from her to you. "(Y/n), can I talk to you-in private? It'll be quick, I swear."  
Rubbing your eyes, you nodded. "Yeah, of course."

Dean led you into the kitchen, where he stood before you, all puppy-dog eyes.

"(Y/n), I'm **overjoyed** that you wanna trust me with this. But I wanna make _**damn sure**_ that it's not because of…our relationship." Christ, what a guy-he just used the 'R' word.

'Wait-are we in a **relationship**?'

He continued. "'Cause this is the only time I would ever put my feelings for you aside, and be _sort of_ okay with you sleeping with another guy."

You chewed over what he just said. He was willing to put all things aside-feelings, ego, possession- to make sure you got what you needed. You smiled. That was the nail in the coffin; you knew you made the right choice.

You reached out for his hand, lacing your fingers with his. "Dean…the fact that you'd be okay with me choosing any one other than you, proves that I'm right."

He shook his head. "No, (y/n) what if I screw up? What if-" You put your finger to his lips, exhausted, but grateful for him caring that much.

"Dean, if there's anyone that can do this for me, my bet's on **you** -everytime."

He smirked, laughing a bit at your statement. "Don't steal my lines, sweetheart."

" _ **Finally!**_ " Rowena exclaimed, standing and scuttling her way to you in her loud heels."Please tell me, are we clear for takeoff?" She asked you.

"Illuminate the seatbelt signs, Cap'n." You replied, giving her a tired wink.

"That's mah girl."

And so it began.

Rowena held a match between her slender fingers, and as she lit the contents of the first bowl on her Altar, you watched as the erupting flames illuminated Dean's face as he stood on the other side of Rowena. You could tell he was fuming at Cas, and you'd have to face that sooner or later. But as he caught your eyes, his gaze softened on you and smiled slightly.

"Will I feel anything?" You quietly asked Rowena as she prepared to start the spell.

She took your hand into her's carefully, and gave you a reassuring smile. "You will…after you're completely bound, lass-and it will be **amazing**." And you believed her.

You suddenly weren't sure why the boys disliked her so much, and hoped she didn't give you a reason to feel the same way about her.

She began chanting words you'd never begin to know the meaning of. Her eyes closed, she held both you and Dean's hand in her's, her head facing upward toward the ceiling. You looked to Cas and Sam, who both gave you encouraging smiles, and you hoped you were doing the right thing.

'I _'m doing the right thing. I'm okay, this will **all be okay…** '_

Suddenly, Rowena's gibberish chants grew louder, bellowing and bouncing off the walls. The second bowl on the altar was brought to life by an unseen force, as it sparked with luring colors within it's flame. The smell of rotten things and herbs burning filled your nose, and the heat of the flames this close to you made you hope you still had your eyebrows when this was all over.

' _I am out of my god damned mind.'_

Your attention caught by the open flames, Rowena squeezed your hand. "Ready?" She said, now holding an ominous looking dagger in her hand where she'd previously held Dean's.

Swallowing hard, you nodded 'Yes'. Holding your open hand over the third bowl on the Altar, the tiny hairs on the back of your neck began to stand as she started to chant again.  
Without hesitation, she pressed the dagger into your palm, making you wince.

' _Yep. It may be old, but that son of a bitch is sharp.'_

Dragging it as painfully slow as she could have across your palm, you couldn't help but watch as your dark crimson blood left your body, draining on top of the ingredients beneath it. Dean's concerned face caught you, and you gave him a wink to let him know you were doing okay. He licked his lips and watched Rowena with scrutiny, like he was just waiting for her to try something fishy.

"Dean?" Rowena took Dean's hand now, providing him the same treatment she'd given you with the dagger. You grasped your hand as it still bled badly, and Cas appeared at your side out of nowhere yielding a bandage and a whiskey bottle. Smiling at him gratefully, you whispered thank you to him, as not to disrupt Rowena's spell work. He took your hand in his gently, pouring some of the whiskey over it then immediately wrapping it with the bandage.

Before he walked away, you looked up into his eyes, and he looked away as if he was ashamed of himself. Even with everything else around you happening, you worried about him..and the most fucked up part was that for some reason, you blamed yourself.

Your thoughts were torn from you then as Rowena lit the third bowl, finished with Dean now, as she took both your bloodied and throbbing hands into hers once more. Her chants grew louder again, and the bowls began to tremble like they were afraid. The fires in each of them quaked and danced, drawing you in once more. And then you heard that word-' _Furorem'_ -roll off Rowena's tongue as she came to a close, and you knew it was almost finished.

 _'Unleash…'_

The flames died suddenly as if commanded by God himself, and Rowena opened her eyes. Blinking a few times coming out of whatever 'Witchy' state she'd just been in, she glanced between you and Dean and gave you both a proud grin.

"Oh my…. **I've done it!** " She exclaimed, elated that she was successful with such old, intricate magic.  
"My job's done, you two. Now run along and get 'busy', you don't have much time!" She mewed excitedly, batting at the smoke lingering in the air around her the flames and scorching materials had left behind.

You exhaled sharply. "It's over? That's it?" You asked, simultaneously excited, relieved, and freaked the fuck out.

Dean leaned in to listen.

"No, it's not lass. You and your Winchester friend here need to 'consummate' the bond-now go! We're very limited on time." She said, practically pushing you and Dean out of the room.

"Why are we limited on time? How much do we have?" Dean asked quickly.

She rolled her large green eyes at him. "Because, you doof! (Y/n) will be thrown into a savage, ancient animalistic 'heat' if this bond isn't consummated, and in less than **thirty minutes**. Now go!"

She had you at animalistic, and Dean took your hand fast and led you out of the room.

 _'No pressure Dean…'_

You could feel it the moment Dean slammed the bedroom door behind you, pushing you against it eagerly. You felt hot, then cold, as Dean was doing his damnedest to prepare you and not rush; even though you both knew you had to. He was kissing, nipping your neck; his hands were everywhere on you, as you felt a surge move within you like you'd never felt before. You felt…foreign, as if someone had just hit your 'reset' button.

When Dean noticed your trance-like state, he stopped immediately. "You okay, (Y/n)?" Dean grabbed your face, studying your eyes earnestly. You nodded quickly, breathless, but not only from arousal. You couldn't think of the words to say, it was as if you were stuck in an emotionless limbo.

Dean's eyes grew wide and worried, his grasp on your face shifting your focus to look at him. "(Y/n)! Baby, tell me you're with me!" His eyes were ridden with fear; and as you looked into them, you felt something inside of you click. To you, it felt like a rubber band snapping your wrist, or hands clapping in front of your face.

Nearly every cell in your body wanted him in that moment…it was the most pure thing you'd ever felt-even though the need, the feeling, was sensual in every way, it was there. The truth was, you'd been right-Dean was the right choice, and you wanted him-with a force behind you that drove that want to primal extremism.

You still looked into his eyes, and realized you should probably answer him. "Dean…I-I can **feel it**." You nearly whispered into his lips, your words laced with greed for him.

Dean's leveled with your's on a whole new level; like you were his prey, and he'd finally caught you.

"I feel it too, (y/n)." Was all Dean could restrain himself long enough to say as his mouth collided with your's, slamming you back against the door again, hard. If you'd been with anyone else just then, you'd have killed them for handling you that hard. But with Dean in this moment, you needed it this way…needed **him** this way-dominant, claiming, possessive-something inside you knew he was guiding you. And you thought it was the sexiest thing you'd ever seen.

Your mouths devoured each other urgently, your tongues warring against each other for dominance, his teeth biting your lower lip drawing it into his mouth.

Effortlessly, Dean lifted you from the floor as you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, your heated embrace never wavering.

The two of you dropped onto the bed together. Dean was on top of you, staring into your (y/e/c) eyes with that same intensity his had just moments ago, making fast work of removing your jeans.

He threw them down to the ground as if it were the jeans' fault for separating him from where he needed to be so badly. You sat up toward him, reaching for the hem of his shirt, giving into your desperation for him. Bur re-asserting himself, he had your hands pinned on either side of your head against the bed before you even knew how they got there. "Dean… _please! **Fuck, I need this**!_!" You cried, wriggling beneath his hold as his body now pressed against you again with force, making your skin prickle with electricity.

He didn't say anything back, too busy seizing your pesky t-shirt (damn it for being in the way, too), pulling it over your head rapidly. And in several fistfuls of clothes, curse words and moans later, you both were finally set free from the confines of your clothes (some made it through the battle, other articles were torn off).

At the sight of you beneath him naked, breathless and wanting, Dean withdrew himself from you momentarily. "You are so fucking perfect, princess…" His low grating tone erupted something inside of you, prompting you to loll your head back into the pillow beneath you, squeezing your eyes shut.

He knelt between your legs, and you felt his hands on your knees.

 _'Yes! Pleeeaase just fuck me already….'_

Dean's fingers then lightly caressed the insides of your thighs, meandering their way closer and closer to your core. "Sweetheart, I wanna see you…" You opened your eyes as he convinced your legs to part a bit more for him, granting him the view he craved. Reaching for you, you his thumb played your clitoris in leisurely circles, watching gasp and moan at the long-awaited contact.

Then as quickly as he'd touched you, his hand was gone-your eyes flew open at feeling him scooting down the bed. You eyed him down your own bare body, as he started kissing his way down the inside of your right thigh, his left hand massaging and caressing it's way down the other.

Just when you thought you couldn't take the suspense any longer, you felt his mouth envelop your clit; sucking it hard into his mouth at first, then easing the bundle of nerves with gentle flicks of his tongue. You fisted handfuls of the pillow beneath your head, wanton whimpers and moans leaving your lips. You felt him speak against your throbbing sex, "Jesus, you're fucking soaked baby…", followed by a long lick of his hot tongue over your glossy-wet folds. You screamed his name, as he began a relentless battle of wills, with his mouth as his weapon.

Dean's thumb pressed into your clit again, as his tongue lapped up your juices ravenously delving deeper and deeper past your entrance with each pass. You were writhing against his mouth enclosing you, now grasping onto the back of his head, entangling your fingers in his hair.

As you nearly fell apart, you writhed and started to move against his mouth in need of more contact. He repositioned his forearm just above your pelvic bone, pressing down firmly to keep you still.

"I'm gonna…Dean!-I'm.." Your words were gibberish falling out of your mouth now.

Dean groaned into you at the sound of your voice like that; he knew how close you were. His tongue worked more magic over your aching pussy, then your clit once more as he drove two fingers into you at once; your walls came crashing down around them as they pulsated into your G-Spot over and over. Your toes curling and the black spots you were seeing caused your mouth to fall open, along with your screams.

Dean's mouth was back on your's before you could say 'You eat pussy like a rockstar'. His lips were wet with your slick, and you tasted yourself on his tongue as his hands paid attention to your breasts; massaging them, then brushing his thumb over your hard nipple just to multiply your pleasure.

Your hands were roaming down and up his sculpted back, then through his hair. When you felt his member press hard against your pelvis you knew it was time, because you were running out of it.

You both paused and scanned each other's eyes. "(Y/n), baby you gotta tell me one more time that you want this…'cause I won't be able to stop…I-I can feel it." Dean's words weighed heavy, but his eyes told the truth. "I want this Dean…plea-"

Dean's vital need had his hard member pressing past your entrance, not forcefully but with dominance, as your eyes stayed locked on his. Buried to the hilt inside of you, both of you breathless, he kissed you and started to move once more.

Dean drove into you, purposefully and strong; your fingernails made beds in his back, while he buried his face in the crook of your neck, sucking gently, then nipping at your collarbone as means to contain himself. You heard Dean's groans about how tight you were, his words fading with your cries of pleasure.

Moving deeper and harder with each thrust, you felt your climax building again, the familiar coil inside springing back to life. "Dean! Jesus christ…I'm close-" At your words, Dean gently but hastily pulled out of you, earning a confused 'I'll kill you' look from you. Seamlessly and with skill, he pulled you up to your knees by your forearm and whirled you around to face away from him.

Urging you to your hands and knees, he tugged your hips back toward him as you felt his throbbing length at your entrance again.

Dean drove into your throbbing pussy with authority this time, gripping your hips holding them in place. Your breasts swayed with each of his demanding thrusts you met. You arched your back downward in pleasure so that your ass tilted up, wanting to give Dean a better angle to push further into you.

 _'Hottest. Sex. Ever.'_

" **(Y/n)..Fuck** -!" Dean bellowing out your name left you breathless. His hard member filled and stretched your drenched sex, hitting that sweet spot just right.

Dean plunged himself into you at a relentless pace; and just when you thought he might fuck you right in half, your muscles tightened. They clenched down hard around his cock as he drove into you…and you'd be damned if it weren't the best thing you'd ever felt.

Then, gripping your hips hard, he pulled you back into him. The sensation of him jerking, then filling you with his warm seed drove your climax over the edge a second time. You collapsed on the bed with him beside you-and still filling you, your bodies continued to writhe together to come down off the edge.

Your bodies entangled and kissing each other softly now, you knew neither of you wanted this to end-but it did, as a sudden and unnatural sleep fell on you both.


	14. Unleash

"Why the hell are they **still sleeping,** Rowena?!" Sam screamed at Rowena. He had caved, ultimately giving in to the fear that had hold of him.

Having just cracked your bedroom door to look in on you and Dean with Castiel and the Witch behind him, he at least kept the arguing in the hallway.

Rowena recoiled at Sam's sudden outburst toward her. "Samuel, I told you! I **don't know…!** " Her fists were clenched at her sides in desperation. "I'm sure it's just the toll the ritual took on them-" She gestured toward your bedroom door. "They're fine! Sleeping like wee babes…they'll awake soon enough, I'm sure of it." She finished with a confident smile.

Sam shook his head, running his hand through his hair. His chest was heaving with anxiety and anger at the situation. Dean and yourself had now been asleep for 13 hours straight; and Castiel and Sam were beginning to come unhinged. An hour before this, Castiel had even gone as far as brandishing his Angel Blade to Rowena's throat, accusing her of some wrongdoing. But, according to her, this was 'normal'.

"We will wait _one_ more hour, and not a second longer. If they don't wake by then, you will do something about it." Castiel's voice had grown deeper, laced with threat.

Rowena roller her eyes with vexation. "And what do you suppose I do about it, Angel? This is the _spell_! We can't undo it!" She yelled back at Cas.

Sam sighed, keeping his composure now. "No-we can't undo it, but you are _the most powerful_ Witch we know of; I know you can do **something** ."

Rowena nodded, the hint of flattery from Sam obviously stroking her ego as she held her head a bit higher. "I'll start looking." She winked at him.

*  
 **Voices.**

You could hear them talking, yelling; but you didn't know whose they were. Everything felt fuzzy…similar to waking half-way during a dream, and being self-aware.

Then as quickly as you heard them, the voices were gone, and you felt someone beside you. "(Y/n)?"

Then, someone shaking your shoulder gently, brushing your hair away from your face.

"(Y/n), wake up sweetheart…"

' _Dean_.'

Your eyes fluttered open, peeking through thick lashes at the man before you through barely opened eyes. Confirming what you already knew-that Dean was beside you-you let your eyes fall shut again with fatigue, but remained awake.

"Mornin', sunshine." Dean's voice was gravelly with sleep.

Still so close to you, Dean was propped up on his elbow on his side, just grinning at you as he brushed your hair back out of your face.

"Hi." You whispered, smiling with ease with your eyes still closed.

"You feelin' okay…?" Dean asked you, testing the waters, hoping with all his might for a win.

"I'm tired…" You spoke. Your usual soft voice was raspy, a parting gift from your very vocal experience the night before.

"I know…me too. But, I think a few people are waiting on us out there…" Dean said, laying back down and drinking in the sight of you.

Then, you felt his lips on your forehead, as they made their way to yours. It was laggard and purposeful, and he held your face in his hand as he pulled away.

 _'Uggghh. I have to get up.'_

"Time to face the music, sweetheart. You with me?" Dean spoke, more awake now.

"Through hell and high water, handsome…" And at last, you opened your eyes to meet his. They were different to you, gleaming with a spark you hadn't seen before. But so was… **everything**.

Your eyes widened and you gasped, bolting upright holding the sheet to your chest. Your (y/e/c) eyes scanned over the room, soaking in what you saw.

"(Y/n)? Baby what's wrong?" Dean's hand was on your back as your mouth hung open in awe. You were gawking at the ceiling, the walls, the dresser; and finally Dean.

"(Y/n) talk to me, please! What the hell's wrong?!" His voice rose with panic, and you were snapped out of examining the change around you.

You exhaled sharply, an emotional grin erupting on your face as you look at Dean.

"Dean- my god, it's… _you're_ …" You had to blink a few times, placing your hand on Dean's cheek to make sure this was real. "…everything's beautiful…I-I can see **everything** Dean! It's like-jesus, wha-what is this?" You were looking at everything, your hands, Dean's chest, the sheets-Dean's face fell into a quick confusion at your actions.

"W-What do you see, (Y/n)?" He asked, concern in his voice.

You turned your gaze back to him, your eyes glazed with joy. "Dean, it's like I'm seeing colors for the first time."

Dean cocked his head in question, his hand grasping your shoulder like you'd disappear. "B-But you're okay…right? Nothin' hurts, no weird-"

And then you kissed him. You just had to, you had to know if he tasted different. "You even _taste_ different!" You reared back on your heels, clutching the sheet still, barely covering your naked form.

 _'Oh-I should answer him. Christ this is weird…but it's incredible.'_

"Dean, baby I'm fine. I'm great…this…" Your head swiveled about, looking at everything one more time. "… _this_ is amazing Dean."

 _'Why the hell is he looking at me like that?'_

Dean couldn't help but worry. But even as he did, the pleasure in his eyes at seeing you this happy- this excited about something -couldn't be hidden if he tried. You didn't know it then, but it was love you saw in his eyes.

"Should I get Rowena?" He asked you, and you shook your head. "No I'm fine…I promise." You pressed your lips together in a reassuring smile. "C'mon. Let's get dressed." You stole another kiss from the green-eyed heart throb in your bed, and pulled him to his feet.

You and Dean emerged into the main room, to find Rowena, Sam, and Cas pacing, uttering disgruntled words, and sifting through books.

 _'Ha. A Witch, Angel, and a hunter all walk into a bar...'_

Dean guided you as you would still suddenly whip your head to and fro, seeing something new or more beautiful than it was before. When you'd turned the last corner, his hand on the small of your back moved to your hand, encasing it in his. You paused, looking up at him with a smirk when he winked back at you. This was the first time you and Dean weren't hiding what you felt for each other…and you loved it.

 _'No matter what happens from here on out, wait- don't wanna jinx myself.'_

Sighs of relief were released loudly when the three of them laid eyes on you and Dean. It was obvious they'd been scared shitless of the outcome of the spell; and you had been too.

"Mah dear! How are you feeling?" A very tired Rowena scampered over to examine you. She held you by the arms, eyeing you up and down. Sam and Cas hovered as well, waiting.

"She sees…colors?" Dean stated, unsure of how to explain it.

"No, they aren't exactly colors…but I-It's beautiful! Everything is just… _pronounced, enhanced_ …" You said, with eyes still full of wonder.

Rowena's blank face made your stomach knot. _'She doesn't know what this is.'_ You thought.

"Molecules- You're seeing molecules, (Y/n)." Castiel's voice came, and you turned to him. A lump in your throat formed at the memory of what was brought to light the night before, learning he had feelings for you. As you met his gaze, seeing just how different he looked, you narrowed your eyes. "You're seeing energy as well. With a little more time, you'll be able to see a soul." He stated simply, like you were a child he was teaching to read.

"What…how do you know that?" You asked him, shifting uncomfortably on your feet.

Cas smiled at you. "Because we all see it…Angels, _and_ demons."

"So am I, ya know…using ability to do that? Or will it always be this way?" You asked, looking from Cas to Rowena, not sure which of them would have the answer.

Rowena was grinning again, her nervousness subsided with Castiel's help.

Cas stepped closer to you, and you could feel the tension between he and Dean, readjusting his hold on your hand. ' _Okay…slow your roll Dean. He's not proposing.'_ You thought, giving his hand an extra tight squeeze signaling him to 'calm the fuck down'.

"This is the way you should have seen the world your whole life. Your vision will remain this way." Cas said.

You smiled, thankful to have at least this one thing that made your situation bearable (other than Dean).

"(Y/n), Dean, how do you guys feel otherwise? I mean, is anything else… _different?_ " Sam pried, more curious than he was worried.

Dean shrugged. "Everything's the same for me so far, minus, ya know." He smirked boyishly, cocking his head toward you and giving an open-mouthed wink to Sam.

You rolled your eyes. _'I'm not even mad. If I were one to brag about sex, I'd be bragging about last night too.'_ You thought to yourself.

"Ugh…yeah we **all heard** Dean- literally." Sam mused, shaking his head at his brother.

Realizing what Dean had just said in front of Castiel, you changed the subject quickly.

 _'I don't know what to say to him…'_

"Rowena, what's next? Can we, ya know, try it…?" You motioned to Dean, who's expression fell solemn at the mention of 'flicking the switch'.

Rowena shrugged, her eyes bright, but her face weary from the long night. "I don't see why not…?" She said, sharing in your enthusiasm. But Dean wasn't so sure.

"(Y/n), don't want you wanna give it a day? I mean, to adjust?" He wished he hadn't said it the moment the words left his lips.

"Ya know what…it's your call princess. You say the word, and I'll say, well…the other word." Dean smiled at you confidently. The way he didn't want you to experiment right away told you he cared about you, but when he quickly changed his view, you knew he cared enough to make it your choice. You were trusting him with so much, but mostly entrusting him to never take that power away from you.

"We…should move to a room where there aren't so many breakable things, dear." Rowena suggested quickly, finger poised in the air.

"Why?" You asked.

Castiel shifted his gaze from the floor to Rowena, then to you, like they were keeping a secret from you. "We don't know what's going to happen, (y/n). A surge of that much power into someone who's never experienced it could be very chaotic."

Sam nodded, like he was sad to agree with them. "I hate to say it (y/n), but they're right. We have no idea what will happen…" His words trailed off as silence fell amongst you.

You lowered your head, discouraged. What was the point of all of this, then? Screw them!

' _To give me wings and fucking clip them…'_ You thought.

Dean saw your eyes dim like you were being let down, and it almost broke his heart.

Dean's voice broke the silence. " _No_. No, we did _not_ go through all of this crap to not go through with this." His tone grew quickly agitated, and you watched him, intrigued as he spoke. "(Y/n) didn't ask for any of this. But she needs to know how to protect herself, dammit!" Dean put his arm around your shoulder and continued. "And either way, this is _**her choice**!_! Not any of ours, not even mine. She's not our fucking secret weapon, and she's sure as _hell_ not some missile to be stashed away in a silo 'till we need her. End of story."

' _God damn fuckin' right. **That's my man.** '_You thought, _'No one puts baby in a corner!'_

Dean looked down at you then, searching your eyes.

"(Y/n), you really wanna try this?" He asked you, a serious urgency on his face and in his voice. You smirked wildly, and nodded up at him while he smiled back down at you, and you could see the adrenaline coursing through and between the two of you, like you really were connected.

' _We were fucking made for each other.'_

"Hell yes I do." You said. And out of the corner of your eye, you saw Rowena nodding to herself with a proud look on her face, like a green light saying 'go'.

"Okay, then we do it. Come with me." Dean said. And at that, he took your hand in his again leading you out of the room. Sam shot you a wink on your way passed him, as if he wanted you to do it all along.

"Dean, where are we going?"

Dean led you into to the room where your punching bag was (yes, you'd dubbed it your's the first time you beat the crap out of it), in the room with all the weights they used to spar in.

Dean shut and locked the behind the two of you aggressively, steering you to the middle of the room.

"Are you sure Dean? I don't know if I should, wha-what if I hurt you?" You needed closure before making this decision final; as if you were about to run into a burning building, and you just asked him to go with you.

Dean's expression changed quickly at your words, closing the gap between you with his lips. His kiss didn't last long, but you needed it. Because just then, you started to wonder if you shouldn't do it.

And then, you found it hard to breathe.

 _'Is the air thick in here…?'_

You licked your lips, and focused on the hem of your t-shirt again. You always did that when you were nervous, and it drove you mad. You saw it as a childish habit, almost ashamed of how quickly your anxiety could overwhelm you; you're a hunter, and you're always supposed to be tough- or so you thought.

Dean touched your chin, demanding your eyes to look at his eyes with insistency.

"You've been waiting your whole life for this, (y/n). Maybe you didn't know it, but you knew you were missing something, and this is it." He swallowed hard, his mouth dry as he gripped your shoulders, and his eyes bore holes into yours. "I'm with you on this- I'm _right here with you_. So what's it gonna be?" His question made your nerves recoil, you knew you wanted this. You _needed_ it…there was just the small matter of rolling up your sleeves, and pulling the pin on the grenade.

 _'Damnit…I'm scared. I'm fucking scared.'_

You looked back down biting your lip. Your excitement turned to fear, and you thought momentarily that maybe you should've listened to Cas. Your silence was your only answer, and Dean wasn't having it.

"(Y/n), come on!" Dean yelled, then turned in an agitated circle before coming about again to look at you. "I won't let you do this to yourself, not after _all of this_!" His words and emotion gained your attention.

"Dean, I'm scared!" You yelled back, not angrily, but out of frustration.

Dean's face softened again, doing his best not to push you, but he knew you'd hate him if he let you turn back now.

Taking your face in both of his hands, he sighed. "I've said this already (y/n), and you just don't get it do you?" Your eyes narrowed at his with confusion. "I'm _right here_. I'm not goin' anywhere."

Then it hit you like a fucking grand piano. You weren't afraid of finding out what you could do; you were afraid of _**Dean**_ finding out what you could do. In the back of your mind, it lingered there like the plague. Small questions that creeped into your mind throughout the morning, were now rearing their ugly heads at you. What if Dean saw you differently after this? What if he never wanted you to choose him, and he only did it because he felt bad about how he treated you at first…? He might start thinking I'm a freak…

"What if-what if I **scare** you, Dean? What if I turn into something you'd rather **hunt** than be with?" Your voice was almost a whisper.

Your eyes glossed over, not with tears but the beginning of them. Pulling you into his chest, Dean squeezed you tight, kissing your forehead. You thanked the gods that you didn't cry; you were so over crying, you could puke. He pulled away to look at you.

"Princess, I wanted you from the moment I saw you, and I still do. No matter what happens, I'll choose you, every time. 'Cause I'm Dean fuckin' Winchester…I don't get scared."

You grinned at him.

 _'Dean fuckin' Winchester.'_

"Hit, stay or fold?" Dean hinted with a new smile in his eyes, and from ear to ear.

Still grinning, you squinted your eyes at him and tilted your head. "What?"

"My bet's on you baby. What's it gonna be?"

 _'Jesussss the shit this guy does to me…'_

"Hit me." You replied with a sassy wink, regaining more and more of your confidence as this god of a man made you weak in the knees.

"That's my girl." And with one more kiss, Dean inhaled deeply, taking a few steps back.

You cracked your neck, shaking out your arms and shoulders to ready yourself for whatever was about to happen.

 _'I got this- I think.'_

You nodded to him slightly. Dean would've missed it, had his steely green eyes not been locked on you already. As an eery chill drew you to tremble, you watched as he set a significant breath free, concentrating hard.

At last, his smoky voice commanded you, penetrating your ears: " _ **Furorem**_!"

You hadn't been aware of what happened around you immediately after Dean had spoken that word. A low, rumbling hum sounded throughout the room. It resonated up the walls and to the ceiling, as the lights and fixtures above quaked with fear.

They burst in mere seconds- catapulting lively sparks every which way, as shards of glass cascaded down around you and Dean, littering the floor like snow.

Dean was shielding his eyes and face, hunching forward in an attempt to hide from the disarray around him. The low ghostly hum had evolved quickly into an ear-piercing whine, and Dean covered ears to protect them.

In these events simultaneously, you felt it. The power, the energy- it collided with you, emulating the swift and dreadful fury of God himself.

It coursed through your veins with a burst of vitality; you couldn't fathom how you'd been without it this long.  
You could feel your body vibrating, a tremendous surge of what was in you all along being set free.

Then as quickly as it began, the chaos enveloping you both ceased; leaving you standing, and Dean cautiously standing to right himself.

You were still self-aware, and of Dean- but you knew you both were alright somehow. Your eyes remained closed as you stood there, thrilled at the things you felt. Dean's stare was on you and you knew it, and you heard his voice.

"(Y/n)…sweetheart?" Dean pleaded, needing badly to know you were alright, and that you were…you.

At his voice, you opened your eyes.

You saw his face as your eyelids flew open- and his expression told you something was wrong, even though he didn't.

"Dean…?" You questioned.

He cleared his throat, taking an uncertain step forward to you. "(Y/n), baby you okay?"

You blinked a few times, attempting to shake this sensation in your gut. "W-What happened?" You stammered, observing the disarray around you.

He took several strides closer to you with growing confidence. "Nothin' we can't fix, sweetheart." He consoled you. "How do you feel?"

You swallowed hard, and returned his brooding gaze. "I feel like…I'm charged up? I'm not sure." You shook your head in wonder.

"Well, y-you wanna give it a shot?" He asked, his eyes scanning the room for the something.

"…How?" You hesitated. You had no idea how to channel everything you just encountered…you didn't know where to _begin_.

"How 'bout that punching bag?" Dean suggested, pointing to the black bag behind you hanging, just begging you to touch it.

"I can try, but Dean I don't kno-" Dean interrupted you.

"You _won't_ know if you don't try." He urged you.

You were letting those feelings take hold of you again; telling you it was impossible to control, and that you couldn't possibly handle this terrifying power.

You turned to the bag. You made it through the hardest part, you sure as hell weren't turning back now. Doing the only thing you knew how to, you focused.

You stared at it for several long moments, with no results to show for it. And not in frustration, or anger, but in peace- you closed your eyes. Picturing the bag in your mind's eye, you had a clear image of what you wanted it to do…now if you could only _do it_.

The lids over your eyes fluttered open, the blanket lifted- you focused again, and like **that** \- it happened.

 **Tunnel vision.** You could feel it, see it. It was like thousands of arrows were being tethered to you. Each one poised ready to aim, willing to fire; and you were the bow string. You were the only thing holding them back, and the only thing that could unleash them. The power you had over your surroundings was incredible.

 _'Start slow. Just…try to move the bag maybe?'_

Wanting to give the bag a nudge, a push so to speak, you willed it.

The bag moved at first, swaying back and forth. You glanced at Dean, gushing with excitement. It definitely wasn't much, but it was a start. He was smirking back at you with pride, his chest still rising and falling heavily to recover his breath. Dean nodded toward to the bag, egging you on to try it again.

You regained your position, and refocused. _'Just another nudge-I can do it. Picturing it happening seemed to do the trick last time…'_

Shutting your eyes to attain the image, releasing a slow exhale, you opened them again. You could hear Dean inhaling sharply like something was troubling him, but you proceeded.

This time, it felt more like muscle memory; you knew what to do. You rose your hand at the bag, like you were telling it what to do. _'Deep breath…'_

 _ **BOOM.**_

 _'Whoops.'_

The bag burst. Tiny black remnants of the tough material propelled outwards mercilessly, sand billowing into a cloud as it made it's journey to the floor.

 _'Well, damn. That happened.'_

Your punching bag was no more. A small black piece of leather was all that was left dangling on the rope, the remnants of the rest of it in the air like confetti falling atop the pile of sand that once filled it.

You blinked in surprise, making note to yourself to definitely never practice on people-that would be messy.

"(Y/n), you okay?" Dean asked you, rearing to full height as he had crouched to the floor when the bag exploded.

You turned to him, watching as he bent forward rustling the sand out of his hair.

"I think so…but I need a new punching bag now." You said, amused but a bit frightened still.

Chuckling, Dean approached you and pulled you into a tight hug. You squeezed him back, relieved that the lightbulbs and punching bag were the only things that exploded. His breathing was still jagged, and you felt his heart pounding through his chest.

"Should I-should we stop for now?" You questioned, retreating from his arms to see his face.

"You mean, you want me to _say it?_ " He replied, uncertain of what you meant.

"Yeah, do you think we should for now?" Dean's hands fell on your hips as he returned your stare, his tired eyes searching yours for a brief moment.

"No, I don't. This is part of you now, you shouldn't ignore it (y/n)…" He paused, waiting for you to object, and when you didn't he continued. "Unless you really, **really** want me to."

' _He's right. He's 100% right. I can't lock it away, or I'll never learn to control it…'_ You thought.

"No, you're right Dean. Let's just roll with the punches for now, if you're up to it." Biting your lip, you wondered what should come next. A nap? Find a case? How the hell were you supposed to hunt with this? Did you even need a gun anymore?

"I'm with ya, sweetheart. C'mon, I hear some beer in the fridge just beggin' to be drank." Dean grinned at you before placing a warm kiss on your lips, then leading you out of the room with his arm draped over your shoulders.

You weren't aware yet, but Dean hadn't told you what your eyes had done in the midst of your experiment.


	15. Daddy Issues

The remainder of the day had gone pretty smoothly (which you never expected). You made sure to avoid high-stress situations; which pretty much meant avoiding Castiel, and not looking for a case- which was driving you mad.

Dean kept his promise to you by staying close, just in case. He'd even followed you to bathroom at one point, and you gave him your best 'are you fucking kidding me?' expression you could muster.

Now in the comfort of your room, you were heading for your bathroom to shower the day away (yes, you'd dubbed yourself a bathroom along with the punching bag- may it rest in pieces).

You kicked off your boots and jeans, and shed your t-shirt and tossed it into the pile of clothes.

 _'I'm going to sit in this shower for hours. Juuuussst watch me.'_

The stress of the day had created knots inside other knots in your shoulders and neck; you were definitely looking forward to the more-than-satisfactory water pressure.

You moved in front of the mirror and combed through your mid-length (y/h/c) hair. It was knotted too, tangled from running your hands through it and twisting it around your fingers all day, out of turmoil and stress.

You snatched up a hair tie from the counter (one that wasn't lost yet); you bent over past the counter top and threw your hair over your head, preparing to pull it into a pony tail. Grasping your thick hair in one hand, ready to wrap it with the elastic band, you reared up back in front of the mirror; and screamed in horror.

Your eyes were **yellow** .

Not mustard yellow, just pure, bright and golden yellow- and it covered not only your iris and pupil, but the entirety of your eyes.

" _ **Dean!** _ " You shrieked out.

Along with your ear-splitting scream for Dean, the mirror before you cracked all the way across, then shattered altogether. The shards toppled into the sink, onto the counter and scattered to the floor. You froze, afraid to move should you unintentionally break something else.

You surveyed the damage you'd done; your heart was pounding in your ears, unable to fathom the sight you'd just seen in the mirror; those weren't your eyes.

It was just then you realized that Dean had been banging on your locked bedroom door already, blaring out your name; he must've heard you scream.

You sprinted out of the bathroom to let him in, and as you did the heavy fists pounding on your door suddenly ceased; and a shrill sound made you stop dead in your tracks.

 _'What the hell is tha-'_ Your thoughts were ripped from your mind.

The bedroom door exploded inward with a blinding flash of blue light. Splintered pieces of wood hung in the air, then fell forward with your door which landed with an enormous bounce, then a deafening **thud** .

Lowering your arm you raised to shield your face, you narrowed your eyes at the now doorway in front of you. Immediately, Castiel and Dean came rushing through.

"What the hell was **that** ?!" You raised your voice upon seeing them.

"We heard you scream, but your door was locked. So I opened it." Castiel responded, seeming disgruntled at the way you rose your voice; as if you were scoffing at your knights in shining armor.

Dean kicked pieces of wood out of his way (that moments earlier belonged to your door), and grabbed you by the shoulders. "What's wrong?" He nearly yelled, his gaze darting down and back up over your body searching for any signs of injury.

"My eyes- I looked in the mirror, and my eyes- " You were stumbling over your words, when Dean interrupted you.

"I know, (y/n). I know." He told you.

Raising your eyebrows, you looked him in the eye. ' _How the hell could he have known…?'_

It was then you remembered the way he looked at you earlier that day, when you first used your abilities.

"You knew? And you didn't tell me?" You asked, ashamed at the way you spat your words at him. You knew he didn't want to plague you with telling you…but damn you were angry.

Castiel took a step forward, as Dean released you from his grip. "When were her eyes yello, Dean?" He asked.

Dean's shoulders slumped. "In the exercise room, where we were earlier. They flashed yellow a couple of times…" He faced you again.  
"…(y/n), I didn't wanna ruin that for you. Okay? That's all. I was plannin' on telling you, I swear…" His hands dropped at his sides, looking like a puppy you just scolded.

Just as you were about to yell a savory sort of obscenities in Dean's face for keeping that from you all day, Castiel shot a sideways glance at you that said 'don't you dare be mad at him for that!'. And you knew in your heart Cas was right.

Dean was trying to keep you calm earlier that day, and sharing something like 'Uh, sweetheart your eyes are a gorgeous golden-yellow color…' definitely wouldn't have kept you calm. You sighed, and turned to him.

"Look…I'm sorry. I'm just scared…" You eyed your bare feet, then your nakedness dawned on you- you were still in your underwear and tank top, since you were about to get in the shower before all this happened.

You blushed, not because of Dean, but because Cas was standing there beside you trying his damnedest not to look at you.

Someone clearing their throat made you all look at the door- or doorway now, seeing Sam gawking there holding a few grocery bags.

"Umm…what happened to the door?" He questioned the three of you.

You and Dean looked to Cas, who shuffled his feet a bit and put his hands in his pockets awkwardly.

"(Y/n) had the door locked, and…she screamed." Cas said, now sharing in the amusement.

You were able to get that shower you so desperately needed (in Dean's shower though), and you quickly dressed afterward in a pair of grey sweat pants and one of your black tank tops. The need for comfort tonight was real.

Exiting the bathroom, you found a very much asleep (and snoring), shirtless Dean in his bed. Stooping down, you placed a soft kiss on his cheek before leaving the room; there was a whiskey bottle in the kitchen calling your name.

Your bare feet padded through the bunker to the barely-lit kitchen, nearly killing yourself over Rowena's large luxurious carpet-bag on the way. You figured she'd taken up residence in one of the empty bedrooms, and it was relaxing for some reason knowing she was staying for the time being.

Finding the whiskey, you poured yourself a very generous glass, and tip-toed off to the magnificent library you'd come to enjoy so much. It was always quiet there, and the books and their knowledge tended to calm you.

Plucking one at random off the shelf, you curled up in Sam's cozy chair (yes, it was definitely 'his', so this was the only time of day you could sit in it). You sipped your whiskey as it seared it's way down to your stomach, leaving your cheeks a bit more red than usual, and your body buzzing with that particular 'fuzzy feeling' you were yearning for all night.

The feeling of someone watching you then overwhelmed you; looking up from your book, you saw you were still in fact alone.

 _'Damn creepy bunker. It's probably haunted.'_ You smirked to yourself. _'Good thing I'm a hunter_ '.

You leafed through the old book you'd chosen at random; one about Sirens, Magical Siphons, and other Demi-Gods of the Old World. Downing the rest of your drink greedily, you closed your eyes for a moment relishing in your solitude.

' _Okay, no more whiskey for me.'_ You thought, then laughed to yourself. ' _Who am I kidding?_ '

You definitely weren't a lush by any means, in fact your lifestyle had led you away from indulging too much. Alcohol sometimes was just a way to find sleep. You were sure you weren't the only hunter out there like that, either. The toll the job took on you was real, and it usually followed you to bed at night.

"(Y/n)? Why are you up so late?" Castiel stalked through the doorway with confusion. You'd nearly jumped out of your skin in surprise at his voice.

Clutching your chest, you tried to calm yourself.

"Hey, Cas. I just can't sleep, that's all. What are you doing up?" You said, closing the book and setting it aside.

"I don't sleep, (y/n)." Cas told you matter-of-factly.

You nodded. You forgot how much Hannah would wander around the house all hours of the night; you'd always thought she was just keeping watch, but it was because she too never slept.

"Oh- I keep forgetting…" You squeaked back. Leaning toward the chair beside you, you patted the seat. "Come sit with me."

His face illuminated with a timid smile, and he took the chair next to you.

 _'Well, this is as good a time as ever…'_ You thought.

You'd been dreading this conversation since the moment Rowena very forwardly spilled the beans about Castiel's feelings for you. Knowing you were going to need it, you poured yourself another glass of whiskey and downed it clean, immediately refilling your glass.

Castiel's head tilted. "What's wrong, (y/n)?"

You didn't waste anytime telling him. "Cas…I feel like we need to-" He cut you off, holding a finger in the air. Stopping short, you raised your eyes to him.

"(Y/n), please. I have no intentions of coming between you and Dean…you have to know that." He nearly blurted out his words, as if he thought he knew exactly what was on your mind.

Startled, and slightly hurt by the fact that he assumed you thought he'd try something, you reared back in your seat a bit.

"Whoa…Cas, that thought has not even entered my mind- at all -I just meant, y'know…we should talk about it." You shuffled forward to the edge of your seat again.

"Oh, my mistake then. I apologize…I just don't see how conversing about it will change anything, though. Yes, I have…feelings for you that I believe surpass friendship. But you don't reciprocate; and I'm not offended by that (y/n). I am more than capable of maintaining a non-sexual relationship with you." He replied.

 _'WOW he is straight forward. Touche'…'_

Cas was right. Talking about it wouldn't change anything, and it wouldn't make you feel differently about him, or Dean.

Nodding slowly, you fidgeted with your hands a bit staring at the floor. Then in resolution, you reached for your whiskey glass and downed the remainder of it; like a champ of course, but it didn't stop the inevitable slight cough as you set it back down.

"You're right Cas. I'm sorry I brought it up, I just wanted to make sure that we're alright, you and I." You spoke slowly and humbly, and found the courage to look up at him again.

He smiled that knowing grin of his, with blue eyes that could entrap just about anyone, and reached for your hand, placing his atop it comfortingly.

"We're fine (y/n)…no bad blood between us." Smirking back, the whiskey started taking it's toll on you.

You took that as your sign to get to bed, knowing nothing good ever happened after 2:00 am, especially drunk.

"Good night, Cas…I'm really glad we talked…" Your legs weakened a bit as you stood, and Cas took hold of your hand as you did, standing with you.

"You're intoxicated." He stated, as you giggled to yourself a bit, listening to an Angel say you were drunk was all of a sudden hilarious.

Beaming, you looked at him and crashed into his chest in a drunken, happy hug. Lightly and carefully, he returned the hug, patting your back softly- then pushed you away from him, _hard_.

Stumbling back into your chair, your mouth agape at his actions. "What the _hell_ , Cas?!" You yelled, hoisting yourself up on the chair.

Cas was holding onto the table beside you both now, his right hand clutching his head.

"What did you _just do (y/n)?!"_ He looked at you, still grasping his head, grimacing in pain.

You shuffled over quickly in confusion, attempting to help him to the chair, but he held his hand up shakily.

"You did something to me just then- what did you do?!" He was gasping for air, as if every ounce of energy was just drained out of him.

Then, you realized something critical; you were **sober**. Plain as day, like you'd never had an ounce of alcohol.

You stuttered at words on the tip of your tongue, and you couldn't find them. "Cas! I didn't-I don't _think_ I did anything! Tell me what's wrong!"

The Angel gripped the table mercilessly releasing his head, turning to gaze at you. "Are you still drunk?" He breathed out through clenched teeth, his chest falling and rising heavily still.

Your eyes widened, for the first time in history, you shook your head 'no' in shame of not being drunk; you had an itch you knew exactly what you'd done to him, unintentionally.

"Cas I think…I-I think I-" He interrupted you again (would you ever get a word in with this guy?).

"-You _siphoned_ me, (y/n). That's what you did." Able to find the strength to stand upright, Cas squeezed his eyes shut, over come with dizziness, then opened them to find your stare again.

"Cas I didn't mean to-how did I do that?" You asked. You gulped hard, trying to push down the lump in your throat. You'd never hurt him…

"You were…under your wits, I suppose your body took over to recover for you…" His voice trailed off into the air, and he brushed his hands down his trench coat to readjust himself.

 _'Oh my god, I hurt him. **I hurt my friend**.'_

"Can…can I give it back?" You inquired, your voice shook threatening tears, and you did your best to fight them off.

Cas shook his head, lowering his eyes to his feet. "No, I'm afraid that wouldn't be wise to attempt…I'll recover fully."

He saw the tears welling in your eyes, as you bit your lip avoiding his. "I'll be fine (y/n), I promise…I'm sorry for pushing you, it just…startled me."

And he tried to smile at you, to reassure you, and it almost shattered you then and there.

 _'He is so selfless…he's actually trying to make **me** feel better…'_

 _"I hurt you…_ I'm so sorry, Cas _…"_ You murmured, unable to look at him.

"I'll be alright, I assure you…I just need to rest…" His breath was ragged, and you knew he was fibbing up just how fine he was. You'd done more damage than he was letting on, and you could tell.

All you could do was nod back to him. You sniffed, raking away the solitary tear that had broken free, and you felt many more to come behind it. You couldn't take the silence, you couldn't begin to say the right words; because of you, your friend who had no 'Angel mojo' to spare in the first place, was at more of a disadvantage now. And for a moment, you actually hated yourself.

Turning on your heels, you started briskly for the library door. You heard Castiel calling out to you from behind, but your racing heart and very selective hearing chose to ignore it. All you wanted to do was get out of here; fight or flight, and you were choosing to flee.

' _I need to get the fuck outta here…I'm gonna kill someone if I stay.'_

You'd sprinted down the corridor to your bedroom, where your door still laid on the floor in defeat. You threw on a bra and t-shirt, jumped into jeans and your boots and ran.

You knew you couldn't bump into Cas on your way out; he probably knew exactly what you were about to do anyways- he may have been new to being human, but he wasn't born yesterday.

You didn't bother packing, only scooping up the keys to Baby off the kitchen counter, your phone, and your gun.  
You made for the garage like you were breaking out of prison, and the 'there's a psycho on the loose' alarms were about to sound at any second.

Within minutes, you were the behind Baby's steering wheel (hell yes), tearing out of the garage like you were Batman, and Baby was your Batmobile.

Tears clouded your vision as you drove for the highway blanketed by night, and you batted them out of the way angrily as a sob broke free from your throat. The only comfort to you was feeling the rumble and roar of Baby's engine ahead of you.

 _'Who the fuck was I kidding?! God I'm a **fucking idiot!** They aren't safe around me.'_

The ringing and vibrating of your phone broke your train of thought (pity party, really), and you slowed your speed to pick it up from beside you. Of course, just as your gut told you, it was Dean calling.  
Your stomach knotted; chest clenched with anxiety, you stared at your phone's screen and decided to answer it- and get this over with.

 _'Dean's going to hate me.'_

Looking back up at the road, you pressed the green 'answer' button and pressed it to your ear.

"Dean, I'm-"

Dean's yelling through the other end of the phone made you pull it away from your ear quickly.

You could hear what he was saying: 'What the hell are you thinking?!' and 'You took _**Baby**_?!' and 'Shutup Sam! I'm **not yelling at her!** '

You winced in internal agony, shutting your eyes for a second returning them to the dark road before you. Dropping the phone on the seat, you slammed on the brakes the hardest you could; seeing the _last fucking thing_ you wanted to see right now.

Standing in the middle of the road as Baby's headlights fell on his form, was Crowley.

You hit the brakes harder, causing Baby to come to a complete stop just yards away from him; Dean's screaming and expletives sounding through the phone's speaker still beside you.

Crowley stood there, hands in his pockets, and the smuggest god damn sneer you'd ever seen on his face.

 _'I'm gonna peel that fucking grin right off his stupid fucking demonic face!'_

You kept eye contact with him, and he was waiting for you there, motionless- because he knew you were going to come to him.

Picking up the phone, Dean was hollering still: "(Y/N!) Are you listening to me?!"

You interrupted him quickly, you knew you'd get through this but something inside you was saying you needed to tell him something…

"Dean, please listen- I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for this…" You kept speaking over his voice, as he yelled his objections at you trying to get you to turn around.

"Damnit! _Please for the love of god, listen!_ " Gaining his attention finally, you kept your eyes glued to the vicious form of Crowley before you, as he mocked you with an eye roll.

"I'm listening, (y/n)!" Dean said in frustration through the phone.

"I hurt Cas, Dean…I hurt him- I didn't mean to…and Crowley's here. I need to face him, I can do this…I know I can-" Of course, Dean's patience ended the second you said 'Crowley's here'.

"(Y/n), you're insane! Where the hell are you?!" He yelled again. You blinked back more tears, holding the phone to your chest in desperation and agony.

 _'This is where my idiocy takes me, huh?'_

Bringing the phone back to your ear, your voice shook with uncertainty. Dean was silent; he knew you would never tell him where you were.

" **I love you, Dean.** " Yes you did…you said it.

And as you did, Dean's voice came differently this time, sounding almost as broken as yours.

"No, no-no-no-! Don't you dare, (y/n)! Don't you fucking _**dare do this to me!** _ I swear to-"

And with that, you tossed the phone back on to the seat. You knew you'd see Dean again soon you confidence overwhelmed you. You'd make this right. You had to.

The maliciousness you felt swelling inside of you made you open the car door, climbing out and to your feet. You stalked and stomped your way toward Crowley, a couple of yards away from now. You could feel the most colossal temper tantrum the world had ever seen building inside of you with each step.

A sense of fury ran cold through your blood, and that _tunnel vision_ \- it was calling your name eagerly, ready to be set free.

"I'm gonna fucking _rip you apart_ …" You spat, and you gained only a silent response from Crowley as you closed the distance between you two. His black suit shone bright in Baby's headlights; a single red rose in his coat's pocket was the only contrast to his utter darkness.

You huffed in anger, standing feet away from him now. "You must be fucking suicidal." You fumed, and watched as he was eyeing you up and down again, just as he did the first time he'd met you.

"You're quite the sight this evening, pumpkin- something bothering you, love?" He queried, amused at your disheveled appearance.

" ** _You're in my way._** " You warned, gesturing to Baby behind you. Crowley held up a finger, making a 'tisk-tisk-tisk' noise with his devilish tongue.

"(Y/n), sweetheart…Squirrel doesn't like anyone anyone else driving that monstrosity of a vehicle…" He cautioned you, and you stood your ground, anger rising in your chest.

"I wouldn't do anything to hurt me love, not yet- I need your help…and _you_ need mine." Crowley said, shuffling a bit on his feet, but still minutely satisfied with himself.

"What the hell would I _ever_ need your help with?!" You retorted, throwing your head back in furious amusement at the notion. Crowley leisurely examined his manicure as if he'd never been so relaxed, and spoke again.

"Someone close to you is…well, out for _my_ throne…and _you_ …" He told you, staring at you again to catch your response in detail.

Intrigued, your shoulders lowered a bit. "What do you fucking mean? Get to the damn part where _I kill you._ " You took a step forward threateningly; and he held his palms out toward you.

"Oh, love- you have no idea do you? _**Daddy dearest** _ wants his throne back, and he wants **you** there by his side…and I can't let that happen."

His words pierced your heart like ice; he had to be lying. There was no way…no way in hell he was even alive…

' _That's impossible…'_ You thought.

"Not impossible love, quite true, actually. Dear Asmodeus is coming home to roost, and he wants his spoiled rotten princess by his side to conquer the world with-" You cut him off angrily at his words- he did _not_ just say that fucking name.

"Get the fuck outta head my head, you son of a bitch! My Dad was **not a Prince of Hell** \- no fucking way. You're lying because you know you know he's gonna rip you _limb from limb_ -"  
Just then, Crowley's hand shot out at you the way it had before; and yielded no results.

You tilted your head in offense, looking at him like he'd just pulled the trigger on an unloaded gun in attempt to kill you.

"No dice, asswipe." You grinned, taking a couple more strides to him, watching in pleasure as he went from 'asshole' to 'perplexed kitten' in mere seconds.

"Oh…I see you've already unleashed the beast in you, love?" He said, speaking more humbly and carefully this time. Then, he gave you one of his hungry, sexual-driven looks that made you want to gag.

You nodded, your eyes fixated on him. "Yeah, I have- with some help." You were going to say Rowena's name, but until you knew she'd be safe from him, you kept that part to yourself.

He sighed, troubled and frustrated. "You don't know what you've done…you've made it that much easier for him to find you!" Crowley's voice rose higher and higher, becoming a high-pitched squeal as he squawked his words at you.

"Soprano, I take it?" You sassed at him, crossing your arms.

"You're arrogant, (Y/n), and it's going to get you killed." He stated calmly in reply. "I suggest we call a truce; you can even draw the paperwork yourself, I don't mind. But whether or not you choose to believe me, I'm telling you the truth."

You searched his eyes for perjury, eyeing him up and down watching his body language. Doing what you do for a living, you could tell when someone was being untruthful pretty easily; especially demons. And you saw no signs of it, which provoked your rage even more.

 _'There's no way my **Dad** is a Prince of Hell…but Crowley's scared…'_

"I know you're looking for it, (y/n). Signs of deceit, blah blah blah…" He rolled his eyes and calmly shoved his hands back into his long coat pockets.

"Look at me, look at me in the eyes, love-" You obliged, poutingly returning his long gaze. "I'm not lying to you. We're both in danger." His thick accent enveloped his words, but the silence was quickly broken by the sound of an engine roaring, hurdling towards you both as you stood in the road.

Crowley chuckled to himself and studied the pavement beneath his feet. "Huh…the Winchesters are here to save the day…" He trailed on.

You shifted uncomfortably, cursing under your breath. _'Fuck fuck fuck fucking fuuuuck! I'm in deep shit.'_ You thought.

"Yes, you _are_ in deep shit." Crowley mocked you with a disgusting face you wanted to smack right off his head.

"Dig around in my head again and I'll kill you, asshole…" You muttered in annoyance. As if Dean speeding toward you and Baby after you ran off wasn't enough, the King of Hell in the mix now made things all the more worse.

"Cut the name-calling, Princess…time to make a decision. Do we have a truce?" You turned away from the oncoming truck's headlights. Facing Crowley, deja' vu dawned on you as he held his hand out to you, open and waiting.

You sighed heavily in conflict. "We do this on _my_ terms. Understand?" The truck you were certain Dean was in was almost upon you; you could feel him.

"Of course…name your price, Pigeon." He instructed, eyeing the oncoming vehicle warily.

 _'I'll take my time…he **should** be scared of Dean.'_ You thought with satisfaction.

"You come back to the bunker with us. No tricks, no games. We'll hear you out, and decide then." You demanded, keeping your feet planted firmly where they were, and you held your head a bit higher. After all, he came to you for help.

Crowley's face contorted in uproarious anger. "No deal! Those flannel-wearing nightmares would sooner see me **dead** than as a bloody houseguest!" His voice rose higher again, making you laugh a bit as he scoffed at you defensively.

"Beggers can't be choosers, dick. Take it or leave it." You barked back, clenching your fists with lividity.

The truck came to a stop behind you as you awaited the King of Hell's response; and you heard Dean crying out your name before you heard his heavy boots pounding the pavement toward you.

Crowley hung his head in defeat. "Well, what's a girl to do…?"


	16. Red Alert

Dean's heavy footsteps neared you, with Sam trailing close behind him. "(Y/n)!" Dean roared, they weren't far from you and Crowley now.

The brothers were militantly stomping in time together; Sam's eyes narrowed at Crowley behind you. His knuckles were white, as his right hand wielded a glistening Angel blade. Dean's usual loving gaze was replaced, and was sharp and fierce- striking a fearful note in your chest.

' _They. Are. Fucking. Pissed.'_ You told yourself. ' _They're gonna **kill** Crowley. Mmm-hmm. He's a goner.'_

Making sure to be the barrier between them and Crowley, you sidestepped into their view; your right hand facing palm up toward Dean, similar to calming a spooked horse.

"Dean, Sam-stop! No, no, no, **stop!** " You pleaded, as they advanced on yourself and the King of Hell, the man you loved leading the way.

You just knew they were going to shoot straight for Crowley- and either kill him, or scare him off- and you **needed** his help (as much as you hated to admit it).

Suddenly, you weren't sure **what** they were doing; instead of Dean lunging at Crowley first, Dean's eyes fixated on yours like glue.

As soon as your upturned hand was within arm's reach of him, he batted it down to your side- prompting you to nearly jump back in surprise. With one more urgent half-stride from Dean, he was jerking you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you.

You could barely move as his embrace constricted you; but right away you relaxed into him. ' _Oh my god, I'm an idiot- I'm a total moron…'_ You thought, at the realization that how you'd acted wasn't quite… **rational**.

 _'Crowley-Sam!'_ You pushed away from Dean, whipping yourself around as he still gripped tightly onto your wrist- possibly afraid you'd run away again.

You turned just in time to see Sam delivering a _beautifully_ poised right hook to Crowley's left jawbone, sending him reeling back, drawing a mountain of expletives from him.

Crowley swung back around, blood freckling his face and trickling from his split lip. But Sam lashed out a second time before he had the chance to return the blow.

This time, hoisting a knee to Crowley's groin, eliciting a sickening 'pop' as Sam grunted, sending him surging to the ground.

" **Ooooohhh!** " Dean and you covered your mouths simultaneously as onlookers to the squabble before you.

' _That had to fuckin' **hurt** \- it's what he gets for bein' a dick!_' You smiled to yourself.

Then you remembered- you should probably ask your friend nicely _not_ to kill the King of Hell…yet.

"Sam! No, stop- we **need** him!" You cried out, Dean's grip on your wrist released, and you rushed forward.

Crowley was chuckling to himself, reduced to a pile of 'black-and-bloody' on the asphalt. "The girl's right, Moose- you **need** me!" He taunted him, earning himself a steel-toed kick from Sam straight to his spine.

You didn't protest, either; you just had to keep the son of a bitch alive. Your terms, remember?

"What the hell does he mean, (y/n)?" Sam breathlessly caught your eyes.

Dean was staring too, waiting for you to explain; you sighed to center yourself before beginning.

"Crowley sai-" That god damned, greedy son of a bitch interrupted you _again_.

"I _enlightened_ your pal here that her Dear 'ol Dad is after the **bloody both of us now!** " He shrieked out again, and you tried your best not to laugh at how highly his pitch ended.

"Wait-your _Dad_?!" Sam and Dean nearly spoke in unison.

You rolled your eyes, annoyed at Crowley's insolence.

"Can we just-can we please _go home?_ And talk this out there?" You pleaded, as Crowley was peeling himself off the road and brushing off his coat.

Sam and Dean shared one of their 'psychic twin-power looks' you always tease them for, and they agreed.

And treading very lightly on this one sentence, you added: "Crowley has to come with us."

* * *

Convincing Sam and Dean to let Crowley return to the bunker with the three of you was… **interesting**.

Dean had initially responded with: _"Absolutely- where's his coffin?"_  
You'd shakily worked your way uphill from there. You persuaded Sam to take Crowley in the truck with him, and let you and Dean ride back together in Baby (with that puppy-dog-eyed look you learned especially from him).

He agreed, and Dean said nothing as he stoically climbed into the front seat of the Impala. You were almost grateful that Crowley was distracting them from what you'd done- you hadn't meant to hurt anyone, not Cas, or Sam…and especially not Dean.

You estimated you'd only made it about fifteen minutes away from the bunker when you'd bolted, so it didn't leave much time alone with Dean.

You were sitting in the passenger seat, and Dean was gripping the steering wheel, writhing his hands back and forth like he was revving up a motorcycle.

 _'He is either extremely hurt, or extremely pissed.'_ You thought.

You stole a glance at him, his jaw clenching; and you chanced breaking the silence. "Dean, I'm sorry-"

Without looking at you, or letting you finish your statement, Dean cut you off. "I don't wanna hear it, (y/n)." He said gruffly, shaking his head and holding the road in his gaze.

You couldn't take it. You bit your bottom lip, drawing it into your mouth to stop tears from welling in your eyes. You knew Dean was going to be upset, maybe even angry (no one touches Baby), but not patronizing; you didn't deserve that.

 _'I'm not even gonna look at him. He hugs me, then I get the silent treatment? Psssh.'_ You thought.

You stared daggers through the window the remainder of the drive back to the bunker. You knew Sam must've been burning some rubber, because his truck was no longer in sight ahead of you. He probably wanted to spend the least amount of time with Crowley as possible; and that was understandable to say the least.

The plan was to slam Crowley with spelled and warded cuffs the moment he stepped out of the truck. None of you trusted him further than you could throw him.

Dean had called Castiel to fill him in, and he'd be waiting in the garage for you. As far as Rowena was concerned, it was up to poor Cas to deliver the news to her; and inside, you were wishing him all the best with that- _seriously_.

Pulling into the garage (way too quickly, you thought), you both eyed the truck Sam and Crowley had been in warily as Dean parked beside it. The truck was empty.

"Sam and Cas must've taken Crowley in already." Dean said solemnly, taking a sideways glance at you.

You ignored his words as he threw Baby into park, his hands reclaiming the steering wheel.

Neither of you said anything…your heart was racing, wishing you knew what he was thinking.

It was just too much. You reached for the door handle hastily before you could change your own mind, and you'd barely pushed on the door to open it before you heard Dean's voice beside you.

"Wait." He reached across the seat for your other hand, and gripped it firmly…not in anger, but in desperation.

Dean couldn't see your face, but you squeezed your eyes shut with inner turmoil.

Swiveling your head quickly to face him, he could see there were remnants of tears in your eyes, and his face looked as if you were torturing him.

You twisted your wrist, trying to wrench your hand out of his. " **Let go**!" You snapped at him, but you knew it was useless. His large hand stayed wrapped around yours in his one-of-a-kind death grip. You knew he wanted to talk, but you were in no mood for it now.

 _'He should've talked to me on the drive here, the jerk.'_ You thought to yourself angrily.

In defeat, you sulked back down into the seat, throwing your head back as a few distinct tears broke through your tightly shut eyes. You hated this- being seen this way by him -you were supposed to be **strong** …and lately, you'd felt everything but that.

"(Y/n), what the **hell** were you thinkin'?" Dean's voice broke the thick silence in the car, and at the question you opened your eyes.

Raking away the tears that had begun to fall, you turned to him, your eyes fluttering open. "I _wasn't_ , Dean." You replied, trying your best to sound annoyed by him.

"Yeah, **no crap!** " Dean's voice was angry, and his words felt cold to you. You glanced down at your hands. Biting your lip, you shook your head in disbelief and reached for the door handle again.

 _'I'm **not** a fucking child.'_

"Hey-stop, I'm sorry!" Dean blurted out at you, his change of tone making you settle back down into your seat; you still wouldn't look at him though.

Releasing a breath he'd been holding for awhile, Dean sighed. "Look…I'm not mad. I don't have the right to be, you were freaked out…and I get that-" Dean paused for a moment. "-(Y/n), **please** look at me! Don't push me away, not now…" You could feel his heated gaze on you, as his voice faded away waiting for your response.

Your anger died a little at his words; and you broke the staring contest with Baby's floor mats, and finally returned his disheartened stare.

"I'm not pushing you away." That was all you could get off your tongue- you were terrified if you said much more, the sob inside your throat would escape; and you'd be a crying heap in Dean's arms in a matter of seconds.

He tossed his hands up a little, more at a loss than anything. "Then why'd you take off, huh? When shit hits the fan, **and it always does** , you should be running **to me**! Not away from me-" Dean paused again, rubbing his temple with his left hand.  
"I dunno if you realize this or not, but I have **feelings**. I mean, were you even gonna come back?"

 _'No…maybe.'_

Your lower lip trembled, threatening to release everything you'd worked so hard to contain. You bit your lip, hard this time, and replied to Dean. "Yes…I was gonna call you Dean, I just needed out for awhile. I didn't mean to hurt you- I didn't mean to hurt Cas…I was scared that if I stayed-"

"You'd kill someone?" Dean interrupted you, finishing your sentence. "I have more faith in you than that, (y/n). We all do. And ya know somethin' else? I've stuck with you on this the whole way- through **everything** -" You opened your mouth to interject, but Dean held his finger up to quiet you.

"-No, lemme finish - You were gonna _punish_ yourself by goin' up against Crowley alone…I mean do you have a freakin' death wish?" He asked you, his brows furrowed by actually thinking you might.

" _Excuse you?!"_ You scoffed at Dean's words. "I knew I could take him tonight Dean, there was no doubt about it- sure, I overreacted but I'm **not suicidal** -"

"-Then _help me understand!_!" Dean yelled, cutting you off.

 _'He wants to understand? Sure thing.'_

"For fuck's sake Dean! I have powers that I can't control, my eyes are **yellow** sometimes, I **hurt** my friend, and -"

"-You'll learn to control 'em (y/n), that's the point to all of this! And your eyes are friggin' gorgeous whether they're yellow, (y/e/c), I don't care! I want you just the same- and Cas is f _ine_! He's taken Lucifer himself on, you don't think he can handle a little 'Mojo siphoning'?" Dean cocked his head, trying to read your expression.

You licked your lips, wringing your hands in your lap. You hated being slapped with reality checks…and you hated Dean being right even more. He took a breath, shuffling his feet across Baby's floor mat and spoke again; you braced yourself for whatever else he wanted to say.

"Sweetheart, promise me you won't do that again. I can't lose you…alright? I _cannot_ lose you." His voice was wavering the way it had on the phone with him earlier; seeing his excruciating expression along with it was almost unbearable.

 _'Aaaand I'm melting. Back to 0% on my 'Mad-Meter'.'_

Trying to form a smile of some kind, you looked at him and nodded 'Yes'.

Then, Dean reached forward again and took your hand into his, brushing soft strokes over your knuckles with his thumb.

"Tell me the truth. Did you mean it?" Dean questioned, with an expression on his face that looked like he was scared for you to answer.

You brushed a few more straggling tears off your cheeks. "What are you talking about?" You asked quietly.

Dean ran his tongue over his lips wetting them, preparing himself for what he was asking you. "On the phone earlier, you told me you love me - did you mean it?"

His eyes held yours and you couldn't look away, no matter how bad you wanted to. You had almost forgotten about saying it…but it didn't make it any less true.

"I meant it."

You'd barely gotten the words out before Dean was lunging at you, his mouth crashing into yours.

 _'Have mercy_ '.

You kissed him back, and every ounce of anger was swept away from you. Dean made everything bad in the world go away every time his lips met yours, and you prayed you did the same to him.

As you melted into each other, Dean pulled you in greedily by the back of your neck. Your mouth parted, and the warm sensation of his tongue on yours made you weak; with every move of your lips you were moving closer together in the car. Dean's free hand was stroking your thigh urgently, before he slipped it behind your knee, turning your body to face him.

Immediately, your soaring libido took over. It was as if all the emotions from the day had bottled up inside you, and this would fix _everything_.  
Tearing away from his lips, you shoved him hard back against the seat, throwing your leg over his lap to straddle him. He was surprised; but even so, he reached for your cheek to brush a strand of hair away from it.

Dean searched your eyes for a split second before pulling you back into his ravenous kiss. Your legs began to quake with need, and you lowered yourself onto him for support, never losing his embrace.

His hands were on you everywhere; he was snaking his fingers under your shirt, up and down, then lower until he was pulling your hips into him as close as he could.

"You're so beautiful…" He whispered between breathy, needy kisses. You took the opportunity to feel those muscles under his shirt that drove you insane; you ran your hands down his pecs, then back to his shoulders, earning a guttural moan from deep within him.

Just then Dean's phone vibrated, distracting you until he pulled you back into him. He mumbled something against your lips, it sounded like 'It can wait'.

Feeling his hardness through his jeans and yours, your chest began to rise and fall heavily with excitement. Returning his hands to your hips, he pulled you mercilessly tight against him; grinding his growing bulge into your core, reducing you to a moaning mess against his lips.

He repeated the grueling motion over and over, until you were sure you'd come in your jeans.

"Ohh my god…" Was all you could breathe out when Dean's mouth was suddenly on your neck; first they were his soft sensual kisses, then he made his way to that sweet-spot on your collarbone…"Fuck! Dean…" Letting your head fall back to steering wheel in pleasure, he continued his incursion on your neck.

You ground against him harder, begging for friction, touch, anything. He held your right hip firmly in his hand, and sucked and kissed his way further past your collarbone.

You grasped his shoulders, then dug your nails into his neck as his unoccupied hand traveled up the front of your shirt at a punishing slow pace.

Reaching your bra, he slipped his hand effortlessly beneath it, tugging it down to free your breasts from it's confines. You lifted your head in surprise, and he used a good handful of your hair to gently pull your head back down.

As you still writhed against each other, you felt his hot breath splay over your exposed breasts; and he kissed his way softly to your hardened nipple. "Jesus, baby…" He whispered against it, causing you to whimper his name again, barely audible.

Sucking it gently into his mouth, you were instantly overwhelmed; digging into his back again with pure want. The sensation of his tongue tracing light circles around your nipple nearly caused you to break; and you could tell you were about to either finish this in the car, or high-tail it to his bedroom.

"(Y/n)…" Dean growled, breathing into your chest. You answered in breathless pants of pleasure, holding onto him for dear life. He brought his mouth to yours again with ferocity, your tongues wasting no time to meet in the middle this time.

His fingers were familiarly tinkering with the button on your jeans. Freeing it finally, he unzipped them. Leaning against his touch, you both paused momentarily. His nose was grazing yours, your lips barely touching, and you just stared into each other; and then you heard that **damn noise again**.

Dean's phone vibrated again, causing him to nearly lose it. He snatched it off the dashboard, and started to silence it when he saw it was a text message from Sam.

"Sam wants to know if we're okay. Says we need to meet them in there…" He winced, rolling his neck in annoyance.

Quickly, you adjusted your bra and jeans, as Dean watched you with lustful eyes. You grinned at him, placing another kiss on his lips, telling him you'd go in first.

 _'So this is what blue balls feels like…'_

"(Y/n)…we need to talk later, okay? Promise me we will." Dean asked you as you stepped out of the car.

You smiled and nodded to him, walking on shaky legs out of the garage.

* * *

Entering the main room, you found Sam, Cas, Rowena and… **UGH.** Crowley.

You made sure you made a disgusted face as you laid your eyes on him; and your eyes fell on Cas next, who was looking distraught, but happy to see you just the same.  
Walking over to him, you wanted to hug him- but you kept your distance purposefully, as not to hurt him accidentally again.

"Are you okay?" You asked him quietly, not wanting anyone but him to hear. Instead of answering you, he took a long stride forward, and enveloped you in an enormous hug. You pulled away at first, but something told you it was alright; and you squeezed him tightly back.

He leaned forward a bit to your ear, and whispered. " **Please** don't do that again."

You smiled into his shoulder, inhaling the welcoming smell of his trench coat. "I promise, Cas."

You pulled quickly away, wiping your sweaty palms (so what, you get nervous!) on your jeans. Rowena was sitting next to Sam, pouting wildly at the ceiling. She was enraged that her son was here, you could tell right away.

Crowley opened his mouth to speak, something probably stupid, when Dean sauntered into the room, nodding to Sam, who clapped his hands together in commencement.

"Okay-(Y/n), Crowley- what are we up against?" He questioned you both, looking not at all amused- he'd probably sat in that very chair, and asked that exact same question to hundreds of people before you.

"I really have to say all of this again?!" Crowley steamed, his British accent making his annoyance a bit comical to you.

Sam raised his eyebrows at him, motioning with his giant hand for him to elaborate.

Crowley rolled his eyes so hard you thought they'd disappear in his head; and he went on. "A particular _someone's Daddy-_ " He shot harsh daggers at you with his eyes, and your lip curled at him in defense. "-is after **my job title!** "

 _'Jesus Christ. He **would** make this all about him- what a fucking diva.' _ You thought.

"Okay, so…why does that concern us, and why is that a _bad_ thing?" Sam asked him, completely emotionless at Crowley's vexation.

He sighed in his chair, hands on the table in warded handcuffs, keeping him from 'smoking out' or trying anything else. Rowena's smug grin at his current state was absolutely laughable, she was absolutely relishing in it.

"He's coming for (Y/n), too." Crowley mewled, shifting his predatory gaze at you, then to Sam. "Did she mention to all of you **_who_** he is? Asmodeus, Prince of Hell?"

 _'Oops. Nope, sure didn't. Just told 'em the basics…'someone big and bad is coming...blah blah blah…'_ '.

The air in the room all at once shifted; Castiel, Sam, Dean and Rowena all had their eyes on you -and you wanted to fucking disappear.

"Your Dad is a _Prince of Hell_?" Sam repeated, his expression saying 'Please say Crowley's lying'.

You buried your face in your hands, shifting in your chair. You breathed for a moment, counting to 10 in your head.

 _'I can't lose it. I'm fine, all of this is fine.'_ You kept telling telling yourself. But the truth, none of this was fucking fine.

"I-I didn't know. I thought he was just some cut-rate demon, I didn't know he was… _that_." You spat the word 'that' angrily, like you were so disgusted that you couldn't say it out loud.

Castiel's eyes were narrow with thought, and his face scrunched a bit with stress. "How would we defeat a Prince of Hell, Crowley? What can we do that you can't?" His fists were clenched on the table, as he stared at Crowley, who was smirking devilishly back.

"You have **her** , Feathers." Crowley pointed at you, his handcuffs jingling a bit with the motion.

Rowena bucked herself in your defense. "You can't use her, Fergus! I won't let you. You've made your bed, now lie in it!" Her angry words rolled off her tongue at her son; she hated him, and you could tell.

Dean looked to Cas, then to Rowena and back to Crowley. "Ditto to what Feathers said- what can (y/n) do about it?" Cas shot Dean a glance of animosity as he used the name 'Feathers' in reference to him, and Dean shrugged back and made an apologetic face. The name 'Feathers' seemed to stick; there was no doubt about that.

"Asmodeus wants her by his side, you imbeciles! She'll pop up on his radar as soon as she's far enough from this place- If she can get close enough to the bastard, **she** can finish the job-"

Dean stopped him from finishing his sentence. "That's **enough** Crowley!" He shut up right away, and you were thankful for Dean stopping him. He must've seen your reaction at Crowley suggesting you kill your own Father, whom you hadn't even met yet…

"You have yet to get to the part where this _helps us,_ Crowley…" Sam jeered at him. "…I mean, surely you didn't think we'd just help you outta the goodness of our hearts, right? So what's in it for us?"

You grinned at Sam's forwardness, and watched as Crowley ran his tongue over his teeth, visibly thwarted by his question. "Who says (Y/n) is going to have a **choice**? My demons have been being slaughtered for days by him- he is _certainly_ not looking this hard for her, to ask her **nicely** to join him in hell!" His voice rose gradually again, a throbbing vein protruding from his forehead.

If he weren't an immortal demon possessing some poor sap, you would've told him to calm the fuck down before he had a coronary.

"He's right." You said, looking up from your hands. "But what if we're going about it the wrong way? What if…I talk to him?" You should've known the reactions you earned would be unsavory, but it was worth a shot.

All five of them exclaimed at the same time, with 'Are you kidding?', 'Absolutely not', 'Over my dead body', 'Fuck that', and 'You're out of your bloody mind'- Yes, the last one was Crowley.

"Wow…okay. Well from where I see it, he won't hurt me, right? I think I should hear it from him before going in guns blazing because a _Demon_ told us we should." You glared at Crowley as you said 'Demon', earning a dirty look from him.

Again, Crowley made the 'tisk-tisk-tisk' sound with his tongue at you, pointing a finger again. "Oh love, he's _already_ hurt you- surely you haven't forgotten your lovely stay with the demons that took you?" A wide-mouthed grin spread on his face with malice, and your stomach did back flips at his words.

"What the hell do you mean?" You asked him through clenched teeth.

Crowley shook his head, and started to chuckle to himself. "You didn't think those were **my demons** that took you, did you? They certainly used to be, but Asmodeus…is persuasive."

Dean's face grew angry, watching Crowley as he taunted you. You erupted from your chair, leaning on the table as if it would change what he'd just said.

"My Dad **wouldn't** do that to me-"

Crowley cut you off in anger. "You're **nothing to him**! He seduced your mother because he wanted a _**weapon! Go look in the mirror girl!** _ Your Fath-"

 _ **BOOM.**_

You'd taken two short strides to Crowley as soon as the word 'weapon' left his lips, and threw a punch smack in the middle of his face; the sound reverberated through the room as Crowley was sent back in his chair with a keening cry of pain.

Shaking out your hand roughly in the air, you turned to your silenced friends with nervous and surprised looks on their faces.

"I need a fucking break." Your voice nearly broke with fury as you spoke, and you stormed out of the room.

Crowley was wiping the blood from his nose, looking down at the table like he was wondering what he did wrong.

* * *

You never thought you'd miss that damn punching bag this much. You had stomped the whole way down the hall to the exercise room, expecting to see it hanging there with open arms; and instead your memory was jogged by what you'd done to it, when you saw the bagless rope swaying ever so slightly back and forth.

"Uggghhh!" You cried out, when you felt someone whip you around by your elbow. Dean was there, pulling you tightly against him in a hug. You clutched your arms around him and buried your face into his chest, overwhelmed but doing your best not to break down.

You both stood there for a few moments as Dean held you until he cleared his throat. "I was actually on my way to the garage…to make sure Baby was still there…" You laughed into his chest, and he kissed the top of your head pulling back to look at you.

"Listen, we need a plan. And fast. What do you wanna do?" Dean asked, a serious note in his voice as he looked down at you.

You swallowed hard and knew he wouldn't like your answer. "I wanna talk to my Dad, Dean…I want to meet him…" Your lower lip trembled, feeling pathetic- someone had just told you your own Father let his demons _torture_ you- and you still wanted to meet him.

Dean shut his eyes for a moment and sighed in protest. "No! Absolutely not. We have no idea what he's capable of! And, we can't exactly invite a Prince of Hell over for dinner."

You rolled your eyes. "I know Dean…But Crowley said he's looking for me-" You stopped short, and a giant smile spread across your face. That was it- an idea sprang to mind that just might work.

"What is it?" Dean asked.

"Son of a bitch." You laughed out. "C'mon." You grabbed his hand, practically dragging him back to the main room of the bunker.

* * *

The two of you emerged around the corner, seeing Rowena, Cas, Crowley and Sam still at the table. Cas and Sam were mumbling something back and forth to each other, and Crowley and Rowena were having an 'I'd love to rip your throat out' kind of staring contest.

"Crowley." You called his name, and he turned to face you, drying blood caking to his nose.

"Came to rough me up some more, love?" He dared you, and though you loved the idea of beating him senseless, you couldn't...for now.

"Can we summon him?" You asked urgently, leaning on the table.

Crowley's expression softened, his eyes widening at the idea. Then he looked at you with something else, almost pride you could say. "That might work, love. It's genius, actually…"

Sam's face contorted, not exactly loving the way this was going. "Summon him- _here?_ To the bunker?!" He scoffed, holding his hands up for effect.

"Yes, Sam! It's better than going to him, right? We'd have to do it in the dungeon…" Your voice trailed off as you mentally prepared a list of things you'd need.

"Dean, please tell her this is a bad idea." Sam looked to his older brother for support, who looked more at a loss than he was.

He shrugged, gesturing to you. "Dude…it's the best we've got. It'll be on home-field, at least…" He left the room as he spoke, and returned after a few moments holding a case of beer. Sam and Cas eagerly reached for one, and Dean passed one to you and Rowena.

"I don't get offered a refreshment, I take it?" Crowley asked, attempting to look as offended as possible.

You rolled your eyes, and pouted your lips as you stretched across the table to snag him a beer.

"So kind of you (y/n), thank you- at least someone is hospitable around here…" He mused, taking a moment to crack his beer open due to the handcuffs on his wrists.

"So we'd need to do it in the dungeon obviously…holy oil, sigils, spell work-" You nodded to Rowena who graciously nodded back in participation, "-but…the risky part is, he can come at anytime, anywhere in the bunker…"

"Ah-hem…" Rowena politely interrupted you, her red lips pressed together in a very pleased smirk. "If we summon your father using your blood…he'd **have to come to where you are.** " She finished with a wink, and you couldn't help but appreciate her even more.

You looked to Dean, Cas, and Sam. "Objections? I mean, this is your bunker, I'm just a guest-I think." You asked, uncertain to whether or not you should refer to this place as yours too, yet.

 _'Hint-hint, boys…'_

The three of them remained silent, but all nodded to you in affirmation. Then, of course, Crowley's two cents were thrown in again.

"I object." He said, taking a swig of the beer you handed him moments before.

"Noted…and fuck you." You replied calmly, about to turn away from him when he opened his mouth again.

Crowley's expression had changed, going from sinister and offensive, to somehow grave…like he cared about what he was about to say next. "I don't think you want to do this, (y/n)…you don't know what it'll do to you."

You sighed, so fed up with his bullshit you could scream. " **Please, Crowley…** do tell us all what you mean." You forced a smile on your face sarcastically, cocking your head at him.

"Asmodeus is **brutal** …he's nothing but an animal- everything I said earlier was true. And now that you've popped your 'power-cherry', he's going to work _that much harder_ to pull you into hell with him, like it or not." Crowley finished, eyeing you carefully as he returned his attention to his beer.

"Shut the hell up Crowley. That's not gonna happen, we'll be ready. (Y/n) and I will get started on warding the dungeon first thing." Dean chimed in, downing the rest of his beer greedily and reaching for another.

You nodded at him and smiled, grateful for him sticking up for you…not that you needed it, but it was nice to be cared for.

Then, Crowley mumbled under his breath, barely audible. "Speaking of popping cherries…"

' _Ohhh my god. I'll kill him. I will fucking kill him.'_

You pretended not to hear him, and reached for another beer, your cheeks growing brighter by the second.  
You saw as Dean stopped mid-gulp as his beer was raised to his lips, realizing what Crowley had muttered. Sam's mouth was agape as his gaze shifted from Crowley to you, and Cas had tilted his head to look at Dean with unyielding eyes.

' _Nevermind. Everyone heard that I guess.'_

Crowley, looking utterly pleased with himself, looked around at you all. "Did I miss something? It's so quiet all of the sudden…" He dared to look at you, and you swore to yourself in that moment you'd kill him the second this was all over.

You cleared your throat and snatched your beer off the table. "Whewww. I'm exhausted. I'm hitting' the hay, guys." You practically tripped over your feet as you turned around, giving Crowley one last 'when I kill you, this is why' glare as you stalked out of the room, beer in hand.

* * *

Suddenly you wished with all your might that Cas hadn't blown your door into pieces. Right now, you needed a door…one with a lock…because you were certain that any moment now, Dean was going to come around that corner and ask you just what the hell Crowley was talking about.

You knew it was going to come out sooner or later, but you didn't want to tell Dean like this. Yes, you were a virgin before you were unexpectedly swept off your feet (literally) by the green-eyed Winchester.

You felt terrible for not telling him, but damn it…being a female hunter at 27 years old, it was plain embarrassing. And the anxious side of you made you believe that those moments with Dean may not have happened if he'd known; you were scared he would be too afraid to touch you, to be with you- and something in you didn't want that to even be a possibility.

 _'Get yourself together. Juusssst breathe. He won't be mad. He won't be mad_.' You told yourself. ' _Christ, he's gonna fucking lose it!_ '

You were pacing back and forth relentlessly, practically starting a fire with your feet on the rug.

 _'I'll go to the dungeon, and start working on those sigils. Maybe he won't even think to look in there…just put this whole conversation off till tomorrow! Great idea…self high-five, you genius!'_

With the thought on your mind, you started for the dungeon. You were surprised at just how fast you could be motivated to doing something at the thought of an angry Dean Winchester at your heels.

At last, you were opening the door to the dungeon. You hated being in here, it reminded you of everything the demons did to you, everything they took in the weeks they held you captive. Scanning the room quickly, you mentally made notes of all the places you'd need to paint the sigils, and at that you realized you forgot something essential.

' _Spray paint…god dammit!_ ' You thought, turning around once more to head for the supply closet.

Turning the corner out of the dungeon, your breath was knocked straight of your lungs as you ran into something big and solid that smelled like Dean.

"Goin' somewhere?" Dean asked you, and you wondered how the hell he knew you'd be here.  
His arm was leisurely poised on the doorway over his head, like he was just waiting for you to turn around.

"I-I was just starting on these…paint. I need paint." ' _Thumbs up, champ. You're killin' it.'_

Dean brought his arm down, and both his hands to your waist, pushing you gently past the doorway and back into the dungeon. There was something different in his eyes, and it both scared you and turned you on immensely.

You nudged at his hands a bit, attempting to pull them from your waist, but no such give.

"Is it true?" Dean asked you, his wary eyes searching yours for an answer he already had by your evasion.

You bit your lip, still stepping backward as he moved with you. "W-What are you talking about?" You asked sheepishly, wondering why you were even bothering with the charade.

Dean rolled his eyes at your question, and at the same time he'd walked you straight back into the wall behind you, pressing you firmly against it.

"You know exactly what I'm talkin' about, princess." His eyes seared down at you, and that word! You felt that familiar heat spreading through you, just at Dean calling you 'princess'; and he probably knew exactly what it did to you.

You sighed in defeat, averting his gaze altogether. You felt your chest tightening, and those all-too-often tears were welling in your eyes. You absolutely hated crying, and you were doing an awful lot of it lately.

At the sight of you, Dean's expression went from lustful to sympathetic.

"(Y/n), look at me- I just wanna know why…why didn't you tell me?" His hand found your chin, tilting your face to look up at him.

You released another shaky breath. "I'm sorry…" You closed your eyes for a moment to reel your emotions in. "I was embarrassed I guess…I didn't want it to change anything." Ashamed of yourself completely, you averted his eyes again.

Dean pursed his lips, and he looked like he was recalling a painful memory as he grimaced in discomfort. "Did…Did I hurt you?" He asked, and his face nearly tore you to pieces right there.

"No, of course you didn't…that first time was incred-" He cut you off by shaking his head.

"The other night when Rowena did the spell, and after, we…did I hurt you?" He questioned you again.

You knew what he was asking now, and your heart sank at just how much he really cared. Even though every bit of you that night was completely surging with some other-worldly desire, you remembered every bit of it.

You remembered it being fast, primal, and completely, _insanely amazing_. But then you realized to him, the way he too had been driven out of control with lust, he would be out of his mind not to wonder if he'd been too rough with you.

You gripped his shoulder, gaining his attention. "Ohh my god…no! Dean the other night was… **amazing!** You didn't hurt me, I swear... I would've said something…"

He nodded, his expression still holding something you couldn't pinpoint. "I wish you'd told me. I would've-"

"Done things differently?" You interrupted, finishing his sentence. "That's what I was afraid of."

Dean paused for a moment, his eyes lighting up a bit.

"How, though? **Look at you** …there's really _never_ been anyone else? I mean, no hook-ups after a hunt, nothing?" He was confused, eyeing you up and down in admiration as you stood still, back against the wall.

You kept a straight face, trying to ignore the blush rushing to your cheeks at his words.

"I guess I've never had the time… I've never met anyone that made me want to, or that I trusted enough. Plus, I was practically raised by an Angel, remember? Hannah never let me out of her sight." You chuckled a bit at the memory of how she'd started homeschooling you once when you were 13, because you got asked out on a date.

Dean tilted his head to the side, pouting his lips with a nod, as if to say, 'Yeah, that's true'.

At a loss for words, you hung your head, toying with one of the buttons on Dean's flannel.

You felt a puff of breath hit your forehead as Dean exhaled. He wrapped his arms gently around you, drawing you into the safety of his warm chest.

As the thought of Crowley burst into your mind, you looked up at Dean. "Where's Crowley at?" You asked him.

"Oh…Rowena's gonna 'tuck him in' upstairs. Don't worry." He replied, sarcasm soaking his words. You smiled into his chest and hoped he didn't let go of you, not yet.

"Come with me." Dean took your hand, leading you out of the dungeon briskly. He was pulling you along down the corridor quickly enough that your hair was blowing behind you past your shoulders.  
His pace was unwavering, like he was on a mission from god; and a knot in your stomach formed at just what that mission might be.

In minutes, Dean was ushering you into his bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind him.

' _Color me aroused…'_

Turning his focus to you, he closed the gap between you. Urgently but timidly, he took your face into his hands and locked his eyes on yours. You weren't sure if he was about to kiss you, scold you, or tell you something was in your teeth- but one thing was certain- the suspense was nearly killing you.

"I want a second chance." He said, still cupping your face in his hands as you held his forearms in yours.

' _What is he talking about? Maybe he's drunk.'_

You narrowed your gaze, completely baffled at his statement. "I don't quite follow…"

Exasperated, Dean shifted on his feet and tried again. "I want a do-over, (y/n). If I'd known I was your _first…_ " He paused briefly at the word, looking at you like manna from heaven. "…I would've made things different."

You inhaled uncomfortable at the idea, even though it was the sweetest thing anyone could have done for you in his position. After your silence hung in the air, Dean leaned in and placed a soft kiss on your lips. It wasn't long though; and when he pulled away from you, he moved to your ear, letting his lips graze over your earlobe just right.

"Do I have to **beg** …to give you mind-blowing sex, princess?" His lips whispered against your ear…and you knew you must have made some unintelligible noise in the back of your throat.

' _Don't need these panties anymore…'_

Dean pulled away again, beaming as he could sense your answer from your face, and knew he didn't need to ask again.  
But you could tell something else weighed on his mind, when he blinked rapidly and cleared his throat.

"And…I'm not too good at this 'feelings crap'…" He began uneasily.

' _Wow, ruin the moment why dontcha'…'_

Dean swallowed hard, willing himself to go on. "…but while I'm at it, I should tell you…I love you too."

 _'RED. FUCKING. ALERT.'_

He reached for your face again inhaling deeply, reeling from the words that had just left his mouth- and your's was hanging open, unable to give him a response.

You didn't think either of you would ever move, completely stuck in the moment. Then as if it were a total emergency, Dean's lips were on yours. Your head was spinning, your stomach nervously clenching with those well-known, but newly acquainted butterflies.

His words still hung in the air as his hands guided you backwards to his bed, where he gradually urged you onto your back. Your embrace broke only for a second until he was on top of you, finding your kiss again. Your lips on his felt like heaven; you could taste the hint of whiskey on his tongue as it crept it's way over yours, causing your entire body to erupt with need.

Dean lowered more of his weight on top of you, running one hand up and down your thigh- compelling both your legs to fall apart further with uncaged want. He skillfully lifted your t-shirt over your head, freeing you enough to unclasp your bra for him as his hands sauntered down to your jeans.

You tossed your bra aside, drawing a groan of approval from him; also triggering him to work that much quicker to rid you of your jeans.

In a tangled mess of flying clothes later, you both were finally free of constraints. Dean reared back for a moment to take in the sight of you, just as he'd done the first time you'd been intimate; but this time the look in his eyes was different.

"You're perfect, (Y/n)…" His voice was low and seductive, and you barely heard what he'd said.

You grinned at him, as he leaned back down above you. He crept up toward you to kiss you again, his erection brushing against your thigh, making you inhale sharply. "Not yet, sweetheart…" He murmured into your kiss, before advancing his lips to your neck.

He kissed his way from there down to your collarbone, nipping at your jugular along the way. His hands caressed your sides, and as he made his way down your chest, his hands met his mouth at your breasts. Massaging them gently at first, a moan of excitement escaped you as his breath there awoke goosebumps all over your body.

Dean glanced up at you, your face flushed beet red, as he softly tugged at one of your budding nipples with his teeth; sending your head straight back to the pillow with your mouth in an 'O'.  
Moving his attention from your breasts, he put his hands on your thighs, slowly easing them apart as he moved down between them.

He brushed his lips against the inside of your knee, then left a trail of warm kisses while he progressed toward your center.  
"Jesus…Dean!" You whimpered, not knowing whether you could hold it together much longer. The incident in Dean's car earlier had made it that much harder.

"Ssshhh sweetheart…almost…" Dean whispered back to you, but his mouth was suspensefully poised over your glistening sex- his breath on your clitoris causing your legs to falter and your breath to hitch in your throat.

Bracing what was to come, you buried your fingers into the pillow beneath you on either side, taking long staggering breaths. And finally, Dean's tongue met your clit, softly perusing it in grueling circles at first, then flicking it over the top lightly, just enough to make you writhe beneath it.

At your frustrated groans, Dean's tongue was lapping over your wet folds in a flash; building you higher and higher with each movement. His mouth was greedy, divulging in your juices while his tongue probed against your entrance. When your hips instinctively jerked upward to his touch, he slid his arms underneath your thighs and held onto them from the other side, coaxing them apart further to better his work on you.

"Dean! I'm gonna-" Your words were interrupted by your own cries of pleasure, as Dean eased one finger through your opening, returning his tongue to your swollen clit, moving quickly over it in a back-and-forth motion.

His finger swirled inside of you, and as he pushed deeper he grazed that sweet spot that threatened your undoing. Again and again, he curled his finger against it, and the ache in your core turned into a deep throbbing. You grasped onto the back of his head, tufts of his hair between your fingers.

This felt unlike anything the two of you had shared. Although it wasn't the first time he'd done this, **everything felt different.**

He took his time, paying attention to how your body responded to him. His movements were calculated, more considerate- it felt as though he was worshiping you with his mouth, and his hands planned every move they made before they touched you.

Just when you thought it was too much, Dean added a second finger, quickly resuming his adept work on your clit with his mouth, and now forcing both fingers against your G-spot, leaving no survivors.

With one more press of his fingers, you were gone. Your walls fell apart around him, clenching and pulsating as you cried out to the ceiling above.

"Let it go, sweetheart…" Dean cooed into you, working his fingers further away from your sweet spot, allowing you to ride out the waves of your climax.

"Deannn…" You weeped at the feeling of his fingers withdrawing slowly out of your drenched sex.

"You taste so good…" Dean mouthed against you, causing you to gasp for air when you felt his tongue sweeping over your entrance again.

Slowly he rose, only to kneel before you to bring his lips to yours. You kissed him back, easily and meaningful; covetously granting his tongues access to yours once more, tasting your lingering arousal on his.

With growing need, you suddenly felt the urge to take control. Nudging Dean out of the way, you moved aside allowing him to sit back on his knees.

"Lay down, Dean…" You panted, a wild spark in your eyes from the orgasm that was still rippling through you.

He objected. "Sweetheart, this is about you-" He was shaking his head furiously, intent on pleasing you in every way.

"Then you should do what I say…" You interrupted him, giving him a a seductive wink.

Grinning at your orders he obeyed, laying where you had been reluctantly, but sitting up slightly to observe you.

Bending forward, you placed another kiss on his lips as you straddled his hips, hovering over his hard member. Reaching beneath you, you guided the tip of him to your entrance.

You began lowering yourself, relishing at the feeling as his thickness squeezed past your slick opening. Descending further bit by bit, more of him filled you, and you gave yourself time to adjust to his width and length.

You watched with satisfaction as Dean's jaw clenched harder the slower you moved down him, sending a wave of pleasure through you.

Finally, his length buried in you, you rested your palms on his chest and began to move up and down slowly. Dean's hands instinctively found your hips, where his fingers dug into you. He leaned up toward you further into a sitting position with his back against the headboard, so you were nose to nose in sheer sexual delight.

Your hands moved around his shoulders for support, moving on top of him more fervently. He jerked upwards into you, his hands gripping your hips tighter and tighter with each thrust, drawing a growl from his throat as you bounced harder to meet him.

"Jesus christ baby…you feel so good…" Dean's groans into the crook of your neck made you moan his name in reply, when he sank his teeth a little into your shoulder in desperation; leaving you breathless and whimpering, and barely able to move yourself up and down on him. Your climax had left your lower half weak, and your toes completely numb.

Sensing your wavering legs, Dean quickly had you underneath him again, wasting no time lining himself up at your entrance.

He paused, peering down at you with both admiration and lust, then locked his lips on yours with determination.

"…Dean please-" You begged against his lips for his touch, as he agreed with a deep thrust into your core.

You wrapped your legs around his waist for measure, as he resumed his thrusts into you, one after another, in between needy and sweaty kisses on your lips and neck.

You could almost taste the tension rising again in you, and in Dean's eyes you could see it too. Your pussy clenched around his hardness, needing release again badly.

"Sweetheart, I'm not gonna last much longer…" He whispered into your ear, and your only replies were moans and scratches to his back as he filled you entirely.

He was hitting that spot once more, harder, and with purpose as you both neared your release. Your muscles tightened further, and you clung to him in anticipation.

You bucked into him to meet his pace, and he held your hips tight to drive himself further. With those last few thrusts into each other, you came crashing down again, feeling Dean pulsate inside of you as his warmth flooded you with more satisfaction.

Seeing tiny black dots speckle your view of Dean, you closed your eyes and no longer tried to hold back your moans, calling his name between them as your lungs allowed.

His movements slowed, bringing you both down from the highs of your orgasms, letting his head fall beside your face.

"That-was…oh my _god_ …" You breathed out into his ear, your chest heaving with adrenaline.

He replied chuckling lightly back. "That was all you, princess…the things **you do to me** …" Dean nipped at your earlobe, before retreating to meet your eyes.

' _Jesus, I'm head over heels…'_

"I love you, (y/n)." Dean spoke softly, an earnest gaze in his tired eyes.

"I love you too, Winchester." You smirked up at him as your face brightened. Snaking your arms around his neck, he pulled the sheet over you both, and you lost yourself in his lips again.

* * *

FAST FORWARD: 11 HOURS LATER

 _'Locked in. We're locked in.'_

 ** _"Sam!"_** You could barely hear your own screams over the ear-piercing alarms resonating through the bunker. Your hands shook furiously while you gripped your t-shirt you'd made into a makeshift bandage, and put as much pressure on his wound as you possibly could. You felt hot tears surging down your face, the bright and eery red lights still blinking with rage.

 _'_ _Check his pulse…'_ You shifted your weight to your left hand to free your right one.

Your hand, trembling and blood-stained, felt around his neck feverishly for a pulse; it was faint, but it was there.

" _ **Sam!**_ **Dammit, say something! S-Stay with me,** _ **please!"**_ You felt knives in your windpipe, while you implored an unconscious Sam through uncontrollable sobs. You returned your attention to his wounded side, and exerted more pressure to it again.

Your eyes widened at the sight of the younger Winchester's blood, as it soaked through his shirt and rose between your fingers, trickling down the backs of your hands.

Looking up, you whipped your head from side to side trying to see through blurred vision. The library re-illuminated, flooded with a red glow as the lights above you flashed again.

 ** _"Crowley!"_** Your hoarse voice roared out at the top of your lungs- you needed him. Needed to know at least he was alive. More broken sobs escaped your throat, your teary eyes returning to Sam's near-lifeless body on the floor next to you. Still holding your body's weight into his wound, you cried his name out again.

 **"Sam! Please-** no no no no…" Then, you heard a noise.

 _'Running…someone's running toward me…'_

You tried to decide whether or not you should hide, but then it dawned on you that it didn't matter- dead or alive, you weren't leaving Sam.

"(Y/n)? Is Moose…?" Crowley's british accent sliced through the air, and you breathed an enormous sigh of somewhat relief.

"Crowley, _help him!"_ You begged, new and old tears mixing with the dried blood spatter on your face as they fell. He stood before you now and crouched to his knees.

"You know I can't love…the bastard took everything I had. He could be back at anytime..." You watched as his features were lit by the red lights, and you saw the King of Hell was as sad, desperate, and afraid as you were.

You gasped as the shirt you were holding to Sam's side slipped, dripping with crimson. You cried out, replacing it as quickly as you could. You knew there was no use, but you weren't giving up. Not yet.

"Anything from Cas yet? Or Dean? Where's my Dad?" Your horrified eyes searched Crowley's, your face contorting in pain when you could see they held no good news.

"Couldn't find him…and nothing from the dynamic duo." You bit down hard on your lip. It took you by surprise when Crowley hung his head.

 _'Pulse! Check his pulse!'_

You shook yourself, pulling it together- you felt around Sam's neck again for his pulse, and it was weaker.

You closed your eyes. _'This is all my fault.'_

You couldn't even cry anymore; your breath hitched and your entire body shook as you fell back to your heels. Crowley's hand was on your shoulder in an instant.

"You should've listened to me, love."


	17. Juggernaut

Much was being planned over a couple pots of coffee that morning, you all knew you were going to need it.

You and Dean were going to work on warding the dungeon, while Sam and Rowena worked out a new and improved spell to summon a Prince of Hell. It had to precise; as Rowena had suggested using your blood, you were hoping to god it'd work the way you needed it to.

In most cases, the recipient being summoned could appear at anytime afterward, and _anywhere_ …that was a risk you couldn't afford to take, not with the kind of power Asmodeus held.

You sat next to Cas, who was beside Crowley at the table. Sam had taken Dean to the library with he and Rowena, to ensure he knew exactly what was needed (and how to paint them out _exactly_ , Sam had said).

Toying with the hem of your black t-shirt, you realized the v-neck cut showed more cleavage than you liked- especially on a day like this.

Castiel sighed next to you. He had been quiet all morning, and you wondered if you should re-think your approach to meeting your Father.

"You okay?" You questioned him.

He pressed his lips into a flat line, but his eyes remained loving and friendly on you. "Yes, I'm…uncertain, that's all. You're sure you want to go through with this?"

You nodded. "Yeah…I am. It's the only plan we've got right? Either we talk him out of hunting me down for the rest of my life, or-" Crowley's salty words cut you off.

"- **and** convincing him to keep his bloody paws **off my throne!** " His voice carried far in the room, but it didn't alarm you- all of you were used to his insulting outbursts.

You rolled your eyes, giving a groaning response to him. "Ugh! _Yes, Crowley!_ We will attempt to talk him out of my taking your filthy fucking throne!" You spat him a look of disgust around Cas, who sat back in his chair allowing you to with pleasure.

"Anyways…as I was saying: It's either this, or… **letting** him find me outside of the bunker…" You let words trails off.

Castiel folded his hands in front of him. "I've gone over it again and again in my mind. I'd like to say Crowley's right, that this isn't a fool-proof plan…but the latter…" He paused in thought and stared down.

"…You can't stay down in this bunker forever. I know that. So as I've said before- I've got your back." He reached over to you, placing one of his hands on top of yours like he had just a couple nights before.

It was comforting even though he was always cold. As his blue eyes bore into you, you realized he always seemed to look at you a certain way, like he knew something you didn't. His gazes were always filled with wisdom, respect, …or maybe it was love? Understanding the Angel wasn't important to you, though; all that mattered was he was there.

"Spare me the theatrics, you dim-wits!" Crowley's gravelly voice broke through the air, making Cas grit his teeth in anger.

Castiel stood from his chair quietly, turning to Crowley. His head leaned back to look up at the Angel towering over him dominantly.

Cas's lip curled down at him. "Speak another word, and I'll feed you to Asmodeus like a piece of meat to a wild dog." He threatened, and his low snarl sent a visible shudder through both yourself, and Crowley.

 _'Get 'em, tiger!'_

Right on time, Dean, Sam and Rowena re-entered the room.

 _'Thank god!'_ You thought.

"Are we almost set?" You asked, rising from your seat.

Rowena happily but nervously nodded to you. "Yes, just the actual warding itself is left."

You smiled at her thankfully as a thought pressed your mind. "Rowena, if you wanna go while we do this, I won't blame you. This isn't exactly safe…" You told her. It was the right thing to do, whether Asmodeus was your Father or not, he was still a Prince of Hell; and very powerful.

Shuffling over to you gracefully as her heels clicked, she pressed her red lips into an affectionate smile. "My dear…I've **always** got a trick up my sleeve. And I've not been a very, how do you say it… _scrupulous_ person, for most of my life. I'll be here, no matter what." She tossed one of her red curls over her shoulder and shrugged excitedly.

"Besides…Prince of Hell and what-not…maybe he needs a _Queen_ _?"_ Rowena purred in laughter as Crowley made some god-awful gagging noise behind you.

Grinning at her light words, you nodded a thank you to her.

Dean stood behind Rowena, holding up pages you assumed were the sigils and symbols Sam and Rowena sketched out for you both.

You nodded to him as well. "Ready?"

He tilted his head to the side, gesturing for you to follow him. On your way past Sam, he patted you on the shoulder and said, "See ya in a bit."

* * *

Dean and yourself were almost done in the dungeon. The holy oil had been poured in overlapping circles all over the floor, just in case he didn't end up where you needed him. At first you thought it looked a little ridiculous, but then figured you couldn't be too careful.

It was getting exhausting having to keep mentally reminding yourself that Asmodeus was your Father; as Crowley told you so anyways. It made sense to you though, how your eyes were yellow when you really focused on your energy, or when you were emotional…nonetheless, it still scared the shit out of you.

"I'm almost done Dean." You glanced over your shoulder as you shook your red spray paint can vigorously, seeing him gathering up the four empty cans you'd already gone through.

He had shed his flannel halfway through warding the east wall, and you couldn't help looking at him every time he turned around. You knew you should be concentrating on the task at hand, but watching his muscles ripple through his t-shirt made your heart race in ways you shouldn't divulge.

"You should take your shirt off so you don't get paint all over it." You smirked wildly at your shrewdness as you finished up on the wall in front of you. You were glad you'd spoken it low enough to give yourself a 50-50 chance that he'd hear it.

"Whooaaa easy there tiger…" You heard him drop his can, and then felt his hands wrapping around your stomach.

You leaned back into him, exhausted from your 'extracurricular' activities the night before. Dean stood with you in his arms silent for a moment, then bent down to kiss your neck.

"We need to get started." His breath against your ear made you wish you could hit the pause button, just for a couple hours.

"I know…are you still with me on this?" You asked, lacing your fingers through his on your side.

"A hundred percent, princess."

* * *

The lot of you stood in the dungeon surrounding Rowena and Sam as they prepared to summon your Father. A stone bowl sat on a stool in front of the two of them, Rowena tossing in ingredients and herbs flamboyantly, and Sam performing the incantation flawlessly as expected (you secretly nicknamed him Hermione Granger).

Crowley stood between you and Cas, and Dean was by your side. Cas gave you a nod, and Dean had given you one of his confidence boosting pep talks moments before.

"(Y/n)…" Crowley nearly whispered at your side, leaning toward you. The handcuffs still bound him, and he was in the dungeon with you for no other than reason than knowing he didn't want to be.

You clenched your jaw. "What?" You growled back.

"There's still time to stop this. You don't know what'll happen…this has 'bad moon rising' written all over it." Crowley warned. You saw his eyes were sincere, and his tone was grave and almost sobering.

"Crowley…I'll kill you myself if you say another word." You replied to his grievous monition, paying it no heed.

 _'He asked me for help, and he's getting it. End of story.'_

Rowena motioned over to you, jolting you out of your blank stare at the bowl. "We're ready, (y/n)."

You went to her side, presenting her the palm of your hand. As promised, she and Sam found a way to link your blood to the spell; hopefully ensuring Asmodeus would be compelled to come to your precise location, and nowhere else in the bunker.

You nodded to her as she presented her familiarly old, but ridiculously sharp (you knew from experience) dagger, slicing it across your hand quickly.

Wincing a bit at the sting, you stretched your hand out over the bowl letting it trickle down into it.

"Now, Samuel." Rowena ordered Sam to conclude, and he chanted something else you couldn't begin to fathom.

The bowl lit brilliantly with sparks that shot out around it, leaving a small feeble flame in it's place.

Dean moved forward beside you as every person in the dungeon held their breath in suspense. He grabbed your other hand and squeezed it hard in reassurance.

Your eyes were glued to the empty space before you, awaiting to see a Prince of Hell appear at any second. Your palms were sweating, and you grasped Dean's hand tighter the longer the wait progressed.

Sam shot you a confused look, and you wondered if the summoning spell worked at all; when suddenly, the sound of feet hitting the floor sounded.

And there he was.

A man stood before you all, right where you hoped he'd be. He was tall and lean, looked to be in his mid-40's, wearing a modern-cut suit, all in black. His shoes shone so bright they were almost the first thing you noticed.  
Thick, dark blonde hair was styled slicked back against his head, matching his short-trimmed facial hair.

"I'd ask to whom I owe the pleasure, but…I already know you are." He stayed put as no one dared to speak a word, and he flashed an endearing grin at you with blinding white teeth; he was speaking to you, and you only. You were so enamored by his presence, you almost forgot…

You took a quick stride forward, presenting your lighter. Lighting it quickly, you tossed it to the floor just in front your feet. Asmodeus chuckled to himself, and watched as the Holy Oil surrounding him came to life.

The flames moved swiftly around the rings, igniting nearly the entire dungeon floor with colossal holy fire.

It was up to you now.

Asmodeus rose his gaze from the flames, his features illuminating in an orange-yellow glow. His eyes fell on you, and much to your relief, they seemed kind for the most part.

"Pumpkin…I'm glad you found me." He said with a deep masculine voice, smiling gently with his bright green eyes.

You shrank a little when he spoke. "Are you Asmodeus, the-" He interrupted you.

"-the Prince of Hell, God of Lust himself? Yes precious, I am…and I've been dying to meet you." His honeyed voice was dripping with ego, and you reminded yourself not to say anything you usually would have.

You shifted your stance. "Look, not to be straightforward and sound all cliche', but…are you my father?" You forced the words out of you like an exorcism.

"And who told you that, might I ask?" He replied, his modern English accent precise.

You cleared your throat and didn't dare to look at Crowley. If Asmodeus had common sense, after a quick 'eeny-meeny-miny-mo' he would figure it out himself, but you didn't want to chance it.

Before you could think of what to say however, he answered for you. "Ahh. The cockroach crawled out of his pit…" He shifted his eyes to Crowley, who straightened his posture immediately.

"So is it true?" You said boldly, attempting to regain his attention, while sensing Dean flinch behind you.

It worked, and he refocused his gaze to you. "It's true. But that's not the only reason you called me, is it?" He knowingly raised an eyebrow at you, a smirk forming with it.

"No, it's not…but I want to ask you something before we get to that…" You tried to swallow the lump in your throat, crossing your arms over your mid-section. The flames still licked at the air, the glow of them lighting your face eerily as you stood so close to them.

"…Why haven't you tried contacting me, before this? All those years after my Mom…I-I've just wondered about you my whole life. It would've been nice knowing you were there…" Your voice was timid, your form sheepish as your shoulders sunk at your own words.

Your Father locked his eyes on yours, his demeanor shifting from charismatic to intimidating in just moments.

"Oh, **please**. Don't even start on the 'absent father' **bullshit** with me!" He was fuming, causing Dean to move closer to you, as you jumped at his sudden outburst.

You remained silent, deciding to let him throw his temper tantrum and not get in the way.

Asmodeus ran his hand through his thick blonde hair, ruffling the style just a bit. He shook his head at you, then continued.

"You didn't _need_ me…you've never needed anyone. And _**that is what makes you dangerous, (Y/n).**_ When I met your _whore_ of a mother-"

"-Don't talk about her like that!" You cut his words off, barking yours back at him.

He rose his hands in the air, palms facing you to signify he'd restrain his insults. Flashing his green eyes at you, he opened his mouth again.

"When I met you _r…_ _'dear mother'_ _…_ I could _**feel**_ you in my loins, I could _**taste**_ the power we would share! And now that you're of age, a woman, we can reclaim our rightful place-"

"-In **Hell?** " You were blinking back tears as your said the words. This wasn't going the way you'd hoped…

You quickly raked the tears away, remembering literally everyone you cared about was watching you right now; you didn't want to be weak…again.

Your Father nodded at you, a devilish grin splaying out on his lips. "Yes darling, Hell. It's ours for the taking…" He glanced at Crowley, who shrank back, then returned his cold eyes to you.

"You know, when I heard you were seen with Crowley, I was hopeful for you; not that he would be my top pick for you…I mean being a woman with your power, you could have **any** man or woman you wanted. In Hell, that is."

He paused, earning a disgusted look from just about everyone in the room, not including Crowley- who glanced at you just long enough to send you a perverted wink.

 _'Ohhh gross.'_

Asmodeus looked at Castiel and Sam briefly, then to Dean, eyeing him up and down as he ground his teeth.

"But, as rumors prove true, you've chosen the _**Winchesters**_! Over everyone else in the world…you found **them.** "

His eyes narrowed on Dean, who wasn't frightened in the least- he ate scumbags like him for breakfast. And that's how you saw your own father now…a _scumbag_.

Dean rose his hand, pouting his lips with sarcasm as if asking to speak.

"Actually, uh, we found **her**. Yeah, we rescued her from the demons you ordered to **torture her**." He finished with a smug smile, puffing his chest out a bit. He placed his hand on the small of your back to show support.

Asmodeus glowered at Dean, his upper lip curling angrily. "No, you **_deflowered her_** , Winchester!"

 _'Fuck.'_

You half-expected Dean to pull away from you then, but instead he stood his ground. The room fell silent for a moment, except for the crackling of the fire and flames feeding on the Holy Oil.

Dean tightened his grip around the back of your waist. "Yeah, well…I love her. And she loves me too. Besides, you weren't exactly around for me to ask your _permission_ _…"_

Your heart fluttered hearing Dean say that out loud, not only to your father, but in front of everyone else. You stood taller, showing affirmation to Dean's words.

Asmodeus lifted his chin threateningly. "Boy, I will skin you alive where you stand-"

You roared at him, taking a step closer to the flames.

" _ **Stop!**_ Please, Dad- Asmodeus, whatever the hell I'm supposed to call you- I'm not going with you. I have a **life** here, people I love. And if you ever cared about me at all, you'll let me be."

Cocking his head to one side, he looked like he was weighing your statement in his head. "I made you, doll. You _belong to me._ You're the 'Hammer to my Thor', (Y/n)! You're alive for one purpose; ** _you…are…a…weapon._** "

Your pulse quickened, and your chest rose and fell heavily with rage. "Fuck you."

Asmodeus rolled his eyes with amusement, mocking you.

"(Y/n)…you have a **throne** waiting for you! Armies upon armies of Demons and monsters at your fingertips…and you'll throw it all way… for this? For **them?...** " He grew angrier, taking a step closer to the flames.

"...For a hunter with a rotting liver? The _best_ he has to offer you is a weak, unfulfilled life. Maybe you'll have a couple of brats along the way; but you will perish, dear. You'll be stashed away in this bunker for the _rest of your life_ _."_ Your Father's words stung, taking your breath away as he spat them in your face.

 _'Looks like I don't need to worry about Father's Day after all.'_

"I'll make this easy for you- come with me, and I'll let your friends and your boy toy live. If you don't… I'll kill every last one of them; starting with the Witch, then the Angel…and I'll finish with _**you**_."

You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling Dean's arm on you tighten further.

"So what's it gonna be…your Father, or _them_?" He questioned.

Glancing up to Dean, you saw the sternness on his face, but his eyes were begging you to stand your ground. He made you promise him before all this, that you wouldn't take a deal from him if things went awry; that you'd stand up for yourself, for both of you.  
You reminded yourself of the warding and holy fire surrounding Asmodeus; he can't hurt you here, not right now at least.

You met your father's hard, calculating gaze, and answered him.

 **"I don't have a Father."**

The Prince of Hell ran his tongue over his teeth, shaking his head furiously; he looked like he was going to implode. He stared you down one more time, clenching and unclenching his fists insidiously. **"So be it."**

Asmodeus's words had just left his lips when you all braced for whatever was about to happen. Drawing in an enormous breath, he rose his right hand in the air, fingers expertly poised…

 ** _SNAP._**

With a snap of his fingers, the Holy Fire surrounding him extinguished all at once. Utterly pleased with himself, he surveyed the flameless ground around him, then looked up to you with sinister enthusiasm.

"What…no applause?" He grinned at you all, advancing toward you with a couple of steps.

Every one of your stayed quiet and frozen in place; you had no backup plan, nothing.  
You looked at Dean out of the corner of your eye, his jaw clenched, ready to attack. He swept in front of you, holding you back behind him with his right arm.

Beside you, Rowena caught your eye. Her expression was dismal, but she gave you a sad smile, as if she was saying 'We tried our best' in defeat.

Castiel and Sam stood on the other side of Rowena, wearing the same 'we're shit out of luck' expressions as she was.

"Well, this has been fun…but I have promises to keep." Asmodeus spoke, focusing his attention to Rowena. She stood firm against his intimidation. As you realized what he was about to do, your heart jumped in your throat.

You tried to move, but Dean held you behind him. " **No!** "

Asmodeus rose his arm again quickly and flicked his wrist, snapping Rowena's neck instantaneously with a resounding _'crack'_ , sending her limp body to the floor.

You closed your eyes, knowing she was dead. _'_ _ _What have I done?!'__

"Please stop! I'll go! **I'll go!** " You scream at him, shoving Dean as hard as you could toward Sam and Cas.

You weren't about to see all of the people you cared about slaughtered because of you. You'd find some other way.

Asmodeus chuckled, standing feet from you now. "Sweet, sweet child of mine…the time for bargaining is over." His expression fell solemn, turning to the wards and sigils on the walls. "Those can't hold me, just to let you know…now, where's the Angel…?"

You couldn't catch your breath, stammering, your thoughts running wild.

You closed your eyes quickly, trying to regain the focus you needed to use your inner strength. You imagined what you did to the punching bag; only replacing it with the son of a bitch about to kill your friends.

Opening your eyes, you knew they were yellow by the way your father looked at you. First he was surprised, then he seemed impressed.

"You can try, dear-"

Your right arm lashed out, hurling him to the back of the room and colliding with the wall. Your head was spinning…it took a lot out of you. You keeled over, leaning on your knees for support as Dean rushed to your side to help you straighten.

Your Father was eliciting groans and curses under his breath as he stood again, stomping toward you with fury.

Trying to push Dean away, he didn't budge. " **Go! Get them out of here!** " You ordered, gesturing to Sam and Cas standing several feet away.

Dean only looked at you with purpose, and said 'No'. Sam and Cas replied by keeping their feet planted where they were; none of them were leaving you to face this mad man alone.

Crowley was plastering himself against the wall like a coward, attempting not to be noticed by Asmodeus.

You grimaced as you realized they weren't going to leave you. He was feet from you now, as you tried to recover yourself from the dizziness.

Seizing your arm out at your father a second time, he flinched- but then sneered at you. Withdrawing your arm and blinking, your eyes returned to (y/e/c), and you looked at Dean in defeat.

"You're outta juice for now, doll…you're new at this, aren't you?" He taunted you, his eyes gleaming with malice. "Just for that little stunt, you're Angel _and_ your boyfriend are next."

Your screams filled the room as he swept his arm through the air, slamming Dean and Castiel against the wall, completely immobilized.

Sam charged him, lunging with everything he had- and with another sweep of his arm, Sam was thrust against the floor with a cry of pain as he collided with the concrete.

As your Father's focus was swayed to Sam, he quickly returned his attention back to Cas and Dean. Castiel's eyes widened, and let out an echoing cry, as he mustered everything he could to grab onto Dean's arm; and in a flash, he and Dean were gone.

You blinked rapidly, your eyes darting over the wall with confusion. Then, it dawned on you what had just happened.

"Ha! Your boyfriends just **left you!** " Asmodeus whirled around on his heels in laughter to face you. "The Angel just 'whooshed' 'em both outta here…just like _that!_ _"_ His laughter at you utter loss for words bounced off the walls, teasing you.

 _'_ _ _They left me.'__

You could sense Crowley still behind you aways, most likely still trying his damnedest to blend in with the walls. Sam had picked himself up and stood, knees bent, ready to fight. His nostrils were flaring, a pained look plaguing his face while he tried to catch his breath.

You didn't try to beg, or get him to stop; he wasn't going to, and you knew that now.

Asmodeus was at arm's length with you now, just chuckling and hee-hawing at your misery like the bastard he was.

"Ya know, let's play a game…it'll make this more fun- for me, not for you obviously…" He was still chortling, hand on his stomach to calm himself. "Let's play…cat and mouse. I like that one." He winked at you. You ground your teeth, giving him your best bitch face yet.

When you didn't reply he moved closer to you, the laughter leaving him altogether. "If you don't play along nicely, I'll kill Sam right here, **right now.** " He muttered in annoyance.

Your Father exhaled slowly, and you could almost feel his hot breath on your face. Looking at him, you could see he wasn't joking. His eerie expression sent chills through you, and he spoke again, low and threatening.  
" **Run**."

For a brief moment you were frozen, unwilling to believe what was happening. Crowley scuttled out the door before you could blink; his handcuffs clanging together as he went. Sam darted over to you in just a few steps and snatched up your hand, hauling you out of the dungeon behind him.

Just before he could drag you past the doorway, you whipped your head around to catch one more glimpse of your Father.

His eyes were vicious when they probed yours, wearing a wicked smile that betrayed all innocence.

In that fleeting moment, you thought to yourself, _**'**_ _ _ **Sometimes, the monsters win…'**__

* * *

Hand in hand, you and Sam raced toward the door out of the bunker; Crowley trotting behind you struggling to keep up. At last, you both were nearly sliding around the corner, the landing and stairs in sight.

"C'mon!" Sam yelled back to you, yanking on your arm as he sprinted even faster.

 _'_ _ _Almost there. Almost there…'__

Your legs were burning with the adrenaline, closing in on the stairway that lead to safety. You dared to glance behind you, ensuring Crowley was the only monster there; but he didn't seem all that monstrous anymore.

Finally, the three of you were tearing past the giant table you loved so much, freedom in sight; when suddenly and without warning, a distant and mysterious humming sounded throughout the bunker.  
The lights flickered once, then everything around you fell. It was a maddening, sinister darkness that was something out of a nightmare. You, Sam and Crowley came to a screeching halt, plowing into each other.

Sam was jerking you behind him every which way as he turned about in a circle trying to see. You could hear his shaky voice saying, 'No, no no…' over and over.

The pitch-black darkness lasted briefly before dozens of red lights illuminated with an astounding flash; a shrill winding sound of a generator powering up with it. Joining in the ominous melody, low-toned alarms buzzed loudly from every direction.

Pulling away, you saw Sam's face in the red glow. His eyes were hopeless and despondent as he looked down at you, his lips turned downward in despair.

"We're locked in…he cut the power." His pulse was so rapid that you could hear his heart beating. "If we go now to turn it back on, he'll be waiting for us…you guys need to hide. I'll go." He said beneath his breath.

" **No!** " You scolded him in a whisper, grasping onto his forearm. "Dean and Cas left, don't you leave too-"

He cut you off, grabbing your face with both of his hands, his hazel eyes piercing yours urgently.  
" **Don't**. They'll be back. Cas wouldn't leave unless he had a **plan**." Sam let go of your face, seeing the fear in your eyes.

"Okay. We all hide." He released a breath he'd been holding this entire time, collecting your hand again, ready to lead the way.

You nodded, looking to Crowley as he agreed dismally. Sam quietly fished a set of keys out of his pocket, passing them to Crowley with a look of disapproval. Seeing they were the keys to the handcuffs, you knew it was the right thing for him to do. You couldn't leave him defenseless, whether you hated him or not; and either way, he was certainly the lesser evil at this point.

 _'An enemy of my enemy is a friend…'_ You thought.

Sam pointed, ordering Crowley to take the kitchen. He rolled his eyes, but quickly padded off in that direction.

The two of you headed back to the hallway you'd come galloping through moments before. Sam steered you right this time, and that was when you heard Asmodeus's voice echoing in the distance behind you.

He was toying with you, calling out to you like a psychopath at the climax of a horror film; and you'd be damned if you didn't cringe with terror.

"Oh, (Y/n)! I thought I'd make things even **more interesting…** Dammit, the looks on your faces when the lights went out were priceless!" Your father's voice sung out over the buzzing alarms, teasing you with carelessness.

Both of you kept going. As the red glow flashed overhead, you could see his jaw clenching just like Dean's when he was angry.

Sam led you around a corner and down the hallway that would eventually take you back to the dungeon.

"Sweetheart…come out, come out, wherever you are…" Asmodeus chided with a hint of eagerness, making your blood boil.  
"You know, I've got all the time in the world down here with you! We could catch up, get to know each other…" His voice trailed off, falling further behind you to your relief. "…or I could rip you apart, _limb from limb_ …"

Sam pulled you further down the hallway, knowing too that the dungeon was the safest place at the moment… if you could get there in time.

You heard your father's voice again, drifting eerily through the air, and sounding frighteningly closer.

"…You know, I _love_ the Rolling Stones…don't you, Dear…?" He called. Your brows furrowed, thinking to yourself that he truly was a mad man.

You turned another corner, both of your feet stalking as quickly as they could without making too much sound; and just then, you heard him singing.

"…Time is on my side… **yes it is…** Time is on my side…yes it is…" The Prince's voice flowed flawlessly, bouncing off the walls and echoing toward you.

His haunting song prevailed, and the only thing you could do was to keep moving. "…Now you always say…that you want to be free…But you'll come running…you'll come running back to me…"

"…Go ahead, go ahead and light up the town…remember, I'll **always be around…** …time is on my side… **yes it is…** "

Holding back tears, you were steps away from the dungeon door at last. It was left open still, and Sam glanced back at you, quickly ushering you in first.

Once you made it in, Sam stayed put just outside the door way. His head turned from side to side on the look out for Asmodeus, then he looked at you.

"I'm gonna try to get the power on, okay? __Stay. Here__ _._ " He ordered in a whisper. You shook your head in protest, moving forward to stop him when he held his hand up at you.

"(Y/n), I'll be fine-" Sam's words ended abruptly, when out of nowhere a dagger was plunged into his side.

 _Asmodeus._

The outward thrust of the dagger sent his blood spattering onto your face as Sam fell forward; revealing Asmodeus leering behind him, wielding the weapon.

Your blood-curdling screams filled the dungeon, not caring if you too were about to be slaughtered. You threw yourself down next to Sam, crying out his name.

"I told you this would happen, (Y/n)…" Your father said to you, wiping the dagger off on his suit-jacket's sleeve wickedly.

Sam crashed down to his right side, gasping for breath between cries of pain. You ignored Asmodeus, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of your attention. Out of instinct you threw your black t-shirt over your head, leaving you in your tank top, and bundled it up against Sam's wound.

"Sam, **stay with me!** Stay with me, you're okay! Breathe…just breathe!" Tears were flooding down your cheeks, watching your friends face contort and wince in agony.

You looked up to the villain onlooking your living nightmare with sheer pleasure, who jeered down at you with insulting green eyes.  
Hearing heavy footsteps treading quickly outside the door, Asmodeus turned at the sound. In that exact moment, you watched as Crowley hurled himself into him arduously- the sound of bodies crashing to the floor resounding before you.

Freezing where you were for a moment kneeling next to Sam on the floor, you heard Crowley and your father struggling outside the door.

"Sam, c'mon we gotta go, but I can't carry you-" Your fearful voice trembled as you did your best to sit him up, holding onto your shirt against the bleeding gape in his side.

At your words Sam moved, like he'd been trained for this moment his whole life. You groaned as you helped heave the giant to his feet, draping one arm over your shoulder to sustain him.

"You with me?" You asked him, ready to move past the doorway; still hearing the punches and curses from the onslaught on the other side.

Sam tried to nod in reply, and you stepped through the doorway.

You turned your head to the left; you saw an exerted Crowley to his back with you facing your father, who was splayed on the floor and bloodied. He was the only thing standing in between him and you, but it looked as if he was drained already from the fight. A demon going against a Prince of Hell, no matter how powerful, wouldn't last long.

As Crowley sensed you behind him, Asmodeus disappeared before your eyes. The King of Hell let out a growl at the empty floor where your father had just been. You would be glad he was gone if you'd known where fuck he went off to…being taken by surprise again couldn't be an option.

"I'll find the bastard…take Moose and run!" Crowley tilted his head in your direction and commanded you with red eyes; and you moved your asses as fast as you could.

* * *

"(Y/n) slow down…I can't-" Sam tried to speak through clenched teeth.

You could still hear the ongoing assault in the bunker, a better distance from you now. You were passing the table, heading for the library. It was the only other place you could think of where you wouldn't be trapped rats, seeing as how it had two exits.

He was leaning on you harder now, and your muscles burnt terribly trying to hold him up.

 _'Cas, Dean, where are you?!'_ You screamed internally.

"Shh- don't try to talk, we're almost there." You pressed Sam to keep going, because you knew there was no way in hell you could carry him.

Dragging your feet and barely there, you were finally in the library. You didn't bother closing the doors behind you, mostly because you couldn't; you needed to help your friend first.

The two of you made it as far as the third table before Sam collapsed. You toppled down to the floor along with him as the immense weight of him nearly crushed you.

You righted yourself, moving first to apply pressure to the wound.

The lights were still flashing, red death glows screaming ' _war_ ' blinking at you, reminding you of the impending doom with every flare.

Your gaze darted from his wound to his face, his eyes were closed now after collapsing, and his breathing was rigid.

"Sam! No no no!" You reached out, tapping his cheeks with your palms in attempt to wake him…but he didn't.

 _'No, no no!'_

* * *

You wished to god you knew how to turn the power back on…you could leave him to find the utility room, get him to a hospital- but if you were killed along the way, Sam would be left unprotected.

Something snapped in you then. Your chest tightened, your throat felt like it was closing…and you couldn't control it. The rage, the agony at watching one of your best friends dying, seeing Rowena die…from a call _you_ made to summon a god damn Prince of Hell into the bunker. You didn't care anymore if he found you; you'd kill him when he did. But the tiny voice in your head was telling you that you weren't strong enough, taunting you…

 _'Locked in. We're locked in.'_

 ** _"Sam!"_** You could barely hear your own screams over the ear-piercing alarms resonating through the bunker. Your hands shook furiously while you gripped your t-shirt you'd made into a makeshift bandage, and put as much pressure on his wound as you possibly could. You felt hot tears surging down your face, the bright and eery red lights still blinking with rage.

 _'_ _ _Check his pulse…'__ You shifted your weight to your left hand to free your right one.

Your hand, trembling and blood-stained, felt around his neck feverishly for a pulse; it was faint, but it was there.

" _ **Sam!**_ **Dammit, say something! S-Stay with me,** _ **please!"**_ You felt knives in your windpipe, while you implored an unconscious Sam through uncontrollable sobs. You returned your attention to his wounded side, and exerted more pressure to it again.

Your eyes widened at the sight of the younger Winchester's blood, as it soaked through his shirt and rose between your fingers, trickling down the backs of your hands.

Looking up, you whipped your head from side to side trying to see through blurred vision. The library re-illuminated, flooded with a red glow as the lights above you flashed again.

 ** _"Crowley!"_** Your hoarse voice roared out at the top of your lungs- you needed him. Needed to know at least he was alive. More broken sobs escaped your throat, your teary eyes returning to Sam's near-lifeless body on the floor next to you. Still holding your body's weight into his wound, you cried his name out again.

 **"Sam! Please-** no no no no…" Then, you heard a noise.

 _'Running…someone's running toward me…'_

You tried to decide whether or not you should hide, but then it dawned on you that it didn't matter- dead or alive, you weren't leaving Sam.

"(Y/n)? Is Moose…?" Crowley's british accent sliced through the air, and you breathed an enormous sigh of somewhat relief.

"Crowley, __help him!"__ You begged, new and old tears mixing with the dried blood spatter on your face as they fell. He stood before you now and crouched to his knees.

"You know I can't love…the bastard took everything I had. He could be back at anytime..." You watched as his features were lit by the red lights, and you saw the King of Hell was as sad, desperate, and afraid as you were.

You gasped as the shirt you were holding to Sam's side slipped, dripping with crimson. You cried out, replacing it as quickly as you could. You knew there was no use, but you weren't giving up. Not yet.

"Anything from Cas yet? Or Dean? Where's my Dad?" Your horrified eyes searched Crowley's, your face contorting in pain when you could see they held no good news.

"Couldn't find him…and nothing from the dynamic duo." You bit down hard on your lip. It took you by surprise when Crowley hung his head.

 _'Pulse! Check his pulse!'_

You shook yourself, pulling it together- you felt around Sam's neck again for his pulse, and it was weaker.

You closed your eyes. _'This is all my fault.'_

You couldn't even cry anymore; your breath hitched and your entire body shook as you fell back to your heels. Crowley's hand was on your shoulder in an instant.

"You should've listened to me, love."

* * *

===PRESENT TIME===

* * *

You ignored Crowley's harshness, even though his words sounded kind.

"You can fix this, (Y/n). You _can_." He said, leaning down trying to catch your eye.

You shook your head with a huff. "How the **hell do I do that?** " You replied.

"You can heal him, you just have to _focus_. If I could show you, you know I would, but…you have to want it. And I know you do…so just **try**. Couldn't hurt." Crowley spoke in a hushed tone, gripping your forearm to guide your hand back to Sam's wound.

Shooting him an uneasy look, you followed his direction. "Remember (y/n), just see it in your mind- want it. Make it happen." He urged you on, releasing his hand from your arm to let you try.

Inhaling then releasing your unsure breath, you closed your eyes and pressed your hand into Sam's wound.

You imagined healing him in your mind, thinking of what you thought it'd look like; his insides healed, his skin merging back together, and waking up. God, what you'd give to see him open his eyes. You not only wanted it, you _needed_ it. You loved him, because he was your friend, and Dean's brother…and you knew how much Dean needed him.

Your thoughts were wandering to Dean, as if you wanted to save his brother not for yourself, but for Dean…and because it wasn't Sam's time. Death couldn't have him yet.

"(Y/n)…" Crowley's small but stern voice broke your train of thought, and you opened your eyes.

Disbelief flooded your face, and for a second you couldn't breathe. The most beautiful golden glow was fading; leaving Sam's wound, and traveling back into the palm of your hand, where it disappeared.

Your eyes darted to Crowley's. He was wearing the proudest grin a King of Hell could wear, and you smiled warily; wondering if you'd really done it, when Sam's eyes fluttered open.

"(Y/n)? What the hell happened?" Sam looked at you, hoisting himself up to rest on his elbows.

Holding a finger to your lips to tell him to be quiet, you slowly removed the t-shirt that was soaked in his blood covering his injury.  
And there it was, you'd done it. The gaping stab wound was gone, the blood on his skin the only reminder of it remaining.

"I'll be damned…I didn't think you could do it." Crowley said sarcastically, shooting you a wink.

Sam lifted his shirt, the events that took place dawning on him suddenly. His eyes widened as he looked up at you.

"Did-Did you _heal_ me?" He asked, his brows furrowed in question.

You nodded vigorously as more tears, _joyful_ tears, sprung from your eyes. You crashed down into him with a bear hug, trying to contain your happy sobs.

 _'I did it…I really fucking did it. He's alright…'_ You thought.

A new voice sounded in the library's doorway, and your joy was torn from you instantly.

"Isn't this cute?" Asmodeus stood, looming there like he was getting off on destroying your small win.

Crowley squeezed his eyes shut in frustration, and you all rose from the floor to face him.

The three of you soaked in the scene before you, Sam towering behind you and Crowley at your side.

And every single one of you smiled enormous grins, and you laughed out loud softly.  
There stood your Father in the doorway...you should've been frightened, or at least angry- but you weren't. Because unbeknownst to him, Dean and Castiel were standing behind him.

Asmodeus chuckled, shifting his hands to his hips in disregard. "What's so funny to you…your imminent deaths?" He scoffed, his devilish eyes searching yours.

"No, I'm smiling because…" You said, sauntering toward him with a stride. "My boyfriend is behind you."


	18. Enemy Of My Enemy

*  
Asmodeus chuckled, shifting his hands to his hips in disregard. "What's so funny to you…your imminent deaths?" He scoffed, his devilish eyes searching yours.

"No, I'm smiling because…" You said, sauntering toward him with a stride. "My boyfriend is behind you."

Cas chimed in behind him: "And the Angel."

His face lit with fury, and he whirled around on his heels. You and Sam were rushing forward to join the barrage, when Dean unveiled a long, lance like spear from behind his back.

The instant he came about to face them, Dean throttled the spear forward into his abdomen. The weapon pierced him with a sickening crunch, and your father froze; electrifying lights strobed in long threads away from the spear, stretching across his mid-section.

Asmodeus's eyes shot down to where he was skewered. Dean's face was pale, and you knew he was wondering why he was still alive; he cackled a nervous robust laugh, and took a step backward.

Your father cockily eyed Dean and Cas, gripping the spear's wooden handle with his right hand. Adding to your terror, you watched as he yanked it out of him with a cry; you cringed at the sound of muscles shredding and cartilage cracking. Gouts of blood coated the golden tip, complimenting the engraved runes as they bared themselves fiendishly.

"Now where the hell did you find **that** , Angel…?" His voice was tight with his words, tossing the spear at the their feet.

Castiel nor Dean replied, widening their stance.

"You really think **Lucifer's Spear** will be my undoing?!" He growled, a vein protruding in his forehead as his face reddened. Although he was alive, he was **hurt** \- and badly.

Keeling over, he leaned on his thighs for support as he muttered foul curses at you all beneath his breath. His body heaved, still reeling from the impalement as he dropped all the way to his knees.

"Lucifer sort of…left it top-side by mistake- Cas here kept it nice and warm for him." Dean said to him with a smug, wide-mouthed grin; it was bold, but he knew he had the upper hand now.

Asmodeus glanced behind him as he roared and writhed with anguish- realizing you, Sam and Crowley were still there; and he had nowhere to go. You were circling like sharks around him, and he was your dinner.

With a fell gaze and huffing his breath, he looked down his nose at the weapon with disdain before twisting back around to see you.

"'Till next time, pumpkin." With a wink, Asmodeus vanished before you. His blood still dawned the floor where he'd been, and the rest of you fell silent with your mouths agape. His abrupt disappearance left the five of you staring at the empty space; listening to the melody of moaning alarms, and breaths of relief.

Dean looked like he was on the verge of breaking when he broke into stride toward you. All the emotions came crashing down as you realized just how close you came to really losing this battle. He reached out and pulled you into him hard, squeezing his eyes shut as he held onto you.

Your lip trembled and you sniffed, fighting back the tears. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry." You spoke into Dean's chest.

Feeling him shake his head in negation, you looked up. "You've got nothing to be sorry about, princess. We did our best."

 **"I'd say we did fairly well by the looks of it…"** You gasped, hearing a feminine Scottish accent chiming lightly behind you.

Looming in the doorway poised with perfection, stood Rowena, wearing a wickedly crooked grin. "I'll told yah, I've **always** got somethin' up my sleeve."

You could've cried at the sight of her, had there been anymore tears to spare. She sauntered toward you, and you met her in the middle, crashing into her petite form with a hug.

"I'm sorry my dad was an asshole…" You half-sobbed half-laughed into her shoulder.

"No, **he'll** be sorry he was an ass." She laughed, pulling away from you- but you knew she wasn't joking…and you were right there with her.

"How are you alive…?" Sam questioned her, moving in from the side for a brief hug.

She shrugged her shoulders in response. "Oh, you know…a little protection spell, that's all."

Crowley stepped forward, his expression was conceited but slightly cheerful…as always. "Doesn't seem like a **little** protection spell to me…but either way- congratulations on **not** being dead." He nodded, and for a moment Rowena smiled at him before it faded from her face to give him her usual look of disgust.

 _'I guess that's how they say 'I love you' to each other…'_ You thought.

Just then, Cas's eyes caught yours, and he moved toward you purposefully, stopping just before he reached you.  
"Are you alright?" He asked.

You smiled brightly, even among the dried tears and blood spatter staining your face. "I'm fine, Cas." You drew him into you and squeezed him with gratitude, but he quickly pulled away.

His guilt-ridden eyes could've smote you then and there. "I'm sorry for leaving (Y/n). I had to…I had to take your Father's leverage against you- and that was Dean…" You looked down at your feet, unwilling to believe he was actually apologizing for saving your lives, but he was.

"…I'm also sorry for not thinking to retrieve the spear _before_ we needed it-" You held up your hand to silence him.

"Don't apologize for saving the day, Cas. It's unbecoming…" You winked, sassing his mood in attempt to lift his spirits.

A restrained smile crept across his lips, reaching his eyes. You hugged him again, and this time he threw his arms around you, hugging you tightly back.

Dean and Sam clapped each other on the shoulders, celebrated the small victory. Only then did Dean really have a chance to look at Sam's torn and blood-soaked shirt.

"Sam, you okay? What happened?" He asked hastily.

Sam looked down to where his near-fatal wound had been, then smiled at you. "Uh, I got hurt. Really bad…but (Y/n) healed me." He responded.

Dean's gaze shot from Sam to you. "You **healed** him?" He said in disbelief while pointing to the tear in Sam's shirt.

You nodded as Crowley patted you on the back, like you'd just scored the winning point. "As a matter of fact…she did." He said to Dean, keeping his eyes on you. " _'Dumbo'_ here didn't need the feather to fly…it was in her all along."

"I'll be damned…" Dean said, smiling softly at you with thanks.

You cleared your throat, rejoining Dean at his side. "Let's uh…get the lights back on, shall we?"

That night, Sam had retrieved the greasiest burgers you'd ever eaten- and they tasted like god damned victory to you.

Dean even broke open a not-terribly-shitty bottle of bourbon, and that tasted even better than the burgers did.

You all had discussed what to do with Asmodeus still roaming free, but stopped the discussion short. Rowena had said something to the extent of wanting relish in the small win of the day, as it still 'hung fresh in the air'.

You knew he couldn't return without being summoned again, so you all were safe- for now.

Having showered the blood, sweat and tears away, you stood under the stream of scorching hot water raining down on you.

 _'I am never getting out.'_ You told yourself.

Your minor cuts and bruises were nothing compared to what they could have been. And every time you grazed one, you thought of you father- and what he'd done to Sam. Taking deep breaths attempting to push the thoughts away, you heard a knock at the bathroom door. You'd almost forgotten there was a dreamy, green-eyed Winchester who needed a shower, too.

"Almost done!" You hollered, turning under the stream of water to rinse the rest of the suds away. Your eyes followed the red and brown stains being washed down your legs, then down the drain.  
Closing your eyes, you turned in the water to wash your face. More so, you were attempting to cleanse away the memories.

You didn't realize someone was in the bathroom with you- until you felt a cool breeze hitting your backside as the shower door creaked open. Whirling yourself around, you collided into Dean.  
You had no time to register it was even him before he was kissing you. His hands met your hips instantly, pushing you into the cold shower wall- earning a yelp from you in surprise. Dean pulled away briefly, gazing at you.

"I thought I lost you today." He said, with a low tone as his thumb caressed your cheek.

"Me too." Your face was straight, unable to escape the things you felt as you pictured your father in your mind.

Dean smiled tiredly down at you, and captured your mouth with his again passionately. Your lips were moving anxiously, and your tongues met in the middle of your steaming embrace. The water still rushed down on you both, making you slippery wet against one another.  
Your hold moved from his shoulders to around his neck, instinctively seeking more of him. Dean pressed you harder against the cold wall, and your closeness caused his member to harden against you.

Your breathing quickened as Dean's hands roamed over your skin more urgently. His fingers brushed against your hardened nipple rougher than they had before; but then let his hand cup your breast, massaging it gently.  
When his lips left yours and began descending to your earlobe, you knew you were done for.

Soft kisses feathered down your neck, then back up to your lips- leaving a tingling sensation in their wake. You could feel his erection grow firmer; and you whimpered at the feeling of emptiness that longed for him.

Sensing your need, Dean trailed his right hand down your side, rubbing and massaging the whole way. At last his fingers were dancing over your clitoris, making you gasp at how much you really needed this. The events of the day- the fear, the adrenaline, the let-down and the joy…this was **vital**. In this moment, you were essential to each other.

His assault on your bundle of nerves went on, the water allowing his fingers to slip freely back and forth. Dean pushed further, a guttural groan leaving him when he felt the wetness escaping you.  
Pushing one finger past your entrance, you leaned your head back against the shower; Dean's mouth taking advantage, and attacking your neck again.

Moan after soft moan escaped you, while he added another finger to the first. You gripped his shoulders, biting your lip until you thought it would bleed.

His kiss found yours again, as he ebbed his fingers inside of you back and forth, nearing the sweet spot they sought out. Just as you thought you were about to meet your undoing, you felt them slipping out of you, leaving you in shambles.

Your eyes shot open, meeting Dean's, begging him to do something. His face was stern with lust, and his hands reached around you to grip your ass firmly, fingertips digging in with need.

He carefully leveraged you against the wall, hoisting you up so you could wrap your legs around his waist.  
You stared at him for a second, nose to nose; until you felt the tip of him toying with your folds. Your stomach clenched, and you adjusted your legs' hold on his waist.

He was holding onto your backside so tightly, you were sure you'd find finger-tip shaped bruises on your ass later…and you didn't mind a bit.

Dean pushed his hardness into your opening, edging himself in, making an unearthly noise as he felt you stretch around him.  
Of course your sex with Dean thus far had been **incredible** … but you were beginning to realize you had little to no control in this position; something you'd never faced with _anyone._

At this angle, he could penetrate you deeper than he ever had; he was the only force controlling the pace, and the depth at which he would travel. The loss of power terrified you, but you couldn't bear the thought of giving this feeling up.  
The thought of him taking you this way made you shudder- with both fright, and excitement.

Dean must have sensed your apprehension, and he stilled halfway inside of you. All you could hear was both of your labored breathing and the water showering down on you.

"Hey…you okay (Y/n)?" Dean asked, his nose grazing yours. Your eyes were coaxed up to his, and he could see the worry in them. You nodded 'yes' quickly, but he kept his position and gave you a knowing look of his own.

"We can stop…" He started to say, but you shook your head 'no'- and pleaded him with your eyes to keep going.

He obliged by moving slowly, and with each gentle thrust, he traveled deeper. As he did, you felt your muscles straining to comply to his length's demands. They burned with delight, wanting badly to accept as he attempted to settle in you. But your dominant personality was rearing up inside, screaming 'danger'.

"Dean slow down…w-wait." You quickly stuttered out a protest, and Dean withdrew himself almost entirely in an instant.

"Ok-I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" Dean's words stumbled over each other, and his hand was brushing back your wet hair from your face; and his mouth went dry at the sight of yours. "…did I hurt you?"

Swallowing hard, you answered him. "No! No you didn't. It's…just that, I haven't done this before." Confusion laced his features briefly before understanding what you meant. His eyes softened on you, like he was breathing in your innocence- albeit wanting to take it for himself at the same time.

"I…I feel sort of _helpless_ like this…" You inwardly cursed yourself for sounding like a scared child. But you knew this man loved you, and he'd never judge you for it.

"It's okay princess…let's just stop for now-"

 _'Gahh no!'_

"No! I don't want that- I trust you."

Dean couldn't help but grin at your words. "You trust me?"

You nodded, as he held you there in limbo with him. "Yes…just tread lightly, okay?" You breathed out with a smirk.

Dean kissed you in response, then whispered in your ear. "Hang on to me, sweetheart."

And you did. You wrapped your arms tightly around his neck, moving your hips forward to give him better access. Closing your eyes again, he pushed you tighter against the shower wall for more leverage.  
His thrusts were soft, letting his hands under you control your movements on him. Dean kissed you fervently again, and at his touch you could feel the familiar coil inside you tightening.

"Jesus (Y/n)…you're so tight for me, baby…" He was grunting out, visibly restraining himself from unleashing on you.

He could feel you relax, and delved deeper. Your worries fled from you as the pleasure overthrew them, and your faith in Dean was once again reassured. He held you with purpose, listening to your body, somehow knowing exactly what you needed from him.  
You felt him grazing that 'oh-jesus' spot, and you cried his name for more. He grinned into the crook of your neck, and his teeth scraped your skin- almost sending you over the edge by itself. Your muscles clenched around his width; and you told yourself trusting this man was the best thing you'd ever done.

Driving into you harder now, he was buried in your sex, relishing at the sounds you were making. Your legs constricted tighter around his waist, and your heels dug into his back to urge his pace.

He was hitting that spot again... and you screamed out loud at the pleasure while he kept his movements perfectly on top of it. The sound of skin meeting skin echoed in the shower, your fingernails making marks in Dean's shoulder as you came closer to your release.

"Dean, _oh my god…!"_ You panted out, breathless and barely there.

His lips were on your neck again, making your voice crack half-way through an outward cry of want.

"You gonna come for me, sweetheart?" Dean was staring lustfully at you now, his gaze unwavering as you nodded in reply; his thrusts were quickening, and his grip around you tightening.

"Say it, princess." He ordered gruffly, and abruptly slowed his relentless gait, making your head lull back into the wall in despair.

"Y-Yes! **I'm gonna come Dean, fuck me!** " You yelled at the top of your lungs, giving zero fucks who heard you. Shower sex with Dean was your new favorite thing.

"That's right baby…" Dean growled out, plowing into you again and resuming his pace.

Your legs felt like they'd quit any second, and your arms trembled as the water began to run cold.  
Forcing you against the wall tighter, his length plunged into you repeatedly until you felt a welcoming throb release in your core. Moaning out and nearly losing your grasp on Dean, your orgasm overwhelmed you- and he followed right behind. He held you close, burying his pulsating cock inside you, as his warm climax filled you further.

His thrusts slowed, allowing you to come down from the mountain you just climbed. Easing in and out of you, each time withdrawing himself further.

"I **loved** that." You panted out, planting a soft kiss on Dean's lips.

"Mmmm…You and me both…" He purred out, and lifted you slightly to draw out of you.

Dean still held you as he nudged the shower door open with his shoulder, and carefully stepped out of the shower.  
He lowered you to the ground gently, snagging you both a towel from behind him. You bit your lip, blushing at your nakedness despite the very unholy act you'd just performed in the shower. You wrapped it around you as Dean toweled off, licking his lips at the sight of you.

You waited for him, leaning against the door- not with impatience, but with extremely weak legs- and he drew on a pair of boxers at last, turning to you.

You turned the doorknob and extended your hand to him. "Mr. Winchester?" You said playfully, ushering him toward the bed on the other side.

When you said it, something lit across his face- an idea maybe, or a memory -and you wondered if you said something wrong. He shook his head at you, reaching for you. In a flash he scooped you up, one arm behind your shoulders and one behind your knees- carrying you to the bed as you squealed in surprise.

Dean laid you down softly, the expression in his face changing again as he crept on top of you.

"You're a man of many emotions…" You told him, studying his face.

"A lot's goin' through my mind, sweetheart." He smiled.

"Like what?" You asked, knowing very well that in this job, a lot was _always_ on your mind.

"Well, for one, getting this towel off of you…" He winked. He slid his hand to the hem of it at your chest, gently tugging it open and waving it aside.  
You raised your eyebrows at him to go on. Dean ran his tongue over his teeth, making you want him again instantly. He reared back to grab the sheet, and fell to your side on the bed, pulling you in close.

He kissed your cheek, and you hummed back to him. "And, I'm _really_ glad you trusted me."

You were 'borrowing' Sam's laptop the next afternoon. You sat criss-crossed on Dean's bed with it in front of you looking for a case. The cabin fever was starting to take it's hold on you; and a criminally insane Father sounded easier to face than staying locked up any longer.

Traces of deaths or incidents that may have been your sort of thing kept popping up here and there, but nothing on your radar was screaming 'bingo!' at you- much to your disappointment.

A knock on the door made you jump, slamming it shut and stuffing it under Dean's pillow. You weren't **hiding** the fact you were looking for cases…you were just keeping it on the down-low, so you told yourself.

You hollered at the door. "Come in!"

Sam opened it, peeking around the room. "Where's Dean?"

You shrugged. "Garage, I think. Said something about tuning up Baby a little." You realized how awkwardly suspicious you looked just sitting there on the bed, twiddling your thumbs.

Sam nodded, looking to his left like he had something on his mind. "Oh, have you seen my laptop?"

You laughed, but shook your head no. "Nope, sure haven't. Sorry. And hey, why is Crowley **still here?** Doesn't he have Hell to run?"

Sam gave you his annoyed bitch faced expression. "Ha. Yeah, I reminded him of that last night… **and this morning** …but he said he's 'laying low' until he's sure Asmodeus hasn't turned anymore of his gooks into 'sleeper agents'."

You rolled your eyes. ' _Drama queen, that one is…but he did do us a solid...'_ You thought.

Clearing your throat, you replied. "Ugh. I'll be living in here 'till he's gone then…"

Sam gave you a reassuring smirk, and said he'd see you later. You smiled back at him as he shut the door.

Waiting a few moments to make sure he was gone, you bit your lip, and slowly pulled his laptop out from under Dean's pillow. _'They would freak if they knew I was looking…I'll put it back later where he'll find it. No harm, no foul.'_ You thought.

You resumed your search, frantic to find _anything_ you could. When suddenly, the door flew open, with Sam standing on the other side.

His mouth hung open with comical disbelief. "I _knew_ it!" He yelled, charging toward you.

Slamming the laptop closed, you held your hands up defensively. "I can explai-" You started, but Sam interrupted.

"-You're looking for cases, aren't you?!" His loud voice made you put your finger to your lips, climbing off the bed immediately.

"Yes! Okay? Yes. I'm going **crazy!** And I knew you guys would just freak-" You were tossing your arms in the air at him, his amusement leaving his face.

"You're damn right we would, (Y/n)! We almost lost you, we could still lose you if we aren't careful!" Sam was pointing to ground, as if he was a parent scolding you.

His words made you stop and think, seeing where he was coming from. But it didn't scratch that itch at all; you needed to go somewhere, do _something._

"I'm sorry, (Y/n). I know this is rough…we'll get through it, okay? Maybe we can find something close by to check out. Is that a deal?" Sam's tone changed when he saw your face ridden with disappointment; but he was trying at least, and that made all the difference in the world.

You smiled at him, nodding 'yes'. "Yeah…deal."

Then, he held his arms out to you and pulled you in. You obliged happily, and sighed heavily into his chest.

"By the way, you're a _terrible_ liar- and an even worse thief." He chuckled, taking your arm and leading you out of the room.

"Let's go find Dean."

"What?! No, no, and _hell no!"_ Dean was screaming, banging his head on Baby's undercarriage as he angrily wriggled himself out from beneath it.

 _"Ughh!_ Dean I wanna leave, just for a little bit- maybe go check out a few leads I found, they're nothing big-" You were about to throw another one of your world-class temper tantrums, and you didn't care in the slightest. You needed out!

"-You let her look for cases?!" Dean interrupted, yelling at Sam now while he pointed at you.

Sam threw his head back in frustration, shoving his hands into the pockets of his green canvas jacket angrily. "First off, she stole my laptop! Second, I can't tell her what to do- I'm not her dad Dean!"

"-thank god for that…" You murmured, suddenly hoping neither of them heard you.

Dean did unfortunately, and he closed his eyes, drawing in a deep breath to center himself. You couldn't help but lick your lips at the sight of him- he wore a grey t-shirt that was tight in all the right places, and he was covered from head to toe in sweat and grease.

He sighed, releasing the breath he'd been holding. "Okay. We find something _small_ -"

"Well, I've got something big, kittens." Crowley strutted into the room, cutting Dean's words off. His hands in his black coat pockets leisurely, he approached the three of you.

He cleared his throat, not waiting for an invitation to share. "A little birdy told me about a few of my best grunts, and they've been very naughty… They pledged themselves to Asmodeus, but apparently he's left them idle hands." Crowley flipped open his cell phone, giggling at something, then snapped it shut to look back up at you.

"And…?" You asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

He rolled his eyes at you. "Idle hands and strong demons don't mix, love. They're painting the town red, so to speak."

Your stomach churned at the implications. You hated demons- and it made you want to help Crowley all the more.

"What are **we** supposed to do about it?" Dean asked, offended to be put on the front lines- he took orders from no man…especially the King of Hell.

"Well, _quid pro quo, Clarice_. I can't leave the bunker, not for now anyways. For all I know, Hell is just itching to get me back, just to string me up for Daddy Dearest." He explained, leaving Dean confused.

"Okay I get that- but _quid pro quo,_ Crowley? When did you **help** us?" Dean asked, crossing his arms to match yours, shifting on his feet.

You and Sam shared a look as you remembered Crowley distracting your father long enough for you to get away. You owed him, whether you wanted to admit it or not.

Crowley was glaring at you and Sam, as if he were truly hurt that you hadn't sung his tales of heroism from the rooftops yet.

"Dean, we owe him." Sam said sheepishly, sporting his infamous puppy-dog eyes.

He raised his eyebrows in response and looked to you, and you nodded in agreement.

"He saved our asses, Dean. He um…he was ready to take a bullet for us, that's for sure." You kept your eyes on the ground, as if you were ashamed to side with Crowley. You didn't mind though, because it was true- and it would plead your case to get some dirt beneath your fingernails (i.e., gank some black-eyed sons of bitches).

"Thank you love…I expect my cake and 'thank you' card anytime, now." Crowley said monotonously, ogling you up and down. You hated that.

Dean ran his hand through his hair, doing more harm than good as it worked the grease through further.

"Alright. Give us the details."


	19. Cops & Demons

_'T Minus twenty minutes until I get to see the light of day!'_ You thought, ecstatic about the case you were getting to take. Crowley of course wasn't going, for fear of being seen; but you didn't mind, as long as he kept his paws off your things while you were gone.

You were packed and ready to go ten minutes after Dean said 'We leave in an hour'. Sam and yourself were in the library waiting for him to emerge from the shower (you hated the thought of him washing all that grease off himself). And impatiently you tapped your foot on the floor loudly.

"(Y/n)! Really?" Sam whirled around to you, visibly annoyed- it was the third time he'd scolded you for tapping your fingers, your feet, or humming anxiously.

"I'm excited, so sue me!" You shrugged your shoulders, as you heard a door closing from afar. Hopping up, you snatched your duffel bag from the floor, ready to go.

Your face dropped when you saw it wasn't Dean, but Rowena; you were immediately saddened further when you saw her clutching her carpet bag.

"W-Where are you going…?" You asked, dropping your belongs beside you and approaching her.

Rowena smiled sweetly at you. "Dear, I've got a long list of duties I need to attend to…I can't stay forever." She moved your hair out of your eyes like a mother would do.

"No, _please_ stay- I still need you, Rowena!" Your face contorted, sensing a loss at her absence before she was even gone.

She took your hand in hers. "(Y/n), you've got _everything_ you need…you're so much more prepared than you realize…" She paused, glancing at Sam standing behind you.

"…As much as I hate to admit it, the Winchesters are _good men_. And Dean, he loves you lass! Besides, I'll be back soon to visit, is that a deal?" She finished, giving you a wink as you nodded.

"Deal…but where are you going?" You asked, concerned for her safety with Asmodeus on the loose.

"Oh, I have places…and friends. I'll be fine, dear." She moved in to hug you, and you held her tightly back. You hadn't known she really meant that much to you.

Rowena gave Sam a very long hug ( _ _unnecessarily__ _long_ ), and a pat on the ass for good measure. You had to cover your mouth to stifle laughter at his expense.

She handed you a note to give to Dean, and left the bunker for her cab waiting outside.

* * *

You were on the road, **at last!** When you stepped out of the bunker, the first thing you wanted to do was a cartwheel; but since you didn't know how to do those very well, you settled for closing your eyes and breathing in the fresh air.

Cas decided to stay behind, not wanting to leave Crowley alone in the bunker. You were in the backseat reading a book on Demonology that several of the Men of Letters founders had collaborated on. Sam had given it to you just before you left, and told you it was yours to keep. You knew that was a lot for him to give up something so old that was a piece of his family's history; and had told him you'd take excellent care of it.

Crowley explained the details to you as well as he could. Several of his demons (well, former employees) had pledged their allegiance to Asmodeus, not long before Crowley had come back to the bunker with you. However, Asmodeus must have viewed them as 'tainted', or useless to him- he didn't want their help.

Therefore, what else do demons do when they're bored, offended, and lashing out with nowhere to call home?  
They destroy things. They possess people, kill, rape, and terrorize people's lives without remorse. One of Crowley's best so he said, hinted at them being in a small city in Iowa.

With little information to go on, you were going to have to do your best by questioning local law enforcement first. If anything crazy had been going on, hopefully they'd know about it.

"What's the name of that place again?" You asked, the thought crossing your mind.

"Dyersville, Iowa. I couldn't find much. Let's hope Crowley's guy is right." Sam replied, staring out the window.

"Yeah, I'm giving up precious sleep for this crap." Dean grumbled. He wasn't happy about blindly chasing demons, especially when Crowley wasn't certain how many they were…and you felt the same way.

After 8 hours of driving you were finally there. It was eleven o'clock at night, so you knew you'd have to start fresh in the morning. Having done this more times than you could count, you knew the townsfolk would be suspicious that you weren't 'Federal Agents' if you started questioning around late at night.

You checked the three of you into a motel room while the boys unloaded, and rejoined them quickly. It was a pretty quiet place, with tons of friendly people so far.

"Alright, so Police Department first thing?" You asked, unzipping your bag to fetch your PJ's. More specifically, a tank top and shorts.

"Sounds good to me. I'm gonna go on a grub-run though, you guys want anything?" Sam asked, scooping up the keys to Baby off one of the beds.

Dean and yourself simultaneously replied, you saying "beer", and Dean saying "burgers and pie".

"Gross….but okay. I'll be back." And with that, Sam was gone.

You turned to Dean, watching him plop down on the bed closest to the TV. The motel was booked, but they had this last room available-thankfully, the two beds would suffice.

"I'm hopping in the shower." You said tiredly, heading that way.

Dean's attention was caught, and his eyes brightened. "Mmm. Want me to join?" He asked, propping himself up on his elbows with excitement.

You shook your head, and winked at him to tease him. "No! I'll never get done if you're in there! Stay put, Winchester." You shot him a warning glance, albeit wanting him to disobey your orders.

The shower's water pressure had nothing on the bunker's. But even so, you enjoyed it. You made it quick, saving hot water for Dean and Sam in case they wanted in. As soon as you exited the shower and wrapped yourself in a towel, you realized you'd left your clothes on top of your bag.

"Dean!" You called loudly through the cracked door. "Will you grab me my clothes?"

"No can do, princess. Gotta come get 'em." Dean said back. You could see his grinning face in your mind as he spoke.

 _"_ _Dean!_ _"_ You yelled, and finally heard him get up. Obviously, he'd seen you naked plenty of times; but you didn't want it to become a normality. You wanted him to be excited every time it happened, not _expect_ it to happen.

He knocked thankfully, and you stuck your arm out through the crack of the door for your clothes.

"Can uh…can I come in?" He asked, handing them to you.

You thought for a second, then wondered who you were fucking kidding. You opened the door, letting him in.

"What's wrong?" You asked him. Seeing the expression on his face, you knew he had something weighing on him.

He eyed you up and down, and being Dean, he probably couldn't help it. But then he looked into your eyes, serious as could be.

"I want you to be careful tomorrow…and to stick with me, okay? These are _demons_ , (Y/n). I know you're no rookie, but I can't see you get hurt. Alright?" He took a couple of steps, closing the gap between you to rest his hands on your shoulders.

You gripped the towel tighter, and swallowed the lump in your throat.

"Okay, I promise. I'm always careful, Dean…" You said quietly back. If anyone else had said that to you, you'd have told them to piss off. But this was Dean- he loved you, and you knew he wanted to keep you safe.

"I know you are, but…these guys wanted in with your Dad. I can't believe I even let you come-" You interrupted, offended at his choice of words.

"- **let** me come?" You retorted, holding your hands up at him defensively.

"No, baby I didn't mean that-" You cut him off again, angrily.

"-Nobody **lets** me do **anything** \- okay? I hunt, Dean! This is my _job_!" You had backed up one step angrily. You hated the fact that you had to be 'protected' in the first place…

"Hey I know that, okay?" Dean said, edging closer to you again.

You took a deep breath to calm yourself- you weren't angry at Dean…you were angry at the situation. You had to remind yourself of that over and over again…he is just keeping you safe.

Feeling his hand on your cheek and his other on your shoulder again, you looked up at him.

"I'm sorry. I know you didn't mean-" His lips stopped yours in their tracks, rendering them useless with his soft kiss. It was slow, and sweeter than you expected.

Just as he started to pull away, you heard the motel room door opening.

"Guys? You decent?" Sam was calling.

"I need to put some clothes on, Dean…" You said, kissing him once more before he left you alone.

* * *

The next morning, you awoke to Sam's voice.

"Breakfast!" He sung out cheerfully, opening the curtains over the solitary window in the motel room.

Dean groaned next to you in bed, rolling over away from the light and pulling you closer to him. Even though you were half-asleep, you knew you were blushing.

His breath nuzzled against your ear as you locked your hand with his.

"Mornin', princess." He whispered. You rolled over to face him, and gazed into his sleepy half-there green eyes.

"Morning, handsome." You whispered back, feeling all too 'girlish' for using that word…but you didn't care.

He glanced Sam's way, who was busy distributing breakfast sandwiches from their bags to the small table. Looking back at you, he placed a soft kiss on your forehead, then one on your lips. You smiled, then started to sit up until you heard Dean groan in objection.

Pulling you back down, into him, he pressed himself against you eagerly- and you felt his hardness through his boxers, eliciting a deep need inside of you.

You closed your eyes for a moment, just relishing in the moment with Dean; when Sam scolded the two of you.

"Really, guys? I'm _right here_ _._ Come eat! We've got shit to do, and demons to gank!" He barked.

You sat straight up in bed. "You had me at 'ganking demons'…" You said, hopping up and making a b-line for the coffees Sam brought back.

Dean was right behind you, throwing on a pair of jeans as he went. You stared at him out of the corner of your eye as you sipped your coffee.

 _'Jesssusss Christ! Shirtless, half-asleep and he's still sexy. I can't even.'_ You thought.

* * *

At last, the three of you were at the police department. You couldn't help but notice the way Dean kept stealing glimpses of you in your tight black pencil skirt. When you first bought it, you thought it hugged your ass a little too much- but after working one case with it on, you found local authorities to be _much_ more helpful than usual.  
You had a particular business-appropriate, but _damn sexy_ pair of black of heels on as well; and you'd gone with a dark blue blouse that showed a bit of cleavage, just enough to catch someone's attention. And in this case, you apparently had.

You'd also be foolish not to admit to yourself how good Dean looked in a suit. God, you wanted to find a decent-sized bathroom and lock you both inside.

You shook the lustful thoughts away as you approached the front desk inside the Police Station. Thankfully, Dean introduced you all.

"Hello, we're officers Williams, Young, and Johnson. We're here looking for some information…mind if we have a look at your reports filed this week?" He asked, keeping it all business.

The young brunette's face lit up with wide eyes. "Oh! You must be here about-" She stopped herself quickly.

"-Um, never mind…one moment, please." She smiled nervously, and scurried away to a man behind her in uniform, whispering something to him. He was drinking a cup of coffee, leaning down to hear her. He glanced up at the three of you, nodded to her and waved at you.

You smiled at him, and he came around the counter to greet you.

"Hello, I'm Sheriff Bronson…I assume you're all here about the _incident_ a couple nights ago?" He asked. He had dark brown hair, and even darker brown eyes. He was fit, and his demeanor suggested to you that he was perhaps at one point in the armed services.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, that's exactly why we're here. Our supervisor left us in the dark a bit, though. Mind filling us in on the details?" He asked, tilting his head curiously.

 _'Smoooth.'_

Sheriff Bronson replied. "Oh of course, anything to help catch the _bastards_ -...follow me back to evidence." Motioning at you all to follow him, you obeyed. You waited as he entered his passcode on a security keypad on the door to the east wing.

He ushered you in first, giving you a sweet smile, then Sam and Dean. He directed you from behind to take the first door on the right. He was right behind you, closing the door with him.

"Alright…everything from the crime scene is in these two cases…" The Sheriff roughly patted two large plastic containers with 'biohazard' and 'evidence' stickers. "…Gloves are over there on the table. And, the file is in the top drawer…I was going over it this morning. Feel free to look."

He left the room, and something about him leaving made you think he didn't want to look inside those containers again. You looked to Sam and Dean, who were prying pairs of latex gloves from the box.

"You guys…have fun with that." You cringed, scooting past them to the top drawer in the file cabinet. Fishing it out, you immediately leafed through it as Sam and Dean chose a container between them.

" **Jesus christ…** " You murmured, not wanting to look further.

From what you read, one of the local dive bars had been closing up, when several patrons refused to leave at last call. The bartender's interview read that she had fled at the first sign of trouble; but she was the only one who made it out alive.  
The men had torn the bar apart…and everyone left in it, too.  
The photos from the scene were horrifying. You'd worked countless vamp and werewolf cases, you'd dealt with Rugarus, Wendigos…but _nothing_ you'd ever seen compared to this.

Twelve. Twelve people were killed- _slaughtered_ , more specifically.

Bodies lay dismembered, with their respective limbs strewn about the room; some were gutted, their insides carved out and mangled.  
Several were impaled with pool cues, driven into walls like decorations; and some had been strategically placed on chairs to look as if they were sitting down, just having a drink.  
Two were beheaded, but you hadn't noticed until you saw the bodiless heads sitting on the bar top.

 _'I'm gonna throw up.'_ You thought, closing the file quickly and looking at Dean and Sam.

They were quickly replacing the lids, having shuffled through a bit of it. "What'd you find…?" You dared to ask.

"Uh...ears, tongues, pieces of… _skin_ \- and some samples of what look to be sulphur." Sam replied.

Both their faces were pale, and dean held his stomach…it looked like he was going to vomit, too.

You cleared your throat. "Well, you can see where the tongues and ears came from, if you want to…" You told them, passing Sam the file.

You watched as he leafed through it, grimacing and wincing as he flipped through the crime scene photos.

Then, a knock came at the door. The Sheriff came back in, with a disheartening expression on his face. "Did you find what you were looking for…?" He asked, knowing what you'd just seen by the looks on your pale faces.

"Well, sort of…" You said, sighing. "There were no causes of death listed for any of the victims. I understand the _amount_ of them could hinder that, but-" Sheriff Bronson interrupted.

"-Yeah, that's one of the things I was gonna let you in on next. It's the weirdest thing…Most of the victims' wounds that night **weren't** the causes of death." He paused, his eyes darting from you to Sam.

"A lot of them had older wounds- some days, weeks, even **months older** -and those older wounds were the actual causes of death. I've got the best coroner around…he's sure of it. But I don't know how those guys were alive…" His eyes were haunted, moving his gaze to his shiny black boots.

You closed your eyes, almost with relief. _'Demon on demon violence- most of them weren't_ ** _really_** _civilians at the time…'_ You thought.

None of you replied to his statement; pretending to be just as shocked as you _should have been_ , at the fact that most of the victims should have been dead for months.

"T-Thank you, Sheriff…" Sam said, giving him that sorrowful puppy-dog eyed face of his.

You crossed your arms, one of your nervous ticks you used to cover up the fact you were anxious. "Can you point us in the direction of the bartender you interviewed? Seems she's our only viable witness, correct?" You asked him, returning to your 'all-business-no-bullshit' demeanor.

The Sheriff nodded hastily. "Oh, y-yes- she's actually a very sweet young lady, I've known her since she was yay-big…" He chuckled, motioning with his hand to interpret the size of a small child. "I'll have my secretary put together her information. Obviously, the bar is closed for clean-up, she'll probably be at home."

You smiled sweetly at him. "Thanks, Sheriff."

* * *

"So, you're _**FBI?**_ " The bartender asked you, as she led you all to her living room.

You nodded, putting on your best 'let's be girlfriends' face. "Yes ma'am, we need to ask you some questions about the other night…"

You sat next to Dean on the couch, while Sam took the armchair. Rebecca (that was the bartender's name) sat across from you all in a shabby loveseat that looked like it had seen a **lot** of love in it's days.

She was tall, big-boned and muscular, and you figured she must live at the gym. Her brown hair was short and wavy, and her makeup was smeared around her deep brown eyes.

She'd obviously been awake and crying since it happened; and you couldn't blame her. If she'd seen even a _fraction_ of what was in that file…she'd need therapy for sure.  
Nonetheless, you could tell she was a natural beauty; her skin was flawless even beneath the tear stains and running mascara.

Dean cleared his throat, leaning forward on his knees to clasp his hands together. "So in the interview, you told police you 'fled at the first sign of trouble'. I mean, bar fights happen all the time. So can you tell us **what** the first sign of trouble was…?" He asked, eyeing her up and down suspiciously.

You inwardly rolled your eyes; you forgot that he was 'bad cop', and Sam was 'good cop'.

Rebecca sighed, exasperated. She must have been asked that same question a dozen times already.

"I **told the cops!** " She yelled. "Some guy smashed a beer bottle, and **stabbed my friend!** All he did was tell him it was last call, and to finish his drink. T-That's all…" Her voice trailed into quiet sobs, and she covered her face with her hands.

You moved in quickly, snatching a kleenex from the coffee table, and darting to her side on the loveseat.

"Here you go…it's okay, take your time." You said, handing her the kleenex and touching her forearm reassuringly.

She nodded, taking a few moments to gather herself.

You started again, hoping to have gained her trust. "So it was after that when you ran…?" You asked her quietly.

She looked up at you, offended. "No! I wasn't going to leave him there! I-I **tried** to get to him, I did. But then the others showed up…" She paused, shaking her head.  
"They just barged in, and started yelling at the guys who attacked my friend…like they knew them."

You looked to Sam and Dean. _'Bingo'._

"Could you hear what they were saying?" Sam chimed in, leaning forward with intrigue.

Rebecca shrugged hopelessly. "I dunno…something about being 'out of line', then the other guys said something about 'joining them'…and a name- I haven't been able to remember it, but they were talking about someone…" Her brows furrowed as she tried to recall.

You spoke too soon, scolding yourself inside. "…Asmodeus? Was that the name?"

Her head snapped up, gazing at you suspiciously. "Yes! How'd you know that?" She said, excited to be able to recall now.

You looked down at your hands in your lap, then back up to Rebecca. "We've been on their asses for some time now…what you saw was gang violence. 'Asmodeus' is some sort of code word for their initiation…I'm so sorry this happened to you, Rebecca." You said.

"Did they notice you when you ran? Or did you see where they went, maybe…?" Sam asked her next.

She shook her heard, whipping her hair back and forth. "No, I didn't see where they went- but they noticed me, they saw me run out…but they didn't care, really. I looked back once, and I could've _sworn_ -" She threw her hands up with frustration. "-nevermind, it's crazy…"

"Nothing sounds crazy to us Rebecca, trust me. We've heard it all." Dean said, staring at her. You knew what she saw.

She turned to you, pursing her lips. "It looked their eyes were **black**." She said quietly, like she was scared to say it out loud.

You acted surprised, but tried to smile at her to comfort her. "We believe you, Rebecca…we don't think you're crazy. I promise." You told her.

You stood slowly, nodding to Dean and Sam. "Thank you, we'll be in touch." You spoke softly.

She nodded, asking you to show yourselves out.

* * *

"They're gonna come back for her!" You yelled at Dean.

The three of you were back at the motel room, trying to put your facts together.

Obviously, the King of Hell's grunts had caught up with the demons who stabbed Crowley in the back by joining Asmodeus.  
But as to where they were, none of you had a clue. You were sure of one thing, though; they would be back to clean up their mess; and that mess was Rebecca. She was the only survivor that night, and they saw her leave.

Dean suggested skipping to the next town over, stating that if they hadn't come back for Rebecca by now, they probably wouldn't at all. You knew that wasn't true; they could be laying low right under your noses.

"Okay guys, let's just take a breath here…" Sam stepped between you and Dean. "Dean, I gotta say I agree with (Y/n). Demons aren't dumb, they would lay low until all this blew over…there's no doubt they're gonna come back for her." He said, running a hand through his hair.

"So we stake out her house then? In the **same car** we pulled up in today?" Dean mocked, plopping himself on the bed and rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Really, Dean? I know how to jack a car, that won't be a problem." You said, folding your arms over your chest and shifting on your feet. You were glaring daggers at his foolishness.

"Okay…we do it your way then. But we wait until late tonight, got it?" Dean said, raising his eyebrows at you.

You nodded, and bit your lip in attempt to restrain your curses at him. "Got it."

Sam released a long breath. "I think we should all get some rest. It's going to be a long night." He looked to Dean, then to you, and you both nodded in agreement. "I'm gonna go grab us some dinner." Sam mumbled, slipping his shoes back on and exiting the room.

"Sorry I yelled…" You muttered to Dean under your breath. You _hated_ apologizing.  
He smiled at you, and you knew he'd forgiven it already.

"I'm gonna get changed." You said, wanting to change the subject quickly. Dean's face fell into disappointment, as he watched you pick up your bag and walk to the bathroom.

As soon as you'd shut the bathroom door, Dean was opening it. He barged right in, without as much as a knock.

"Dean!" You yelled, hands on her hips. "What the hell are you doing?" You watched him as he turned around, shutting and locking the door behind him.

 _'Ohhh. That…'_ You blushed.

He said nothing, only charged you back against the wall, pushing himself against you hard. You looked up at him for a moment, admiring those green eyes you'd grown to love so much.  
Then, Dean's lips captured yours. You were both moving eagerly; and he placed one hand on the side of your head, and touched your chin with the other, coaxing your mouth to invite him in.

His tongue dove forward as soon as your mouth parted, enveloping you in his taste. Just the smell of him, the look of him in that suit…he was driving you insane all day, and you knew he felt the same way.

"You should wear this skirt more often…" He murmured against your lips, bringing a smile to yours. His hand traveled down to the hem of it just above your knee. Roughly but slowly, he tugged it up on your thighs, reaching his hand underneath it.

Dean struggled against your skirt, it was too tight for him to really get anywhere by himself. "Panties…drop 'em baby." He demanded between kissing your neck, and nipping your ear lobe.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you stood on your tiptoes in your heels to whisper in his ear. "Who said I was wearing any?"

At your words, Dean reared back, his eyes overthrown with desire. A deep rumbling growl came from the back of his throat, as he shimmied your skirt up your thighs with new motivation.

"Jesus, (y/n)…you drive me fuckin' crazy." He snarled, his hand finding your center quickly.

Your muscles inside were throbbing and aching at the feeling of having him so close; the tension that had building all day was just waiting to be released.

You knew how wet you were…you felt it between your legs when Dean backed you into the wall. His hand was massaging your sex, your clitoris…he was everywhere on it.

"(Y/n), princess you're always so wet for me…fuck…Sam's gonna be back soon." He looked down at you with desperation in his eyes; he needed you, possibly more than you needed him right now.

His pants were bulging with his erection, and you ignored his statement about his brother entirely. You unbuckled his belt hastily, as his fingers were working themselves inside you.

You yanked his pants down with force, as he shrugged off his jacket and threw it into the shower by accident.

"Sweetheart…I need…you." He breathed out, planting kisses down your chest toward the 'v' in your blouse. You pushed him back, tearing it off you effortlessly, letting it join Dean's jacket in the shower. Turning him around, shoved him hard against the wall.

Something you hadn't gotten to do for him yet crept into your mind, and your lustful state merged with idea.  
Dean gazed at you, watching you slide his boxers down to free him. You dropped to your knees immediately, wanting so badly to taste him for so long…and there was no time like the present.

"Ohh-ohhhh baby…" Dean stuttered, groaning and gasping as you wrapped your pouting lips around his cock. He was all of a sudden holding his breath, like he were afraid he'd blow at any minute.

You took his length into your mouth, moving back and forth as you edged your way down him. Even though this was your first time, you'd seen plenty of porn- you knew what to do.

You let your mouth wet him, and leaned your head back to take all of him in. Your head was bobbing back and forth, concentrating hard on his moans and clenching muscles. Your hand gripped his shaft, stroking it to meet your mouth's pace on him; drawing even more cries of pleasure from Dean.

You withdrew him from your mouth with a 'pop', causing him to open his eyes. Making eye contact with him, you licked one long track under his member, from the base to the tip; and enveloped him in your mouth once again. This drew an unintelligible curse from Dean's lips, and it was much louder than you were sure he meant it to be.

"Sweetheart…jesus…please!" He practically yelled, his face contorting in want. He gripped your shoulders, heaving you up to him, all to turn you away in an instant.

He whirled you around, yanking the back of your skirt up over your ass. In a flash, he had you bent over the bathroom sink, with the tip of him lining up at your sopping entrance.

Both of you were dizzy, breathless, and moaning out loud when he entered you; it was pure ecstasy. Moving slow at first to give you time to adjust to him, he quickly picked up his pace, knowing Sam would be back anytime.

But you needed more. "Dean, _harder, please!_ " You yelled back at him over your shoulder, causing his hand to connect with your ass instantly. He stalled, realizing what he'd just done.

"Did you just _spank me,_ Dean?!" Your voice rose high, surprised at how much you loved it.

He was trying to catch his breath when he replied. "Huh…uh…yeah. I'm sorry…" He caught your gaze in the mirror, and you bit your lip.

"I liked it…" You said softly, almost ashamed of it.

A wild grin spread across his face. "Want me to do it again?" He asked, gripping your hips tight, still inside of you but motionless.

You nodded.

 ** _SMACK._**

You cried out, as he drove into you and gave you a harder slap on your ass; you couldn't _believe_ how good it felt- moreover, you couldn't believe how fucking _delicious_ he looked doing it.

Dean's pace was unfaltering, but once again he was holding back on you…and you could tell. You wanted so badly to just tell him to let go, but you were afraid to.

 _'Fuck it…I trust him.'_ You thought.

"Dean, I'm not gonna break! **Just let go and fuck me how you wanna fuck me!** " You screamed, and you looked up in the mirror at his face.

 _'Ohhh maybe I shouldn't have said that…'_

Just then, he pulled himself out of you, with an urgency in his eyes you'd only seen the night you 'bonded' with him after the spell.

He spun you around to face him, and immediately picked you up and set you on the floor roughly. You gasped at the cold tile beneath you, looking up at him as he pushed you down hard.

Hands on your knees, he pushed your legs apart and realigned himself with you, reentering you abruptly.

 _'_ _ _He is actually fucking me on the floor.'__ You thought of how filthy this floor could be, despite it's clean appearance; but the truth was, you didn't give a damn.

Dean leaned over you, his soft kisses over the top of your breasts contrasting his harder thrusts. The sound of skin slapping skin echoed in the bathroom, only muffled by your cries and Dean's groans.  
The power behind his hips surprised you, as his pace quickened and thrusts grew harder without mercy.

From the force of him driving into you, your body was edging away from. He grabbed your hips, drawing you back into him and not letting go. You were seeing black dots at the pleasure of this feeling; once again giving up control, and watching him let go of his. It was surreal to you just how much he'd been holding back on you all this time.

"Dean, I- _f_ _ _uck!__ " You cried out, grabbing his shoulders and digging in with your fingernails.

"Say my name, sweetheart…" He grunted out, breathless from his adept work on you.

"D-d…" You couldn't say it. You were overcome with the sensation of him ramming into that sweet spot of yours; and you could barely fathom what he was saying.

"Say my name, baby…" His words were soft but commanding, his eyes dominating yours.

"D-Dean!" You managed out, barely forming it on your lips.

His grip on your hips tightened, holding you in place as his thrusts attempted to move you.

"Aghh! Dean…." You held onto him for dear life, feeling his release coming, and yours coming even faster.

"You gonna come for me, princess?!" Dean yelled out at you this time, his voice awakening your need even further.

"Y-Yes! Don't stop!" Your gaze was locked on his darkened green eyes, and your insides clenched.

Suddenly, from behind the bathroom door, you heard the motel room door open. "Guys?" You heard Sam call.

Dean heard him, but never missed a beat. He wasn't stopping, and sure as hell wasn't going to let you stop either.  
He shook his head, never pausing his movements, and winked at you; as if telling you not to worry, that Sam would leave.

You couldn't help the moans that were still escaping your mouth, Dean's length was hitting all the right spots, and stretching you in all the right places.

"C'mon baby…come for me!" He breathed out, licking his lips. You knew he was about to burst any second…but so were you.

"Fu-uck…I'm about to come Dean! Don't st…" Your own words were cut off by your scream, your head falling back onto the cold tile beneath you. Your walls collapsed around him again and again; your muscles clenching his hardness inside you, holding on and letting go.

It rippled through you, as you heard Dean above you let out a guttural moan, collapsing on top of you.

His seed filling you and warming you, you completely forgot about Sam walking in. Neither of you really cared, though…it was worth it.

Dean and yourself had hopped into the shower after your unexpected 'excursion'. Dean had called Sam as soon as the two of you were dressed.

"Mmhhmmm." Dean mumbled back into the phone to Sam. "…yep. Loud and clear- won't happen again. See ya in a minute."

You couldn't help but feel guilty about it…Ugh. Poor, poor Sammy.

* * *

Much later that night- morning really, at 2:00 am -Dean announced he was going out to 'borrow' a car.

You and Sam were ready to go, dressed in jeans, t-shirts and boots.

You hadn't spoken to each other much since that afternoon, and the awkwardness was absolutely **killing you**.

"Hey, I'm sorry about earlier…" You said to him, looking at the floor with shame.

His big round hazel eyes were staring you, and he just chuckled and shook his head. "No…don't be. You guys are happy, (y/n). You know as well as we do, hunters usually don't get the chance for that. So don't be sorry for it, ever."

Looking up at him, you smiled…because you knew it was true.

Just then, the door swung open to the motel room. It was Dean. "I was fast, huh? Broke a record, I think." He winked at you, then motioned to you both to join him.

A silver/grey Honda Civic was waiting, all in-tact, thankfully. Dean popped the trunk; and Sam heaved the large bag of assorted weapons, guns and knives you were bringing along on the stakeout. You _loved stakeouts_ _._ They were simple, clean (usually), and sometimes, they ended well- and you hoped this was the case for tonight.

You'd had a brief phone call with Crowley earlier… and his belligerent curses blaring through the phone told you those were in fact his guys that were killed at the bar earlier that week.

Dean drove, and you didn't dare make Sam ride in the back. Thankfully, this was a close-knit part of town; and most everyone that was normally opened 24 hours had closed down early, for fear of the same 'men' terrorizing their businesses.  
You were nearing Rebecca's house, and you fidgeting on the edge of your seat.

"And…here we are." Dean killed the lights on the car as he came to slow; then put it in park.

"Looks quiet…and her car's gone." You said, peering out the window, but keeping your face out of sight.

"She might have parked it in the garage, given what happened…" Sam muttered, almost to himself.

The house was dark, except for a lamp in the living room window. The rest of the houses on the street looked the same, or even darker than hers. It was a dead night.

The three of you were completely silent, besides the sighs of boredom coming from Dean. Your eyes were glued to the house, and Sam's were darting back and forth between Rebecca's yard, and her neighbors.

You thought you were wrong for a minute; nothing was going on, and if the demons were waiting for the right time…this would've been it. You opened your mouth to tell Dean to drive around the block, when suddenly, the upstairs light flicked on.

"Guys!" You whispered, drawing their attention to Rebecca's room upstairs.

"She's probably just takin' a piss (y/n)." Dean's voice was laced sarcasm, when you saw a light flick on downstairs.

"I take that back…no way in hell she got down there that fast." Dean said, narrowing his eyes through the windshield. He looked back at you, then to Sam.

You smirked. _'_ _ _It's a go…let's kill some demons.'__

All of you exited the car in unison, closing your doors just enough for the lights inside to dim. Sam handed Dean the Demon blade, and you gripped your pistol tight- the devil's traps carved into the bullets inside would surely do some damage.

Sam had done the same to his ammo, and you were minutely surprised that you weren't in fact the **only** hunter who'd ever thought of that.

Following Dean, you crept toward the front of the house; you saw Sam darting to your left, going around to take the back.  
Dean tried the doorknob as quietly as he could, and to your surprise, it was unlocked.

 _'_ _ _This can't be good…'__ You thought.

Stepping inside, pistol drawn and Dean's right hand wielding the blade, you heard a muffled scream. It was coming from upstairs.

Without hesitation, you shared a glance with Dean and you both headed upwards, softly treading on the stairs.  
Dean hit the landing on the second story in front of you, and you both paused to listen.

Another muffled cry sounded; this time coming from downstairs.

You and Dean looked at each other with wide eyes; and you knew exactly what the other was thinking.

 _'Rebecca's not here…it's a trap'._

You cursed inwardly at yourself for not checking the garage to see if her car was inside. You should have…because there was no way she could be two places at once. She was the only occupant in the home. You were certain, even Dean was, that the first scream came from above you.

And that meant you were surrounded; being toyed with by the Demons.

"Hello, agents…" A familiar voice came from the foot of the stairs; it was Sheriff Bronson.

On instinct, you raised your gun immediately. As you did, he blinked to reveal pitch-black eyes.

 _'God dammit…'_

He laughed out loud at the look on you and Dean's faces. "Oh, I know you're wondering how you didn't _know_ …I jumped this poor sap right after he left work…" He looked at you, licking his lips. "…and sweetheart, he had some **thoughts** about you…"

At his words, you fired your pistol angrily; as the bullet struck him in the chest, his body illuminated with orange and yellow flashes as he was rendered immobile.

Dean held you back with his arm, and stalked down the stairs toward him. His left fist was clenched, and his jaw was obscured in a way that even from behind, you could tell he was grinding his teeth.

"See this, **dick**?" Dean snarled, holding the blade in front of his face for him to see. "This kills you- no crawling back out of the pit, just… _POOF_ _._ You're gone. So how 'bout you tell us where your friends are, and maybe we'll just send you back to hell to deal with Crowley, hmmm?" Dean was grinning maliciously at him, as if he wanted him not to talk just so he could stab him in his face.

The Demon in Sheriff Bronson cackled psychotically, grimacing at his own laughter.

"Somethin' funny?" Dean growled low, and you began to descend the staircase behind him to hear better.

The Demon gasped for air, then looked up at you, and began laughing again. "Yeah-oohh, oh yeah. Somethin's funny, Winchester…" His laughter continued, bringing you to roll your eyes and raise your weapon again.

But just then, his hilarity ceased altogether; and he stared into Dean with furious black orbs. **"I'm the distraction."**

As the words left his lips, strong hands grabbed you from behind and knocked your pistol out of your grasp. The sound of the air being knocked out of your lungs sent Dean reeling to look behind him.  
He saw two Demons, one on each of your arms; and a third throwing a bag over your head.


	20. Kryptonite

You were being drug down the hallway; kicking, screaming, and blind. The thick black bag over your head smelled like someone's gym socks, and left no room to see through the other side.

As soon as it happened, you could hear Dean yelling, then a struggle at the bottom of the stairs. There were more of them, and they were tearing you apart.

'Focus. Focus!' You told yourself. You ceased your struggle altogether, knowing that it was more important to feel and hear the things going on around you than to scream aimlessly at the demons. They knew no mercy, and couldn't be persuaded. There was no reasoning with things that didn't understand reason at all.

You knew how many had you; one was on each arm, dragging you, and a third had gut-punched you from behind and tossed the bag over your head; and you could hear his stomps leading the way down the hall.  
'I'll be sure to kill that son of a bitch first.'

After a couple more steps and more severe carpet burn to your lower back, you were yanked to your right. Your head slammed into a doorjam as you were being drug into a room, and you heard something crash and shatter downstairs. You were panicking; you didn't know how to summon the power inside you while blind…and you cursed yourself for never practicing.

"Stop- hold onto her." You heard one of their gruff voices say.

They stopped dragging you, and you heard the bedroom door shut. Immediately you began to struggle again, but were quickly stopped by someone heavy straddling your hips, holding your shoulders still with a forearm across your chest. You opened your mouth to yell, when you felt a sharp sting in your neck.

 _'Needle…'_

Just like that, your head was swimming. You felt like you were floating, or maybe in a dream. The sluggishness was overwhelming; it was slow-motion, but worse.

Their bruising grips on your arms were released, and you knew you had to get the bag off your head. Clawing at the black canvas over your eyes, you weren't really sure of how fast you were moving. You could hear them talking, and could hear more noise coming from below you.  
Finally, tugging once more on the drawstring, it was off. Black spots clouded your vision, but they were slowly dissipating.

Three white-collar men- demons, stood in black suits in front of you.

"What…d-did you give…me?" You slurred your words, barely able to control your body. You were on all fours, trying to gain your ground to stand- but it was impossible with the room spinning so fast.

The tallest of the three, with brown crew-cut hair and blue eyes, grinned down at you. "A double dose of horse tranquilizers, with a supernatural kick, cupcake…" He winked at you, making you feel the urge to vomit. "…doesn't feel too good, does it?"

You squeezed your eyes shut, opening them again hoping to see more clearly- but to no avail. You pushed up with all your might to stand, but only to fall back down. Your heartbeat was pounding in your head, and your breathing was staggering quickly.

He stepped closer to you, kneeling down to you. "You took **everything** from us…" He roughly grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him through your drooping eyes.

"… now we're going to take everything from you…and it's gonna **hurt**." His words echoed in your head in a loop, and his voice was fuzzy in your throbbing ears.

Your vision left you then, and you felt a kick to your ribs that sucked every ounce of air from your lungs. The next kick landed on your spine, sending you reeling back to your stomach on the floor, gasping like a fish out of water.

Then, a large hand grabbed a fistful of your hair, yanking you up to your knees. Your eyes flew open, the black dots still perturbing your view.

 _'I can't…move…I can't fight…'_

You could make out one of them in front of you; then felt a fist connecting with your jaw, making your vision fail you once more. Tasting the blood in your mouth, you drew in a shallow breath and tried again to move; but your muscles wouldn't let you.

Hearing their voices, you tried to concentrate on them. "…don't drain her…need her blood to lock her Daddy up…back where he belongs…"

 _'What…lock him up?'_

 _ **KICK.**_

Another kick to your stomach left you breathless again; and you knew you couldn't take much more. The cracks and pops you were feeling wretched your body, knowing many ribs and bones were being broken in you.  
The feeling of sharp steel against your back made your stomach knot; and you felt it slide across your skin effortlessly. You screamed at the burning, white-hot pain that followed…and you felt the knife on your back again.

The pain grew to a level that in your mind, wasn't fathomable; your body was being sliced and carved into, kicked, and punched…and you were too drugged up to do a fucking thing about it. You just hoped it would end soon.

 _'All this power…and I can't even save my own ass…'_

You held yourself on your forearms, trying again to heave yourself up; when a hand gripped your chin viciously once more, and you willed your eyes open. Blinking away the blood running into them, you saw the Demon who'd injected you on his knees in front of you, the other two beside him standing.  
You heard more struggling downstairs, and jerked your head toward the sound; until he forced your gaze back to his.

The Demon's eyes bore into you as he knelt before you, and he flashed you a white malicious smile. He held an Angel Blade to your face, displaying it to you insidiously. "Time to die, demon spawn…"

Just as you thought you were truly done, you saw a sight you'd never thought you would be **that thankful** to see…and you smiled.

"You…first…" You whispered, struggling to breathe.

Crowley was there behind them, and held an Angel Blade in each hand. He plunged each Blade into the Demon's henchmen simultaneously, sending the bodies they possessed crashing to the floor with a thud.

His lip curled at you wickedly, knowing his doom was lurking behind him. He turned his head to look…and you took your chance.  
Gathering every bit of strength you had left, your arm lashed out, snatching the Blade from the Demon in front of you.

He whipped back around to you with a loud growl and black eyes. Surprising yourself, you reared back to your knees, thrusting the Angel Blade into his chest; and as you watched him die and heard the screams leaving his mouth, you fell back into darkness.

* * *

"Bloody **hell** …what have they done?" Crowley's voice sounded so far away…this couldn't be real. You had to be dead.

But the feeling of being scooped up, and the smell of sulphur filling your nose was all too real.

 _'Am I really alive…?'_

You felt movement, and swaying back and forth in his arms as he walked; then you heard him speak again, much softer now.

"…you're the lion among us, love…don't quit now." 

* * *

**===DEAN'S POV===**

There were **so…many…demons.**. There had to be at least a dozen waiting in the back room downstairs. They rushed out as soon as the other three grabbed (Y/n).

I swear to god, my fucking heart stopped. They were tearing me one way, and her the other…and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

Sam came busting through the back door, with several more black-eyed douchebags behind him…and lemme say this: We **fucking fought.** We fought harder than we ever had. And while we took out as many as we could, I prayed…I prayed to Cas. 'Cause if Sam and I didn't make it through this (and it didn't look good, believe me), **no one** would be here to save her.  
And she had to make it out of there, if **anyone** deserved to make it outta that house alive…it was (Y/n). I knew that, and I could tell by the way Sam was fighting that he knew that, too.

I heard her scream…something was happening to her. And the sounds of her upstairs being hurt, beaten, almost cost me my life. One of those demons caught me off guard, and knocked my feet out from under me.

I really thought I was done; I thought that was it…until Cas popped up, holy light and all.

Once he was there, we were dropping 'em like flies. Bodies were hitting the floor left and right, and all I could think about was getting to those stairs.

And just when the last few demons ran through the back like fucking cowards, I saw him walking down the stairs with her.

 _'No no no…'_

"Crowley! What happened?" I yelled, running to meet him at the bottom of the stairs.

(Y/n) was there in his arms…bloody, bruised, unconscious…I didn't want to look. Crowley handed her to me, and my knees were almost giving way. She had to be dead. There was so much blood…

"(Y/n)! Baby talk to me…" I looked at Crowley again, who held up a syringe to me.

I knelt down, and laid her on the carpet as gently as I could. Jesus, even bloody and swollen she still looked gorgeous.

"What the hell did they **do to her?!** " I screamed at him.

"Drugged her up, most likely…they knew it'd be the only way they could kill her." He told me.

"Tell me you **killed them.** " I was glaring daggers at Crowley. He owed us, this was all because of him.

"They're dead…and don't worry, she got to do some of the justice herself." He replied.

I couldn't take my eyes off her. Her pulse was weak, and I could barely feel her breathing.

"L-Let's get her home." I looked at Sam and Cas, and they nodded at me. I tossed the keys to Sam, and picked (y/n) up as carefully as I could and followed him to the car.  
Crowley and Cas must've stayed to clean up the mess…I didn't ask, and I didn't bother looking back at that house either way.

I climbed into the backseat with her on my lap, and it was then that I felt just how cold she was. My flannel was off me and wrapped around her as fast as I could move. Talk about **deja vu'** …

Sam started Baby up, and had his foot on the gas in a heartbeat. And all I could do was hold onto her. I was so afraid she would stop breathing, I kept my hand on her chest to make sure it kept rising…and I'm man enough to admit it, I cried all the way back to the bunker.

 **===END DEAN'S POV===  
**

* * *

Everything fucking hurt. You could feel every god damned muscle in your body throbbing; your head was spinning, and you hadn't even moved yet. The smell of whiskey, iodine, and rubbing alcohol filled your nose. The bed sheets you were wrapped in felt oddly like Dean's, which had to be impossible…because you were pretty certain you'd died.

The images came flooding back to you. The Demons, the beating, being drugged…and then Crowley. That was all you could remember, for the most part. In a dream, you could've sworn you were in the Impala with Dean and Sam, but that couldn't have been real…could it? You couldn't see anything, just…black. It reminded you of the time you drank 'African Dream Root'…with audio only.

Then you heard Sam. It was foggy, and at first you had trouble making out his words.

"…he said whatever they shot her up with must be keeping her down, like a drug-induced coma…" His words faded out, and faded back in. But you knew you heard the word 'coma'…

 _'So much for the whole 'floating above my own body' experience…'_ You thought.

"…just keep trying, Dean. Keep talking to her, it's only been a day. She'll wake up soon…how's the damage?" And like music to your ears, you heard Dean.

"Not great, Sam…I need to clean the stitches on her back and chest, after I get some more ice on her ribs." His tone was tight and militant, he sounded like he was an auto-pilot.

"Okay…I'm gonna go call Cas to find out if he and Crowley found anything yet. You good? I can stay with her if you need a break, man…" You heard Sam's footsteps leaving the room. You wish you heard what Dean had said back to him. It **did** sound like he needed a break.

Then, you felt something ice-cold being placed on your side. You flinched at the feeling, and realized you really were alive. Not all there, but alive nonetheless.

"Sweetheart? You awake?" Dean was speaking to you again, closer and more precise.

 _'He saw me move...'_ You thought.

"(Y/n)…can you hear me?" Dean's voice penetrated your senses. "Baby, if you can hear me…I'm right here. Please, **please** pull through this for me, okay? You've got to…you're the strongest person I know…" His words faded in and out again, like someone toying with the volume on a radio.

"…we've come a long way, I love you too damn much to lose you now…"

His voice broke up for a moment, and you weren't sure if it was with tears or with laughter.

"…it uh, it happened really fast between you and I, didn't it? Jesus, the moment I saw you I **had** to have you. I mean, you just came out of **nowhere…** but I knew you were mine. And when you wake up, I'm gonna do this right... I'm gonna marry you someday…"

You heart was soaring, but screaming on the inside, wishing you could hear more than pieces of what he was saying.

"…remember what your Dad said? We could have a terrible, **miserable** unfulfilled life together. We could have a couple of bratty kids… live in this crappy bunker the rest of our lives…" You were sure you heard him chuckle through tears.

"…and ya know, that doesn't sound too freakin' bad to me. Live the 'apple pie life', have a couple kids, the whole 9 yards…" He either paused or faded out again, but then the smell of whiskey filled your nose, and you heard him again.

"…princess, I'm game if you are…but you've gotta wake up first."

You felt a tingling sensation in your hand just then, almost like a pressure.

"(Y/n), c'mon sweetheart. Just squeeze my hand if you can hear me…" His voice was growing louder now, sparking hope inside of you.  
The odd sensation in your hand lingered, and you weren't sure if you could do what he was asking; but you squeezed anyways- at least you think you did.

"Sam!" Dean yelled. "She can hear me!"

"What?! How do you know?" There was Sam's voice now…he sounded out of breath…like he'd ran back to the room.

"She squeezed my hand!" Dean said to Sam.

 _'He felt that!'_ You jumped for joy on the inside…you might just pull through.

"That's incredible, Dean! Keep going!" Sam replied to him, and you could tell he was worried, but excited.

You knew you had to try…if you were truly being kept under by something, you had to **fight**. Your body should've been trying to heal itself by now, and you weren't sure why it hadn't…but then again, you never got to try that part out on yourself.

 _'Sam!_ ' You remembered healing Sam from the stab wound Asmodeus inflicted on him. Was it possible you could try that on yourself?

You tried to relax, gathering every bit of energy you could, and focused it all on waking up.

 _'If I can just **wake the fuck up** , I can try to heal the rest later…or maybe Cas can help…who cares. I've gotta open my eyes.'_

For a brief moment, you thought it wasn't working…that maybe you weren't strong enough. But suddenly, it felt as if you were being lassoed, and pulled back down from an extreme high; you felt the tips of your fingers tingling, and a falling sensation overtook you. The weight of being pulled back into consciousness was terrifying, and you wondered for a second if you'd actually made a mistake - until your eyes opened.

"Dean?"

* * *

Dean was there, hovering over you with an expression of relief you couldn't explain. The disheveled appearance of him startled you. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen as if he'd been crying, his skin ghostly pale, and his hair tousled about every which way. You could sense the source of the whiskey you smelled before…he was practically drenched in it.

Sam was beside him, looking just the same, minus the whiskey…but smelling a lot like coffee. A lot of it.

 _'Holy shitballs. I woke myself up…where's my pocket confetti when I need it?!'._

"(Y/n), baby how do you feel?" Dean's voice broke, and his hands grazed over each of your shoulders like he was afraid to touch you.

Your eyes darted around the room, and you tried to sit up, but your body felt so heavy…and you could barely draw in a breath. A sharp pain prodded and seared in your side, causing your lungs to burn in exhaustion.

"No, don't try to move. Just talk to us. How do you feel?" Sam told you, placing a gentle but giant hand on the sheet covering your knee.

"It hurts. I can't breathe…" You pushed the words out of your dry mouth, and licked your cracked lips in attempt to wet them; but all that did was allow you to taste the dried blood that lingered. Your throat was sore, and your voice hoarse…you must have screamed more than you remembered.

Dean's face twisted in mental anguish at your words. He couldn't stand seeing you like this. Not allowing his weakness to show for long, he forced a tight smile on his face.

"I know. I know it hurts…Cas will be back soon. Can you drink for me?" Dean's hand shook as he grabbed a bottle of water from the bed-side table for you. "Don't move…okay?" He said, and you tried to nod back to him.

He slid his free hand behind your head, lifting it gently. Slowly, he brought the bottle to your lips, and you'd be damned if that water didn't taste like heaven.

You drank until he pulled it away slowly, pulling his chair closer to the bed next to you.

 _'I've gotta tell them what I heard those sons of bitches say about locking up Asmodeus…'_ You remembered.

"The demons, they were…" You exhaled slowly, getting too excited for your lungs to handle. "…talking about locking up my Dad…with my blood?" Your throat was **on fucking fire.** It sounded like you smoked 12 packs a day, and drank whiskey for a living.

Sam and Dean looked at each other, then both turned back to you.

Sam's bitch-face startled you. " **No.** " He said, warning you with his eyes. "No more talk about any of that until you're better. Okay?"

You looked at Dean, who smiled a little at least, but tossed his thumb back over his shoulder at his brother. "What he said."

Usually you would've protested, rolled your eyes, or sighed in annoyance; but that was out of the question, given your range of movement…so you settled on a slight nod. But you still had a question on your mind.

"Did I die?" You croaked out, eyeing them suspiciously.

Dean's gaze fell from yours to his own hands, and he was silent.

Sam broke the silence. "I'm gonna give you guys a minute…" He smiled at you reassuringly, and softly patted your leg before he turned and left the room.

"Dean? Did I **die**?" Your pulse quickened with each second of his silence.

His head had lowered even further, and he sniffed, rubbing his tired eyes.

 _'Is he crying?'_

"No sweetheart, you didn't. You were close to it though." Slowly, he reached your hand and held it gently. His eyes finally met yours again, and they glistened with his fresh tears…all you wanted to do was wipe them away.  
"Damn it, I thought you were **gone**." He shook his head, and his voice trembled with the threat of exploding into a sob.

"They drugged me…?" You whispered, recalling the needle, and overhearing what Sam said earlier.

His tearful eyes met yours again, and he nodded yes, inhaling deeply. "Yeah, guess they found your kryptonite…"

You attempted to move your legs a bit, the urge to sit up was overwhelming you now. You wanted to hug him, you wanted to be well to make **him feel better** \- but you knew you couldn't push it.

You pried further. "What else happened?"

Dean cleared his throat, shaking himself of the emotion that was in jeopardy of escaping him. "They umm…they took you, and the others came…I couldn't get to you. There were too many-"

Seeing Dean's lower lip tremble furiously caused tears of your own to break free; the sight of him broke something in you completely.

"-Dean, it's **okay** -" Your small voice was interrupted by him as he stood abruptly.

"-No it's **not!** You almost died back there (Y/n)! Because I wasn't payin' attention. I wasn't **strong enough** …" He paused, taking deep breaths through flared nostrils in a struggle to restrain himself. "I heard you up there, screaming. A-And I- "

"-Dean **stop**." Your words were low in tone and volume, but they were strong, and wrangled Dean out of his own destructive state.

He swallowed hard, nodding down at you and taking his seat again beside the bed. "I'm sorry, sweetheart...we're damn lucky you came out of there alive." His voice was breathy, and still shaking with emotion. "I prayed to Cas, and Crowley came with him…that's how we got out."

"I remember Crowley, not Cas…where are they?" You spoke slowly, concentrating on every word.

He shook his head. "No idea. Cas said something about tracking down the demons that got away to find out what was in that syringe... and Crowley's either back in hell, or went with him."

You couldn't nod yes anymore. "Oh…" Eyeing the whiskey bottle on the nightstand, you glared at Dean. "Binge drinking?" You jeered, raising your eyebrows tiredly.

Ashamed, Dean ran a hand through his messy hair. "I, uh…I didn't handle it very well."

You weren't sure what to say back to that statement. You weren't mad about it, and definitely didn't judge him; you'd have done the same.

Dean's hand enveloped yours again, and you squeezed it as tight as you could.

"I heard some of what you were saying...when you were talking to me earlier." You said, trying the best you could to keep your eyes open.

Dean's green eyes widened, and his face sobered in an instant. "O-Oh. What'd you hear?" He ran his tongue over his lips in thought, averting your gaze completely now.

You gave his hand another squeeze, urging him to look at you, and reluctantly he did. The color in his face flushed, and you could sense his heart racing. Even among the agonizing pain coursing through you, you were relishing in the fact you were making the infamous Dean Winchester nervous.

"Just something about you loving me…can't remember the rest." You smiled weakly at him, even though you were lying.

* * *

That night, you had coaxed Dean to sit on the bed with you. He had told you no at first, too afraid of hurting you. But he relaxed at some point, and even helped you sit up - which he initially said no to, as well.

He ordered you on strict bed rest until you were healed; either by yourself, or Cas. It'd been a long time since you had a sick day.

Your lower half was still covered by the sheet, and Dean had apparently undressed you and put you in one of his t-shirts. You had been slipping in and out of consciousness for most the day, but never for long…and you were both thankful for that.

Each time you woke after drifting off, you felt better than you had before. You were regaining movement (not a lot), and you could shakily, but easily lift your arms now. And you were beginning to think you'd done a little more than just making yourself wake up earlier…maybe you kick-started your own healing process. You wanted to try again, but you somehow knew you didn't have the strength yet.

Dean sat stoically beside you, scared to get too close. "Can you drink again?" He was holding the third water bottle up to your mouth, causing you to give him a deathly glare.

"I've drank **three bottles of water Dean.** " Your hoarse voice was annoyed, but you reeled it in enough to show you were thankful for him caring. "I already have to pee…" You looked at him with a pained expression.

'This poor guy is gonna have to carry my sorry ass straight to the toilet.'

Dean surprised you when he wasn't startled, or overly-sensitive about your predicament. There was no way in hell you could walk.

He leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. "I gotcha, princess."

Climbing off the bed, he came around and as slowly as he could, slipped his arms underneath you. You gasped when his hand grazed one of the lesions on your back, causing him to say 'I'm sorry' about a million times fast.

"Ya know, it's not everyday I get carried to the bathroom…I could get used to it…" You laughed, then coughed a bit as your raw throat betrayed your voice.

"As long as I'm the one doin' it, sweetheart." 

* * *

"How many **are there?** " You asked. You were laying on your stomach as Dean lifted his t-shirt you were wearing up to your shoulders. It was 2:00 am the next morning, and you weren't awake long before he insisted on cleaning your wounds on your back and chest. You were thankful that he cared enough to do it, but you were less than excited about the impending pain.

Sam had finally gone to sleep, knowing you were awake now and in good hands. He had sat with you earlier while Dean had gone to get you a pain pill (which you happily accepted), and you felt terrible guilt at seeing his worn expression.  
He had told you they hadn't slept since they'd been back from the hunt; although he admitted to falling asleep in the chair once or twice. Sam made a point to tell you how Dean hadn't left your side, not once…and you realized how lucky you were to have them.

"Only five on your back that needed stitches…" Dean replied gruffly, as his eyes settled on a fresh reminder of nearly losing you.

" **Only** five? Wow, I'm gonna look like a real masterpiece with all these scars." You said bitterly, but quietly into the pillow. The thought of how many marks those sons of bitches really left on you was infuriating. You weren't vain by any means, you were a hunter and used to getting scars; but this was different, it was personal.

Dean placed a careful, soft kiss on your shoulder, caressing your arm with his free hand.

"Don't say that. They'll go away, and even if they don't…" He kissed your shoulder again, making you wish you were well enough for 'extracurricular' activities. "…I think scars are freakin' sexy."

You laughed a bit at his attempt to comfort you, causing the pain in your ribs and side swelled again, making you wince.

Dean cleaned every gash on your back meticulously, breathing out small words of encouragement each time you flinched or tensed up at his touch.

"Almost done, hang in there." He murmured, pausing briefly before pressing the alcohol-soaked gauze on it's next victim.

Nodding in reply, you dared to take a deep breath…and it was easier that time.

He rubbed your side gently, letting you know he was through with your back. He pulled the shirt back down, and helped you turn over cautiously.  
You grimaced at the movement, but were happy to be able to see Dean's face again…you felt oddly attached to him, needy for comfort.

"Chest, sweetheart…three altogether there, but one on your shoulder…you okay?" He asked you, his eyes pleading you for a positive answer.

"I'm good. Let's just get it over with." You stated, watching as he stretched to the end of the bed for one of the small towels that were there. You could tell by the pile of dirty blood soaked towels in the corner, that most of the bunker's hand and bath towels were used in cleaning you up. You felt terrible for Dean having to do that.

Dean lifted the over-sized black t-shirt up, and slid the towel quickly over your breasts without looking. You tried not to laugh too hard at his attempt at chivalry, because it really was adorable. You slid your arms out, and settled your eyes on him again, pursing your lips together to contain your humor.

His eyes narrowed at you suspiciouslyr. "What are you laughing at?"

And you couldn't help it…you laughed; it was terribly painful, and sent sharp pains down your windpipe; but it was worth it. "The towel thing…it was sweet."

He shook his head grinning, running his tongue over his teeth as he did. "Oh, I thought I'd protect your honor and all that." He winked at you, sending that familiar warmth throughout you. Then, his expression was saddened in an instant. "I actually had some practice earlier." Dean nodded toward the pile of ruined towels you'd just spotted.

You looked at him. "Oh…thank you Dean. That must've been hard."

His watery eyes locked on yours, and he pursed his lips in a forced smile. "Nah. Wasn't too bad."

You compelled yourself to smile back. "Liar." He obviously didn't want to get too touchy-feely about it…so you erred on the lighter side of caution.

"No, really- your clothes got the butt end of it, me and Sammy had to cut 'em off." He said jokingly. He gestured to the floor behind him, where the blood-soaked pieces of denim and cloth that once were your clothes laid.

Your eyes widened. The thought of Sam seeing you naked was terrifying…he was like your brother now. Dean saw your face, and grinned widely.

"D-Did Sam… **see me?** " You asked, horrified.

Dean held a hand up to you. "Nope. Like I said, all your honor was protected. Now that you're mine, it's my job to do that."

He let his words trail off suggestively when he realized the weight of them, and he returned his attention to the gash on your shoulder. Your heart jumped when you heard him say that though.

You both knew you belonged to one another at this point, and you even professed your love for each other to your creep of a Father.  
But something about it still hung in the air, especially since the two of you hadn't really spoken about the relationship aspect of it all…it genuinely was a first for you, and you had no idea how to handle that.  
Were you supposed to set boundaries? Were you living in **his** room, or did you need to jump Cas's ass about getting you a new door? Did you need to put heart emoji's next his contact info in your phone…?

 _'Uggghhh.'_

You were ripped away from your inner conflict by the cold gauze on your shoulder. It made you jerk, and Dean shot you a gentle but warning glance to remind you not to move. It stung like hell, but you weren't about to whine about it…you were somewhat used to this.

You could tell he was trying to read your face out of the corner of his eye, and you wondered if you should say something to end the awkward silence.

Instead, he cleared his throat nervously. "So, uh… ya know, now that I think about it…" Dean paused, twisting to meet your gaze and putting his hand on your forearm. "I don't think I ever really, uh - **asked you**."

You waited for him to keep going, but he appeared to assume you knew what he was referring to; and you did, but you couldn't be the one to say it.

"Ask me what?" 'I play dumb like a rockstar.' You grinned on the inside.

Dean licked his lips anxiously. "I haven't asked you to be, ya know, **official** yet. I mean, I'm no good at 'relationship' stuff, but I know I'm supposed to…" He hung his head a bit like he was arguing with himself internally.

You shifted uncomfortably, hating to see Dean nervous. "Dean, we don't have to talk about that ri-"

He interrupted you. "No, let me do this, I **need to**. I don't care if I sound like a damn ten year-old, either. I made a promise to myself I'd do things right with you…" He paused, sliding his hand down your forearm to your hand and holding it.

 _'Ohhh snap.'_

"(Y/n), I love you. You drive me crazy, I can't get enough of you. You're the **only** one I want, and I wanna lock this down, I want you all to myself - mine, and **mine only**." He gazed at you, holding your hand with conviction.  
"I want you to sleep in my bed with me, wear my clothes, and be the **only** man you make love to, for as long as you can put up with me. Is that a deal?"

Your eyes were wide, pupils blown, and your mouth was stark dry. _'Deaaal! Call in the cavalry. Hoooly shit!'_

You mustered up every bit of strength you had, and sat up rigidly, clutching the towel to your chest.

"That's a deal." You smirked. You felt Dean's arm wrapped around to the small of your bare back, drawing you into him. He cupped your face with his free hand, and his lips met yours urgently, until he was reminded of your injuries. He slowed his advance on you and kissed you slowly.

Your mouth parted slightly to invite him in, and his tongue dominated the embrace instantly. His hand on your face gradually moved behind your head, locking his hand in your hair and deepening his kiss.

 _'Jesus christ, I'm in love.'_ You thought.

As you sat side by side completely involved in each other, your nakedness dawned on you. The sheet still covered your lower half, but the towel you clutched to your chest was the only other article that hid you. You felt the heat pooling between your legs, along with the desire that flared for Dean.

You gripped his shoulder and whimpered into his mouth, while his arduous, but passionate assault on you continued.  
Your free hand instinctively fell to his lap where you felt his hard bulge, but he stopped you before you could do a thing.

Ever so carefully he guided you to lie back down again; then surprised you by bending over your mid-section, closing in on your ribs. His lips grazed over the black and blue colors, peppering kisses over them. He made his way up your side to the large turquoise bruise at the top of your rib cage, just beneath the hem of the towel that covered your breasts.

You wrapped your weak arms around his neck, and let your eyes fall shut with contentment.

Then, to your elation, you felt his hand creeping up your stomach, tugging the towel to the side to expose your breasts.  
Dean's soft kisses worked upwards reluctantly, like he was trying to stop himself. His lips made a trail from the bottom of your breast to your nipple, which was hardening by the second at his touch. You ran your fingers through his hair, and wished with all your might that you were better again.

 _'Fuuuuck…I need him right now…'_ Your insides were soaring, but you were hitting the gas and the brake at the same time, and it was **killing you**. You both knew you were too weak for sex…but **jesus christ** you wanted each other.

"You are **all mine** , princess…" Dean breathed out against your breast, in a primitive low groan.

At last, his warm lips fell on your nipple, and you held your breath to keep from moaning. He drew it into his eager mouth, shifting his position over you at his arousal. His breathing quickened as he sucked with conviction, and your arms tugging around his neck only urged him further.

His free hand was caressing your uninjured side, moving from your hip up to your other breast, and back down again. His hand lingered there at your hip bone, trying to decide whether or not to go further past it.  
Slowly, he released you and pulled away to look at you. War was waging in his eyes, he wanted you as badly as you wanted him.

You knew why he was stopping. "Dean…please!"

"(Y/n) there's a million things I could do to you right now…but we can't do this, not until you're better…" He smiled softly at you.

You winced in agony at your predicament. "Okay…just as long as we can make it up later."

He grinned at you. "Ohh, that's a promise sweetheart."


	21. Blood Runs Thick

Two days had gone by, and the idea that you might never feel better again was spreading through you like wildfire. Dean and Sam had kept you to the confines of Dean's room- well, now your room too -for the entire previous day. But today was different. Today, you had smuggled yourself out of bed and hobbled to the library secretly.

Being able to walk (albeit wobbly) was a huge milestone, but your broken bones and stitched up lesions still held their grudges against you. The only other thing that was awful now was the incredulous nausea…it stuck to you like glue since the day before, and it was holding on tight. Sam told you it was probably due to the few pain pills you'd taken throughout the past few days; since you weren't one to indulge in those either, you knew he was probably right.

It was around noon you supposed, but you didn't bother checking the time- it wasn't like you were waiting on the doctor to come give you a magic 'make me feel better pill'. You wished, though.

Dean had been nothing but doting. It was the sweetest thing ever, but him babying you made you feel…invalid. And you couldn't stand that, but the heart to tell him just didn't exist in you. You were in nothing but one of Dean's old Rolling Stones t-shirts and a pair of red, lacy underwear; he'd handed them to you with the t-shirt, and you couldn't help but smile. How…Dean of him. Apparently, while you'd been sleeping the night before, he took the liberty of moving your things into his room for you.

He was more than proud of himself, showcasing the extra drawer space he made for your things, and you had to admit you were pretty impressed. He even organized your underwear drawer. You shouldn't have been surprised at that though…he probably thoroughly enjoyed it…and you enjoyed the thought of him doing it for you.

You curled up in none other than Sam's cozy armchair, only because you weren't supposed to sit in it. You smiled smugly as you sank down into it's plush confines, clutching a book to your chest in comfort. This room was the best in the bunker in your opinion, if you could you'd pull a bed in and make it your room.

You released a long soft sigh when you heard what you'd been dreading.

"(Y/n)?!" Dean's worried voice quaked throughout the bunker, making you jump.

'Ohhh fuck meeee. I'm in trouble.' You thought. 'Shouldn't have left the damn bed…'

"(Y/n), this isn't funny!" Sam's bellowing tone rang out alongside his brother's, and that almost made you more nervous, because now they were both pissed.

You closed your eyes in frustration. 'Moment of silence equals…over.'

"Why are you hiding?" Castiel asked, making you yelp in shock as he appeared in front of you.

"Jesus-fucking-mother-fucking shit Cas!!" You yelled, clutching your chest to calm your breathing.

He reared his head back, surprised at your reaction. He had returned the night before with Crowley in tow (unfortunately, as Sam had said), with sadly no news to bear.

"I'm…sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you." He said, shuffling toward you. "But, why are you hiding?"

Sinking back into the chair, you explained. "I just had to get out of that bed for a little bit. Sam and Dean are the best, they are! But…I mean, Dean tried to feed me my breakfast this morning, Cas! I just-" He interrupted you, with a look of sheer understanding on his face now.

"-You don't enjoy being 'coddled'."

You smiled appreciatively. "Yes. Exactly."

Tilting his head, he casually put his hands in his trench coat pockets. "And you don't want to hurt their feelings by telling them that…"

You nodded, shifting in your seat uncomfortably. You were starting to ache and throb again everywhere, and you wished you'd taken their 'bed-rest' orders to heart and stayed there.

Cas looked at you with sympathy as he watched you rub your neck in pain. "Can I help?"

You smiled sideways at him, rolling your neck from side to side. "If you can get me back to bed, that'd be great."

His face brightened, moving toward you. He extended you his hand, but you remembered something critical, and stopped him.

"Wait- Cas, what if I-" He interrupted you, knowing what was on your mind

"I'm prepared this time, if your body attempts to 'siphon' my grace or energy, I can stop it. Don't worry." He smiled.

You nodded, and agreed to take his help. He re-extended his hand out to you, taking yours and helped you up from the chair. Your knees were unforgiving though, and you stumbled into his chest as he caught you.

"Sorry. I'm not as well as I thought." You mumbled, in absolute hatred of the helpless wreck you'd become.

"It's not your fault, (y/n)." Cas said, bending to scoop you up in his arms. An arm behind your knees, and one around your shoulders, he held you like that for what felt like a life time- just looking at you, studying you.

"What's wrong?" You asked him.

He smiled sadly, as his blue eyes penetrated yours. "Nothing. I'm just sorry this happened to you…I should've been there."

Your face dropped, absentmindedly toying with his tie in your left hand. "Don't be, Cas. You showed up, that's all you could do."

He nodded, and broke into a stride toward the opposite exit in the library. "I suppose so."

Finally in your room, Cas had managed to smuggle to you past Dean and Sam with a huge grin on your both of your faces.

He was bending forward to lay you down, when suddenly, another wave of nausea hit you out of nowhere. Your mouth filled with saliva unwillingly, and you scrambled from Cas's hold and toward the trash can next to the bed.

Thankfully, there wasn't much that needed to come up anyways- but still, you fucking hated throwing up…especially in front of other people. But at least you made it to the trash can…

As you heaved over it, you felt Castiel's hands on your neck sweeping your hair back from your face.

At last, you sat upright with a shameful look on your face as Cas retrieved a damp cloth from the bathroom for you.

"(Y/n)! Where the hell were yo- what's wrong?" Right on time, Dean came striding in to see Cas sitting next to you, arm around you while you held the cloth up to your face.

"She vomited." Cas stated matter-of-factly. You groaned at his blunt answer through the cloth, letting it slide down your face.

"Why? You still feel sick?" Dean asked, moving forward and crouching down at your feet.

Your face was beet red from the exertion, and bloodshot red streaks plagued your eyes as you nodded to him.

"Sick, are we?" Crowley's unwelcome voice sounded from the doorway now.

'I fucking hate when he does that! When Cas does it, it's cute. When he does it, it's creepy.' You thought.

"Can you not Crowley?" Your voice broke and wavered, hoarse from the acid stinging your throat.

His face contorted, offended at your statement. "Fine, have it your way…I didn't have anything to help you anyways." He rolled his eyes, holding up a mason jar with a disgusting maroon liquid inside it.

"What the hell is that?" Dean asked, crinkling his nose. Cas eyed Crowley suspiciously.

He came to the side of the bed alongside Dean, and held it out to you. "A little concoction from mother dearest. It's a cure-all, to say the least. It'll give you what you need to heal."

Reluctantly, you took it from him. "What is it?"

Crowley stared at you. "You don't want to know, believe me."

Dean shot you a warning look, and Castiel's arm tightened around your shoulders unexpectedly. "Believe me, we do." He said.

Crowley huffed, sighing as he silently did inventory of the concoction in his head. "Several kinds of herbs, spices, bone of a lesser saint- finely ground by yours truly, I might add -and my blood. Nothing too terrible." He grinned proudly at you, like he expected you to pay him for it.

"Your blood?" Dean asked, anger rising as he stood and turned to him.

"Yes, it'll do her good…you can ask Rowena. She can bloody siphon what she needs out of it- I'm not too keen on letting her have a go at getting all touchy-feely with me, so the blood will have to do-" Crowley paused. "-unless you want to…" He peered around Dean at you and gave you a wink, making you feel the urge to vomit all over again.

"Fuck you." You spat, setting the jar and it's gross inhabitants on the nightstand.

"(Y/n) I'm hurt, quite frankly…who do you think saved your ass the other day?" He taunted, still glaring at you.

You sighed. 'I so do not have the energy for him right now…' You thought.

"Look, I remember you being there, but not saving me. So what's your point?" You glared at Crowley, but saw Dean hang his head slightly, so you knew it was true.

"My feelings are hurt yet again- Squirrel, I can't believe you didn't tell her about my utter heroism." He glared daggers at Dean, who shot them right back. "Point is love, I'm on your side of the court. Trust me." He said, glancing between you, Dean and Castiel.

"Cas?" You looked at him, questioning him with your eyes as to whether you should drink what Crowley gave you. If anyone could give you the right advice in this instant, it'd be the Angel.

"I…I don't like it, but I think he's right (Y/n). You need to heal." He replied, withdrawing his arm from you to look at the floor.

Dean wheeled back around at the two of you. "Really? You're gonna drink that knowing his friggin' blood is in there?" He pointed at the glass, then stared at you in disbelief.

You couldn't believe you were about to either. "It'll help Dean."

He realized how edgy he was getting over something that could help you, and instantly changed his attitude. "Okay…uh, bottoms up." He picked up the jar and handed it back to you, as you saw Crowley's face fill with victory and satisfaction.

You held up the jar to peer in once more, then tilted it up to Dean. "Cheers…" And you drank.

'Well fuck me running…' You thought to yourself as you tasted it.

It…tasted…fucking…heavenly. You were so surprised at how good it tasted in fact, that you actually faked a foul expression while you drank it to keep Crowley from feeling too satisfied with himself.

Instantly, you felt a rush of…adrenaline? You were sure it couldn't have been adrenaline, but you drank it to the last drop as it was.

"Finger licking good, love?" Crowley took the jar from you with another wink, purposefully brushing his fingers on top of yours, making you cringe.

Dean and Cas watched you carefully as you shrugged and licked your lips. "Wasn't terrible, but it was still gross." You crinkled your nose, wiping the corners of your mouth with your fingers. "For what it's worth…thank you."

"You still owe me." He said, stalking out of the room like you'd begged him to fix you in the first place.

This was fucking crazy. A few hours later, you were almost feeling like yourself again- you were still achy and sore, but you were healing…and fast. So fast in fact, the bruising on your ribs had already dissipated to soft shades of blue and purple; and the gashes and cuts on your back and chest itched with improvement.

You stayed in bed at Dean's very sincere 'request' - but jesus christ you wanted to walk, run…something!!

"Dean!!" You hollered in a whine, turning the tv off in boredom and tossing the remote on the bed.

Dean appeared at the doorway in an instant, and you'd expected no less from him.

"I'm going nuts. Can we please just go somewhere?" You lulled your head back as you pleaded.

He climbed onto the bed with you, and rolled to his side next to you. "That's a hard no, sweetheart. Just 'cause Crowley's 'demonic V8' got your blood pumpin' again doesn't mean you're all better."

You rolled your eyes, running a hand through your (y/h/c) hair, as Dean took your other hand in his. "Dean, c'mon. Please? I heard Sam saying earlier he's going to the store. Or even better, you can let me look for cases- we don't have to take any now, but-"

"No." Dean cut you off bitterly, getting up from the bed.

You scoffed at him. "Wow, bossy… you can't make me stay in this fucking bed, you're not my dad-"

You started to swing your legs over the side, when from the other side of the bed you felt a strong hand grab your arm, yanking you back down hard. In a flash, Dean was on top of you with both your wrists in each of his hands, holding you down on the bed. Your breath hitched in your throat as he dipped down next to your ear to speak.

"I will tie you to this fucking bed and make you call me Daddy." He pulled away and looked at you with darkness in his eyes, searching your face for hints of disapproval; but you knew he'd find none.

You gulped, and were at a complete loss for words. "Kay…" You whispered. You hadn't really experienced Dean that intimidating before…and it was hot! Fuck, was it sexy.

He kept his face stern, slowly releasing your wrists. "Good."

"I am going pee though, FYI…" You spoke softly, feeling him move off you with a kiss on your forehead.

"Right back in bed after that, got it? I'm gonna go help Sammy make a list." His straight face remained, but he winked at you on his way out the door, making you grin girlishly.

Then, another familiar wave of nausea hit you, and you barely made it to the toilet in time.

"What the actual fuck?!" You yelled in frustration after you brushed your teeth, tossing your hand towel to the floor angrily.

You couldn't believe you threw up again.

'What the hell is wrong with me?!! I feel fine!' You thought, rubbing your eyes and leaving the bathroom. It was when you sat back down that it hit you like a motherfucker.

'Jesus christ. What if…'

Your pulse sped with anxiety, and you got back up and began to pace back and forth restlessly. It couldn't be though.

'Am I fucking pregnant?' You thought, putting a hand on your quivering stomach, feeling tears sting your eyes. It had to be impossible. Sure, you and Dean had been fucking like rabbits, but you were on the pill- and that should work…right?

'There's no fucking way!! I have taken every single pill-' Your thoughts were ripped from you as your heart jumped in your throat.

You dashed to the nightstand, rummaging through the top drawer like a mad-woman. Several colorful words later, you found your birth control.

'HA! See? All up to speed…wait.'

You frantically recounted, checking the dates again and again- you were five behind…and you remembered exactly which days you'd missed, counting the past two you'd been practically unconscious for. And as the math added up, your 'lady friend' should've visited you by now- but it could just be stress…right? Periods came late for you all the time, but this was different. There had never been a man in the mix until now.

Your thoughts ran wild, and you collapsed back down to the bed as fear and panic vibrated through you.

What if you were? Did you even want kids? Did Dean want them? You heard what he'd said when you were all drugged up, but still- what the hell would he do?

Your posture straightened immediately when you heard a soft knock at the door, along with Sam's voice.

"(Y/n), you up?" He asked through the door. "Making a supply run, do you anything?"

'As a matter of fact…'

"Yeah!" You yelled unexpectedly, wincing with embarrassment. Sam opened the door.

"Uh…okay? What do you need? Dean asked me to get him more beef jerky…ugh." He asked, making a grossed out face, pen and paper in hand.

You cleared your throat, and held your hand out. "Can I write it down?"

Suspiciously, Sam handed you the pen and paper and watched with soft scrutiny as you wrote.

You held the paper to your chest and looked up at him with pleading eyes. "Sam, I need you to be discreet." That was all you could muster yourself to say before passing the pen and paper back to him, simultaneously avoiding his eyes. You didn't want to see his reaction, but you did.

His jaw clenched at first, but then he let out a low 'hmm' sound, and stared at your mid-section like you were already showing. "You're pregnant?"

His eyes were happy, but his face was etched with concern as you stood up, crossing your arms over your chest. You didn't even care you were only wearing Dean's t-shirt … you were scared shitless- and Sam had seen way more skin on you than you'd like to know of at this point.

"I-I don't know, I'm…late." You mumbled out, fresh tears building a rebellion in your eyes.

Sam shifted on his feet. To you, he looked excited…not freaked out like you would expect.

"(Y/n)…It'll be okay. C'mere." Sam strode forward to you, gathering your wrecked self in his arms for one of his infamous 'feel better instantly' hugs.

"Dean's gonna be fucking furious." You whimpered into his chest, all of a sudden terrified at all the 'what-ifs' that lay before you.

Sam chuckled a bit. "No he isn't, I promise. Just calm down, and wait for the test alright? I'll hurry." You nodded, feeling him give you another reassuring squeeze as he planted a kiss on the top of your head.

"Thanks Sam."

You'd brought yourself to get dressed in some comfortable clothes, trembling with a cold sweat. You slipped into your favorite black tank and a pair of soft cozy pants you usually wore on your morning runs. And finally to your relief, Dean was holding you in his arms just lounging on the bed with you. Some ridiculous B-rated horror film was on, and it was a nice distraction until you couldn't even focus on the terrible acting anymore.

"This is nice, huh?" Dean murmured next to your ear. "This is somethin' we don't get to do a lot with our jobs, ya know?" He took another swig of his beer before returning it to the bed-side table.

You nodded, completely lost in thought. Your fears were still rampant with the idea that you could most definitely be pregnant.

"(Y/n)? You in there?" Dean shook you out of your thoughts, rolling over to look at you. "What's wrong? You haven't said a word this whole time."

You scrambled for something to say. "I-I'm sorry, I'm just not feeling too good again…" You managed to force a smile on your lips.

"You want me to make Crowley make you another 'blood cocktail'?" He asked with complete sincerity. And the mention of that drink actually made you crave it.

'What the fuck is wrong with me?!' You thought, cringing inwardly at how much you actually wanted it.

"No…I don't wanna ask him for a damn thing." You replied.

Dean tilted his head a bit with understand. "Okay, want some water? Beer?" He offered his to you, and you nodded bringing it to your lips, but stopping short.

Dean looked at you with question in his eyes as you handed it back to him. "Nah…It sounded good at first but I don't think I should."

'If I'm pregnant, I shouldn't drink…' You thought.

He was studying you earnestly now, just waiting for you to say something else.

"Dean I'm fine, I swear." You told him, taking his hand in yours again.

"(Y/n) you're a terrible liar." He sighed, turning the TV off and turning to look at you again.

'Nooo! Oooh shit. I don't want to tell him…he's going to freak. No, he's gonna be pissed. Like furious. What kind of hunter wants kids?!' You thought. 'Yeah I want them, I love kids- but this fucking life, the hunting…what if…'

Dean's eyes penetrated yours, worried. "Please tell me what you're thinking. Did I do something? Is it about earlier, the whole ' tyin' you to the bed' thing? Cause that was more of a joke… unless you really wanna-" You interrupted him.

"No! No Dean you didn't do anything, I promise. I'm just tired-" Just then, Sam's voice was ringing out through the bunker.

"Dean, (Y/n)! I'm back!" He hollered for your attention.

You moved to get up, eager to escape the conversation, but Dean stopped you. "Hey, we're gonna talk about this, okay?"

You nodded in agreement and followed Dean out to meet Sam, hoping he'd found a good way to conceal the pregnancy test. You saw him unpacking several groceries, more than he usually bought, and he was bubbly…like ridiculously bubbly.

"Hey! How'r you feeling?" He looked at you over his shoulder.

"Ehh. Been better…" You replied, hinting to him to get you the damn test before Dean started rummaging.

Immediately he remembered, and turned towards the several paper bags on the counter. "(Y/n), I got you some medicine…" He passed you the paper bag as nonchalantly as he could, and reached for another. "…Dean, here's the greasiest beef jerky I could find." Sam grinned, distributing the next bag to Dean.

"Yesss!" Dean growled, about to dig into the bag fiercely.

You took his love affair with beef jerky as a good distraction, and scurried off to the bathroom to hide the test. You knew you didn't have to take it right now, but you didn't want Dean to see it, not until you were sure.

You shut and locked the door behind you with a long sigh, thankful for Sam's good thinking with the paper bags.

Knowing you didn't have a lot of time to find a hiding place for it, you opened the bag immediately, looking inside.

'Oh…my…fucking…god.' Your heart stopped. 'Beef jerky. This is motherfucking beef jerky!! I got Dean's bag! Ohhhh-oh my god.' Tears were threatening in your eyes, and you clutched your chest as your heart pounded hard against it with realization.

'Dean's got the bag with my test in it. Ohhh kill me now.' You thought.

You closed the bag up, darting back out of the bathroom and trying not to break out in a full out run back to the kitchen. You had to catch Dean before he opened that bag.

You rounded the corner and came to a dead halt. You saw Dean holding the pregnancy in disbelief, and Sam watching helplessly with his mouth hanging half open.

Dean's mouth was agape, his brows furrowed as he read the words on the box.

"What the hell is this?" He turned to Sam first, not seeing you behind him just yet.

Sam's face writhed, and he cracked his knuckles nervously. He looked past Dean at you with an 'I'm sooo sorry' expression, making Dean turn around to face you.

"You care to explain?" He held it up and stalked toward you with his head tilted, and eyebrows raised. Jesus, he looked like Hannah had when she found a pack of cigarettes in your purse at 15 years old.

And that scared the shit out of you.

You remained silent, with no words to explain it to him…it was a pregnancy test, it spoke for itself. He was feet away from you now, and all you wanted to do was run.

"Are you pregnant ?" Dean's brows furrowed at you with question.

You looked at the floor. "I might be."

Dean closed his eyes with a sigh, and you knew that was a bad sign. "I thought you were on the pill?" His voice was still militant and rough on your ears, and his questions more demanding than they should've been.

"I am! I-I think I missed some…" You stammered out, completely flustered.

Dean ground his teeth, glaring at you. "You missed some? And you didn't tell me?"

Anger began swelling in you now, knowing he had no fucking right to talk to you that way. A lot had happened the past month, and you were glad just to be alive the day before.

"It's not like that! A lot has happened the past few weeks Dean, I had no intention-" He cut you off angrily before you could finish.

"-Dammit (Y/n), I don't wanna hear it!" He yelled, causing fresh tears to well in you. But you couldn't cry, not right now. "You do realize what we do for a living, right?!"

"Dean!" Sam scolded his brother's harshness, and as Dean turned to look at him, you took off back to the room without a word. You didn't fucking need this.

You were furious.

'How fucking dare he act like that?!' You thought, lacing up your boots with rage. You'd thrown on a pair of jeans and your dark green canvas jacket, ready to bounce. You needed to leave…get away, take a god damned breath.

'Here you go again dumbass, running away from your problems.' You rolled your eyes at yourself, waging war inside your head at what you were doing. Half of you knew you and Dean needed to stay a team; but the bitch behind 'door number two' was screaming 'fuck it'.

You felt another bout of nausea rolling through your stomach, and you wrapped your arms around your mid-section in attempt to control it. Your anger overwhelmed it though, and it settled back down immediately.

Ready to flee, you slung your bag over your shoulder, not even sure what you'd thrown into it while you were seeing red.

You took a deep breath, and released it with uncertainty as you unlocked the bedroom door you'd hope would keep Dean away from you for now.

Opening it, all your plans for leaving were dashed, and your rage had reeled itself in momentarily.You saw Dean standing there, hand outreached as he was about to try for the door knob himself.

Instantly his eyes looked you up and down, seeing you dressed with your bag in hand, and his face fell pale with horror. "Baby, don't…please…" He still had your pregnancy test in his hand, clutching it with white knuckles and watering eyes.

You gulped, and decided your feet were the most interesting thing at this moment.

"Are you leaving?" He asked you quietly, the emphases on the word 'leaving' reluctantly leaving his lips.

You nodded slowly, averting his gaze. "I just need a night or two, Dean…" You knew if you looked at him, your heart would break.

A suppressed sob sounded from the back of his throat, but he looked away from you and shook his head at your words in disbelief.

You started to maneuver past him, expecting him to move, but he didn't. His hand caught your shoulder stopping you there, while his other hand landed flat against your stomach.

You paused, closing your eyes briefly to restrain yourself from saying something you'd regret.

"(Y/n) I can't let you. It's not safe, you know that." He blinked fast, willing his tears into retreat, and continued.

You wanted to punch something, because it was never safe.

"I'll go down the hall then." You said stoically, picking up your bag and brushing past him. You pretended you weren't bawling like a god damned child the whole walk down the hall.

"(Y/n)…" Dean called out to you, trotting to catch up.

'Motherfucker! I'm not gonna turn around and let him see what a wreck I am!' You thought.

You stopped in your tracks, jaw and fists clenched as you felt him behind you.

"Are you gonna…take this?"

'The test.' Butterflies fluttered through you with anxiety, once again reminded of the possibility.

"Yeah…" You cleared your throat, and hoped you didn't give away that you were raking tears off your face at the same time.

When you turned around slowly to face him, his eyes met yours…and he broke. "Sweetheart I'm sorry. I-I got scared… I'm a fuckin' jerk for acting like that." He didn't look a gift horse in the mouth by saying anymore. You didn't see any tears in his eyes, but they were forming quickly.

You nodded, because you knew if you spoke to him you'd be the one in tears again. You took the box from his hand, your fingertips brushing each others.

His eyes lingered on yours briefly as you turned away from him.

You scooped your bag off the floor and started walking toward your old (still very doorless) room. But while you adjusted your duffel over your shoulder, you heard him call out to you again. "Marry me."

Your feet stopped moving at once; and at first your heart fluttered, but the warm feeling soon spread to anger.

You whirled around to respond to him, but he didn't move. "Whatever happens with this test (Y/n), marry me."

You tossed your bag down furiously. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" You yelled, throwing your hands in the air. "First you yell at me, then you ask me to marry you?!"

Dean's mouth twitched. "…is that a maybe?"

'Ooo-ohhh I'm gonna kill him.' You thought.

You marched over to him, getting angrier at the fact that he stood taller and wasn't budging. You stood in front of him, chest heaving, and raised your eyebrows at him in a dare, awaiting his next answer.

He raised his brows back down at you sarcastically, sending you to the edge of a temper tantrum. Dean sensed your outrage, and spoke again.

"I love you…and I'm not goin' anywhere. I'm right down the hall if you need me, princess." You stood still. You clenched your teeth and fumed at his calmness, as he bent down and gave you a peck on the forehead.

As he turned to walk away, you felt the urge to yell more, scream, throw something at him- but that wouldn't help anything. And nothing would make this terrible feeling in your gut disappear but him…and you knew that.

"Asshole." You hadn't really meant to say it out loud; but when he turned back to you with the biggest, smuggest grin you'd ever seen, you knew you had.

"Did you just call me an asshole?" He asked, almost laughing out loud.

Your entire facade broke with his expression, and a smirk played on your lips as you tried to hide it with a tough nod. You barely even registered the fact that he was coming back to you; until his strong arms enveloped you, kissing you hard.

Even with your hesitation, you deepened the kiss before he slowly pulled away. His forehead rested on yours, and your world started spinning again. This was right…he was home to you.

"C'mon…you need to take this." He gestured to the box you still held onto, and you nodded in reply but didn't move.

"Forgive me?" He asked, brushing your hair out of your face. Of course you did. Who were you kidding?

"You know I do."

You emerged from the bathroom, white plastic stick in hand. Your palms were sweating, and Dean couldn't sit down to save his fucking life.

"How much longer? What's it say?" He asked, peeking over your shoulder at the oval window on the test.

You sighed. "Dean, we will both know in a minute." You replied, reminding yourself that he was just as scared as you were. But you had to admit, he didn't look frightened- in fact, he looked excited to you.

"Will it beep?" He asked again, breaking the silence once more. You wheeled around, giving him a 'try me' look.

Dean cleared his throat in response, waving his question away with his hand. "Are…you okay? I mean, we haven't exactly…talked about this."

You looked up at him with uncertainty. "I haven't had time to register it… Are you okay?" You held your breath as you waited for him to answer.

'He is probably so freaked out right now…' You thought.

"I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be happy." He was staring down at you, making a redness fill your cheeks. But just as you were about to respond, the timer on your watch sounded, making you and Dean look at each other before looking down at the test.

Not Pregnant.

For a minute, your heart flooded with relief before it sank altogether. Dean pursed his lips with dismay, before giving you a weak smile.

"See? Nothin' to worry about." His face said he was relieved, but his eyes were pitiful at hiding the disappointment in them.

"Oh, bloody hell…you're not pregnant, you dim-wits!" Crowley's voice struck the air offensively as you both jumped, seeing him in the doorway.

"Screw you Crowley, beat it!" Dean yelled, moving toward him with malicious intent. He held his hands up.

"I'll explain it for you then, hmm?" Crowley said defensively, looking back and forth between Dean and yourself.

"Explain what?" You spat angrily, feeling nauseated just at his presence; but even as you loathed him, you wanted to be closer to him, and you couldn't quite explain why.

Crowley smirked at you. "You're feeling it, aren't you love?"

"Feeling what? Pissed that you're standing here right now? Yup, sure am." You crossed your arms furiously.

He rolled his eyes at you, and continued. "You're addicted." Crowley replied, his emphases on the word threw you, and Dean looked at you in confusion.

"What do you mean, I'm addicted?" You asked, tossing the test down and wishing you had something to kill the son of a bitch with.

"To me, to my blood. How do you think you lived through a beating like that, love? I healed you." Crowley smirked with pride and paused, relishing in your bewilderment.

"Back at that house, you were within an inch of your life after you killed that demon. I gave you my blood… and you siphoned the demonic energy right out of it like a sponge-" You cut him off.

"-You son of a bitch! I'll fucking kill-" You were about to lunge at him barehanded, but Dean was ahead of you, snaking the Demon Blade from his waist band.

Crowley's face lit with surprise as he saw it. "Wait! Let me bloody finish!"

Dean stopped in his tracks, bringing the blade back down to his waist. "How the hell could she even get addicted after drinking your blood twice? And anyways, she's half Demon Crowley!" Dean's voice echoed off the walls.

Crowley sheepishly looked to you now. "It wasn't just…twice. Whatever the bloody hell they shot you up with, it was still killing you. I snuck in a couple of times when Moose dozed off, and another when lover boy went for bandages. But that's it, that's the truth."

Not a moment breathed silent in the room before you replied. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!…" Your eyes were watering, face red, and chest heaving with rage.

'I'm fucking addicted to demon blood…I'm going to KILL him!' You thought.

Crowley suddenly matched your fury, and yelled back. "You can't die!" You were struck silent by his words, and Dean moved beside you.

Crowley reeled himself in by taking a deep breath. "What I'm trying to say is, you're all we've got. A Prince of Hell like you're Father will cripple this Earth, and you're the only person on it that can stop him. It's cliche', but it's the truth, too." Crowley cringed as he saw Dean raising his blade again.

"And why should we believe you?" Dean asked, twirling the shiny steel in his hands wickedly.

"My blood…you know about that?" You interrupted, without regard for Dean's question that hung in the air.

Crowley's eyes narrowed at you with confusion. "Yes, but how do you know about that?" He asked with intrigue.

You grabbed Dean's arm. "The demons…they were talking right before I blacked out, about my blood being able to lock Asmodeus up."

Crowley nodded slowly with a huff, and Dean looked at you in remembrance of what you'd told him when you woke up days before.

"How do we do it?" You asked, making Dean's eyes widen with you in anger and disbelief.

He grabbed your shoulders, moving in front of you to block Crowley from your view. "Are you gonna skip over the part where he just said he dosed you with his blood?!" Dean's eyes darted back and forth, searching your face.

You looked back at him. "I'm alive, Dean! I'll deal with the blood crap later, this is more important and you know that!"

Dean released you from his hard grasp, and whirled around to Crowley with a deathly glare in his eyes. "You are going to fix her, you son of a bitch." His upper lip curled with intent as he stepped closer to Crowley, who held his palms up at Dean infamously.

"I'd be happy to Squirrel. But first, we've got work to do."


	22. Distractions

Summary: Reader struggles with the withdrawals…but can she control it? *dun dun dunnnn* Buckle the fuck up.

Word Count: 8,502

Author's Note: _Hey hey! So I told you guys that this chapter would be worth the wait…and I feel like it is, but I'll let you guys be the judge of that…! I certainly took my sweet ass time on it, lol. See note at the end!! And as always: Enjoy! ;-)_

 _If you're not 18, turn back now for the love of god!!_

Warnings: (Here we go). Adult language, drinking demon blood, demon blood addiction, withdrawals, SMUT, relapse (sort of), being restrained, bondage, dirty filthy smut, BDSM, safe word (it goes unused), daddy!kink, rough sex, choking, breath play, spanking, jesus christ what have I done, did I say there are triggers in this???

* * *

The next morning, 3:00 am

You were awaken by someone shaking your shoulders violently.

"(Y/n)!" Dean's agitated voice ripped you from your sleepy state, making you bolt upright in panic. It was still dark in your room, and Dean was hovering over you, his hands gripping your shoulders tightly. You could see he was still shirtless and in his boxers from the night before, and you could just barely make out his face in the shadows… he looked worried.

"What?" You asked, shivering when you realized how cold you were.

"You're sweating, you've been shaking for the past hour…" He replied, moving a strand of wet hair from your eyes.

As you wrapped your arms around yourself for warmth, you felt the cold beads of sweat on your skin. You looked down behind you where you were sleeping just moments before, and saw the sheets soaked wet with it, too. Your head was pounding relentlessly, along with the unending rhythm of the ringing in your ears.

"What's wrong with me?" You clutched your head in attempt to ease the pain in it. Dean's eyes shut in desperation, pulling you into his chest as you shook.

"It's the demon blood." He replied, squeezing you tightly, but quickly releasing you. "I need to get Crowley." He started to leave the bed, but you grabbed his arm to stop him.

"No! Don't you dare…" You yelled in a whisper, as it was evident no one else was awake yet.

 _'I don't want that motherfucker's help…' You thought._

"(Y/n) you're having withdrawals! You can't do this cold-turkey, I won't let you." Dean replied, shaking his head and pulling a pair of jeans on quickly. "And by the way, _you're the one who asked me to let that son of a bitch stay to help us."_

You pulled the blanket around you tighter, trembling- but threw it off just as fast, feeling an overwhelming sense of heat course through you.

"Dean, I meant with Asmodeus, not a live-in blood bag! And you were the one who wanted to put that on hold." You stopped to draw in a long breath, feeling the tension rise. "Please. I don't want any more, I can do this..." You pleaded, watching through the darkness as he slipped a t-shirt over his head.

"Absolutely not. I watched Sammy go through it, and it almost killed him. I'm not letting that happen to you too." He replied, reaching for the doorknob to leave.

You swung your legs over the bed and stood with aching muscles, suddenly freezing again. You rushed toward Dean before he could get the door open and grabbed his forearm.

"Dean don't- I'm not Sam, I'm different…just let me try." Your begging had an effect on him, and he looked your state over with painful eyes. Your tank top and shorts were drenched, including your hair; and your face held a deathly paleness as your eyes implored him.

He licked his lips in thought, taking one of your clammy hands in his. "I can't do that with you, alright? I can't lock you up, I can't hear you scream, and I will not watch you fight it on your own." His green eyes shone through the darkness at you, and the agony welling in them held no lies.

You gulped at the thought of having to be locked up. No doubt it took you back to when the demons had you that way for weeks…you didn't want to feel like that again.

"You won't have to lock me up…I'm stronger now, I'm not alone-" He interrupted you with frustration building in his chest.

"I will have to if you don't ween off the juice, (Y/n)." Dean's jaw clenched, telling you he wouldn't say that if it weren't true. "Let me help you."

You sighed with shaky breath, and nodded hesitantly in agreement. "Okay. As little as possible. Got it?" You asked him.

"Got it."

The next thing you knew, Dean was holding a glass to your lips. You'd tried to take it from him, but your trembling hands were of no use to you. You were guzzling down a half a cup of Crowley's blood, greedily. The metallic taste engulfed your mouth, and with instant magic, your body's quivering ceased altogether."Better?" Dean asked, taking the glass from your lips. You nodded, licking the last drops from your lips as if you'd never have it again.

"Yeah…better." You said, keeping the fact that you were dying to lick that glass clean completely to yourself. "I'm gonna hop in the shower…"

Dean nodded in reply, telling you he'd change the sheets while you did.

And as the hot water enveloped you, you knew one thing to be true: You wanted more. You wanted nothing but to run to Crowley, slice him open and drink until there was nothing left. You were beginning to wonder if Dean might have to lock you up no matter what.

* * *

After your shower, you had a peaceful sleep for the rest of the night. Dean had held you so tight that you thought your ribs might break again; and you couldn't help but wonder if it was because he loved you, or if he wanted to be sure you wouldn't slip away for more.

You were enjoying the somewhat normalcy of the morning; eating breakfast at the table, listening to Sam talk about possible cases, and watching Cas's nose crinkle up at the bitterness of the coffee that he drank down anyways.

Dean had pushed a bowl of granola at you, but you refused to eat, telling him you didn't feel like it. He had given you one of his death-stares, so you obliged by taking a bite. With the first spoonful down, you felt starving... With your appetite sparked, you devoured two bowls like it was nothing.

"Damn…you hungry?" Sam laughed, watching as you sat back.

You patted your belly. "I was…" You smiled at him, glancing at Cas who had a laptop in front of him. His face grew with scrutiny and concern.

"What is it Cas?" Dean asked him through mouthfuls of a power bar.

He shook his head with uncertainty, eyes darting from side to side glued to the screen. "I believe there is a vampire nest in Portland." He replied.

You jumped out of your chair and rushed beside him. Sure enough, 6 people had gone missing in the last 2 days; and two had been found with 'animal bites' to the neck, drained of blood.

"Son of a bitch…" You mumbled, taking in the details. Sam and Dean moved behind you, glaring down at the laptop's screen.

"Looks like it Cas…good job." Sam said, patting him on the shoulder roughly.

You looked at Sam, who was closing his laptop up and picking up his cell phone. "When do we leave?" You asked, with excitement pooling in your stomach.

Before Sam could answer you, Dean interjected. "Uh-uh, no way. You're on Demon-Detox, you're not goin' anywhere." He said, waving away the notion.

Sam pursed his lips, and gave his phones screen his attention again; decidedly letting you and Dean hash it out amongst yourselves.

You turned on your heels to glare at him. You knew he was right, you were in no shape to be hunting. But that wasn't going to stop you from protesting. "Dean, we're taking this case-" Before he could answer you though, Sam spoke up.

"-Uh, I actually just text Gary…he's got it covered. And he has backup, so we're good." He put his phone in his pocket, and sat back down.

Dean flashed you a sweet but sarcastic grin, and you couldn't help but roll your eyes. "Fine. But if anything pops up…" You turned your angry stare to Cas, "…we are taking it."

Castiel nodded his head, but you knew he wouldn't tell if he did in fact find a case. He'd give it to Sam, who would pawn it off to other hunters biting at the heel for a good case.

In a huff, you left the room retreating to the library, as you realized your hands trembling again.

* * *

It'd been five hours since your last 'Demon Dose'. You were sitting down in the library, thumbing through useless book on how to kill werewolves. You already knew how to kill mostly everything…'This is bullshit…demon blood shouldn't have this effect on me.' You thought, hanging your head in your hands. They were shaking again, and your heartbeat was raging with fury against your chest.

You jumped in shock at the feeling of a hand on your shoulder.

"You alright?" It was Dean. He'd been slightly distant that morning, but you figured he was just trying to give you some space. He knew you had cabin fever, and that was agitating enough.

"Yeah…just tired." You replied, looking up at him.

He nodded. "Why don't you go lay down for awhile? Me and Sam are gonna be in the garage for a little bit."

You gave him a weak smile as you stood, nodding in reply. "Okay, I think I will." You said, leaning towards his chest for comfort. He placed his hands on your hips, pulling you closer to him.

"Get some rest, princess." He whispered against your ear, placing a warm kiss on your cheek.

 _'God, I hope I will.' You thought._

* * *

Only thirty minutes had passed before you were pacing back and forth in your room. You had laid down for ten of those minutes, but with the thought of what you wanted on your mind, your body was vibrating restlessly.

 _'Son of a fucking bitch!! I shouldn't have taken that blood from Dean last night…' You thought. '…I should have just told him to lock me up. He should have…'_

Your head began the incessant aching throb, eliciting a sharp ringing in your ears. Grasping each side of your head with desperation, you sat on the bed, thinking of what you knew you were about to do.

Beads of sweat ran down your forehead, your pulse racing with anxiety once more.

 _'I need more.'_

You cringed, standing from the bed and exiting the room. You hated the fact that you were about to go to the King of Hell, and ask him for his blood- just a _little, you kept reminding yourself._

You rounded the corner, looking for any signs of Dean, Sam or Cas; there were none, you were in the clear. _'Maybe I should ask Dean to get it for me…' The reasonable side of you was trying to talk yourself down, but the side craving the blood pushed it away._

 _'It makes no difference if I get it, or if Dean does. This is ridiculous.' You shook your head, continuing toward the staircase to the upstairs room that Crowley had made into his disgusting temporary lair._

You stood in front of the door, held your breath, and knocked. Immediately, you heard his scruffy voice from behind the door.

"I'm naked…" He taunted in a sing-song voice, making you grind your teeth in frustration.

"Open the damn door, asshole!" You banged on in with a close fist again, this time seeing the doorknob turn.

He stood in front of you with a smug smile, and very much so fully-clothed. "Mmmm. Hello, love. Here for a booty call?" He asked, giving you a sadistic wink.

 _'He's so gross.' You thought._

"No, Crowley. I need-" He interrupted you before you could finish.

"-My blood? I knew you'd come soon enough." He opened the door wider, ushering you inside with his arm.

You shook your head, stepping back. "I'm not going in your disgusting den of iniquity. Just bleed into something and get it over with."

Crowley chuckled. "My _my, is this how you treat all your drug-dealers?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at you._

Your stomach rolled, doing another flip-flop at the words he used. _'This is different…' You told yourself._

"Please, Crowley." You said quietly, looking at your feet now.

"As much as I enjoy the thought of you drinking from me, I can't help you- not with out your 'parole officer's' say-so." He flashed his pearly whites at you, making you look back up at him once more.

"What the fuck do you mean?!" You yelled.

Crowley shrugged one shoulder. "I mean, I've been clearly instructed by Squirrel not to allow you to partake of my blood…without his consent."

Your head was pounding, and the fury inside of you built to no end. "So you mean I need a _fucking hall pass from Dean to get your blood? That's what you're saying?"_

"Indeed it is." Crowley stated matter-of-factly, with disappointment crossing his face.

 _'Dean will know it's too soon… and then he'll start to worry more...'_

You pouted your lips, attempting to implore the masculinity in Crowley. "Please, just this once. I won't tell him."

You moved toward him a couple of steps, standing in the doorway inches from his face now. He grunted low in discomfort, but ultimately looked away, shaking his head 'no'.

"I can't. You've got to be in your right mind when we go after Asmod- _Bloody hell!!" Crowley screamed in pain when you withdrew the small knife from your waist band; slitting his wrist open with one swift motion._

You shoved him as hard as you could into the wall, using every bit of power you had to keep him there. You wrestled his arm from his side where his blood flowed freely, dripping to the floor.

You didn't hesitate to haul his wrist to your lips, wrapping your mouth around his wound to drink in the liquid gold.

"Come put a leash on your _mutt, Squirrel!" Crowley yelled as loud as he could, but you didn't care; all that mattered was his blood._

You were practically inhaling it, mouthful after mouthful; you gripped his forearm with such need that your hands were turning white. Your body was buzzing, alive and somewhat satisfied…but you needed more. As the flow of blood began to slow, you resorted to using your teeth; opening the cut wider with a bite.

"(Y/n) that's _enough!!" Crowley struggled to move from the wall away from your death-grip; but with his blood coursing through your veins, you were that much more powerful. He was useless._

And it felt like mere seconds of drinking to you, but little did you know, it was two minutes; which was a lifetime if you were guzzling demon blood down the entire time.

You heard what Crowley said, but again…you didn't care. You weren't letting go… _fuck it._

"(Y/n)! I said that's enough!" Crowley grunted again trying to move when instead, you were ripped off of him by a furious Dean Winchester.

Deans hands had grabbed your waist from behind, heaving you away from Crowley with a single pull.

"Dean, what the fuck!" You cried out, wriggling in his grasp for him to let you go. "I'm good Dean! Let me _go!" You screamed furiously at him, as he gave no effort to hold you tight against him with his arms around your mid-section._

"(Y/n) calm down!" He growled out, beginning to wheel you around toward the stairs.

Your head was spinning, the rush of that much demon blood was almost too much.

 _'I need out of here…jesus christ, I need out!' Your thoughts were running wild, and your body was pumped full of pure adrenaline._

You were nearing the landing on the stairs, Dean ushering you downward step-by-step silently.

"She needs to be locked up, Dean!" Crowley called from above as Dean pushed you along to the last step.

"Shut the hell up!" Dean yelled back over his shoulder, his grip on you loosening momentarily; and you took the window of opportunity.

Throwing your hips back into him, you shoved your hands down simultaneously, bringing a loud grunt from him behind you. His arms released you, and you ran.

"Son of a _bitch!!" He yelled behind you, and you sprinted to nowhere in particular; as your thoughts unraveled, you realized you should've just made a turn-around for the front door to the bunker…because now, you were never getting out. But you knew you weren't thinking straight with that much demon blood in your system._

Racing down the corridor, you decided to make a break for the garage. _'Maybe there are keys in Sam's truck…' You thought, without reason._

Dean's heavy boots pounded the hard floor behind you, getting closer. He was calling out to you to stop, but you couldn't…your feet wouldn't allow it. You'd done too much damage…

Finally at the door to the garage, you turned the doorknob with shaking hands as fast as you could. Knowing Dean was closing in, you didn't bother looking in front of you before you took off again; and you should have.

You ran smack into Castiel's chest, who had you in a head lock before you knew what hit you.

"(Y/n), calm down! _Stop!" Cas tried to calm you, and his hold was too strong for you to break on your own._

"Let go Cas! I don't wanna hurt you!" You warned, pulling with all your might on his arm.

Cas tightened his hold on you as Dean rushed in out of breath.

"Cas! Don't hurt her!" He yelled, darting over to you.

 _'I'm getting out of here one way or the other…' Your mind wasn't right, you wanted out; you wanted to get away from Crowley and drink him dry at the same time…nothing made sense to you right now._

"I won't hurt her!" Cas grunted out, attempting to hold you still. "Say it Dean! Before she kills us both!" Dean ignored Cas's pleas, and grabbed your face with both hands.

He was yelling at you, trying to get you to calm down…but all you could do was struggle and kick at the Angel holding you.

 _'Have it your way, guys…'_

In a last resort, you closed your eyes; focusing all you had inside of you to push the Angel away. You could feel the energy, _the pull, and you were ready to blast him off of you with a single thought, when-_

" _Furorem!" Dean's voice bellowed throughout the room, and your eyes flew open, glaring at him with hatred. All the energy, all the power you felt, was gone. The millions of molecules that had been poised perfectly at your fingertips, with enough power to overwhelm them both, was lost. Stolen, just like that._

Dean's face fell, panting for breath as he watched your face grow angrier.

Hot tears spilled down your cheeks, and Cas felt the tension rising, tightening his grip on you.

"Dean?!" Sam's voice rang out as he ran in frantically. He took the sight before him in with disbelief. "What the hell happened?!" He looked at you, then Cas, and finally Dean.

"She drank too much…" Cas groaned out in reply, earning an elbow to the ribs from you.

 _'I'm gonna die down here…' You thought._

"Fuck you all! Let me _go!" You cried, thrusting your head backwards into Cas's face with a crack.The head-butt caused him to loosen his arms just enough for you to duck out of them._

Dean wasted no time though, and his arms were lifting your feet from the ground in a second flat.

"Dammit Dean put me _down!" You screamed, clawing his arms and kicking his shins with your heels._

"You're not thinkin' straight, (Y/n)!" Dean grunted out, gripping you with all his might and struggling toward the door. "Sam! Cuffs, _now! I can't hold her!"Sam left the room so fast, it was as if he were on a mission from the man upstairs.But at those words, your heart nearly stopped; and your mind was playing tricks on you._

 _'They're gonna fucking kill me.'_

You began flailing back and forth again as Dean moved you forward out of the garage. He finally had hold of both your hands, holding them tightly against your stomach as he struggled to hold your feet above the ground.

"Baby please! Calm the hell down!" Dean was trying to reason with you again…but there was no reasoning with someone who couldn't fathom it in that moment.

Using your foot, you landed a powerful kick to his shin, causing him to stumble. You were free for a second and a half, before he had you pinned face first against the wall in the hallway. His closeness sparked something in you, something like regret, but once again…you didn't care.

"Dean! Got 'em." Sam's footsteps were echoing as he ran down the hallway, and the jingling of the cuffs were edging closer.

"No no _no! Please, not like this! I'll stop!" You knew you were lying as you begged them not to put the cuffs on you…you wouldn't stop. You'd leave, or drain Crowley to the last drop. But even through the lies that escaped your mouth, the hot tears flooding your face were real; you were scared to death. It was taking you right back to the cellar, right back to the near-month of hell…_

"Dean don't _do this!" You sobbed out against the cold wall, hearing Dean fumbling with the cuffs to open them._

"I can't do it, Sam…" His voice shook, and he handed them over to his brother, who slapped them on your wrists- no questions asked.

 _'I'm going to die down here…'_

* * *

You'd blacked out after you felt the cuffs tighten and lock around your wrists. Maybe it was fear, adrenaline, or both; but what you felt now as you came to…was remorse.

Opening your eyes, you saw where you were, and a knot formed in your stomach.

You were right back in the hot seat, in the dungeon. Surrounded by a myriad of torturous chains and blades, and…Dean. He was there in front of you.

"(Y/n)?" He cautiously approached you, angst wretching his features.

The memories of what felt like a dream flooded back to you. You said terrible, awful things to them; you were going to hurt Cas, and you drank too much blood. It felt like having a terrible night of drinking, and waking up with a hangover and embarrassing memories.

"I'm sorry…" You croaked out, not wanting to look at the man who surely wouldn't love you after this.

Dean crouched down to his knees in front of you. "It's okay, it's okay- I just wanna get you better, princess." His hand on your knee made you flinch, and you caught his eyes- they were swollen and red, and held much more pain than you'd liked to see.

You nodded in reply, for fear of all the new tears begging to be released.

"What do you need, (Y/n)?" He asked you, completely unsure of himself.

"I-I don't wanna be in here." You whimpered out, looking around at everything that threatened you again.

Dean nodded in understanding. He was arguing with the thoughts in his head, the decision whether or not to let you out of the chair. "Okay…lemme get something' set up, alright? I'll only be gone a minute."

You didn't say anything back, for fear he'd change his mind.

* * *

You never thought you'd be happier to be back in that god damned bed again. You were tied to it nonetheless, but at least it wasn't the dungeon.

Two ropes held each of your arms to the head board behind you, loose enough to allow you to sit up; and two held each of your ankles to the bottom bed-posts. You'd never seen a knot you couldn't free yourself from, but as fate would have it, Dean Winchester was a creative son of a bitch.

You had heard Sam outside the door offering Dean to do it himself, but he refused. He had said something like it should be him doing it, not Sam.

 _'I can't believe I did all those things…they must all hate me.' You thought, staring at the TV Dean had turned on for you before he went to get you more water.'I guarantee they're going to want me to leave after that stunt. They don't need a blood junkie to look after…who the hell knows how long this will take?'_

The sound of the door knob turning interrupted your train of thought.

"(Y/n)?" The door cracked open and lingered there.

"Yeah?" You asked, knowing it was Castiel behind it.

He opened it, stepping through and stopped at your bedside with sorrowful eyes.

"How are you feeling?" He asked you, eyeing the bruises that littered your arms from the struggle.

You bit your lip, regret washing over you. "I'm fine. I'm just…sorry. Really, really sorry." You kept your gaze glued to the lamp beside you with sudden interest, not wanting to look at him.

"You keep apologizing for things that you have no control over…it's exhausting." Cas's mouth formed in a slow smirk, his words causing you to look up at him. You couldn't help but grin a little at his attempt at sarcastic comfort.

"Thanks Cas…" You said softly. He didn't reply though.

Instead, he sat next to you on the bed and placed a hand on your cheek, just staring at you; and before your confusion could be voiced, he placed a soft kiss on the corner of your mouth. It was evident he was struggling not to move to your lips as he lingered there, and he pulled away before he could do any damage.

 _'I almost forgot…' You thought, once again being reminded of the Angel's feelings for you; and you were struck mute and dumb, unable to speak.Your feelings for Cas were…complicated, to say the least. He was so caring, loving, and kind; and then there was that part of him that was all business, do-what-I-say, domineering and just plain sexy._

You'd thought to yourself before that if you'd met him first, he might have been the man you shared a bed with now. And you felt guilty for even thinking of that- Dean was your soulmate - you'd have it no other way. But everyone has their secrets, and that was yours. You knew you loved Cas…just not the way he loved you.

"I'll be back later, please get some rest." Cas told you, before smiling once more and leaving the room.

You gave him a half-hearted smile back, as Dean walked in presenting a glass of ice water. It was no secret you needed it, too.

"Thanks, Cas."

* * *

"So, Crowley might actually be of real help this time…" Dean was sitting next to you on the edge of the bed, trying to draw your attention away from everything going on. "…he said Rowena might have something to help you."

Your interest piqued, and you raised your eyebrows. "With this? Really?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah, he just left before I came back in. I hope he comes back with good news…" His voice trailed off, and he turned his eyes to yours. He'd noticed your jaw clenching on and off for the past twenty minutes, and knew you were waging a battle inside.

"Sweetheart, what can I do? I _hate this…" Dean't gaze shifted from you to the ropes on your wrists._

You wanted to ask him to untie you, but you wouldn't dare do that to him. That would be a mistake on his part, because you weren't so sure if you could control yourself. And knowing Crowley wasn't in the bunker anymore made it that much harder…he wouldn't be there if things got worse.

A deep thud resided in your head again, taking you only a moment to realize you were hearing your heart beat. Dean's question still hung in the air, but there wasn't a thing he could do for you; you were sure he and Sam were going to kick you out.

"(Y/n), baby talk to me." He shifted his position, putting a hand on your thigh to recapture your attention.

The warmth of his hand there sent mixed signals surging through you. It was a sudden and desperate feeling of craving _something - a high, adrenaline - hell, even good hot sex… anything but the emptiness you felt right now._

"I-I need you to distract me, please." You leaned your head back against the headboard bringing your hands down, but being abruptly reminded by the ropes that you couldn't.

"Oh-okay…" Dean licked his lips, eyes darting around the room like he was about to play a game of 'I Spy'. "Ummm…you know I was thinking, when this is over we deserve a good case. We can look for one together, deal?"

You chuckled lowly at the realization that hunting monsters was easier than what you were going through right now.

You nodded in reply, squeezing your eyes shut and concentrating on the feeling of his hand caressing your outer thigh.

"And I figured we could get our own room this time…don't have to worry about Sammy interrupting…" He laughed boyishly for a moment, but reeled himself in quickly."Oh, so there's this new series on Netflix-"

"You're _terrible at distractions, Dean." You interrupted him, sitting up as straight as the ropes would allow to look at him. Dean's expression held mild offense, as he nodded with a sideways smirk._

"Yeah, I'm no good at this…" He paused for a moment, noticing your breath quickening somewhat as you bit your lip. "…How do you feel? What do you need, (Y/n)?"

You closed your eyes tightly and shook your head. "I-I just feel…bad. About all of this- like it's my fault, even though it's not…" You sighed, knowing what was going to fall from your lips next. "… I'm pretty sure you and Sam _hate me.… and my head hurts! I'm horny as fuck, I'm tired, but too wound up to sleep…" You wanted to punch yourself in the face at those last words… you really hadn't meant to say them out loud._

Deans face grew cross, but softened when he saw you were on the verge of tears.

"Look at me- we don't hate you. And you're right, this isn't your fault..." Dean scooted himself up closer to you, face to face and hand on your hip. It only made your need for him grow deeper; despite not being able to understand how you could be turned on at a time like this.

"… trust me, you _will get through this. I'm not goin' anywhere, alright?" He nudged your hip with his thumb, gaining your eyes' attention._

"Okay." Your spirits lifted tenfold, knowing he was still with you…that he didn't hate you after all.

Dean ran his tongue over his teeth, his demeanor changing slightly. His expression lifted from serious to playful when he raised his eyebrows at you. "Wait - did you say you're _horny?"_

You literally laughed out loud. It was the first time you'd laughed all day…and it felt good. For just those few seconds, you didn't feel the throbbing in your ears, or your pulse racing with dread.

"Yeah…I guess I did." You smirked downwards, a little embarrassed at your forwardness.

Dean slid his hand downward on your hip and leaned forward to kiss you. He was like a cure to you…his lips were soft and gentle on yours, but the urgency hiding behind them was evident.

As your kiss grew deeper, all you wanted to do was wrap your arms around him; but even as you tried, the ropes held no sympathy. His free hand traveled to meet your face, cupping it gently; and even though his hands were timid with you, his tongue was winning the battle against yours.

A soft moan escaped you when his hand on your face moved just above the waistline of your shorts. His fingers were tightening on your skin like he was trying to stop himself from moving them somewhere else.

Heat was pooling between your legs, building with every pass of his tongue over yours. Out of instinct you wanted to move them together for friction, contact of some kind; but again, the ropes didn't care about what you needed.

You pulled your head back to break the kiss, and he looked at you with confusion. "Dean, _please do something…" You pleaded quietly, knowing that was so wrong of you to ask him._

Dean's eyes darkened. "Sweeheart, as much as I've thought about tying you down, makin' you scream… fuckin' you to pieces until you beg me to stop…" His pupils dilated as he felt you writhe at his words, but he shook his lust away half-heartedly. "…It'd be wrong to right now."

You exhaled through your nose loudly, leaning your head back with frustration. " _Jesus Dean! You can't say shit like that and tell me no…" You whined, shifting back slightly with dire need for contact._

Dean swallowed hard, unintentionally sliding his right hand down further down your hip.

"(Y/n) you have no idea how fucking turned on I am that you want me to do that…" His demeanor broke briefly, diving down to place a kiss on your neck like he was an auto-pilot, and couldn't be stopped."…but if and when we do something like _this…" He tugged on the rope holding your left wrist, "…I want you to enjoy it."_

You sighed again, meeting his gaze. "I will Dean…Please, I'm so fucking wet right now, you have no _idea what you're doing to me!"_

"(Y/n)…" Dean's jaw clenched, shooting you a warning glance. "…It wouldn't be right-"

"Then untie me! And _then you can fuck me!" You were growing impatient, along with the need rising in your core._

Dean paused and gazed at you sadly, wondering if he should, but shook his head 'no' silently. "I can't sweetheart, you know that-"

You interrupted him angrily before he could finish. "- I'm tied to this bed _begging for you to screw me! You said you wanted to help- so grow some balls and fuck me, Winchester!" Dean's eyes shot back to you, and you held your breath._

He looked _pissed._

He ground his teeth and stood from the bed in silence.

 _'Ohhh fuck. He is really, really mad.' You thought, over the pounding in your head._

Distress seeped through you as he just stood there, staring at you with fury. But the unexpected reared it's pretty face when he shrugged off his flannel angrily.

You gulped, your mouth going dry instantly. His piercing eyes weren't leaving yours, not even to blink. You watched as he threw his flannel to the floor like it did something wrong; and his hands fell to his belt with calculated movements.

Dean yanked it off with a loud ' _snap', causing you to flinch as your insides did back-flips. He tossed the belt to the floor to join his flannel with scrutiny, and stalked back toward the bed with an unwavering gaze._

With complete silence, he took your bound wrist in one hand and slid it down to the bottom of the headboard, doing the same with your other arm.

He paused, fishing in his pocket for something. You opened your mouth to speak when he found what he was looking for, flicking it open. Your eyes were glued to the knife he held in his hand as he brought it to your waistline slowly. The sharp tip of it grazed your hipbone, making you shudder at the contact; but with a single flick of his wrist, your shorts had been sliced down to the bottom hem, leaving you completely unscathed.

Before you could even look back up at Dean, he was at the foot of the bed holding your ankles. He yanked you down in one swift motion so that you were flat on your back, with the rope on your wrists pulled tight with no leeway. Before he moved again, he rid himself of his shirt, and unbuckled his jeans, pushing them down and kicking them off with ease.

Your pulse quickened, and you started to wonder if you should've pushed him so hard to do this…but you wanted him too much to turn back now.

You almost gasped for breath when he climbed over you, resting on his knees between your legs. He looked down at each of them, and apparently was dissatisfied with the leverage. He twisted around to your ankles one at a time, tightening his knots silently so that your legs were held further apart.

Running his hands up your thighs, he stopped just before he reached your center, making you toss your head back with disappointment.

"Dean…" You whined, needing to feel him more than anything. But instead of answering, he shushed you, tugging your torn shorts down your hips.

Your stomach did another back-flip when you remembered something. With all that was on your mind earlier when you'd changed, you didn't even bother to put on underwear.

"Jesus _christ (Y/n)..." Dean's mouth fell open with lust as his eyes fell on your dripping wet sex, and something rumbled inside him like a growl._

He crawled on top of you from his knees, and found your mouth with his again eagerly. And wasting no time whatsoever, his finger began sliding up and down your wet folds, teasing you.

Dean's touch made you cry out with a full-on moan into his mouth, only pushing him over the edge further. He slid two fingers into you at once, and your hips bucked up to meet them.

"You are drenched for me sweetheart…" He mumbled against your lips, curling his fingers at an agonizing pace into your g-spot.Your mouth fell open at the feeling, and Dean took the opportunity to bury himself in the crook of your neck, placing kiss after urgent kiss under your jawline.

"What do you want me to do you, princess?" He asked lowly between kisses with a gravelly voice.

You whined a bit before you could answer, trying to gather your thoughts through the haze. "I want you to fuck me, Dean…" You whispered back, panting as his fingers kept to their pace inside you.

"Say please." His voice was demanding now, his teeth grazing your earlobe as he spoke, sending shockwaves through you.

"Please…" You replied instantly, melting beneath his fingers as they slowed in attempt to build you back up. You weren't above asking nicely…this was way too fucking hot to stop now.

"Please what?" Dean asked, withdrawing his fingers from you before you could come, leaving you wrecked beneath him.

A near-cry escaped you at the loss, feeling both his hands move to your hips firmly, holding you tight against the mattress.

What did he want you say? You fumbled for what to say, until it hit you. _Fuck yes._

"Please Daddy!" You moaned out loud, and at the word Dean's teeth sank into your shoulder, surely leaving a mark for later. You didn't even feel him take his boxers off, feeling his free erection pressing at your needy entrance.

Dean pulled back to look at you with dark and demanding eyes. "Say 'pie' if you want me to stop."

Your eyes lingered on each other's, and you forgot how to breathe for a moment. Dean was calm, but his chest rose and fell heavily on top of you, telling you he was right on the edge with you.

"(Y/n), this is important- what's the word?" He asked again seriously this time.

"We _really need a word?" You breathed out heavily, almost pouting over having to pause the pleasure._

"'We' don't need a word- you do. I'm not gonna ask permission before I do somethin', sweetheart."

Your insides recoiled again, with both fear and arousal. "Have you done this before?" You asked, sincerely out of curiosity.

"No. That's why you need a word. So what is it?" He asked you, growing needy as he stilled himself over you, aligned at your core.

"Pie." You nodded slightly with the word, reassuring him you'd remember it.

Dean winked at you, sending shivers down your spine as his lips collided with yours again. You felt the tip of him easing past your slick and wanton folds, and with one motion he plunged himself deep into you, burying himself to the hilt.

You cried out, trying with all your might to wrap your arms and legs around him for measure, but you couldn't. Damn, this was interesting.

The fullness of him inside you almost made you come instantly. His fingertips held your hips so hard, you thought they might become part of you.Dean pulled out of you almost all the way, listening to your cries and watching your face contort with pleasure. He gripped harder, not even knowing that was possible, and slammed into you again; making you gasp to catch the breath he'd just knocked out of you.

His left hand made it's way to your breast, massaging it roughly and teasing at your nipple with his calloused fingertips. Your chest heaved under his hand. You'd never been too excited about your breasts, but the way he was worshipping them violently only aided in the mania.

The thrusts Dean delivered became more threatening and deliberate; and the pleasant burn erupting from your walls as they stretched around his width brought you to life completely.

As if he knew you needed it, his lips found yours again with rage. His tongue wasted no time to delve through your parted mouth; exploring it as his hand entangled itself behind your head. His movements inside you slowed, but his grip on the handful of your hair tightened. He pulled, jerking your head back with his hand to move his mouth's assault to your exposed neckline.

 _'Can't believe we haven't done this yet…' Your thoughts ran free even among the overwhelming sensations that flooded you, with nowhere to take them._

You cried out with outrageous protest when you felt Dean withdraw himself from you. His eyes met yours, and the insanity inside them made your muscles clench with desire.

He didn't bother to pause before he slid down your body, the sweat dripping from you both uniting in ecstasy. He let his lips and tongue graze your skin the entire way down with greed, until you felt his warm breath over your sex.

"Dean…" You panted, overcome with emotion and want.

His hands grabbed your thighs roughly, snapping you to attention.

"What?" He barked loudly back.

Your breath hitched in your throat, and you swallowed hard. "Daddy…" You let your head fall back to the mattress, knowing he'd surely be your undoing.

"That's right…" He whispered into your swollen clit, sucking it into his mouth cruelly and without regard to it's sensitivity.

A fervid scream came from you as he sucked hard, driving two fingers inside of you at the same time. Your legs and arms were pulling at the ropes in attempt to move, to ease the stimulation…but it was no use.

Dean released you from his mouth, just as you were nearing a somewhat release of all the pressure he'd built in you.

You cried out with a hoarse voice, your legs shaking at the wasted opportunity. Dean was loving it, and if you hadn't known him you wouldn't be able to tell past the sovereign expression he wore.

You squeezed your eyes shut to gain some of your ground back, when you felt Dean's hands behind your hips. Your eyes flew open, and you watched him dig his fingers into your ass cheeks, lifting and scooting you up the bed toward the headboard.

He twisted around, not saying a word as he untied both your ankles, and switching the ropes to their respective opposite- and with a foot or so of more length.

You wanted to ask what he was doing, but you could only spectate. Dean's attention then turned to your wrists, where he did the exact same; untying them, and switching the ropes from one wrist to the other. Accept on your arms, he chose to tighten them all the way to the headboard instead of loosening them.

Your arms were slightly criss-crossed behind you, with the backs of your hands touching.

"What's the word?" Dean paused, noticing your utter silence and breathlessness.

 _'Aww. He wants to know I'm okay…' You thought, knowing you should answer him so he didn't stop what he was doing._

"Pie." Your voice was raspy, dry and sore from the screaming and moans.

He nodded, then winked solemnly at you letting you know he'd take damn good care of you.

Dean retreated between your legs again. And without warning, he latched onto your hips to roll you to your stomach. It was such an unyielding motion that you barely had time to register that you weren't facing him anymore.

 _'Fuck meee this is so damn good.' You thought._

Grabbing the front of your hips, he pushed you toward the headboard until your hands and arms were the only thing keeping your body from being pressed into it.

Your heart raced, feeling him pull your ass toward his length. The tip of him played at your sopping entrance, but only for a second before he was slamming into you hard.

An orgasmic scream left your lips, and both of your moaning gasps for air filled the room along with the slapping of his skin against yours.

He drove into you, hitting your sweet spot so hard that it was almost too much to come. His left hand held your hip tightly, and his right was meandering from breast to breast eagerly.

You felt Dean's hot breath above your ear, his warm sweat trickling down your back along with yours. His hand stilled in the center of your chest.

"Say my name." He slowed his thrusts, awaiting your reply.

"Dean-"

 _SMACK._

His left hand connected with your ass cheek, making you yelp at the sting in surprise. A smirk tugged at the corners of your lips as you relished in how much you fucking loved that.

"Say my name!" His voice commanded, making you flinch at the level of it above your head.

"Daddy!!"

 _SMACK._

You cried out with both pleasure and confusion, arching your back to look at him.

Instead, his right hand darted from your chest to your head and fisted a handful of your hair, pulling you back into him so you were cheek to cheek.

"That was just because I know you like it." He snarled into your ear, making you full-on moan his name with closed eyes.

He hauled his hand away from your head, returning it to your chest, but this time with his palm flat over your collarbone. He drove into you again with no mercy, and with a newly motivated pace set to kill.

Dean's left arm snaked around your stomach over your hip bones as a bar to keep you where you were. He pushed against your chest so your back was arched in the middle, bringing your shoulders against him.

"What's the word?" He whispered into your ear, and you knew he was about to cross a line.

"Pie." You panted out. You didn't care - whatever the hell he was about to do, you trusted him with your life…and that was enough.

With that, he drove into you further, reaching a new level inside of you that was going to unravel you at any second. You tried moving your legs together to slow the pace, but his thighs between them edged them further apart instead. Your arms were burning just to keep your body from being slammed and fucked right into the headboard; and it felt like _fucking bliss._

You were so immersed in creeping over the edge of release that you almost didn't notice his large hand closing around your throat. You whimpered out of surprise and flinched, tugging on the ropes on your wrists.

"Trust me…" He whispered into your ear, his teeth nipping at your earlobe. You exhaled as smoothly as your could over the strength of his thrusts, and nodded quickly.

Dean made a maddening growling sound that made your legs go weak; and his hand constricted around your neck, luring your head back parallel to his.

"Deep breath, princess." His gravelly voice demanded, and you obeyed by inhaling slowly as you felt his grip around your neck tighten.

And if it were even possible, he drove harder and faster into you; and everything fell together.

The black dots that speckled your vision didn't even sway the bliss that enveloped you. He squeezed harder, pounding into your soaking wet pussy that clenched around him for dear life.

Your trust in him reached a new level when even your panic subsided when it should've rose. His death grip on your throat tightened once more, and your arms grew weaker, making it hard to hold your self away from the headboard.

 _'Ohh…my…godddd…'_

"Come for me!" Dean yelled next to your head with a strained voice, altogether letting go of your neck.

The air flooded into your lungs, and a switch flipped inside of you that made you come down instantaneously around him. Your mouth fell open in a silent scream without the air to give it life; and you heard Dean's groans and curses as his slick warmth filled you deep inside.

Your lungs allowed your cries and screams to escape at last, with burning sides and a raw throat. You'd _never felt this way. Ever. It had Demon blood beat by miles._

Your cries fell softer as your lungs couldn't accommodate them any more; and Dean's thrusts were growing shallower as your juices mixed with one another's, coating his cock evenly each time he withdrew.

"Dee-aaan…" Your voice broke as tears left the corners of your eyes, not with sadness…but with the overflow of emotions and adrenaline.

He withdrew from you all the way, placing several soft kisses on your shoulders and neck before moving from behind you.

Without thinking, he untied your wrists hastily. You almost didn't even remember that he shouldn't - until you fell to the mattress in exhaustion.

"You shouldn't…" You panted out. He licked his lips, wiping the sweat from his brow as he climbed on the bed next to you to collapse.

"I've got you." He said, pulling you back into his chest. His arms enveloped your wrecked form, kissing every inch of you he could reach from behind.

"I love you." You breathed out, turning your head to look him in the eyes.

"I love you, sweetheart." He kissed your swollen red lips softly. "You alright?" He asked you, unease etching his features.

' _Ohh I'm more than alright…' You thought to yourself._

"I'm great… holy _hell. I can't even explain." You laughed tiredly._

Dean chuckled into your hair, kissing your head. "My thoughts exactly, princess."

* * *

Author's Note: _*Crickets chirping* I reaaaallllyyyy hope you guys enjoyed this- seriously! The next chapter is going to be pretty lengthy, so pretty pretty please forgive me, it may take a few days! I seriously would love comments or feedback of any kind!! Thank you thank you thank you!!! :-)_


	23. Team Free Will

**Two weeks.**

The withdrawals from the demon blood were relentless.

At the end of the first week, you'd started to wonder if you'd make it through this alive…and if you even wanted to. The hardest part about all of this, was that you didn't want to get better- not yet.

You'd only had a mere taste of what the insidious crimson made you feel; and you wanted it all. It was as if the blood was a secret lover, and you wanted nothing more than to grab it's hand and run away together.

 **But you held on.**

You made the choice to keep breathing, to keep fighting; because _that was your job._ Dean knew it, Sam and Cas did too. And even though Crowley was steering completely clear of you (of his own agenda), he would pass along a 'thumbs up' or a 'keep at it, love' here and there through Dean or Cas. You were sure he didn't bother to ask Sam, because his hate for the King of Hell was bottomless. He hadn't yet proved himself of any worth to him.

But through all the encouragement, love and support… you knew one thing rang true: At the end of the day, this would just be a blip on your radar. This was the leading edge to what was waiting beneath the surface.

Yes- you still had a Prince of Hell to bury alive; you were ready for that. But this… this was the same game, but with a different devil. It's the same round of musical chairs you'd been playing your entire life. Whether you were hunting monsters, accepting yourself as an abomination, or fighting an invisible habit…you knew what this was.

 **It was a war.**

And you knew you'd win it, or die trying.

When the tremors and nausea began to subside, you could see a light at the end of the tunnel. Like you were **almost there.**

The help Dean spoke of Rowena being able to give wasn't a pot of gold, however. Your hopes had been dashed, as she came up empty handed on a spell that would ease your strain. She explained to Sam that it wouldn't work on you; you weren't human enough. However, she was still looking- and that gave you a small shred of faith to hold onto.

'Just a little more time, princess.' Dean would say to you every night, before cuffing your hands to the headboard until morning. He still held you though; as if he knew you'd slip through the cracks and never come back to him if he let you go.

He'd stay with you throughout everyday too. He **had to** , yes, but he wanted to just the same. You would constantly gripe about every old cliche' flick Dean would have on TV, but at least you had something else to complain about for the time being.You nearly tore his head off at one point for trying to get you to drink more water. You'd thrown the bottle in his face, splashing a good amount of it in his eyes, making a mess of the floor. You were instantly sorry, but he called you a brat as it was…and of all things, that was what made you laugh. Dean Winchester standing there soaked in the water he tried to make you drink, pissed off, and calling you a brat. You even felt bad about laughing until Dean joined in, realizing it was the first in days he'd seen you smile.

Your libido was nonexistent. After the first night of that crazy, domineering, intense sex with Dean, it left you with no good-bye note. Dean hadn't mentioned it, and didn't even think twice about it. He didn't offer, ask, or try anything after that. He'd wrap his arms around you, hold your hand, or try to keep you talking. He actually sang to you a few times… and you recalled thinking that his voice was sex on ice. You'd never heard anything like that.

Cas was no stranger, either. At first, he didn't come see you for three days… and you were wondering if he didn't care about you anymore. But that's what withdrawals do. They tear you down, and build you back up on the premise that you still need what you crave; and every wretched idea it caused you to believe would agree.

When the Angel did come to you though, it wasn't with happy or cheerful words of encouragement like you'd expect. He was solemn, sad, and distant. He wasn't entirely sure how to help…but he did try.

He would choose a new book each night- whether it be about ancient mythology, Men of Letters history, or fictional 'who-done-it' classics - he read to you every night, whether you liked it or not. He'd sit on the edge of your bed, sometimes with you cursing at him to go away, and read for an hour straight.Then to top it off, he'd quiz you about what he'd just read to make sure you were listening. This infuriated you at first; you remember the first time he'd read to you and asked you questions about the first passage, and you knew you couldn't answer. You hadn't listened to a damn word he'd said. The incessant pounding in your head made it near impossible, and his persistence was unraveling you.

But as the days went on, you began to appreciate it- hell, you even looked forward to it. You had it figured out by the sixth day that he wasn't reading to you for nothing, and that he wasn't quizzing you to be a pompous asshole. He was trying to get you to really **focus**.Cas wanted you to listen to his voice, hear the words, and remember them- because while you were doing that, you weren't thinking about the demon blood. You weren't paying attention to how much you wanted to run away, or how fucking delicious a drop of Crowley's blood (or any demon's, really) on your tongue would taste.The Angel wasn't stupid.

And then there was Sam. He was there every fucking step of the way. He annoyed you, pissed you off, made you cry, and you even threw things at him, too.

He kept telling you 'I've been there before…right where you are- but **worse**.' He'd give you those puppy dog eyes, and remind you it was one day at a time.

One afternoon, he'd made you some sort of repulsing green, frothy 'cocktail'. Sam himself made a face when he smelled it, but then quickly faked to an enthusiastic nod and tried to convince you to down it. He said it had Kale and some 'things' in it, and you knew what that meant - Sammy was trying his hand at 'healing potions', and he threw some green shit on top of the rest so you wouldn't notice. That didn't end well - and the lamp that 'was no more', along with a nice deep cut on Sam's shoulder, could testify to that.

You hated how calm he was. It was the most unnerving thing you'd ever experienced. Hell, everyone was too calm to you. It felt as if your world was caving in around you, and they were all just waiting for your temper tantrum to end.

It was like you were in some '12-Step Demon Blood Detox' program.

But the truth was, you needed them…and they needed you.

They'd all came together, forming an iron-clad shield around you. Dean was your rock, and the shoulder your head fell on when it came down to the worst. Cas was your 'sensei'', so to speak. Even if his ways to cool you down were agitating, and did just the opposite before they helped at all - it was working… bit by bit. Sam was energizing, in a way. Even though you wanted him to leave you the hell alone half the time, the fact that he was a walking success story made you believe just enough.

"Hey, you sure you're good? We can-" Dean asked, but was interrupted by you.

"Yes Dean! I'm _fine_. I swear." You snapped at him unintentionally, and you closed your eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.

' _You have to **show** him you're fine, dumbass!' _ You scolded yourself.

You looked down at your feet. "Let's just work the case, and get the son of a bitch salted and crispy by midnight, okay?"

Dean was worried, and you could tell - but he smiled forcibly back. "Okay. Your call, sweetheart." Placing a small peck on your cheek, he turned around to shut the trunk of the Impala with a loud bang.

You surveyed the grungy parking lot of the motel you'd finally pulled into. It was nearing sunset, and the crisp breeze playing at your bare shoulders kept reminding you. The air was beginning to small like Autumn, and that was the best damn therapy you'd had yet.

' _Thank god we got a case'._ You thought, turning to follow Dean and Sam with their bags slung over their shoulders. The gravel crunched beneath your boots as you neared the room, feeling the pit in your stomach rise and sink with your emotions.

One moment you'd be fine, and the next…well, you'd been edgy to say the least. That was to be expected - or that's what Sam said, anyway. But you were walking and talking… you even tied your own shoes today, so that was a win.

The side effects of the demon blood were starting to waver and fade away, leaving you tepid and unsure. But you were happy; happy to be nearly over it, with your friends and the man you loved (and hopefully, he still loved you) by your side.

"What's for dinner? I'm starved!" Dean growled out. He tossed both your bags on one of the beds as Sam locked the motel room door.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Dude, c'mon! We just ate-" He held up an open palm at his older brother. "-nevermind. I'm not gonna bother anymore. I'll go get food." He half-slipped his shoes back on his feet before he could even get them off.

Dean winked at him playfully, tossing the keys to Baby through the air for him to catch.

"You hungry, (Y/n)?" Sam asked you cautiously, afraid of your answer. He and Dean were glaring now, watching like concerned parents as you pulled a sweatshirt on over your blue tank top.

"I'm good, thanks." You replied, pretending not to notice their stares of disapproval.

Dean cleared his throat. "She'll have what I'm having." He told Sam sternly, earning a bitch-faced glance from you that barely lasted a second.He wasn't wrong for stepping in…you'd barely been eating anything since the incident with Crowley. Your pale face and the waistband on your jeans couldn't lie, either.

Your gloomy expression struck a chord with Dean, who couldn't stand to see you like this anymore.

His face lit with an idea. "Hey, ya know what? Let's go out." Dean's tongue wet his lips excitedly. "We need it, we all do. We'll shower up, and go to the bar off the highway we passed, sound good?" He held his hands out, gesturing to the both of you for your votes.

Sam nodded his head to the side in thought. "Yeah, if (Y/n)'s up to it…?" His eyes searched yours thoroughly from across the room, judging your every move.

' _I need a fucking beer…this might not be such a bad idea.'_ You thought.

You shifted to one foot before nodding 'yes'. "Yeah, I told you guys- I'm good. Dean's right, we need to get out a bit."

 _'Ughhh do I have to wear something other than this sweatshirt?!'_

Dean clapped his hands together with enthusiasm. "Hell yes! (Y/n), you wanna take the shower first?"

You said 'sure', gathering your bag from the bed and retreating to the bathroom.

That hurt like hell. Dean not making a move to come in the shower with you was like a punch to the kidneys. The reasonable side of you said it was because he didn't want to overwhelm you, or distract you from getting 'better'.But you yourself felt like he wasn't into it anymore. You hadn't exactly been looking like yourself the past couple of weeks. You hadn't put makeup on, because…why? Your hair was probably still greasy since the last time you'd checked, and your grey sweatshirt had become a security blanket you clung to.

It was still you, though. Your thoughts would wander like this day in and day out, because that was how this process worked- anxiety, nervousness, depression… all woven into one pretty fucking gift basket.

The hot water rushed over you, kneading your sore muscles while you stretched them. You could hear Sam and Dean talking beyond the thin shower wall, and you wished to god you could hear what they were saying.

Probably things like 'holy shit, we should not be taking 'Thing 1' into a bar…' or perhaps, 'dude, she's freakin' losing it'.

' _Stop…just stop thinking!'_ You thought, turning the water off with a huff and exiting. As soon as you had, you noted that the boys' tones dropped from very audible, to hushed.

Without regard, you leaned towards the door to listen closer, turning the sink on before doing so.

"…she's doing terrific Dean, really. I mean, you remember what it was like with me…she's got this, man." Sam's voice was low, but was carried with hope.

"I know, I know. I'm just worried about her…still not eating much. She won't talk to me a lot, Sammy. Not about what's goin' on in her head, anyways…" Dean's words trailed off.

' _Is Dean upset with me…?_ ' You thought, your heart racing against the confines of your chest.

"Dean, (Y/n) isn't even sure of what's going through her mind right now. I remember it as hallucinating, panic attacks- it's hard to describe, and definitely notsomething you wanna tell your boyfriend all about-"

"-Well she _needs_ to Sam! How am I supposed to help her-" Dean stopped himself short, and a palpable silence behind the bathroom door fell.

' _Fuck!! They know I'm listening-'_ Your rapid thoughts were cut short by the jiggling of the doorknob.

"(Y/n)? Sweetheart, you okay in there?" Dean knocked loudly in a panic, trying the doorknob again.

Forcing yourself to move, you unlocked it quickly- before this door got broken down, too.

Dean wasted no time letting himself in shutting and locking the door behind him. His concerned eyes falling your towel-wrapped form, water droplets still rolling down your shoulders.

Your right hand immediately began fidgeting with your left, and you stared at him, just waiting for the boot to drop on your eavesdropping ass.

"(Y/n) talk to me, please." Worry plagued the fine lines on his face, his rough hands landing on your shoulders gently.

"I-I'm fine, Dean…" You'd planned on giving him the 'I'm good, I got this, leave it alone' speech; but instead, you crumpled like a piece of paper to the floor.

It was too fucking much. The damn was cracked and faulty already, and the idea of Dean not wanting you, or being upset with you completely broke it.

Tears were flowing like they never had, as if they'd been held prisoners forever and had finally been set free.It felt good to cry, surprisingly. Your emotionless state for the past two weeks hadn't necessarily been purposeful, but you were playing along with it- because it made things easier… or, you thought it did.

Dean was on the floor in a heartbeat, gathering the sobbing mess you were into his arms. You clutched his t-shirt until your knuckles were white, burying your face in his chest. The smell of him made your stomach do a back-flip, wondering if he'd still be yours when all this was over.

' _Stop thinking like that!'_ Your mind was in panic-mode…and you weren't sure how to turn it off. You had no idea what you needed.

You'd barely noticed Dean stroking your damp hair, whispering 'I've got you' in your ear once or twice.

"Sweetheart, please say somethin'. Anything." He spoke a bit louder over your sobs, his grip shifting around you to pull you closer.

You tried to reel it in… it was tough to do though. You were choking out unintelligible words, attempting to form a real sentence.

"(Y/n) tell me. Just tell me what you're thinkin'." His hand ran up and down your back.

Finding the courage to pull your face away from his tear-soaked chest, you looked at him. His eyes bore into your very soul, and you wondered how a man like him ever came to be in the first place.

"Tell me truth…" You spoke with a restricted voice, holding back the sobs in the back of your throat. "…do you still want me?"You looked away to the wall, new tears still building and overflowing in your eyes. You were doing your best to stop them, because you wanted an honest answer from him… you didn't want to trap him. What man would tell a crying girl he didn't want her anymore?

" **What** did you say?" Dean's tone hardened, sending a shockwave through you that you hoped he couldn't see or feel.

He sat up straight against the wall, grabbing your face with both hands quickly, forcing your eyes to meet his.

"Is that what you think? That I don't want you anymore?" His green eyes darted back and forth over your face. Instinctively, you tried to pull away so you wouldn't have to look at him…but no such luck.

" **No.** You listen to me (Y/n) (Y/l/n)…" His gaze on you hardened, making you wish you hadn't said anything. "…if you think somethin' like a little demon blood could make me walk away from this, then you don't know me as well as you should by now…"

You opened your mouth to protest, but he stopped you. "No, **I'm talking…** " Dean's hands adjusted on either side of your face, leaving you defenseless and completely sober.

"…this is gonna pass, (Y/n). I don't know what it feels like, and I don't know what that crap has you thinkin'. But I need you to tell me, and I need you to tell me now.I've been tryin' to be patient, to give you your space…" He paused. The flow of tears raining down heavier from your face must have quelled something in him. He took a deep breath through his nose to calm himself, keeping eye contact with you.

"…but I'm outta patience, sweetheart. I'm not gonna watch you fall apart and say 'I tried', and I'm not gonna give you a fuckin' 'safe-zone'. Because **I know you** , and that is the **last** fuckin' thing you need…"

Your heart jumped in your throat at his words. "… So no more babying. It's time for you to spill it."

 _'He killed it. Nailed me to the fuckin' wall, hammer and all.'_ You nodded.

This was what you needed. Everything, all of what he just said- Dean hadn't known you that long, but he had you pegged.

"I'm sorry-" You sobbed out, trying to shake your head away from him, but proved useless again. He pulled your head back up, shaking his back and forth with a stern jaw.

"-No! This isn't your fault (Y/n), and you damn well know that! Talk to me!" Dean's voice rose, pulling you out of the fog. You noted that from beyond the bathroom door, you heard the motel room door close…Sam must've left.

You licked your lips, trying to form a solid thought. "I-I feel broken, Dean! I can't - I can't fucking **think straight!** "

Dean nodded, urging you to go on. "It's like a black cloud's following me. I'll feel like my self for a split second, and it's heaven - but then something pulls me back down a-and... I start thinking all this stupid shit that I know isn't true-"

Dean interrupted, his hands traveling to your shoulders. "-Like me not loving you?"

You winced at hearing those words come from him. "Y-Yes…like that." You cleared your throat, retracing your steps to your previous train of thought. "Y know, I'm supposed to be some 'uber-powerful' person, and a few hits of demon blood has me tapping out? H-How am I supposed to take on Asmodeus?! I-"

"-You **will bury him** (Y/n)! If you couldn't, do you think the King of Hell would be stickin' around wasting his time on you?" Dean asked, his brow distressed with emotion.

You shook your head 'no', hanging it slightly.

"We **will** kick this thing in the ass, and then we're gonna find Asmodeus, so we can kick his ass! Alright?" Dean gripped your shoulders tightly, urging your eyes back to his. You smiled a little and nodded. Hell yeah, that sounded alright.

Dean continued. "You're gonna be fine, (Y/n). Trust me, please. That crap's got you twisted, I know - but you've gotta let me in, sweetheart. It's killin' you, but it's killin' me faster to watch."

You nodded silently, but the knot in your stomach lingered, like it didn't want to let you go.

"(Y/n), we can't do this without you. Are you in or out?" Dean probed further, his eyes narrowing at yours with fresh scrutiny.

Gulping down the dryness in your throat, you replied. "I'm all in."

"Sam, **now!** " Dean's voice bellowed through the humid night air.

You watched the ghostly figure flicker just within your reach before you, furious and ungiving. You hated these cases.

These cases weren't so cut and dry. The souls of the undead that lingered had many motives. They were driven by passion, pain, and love…it almost felt wrong to deny them justice, or revenge- no matter which it happened to be.

But at the end of the day, you protected people. Again and again you told yourself, that was your job.

The flames engulfed the spirits facade almost instantly as Sam dropped the lighter at his brother's words; the soul writhing and fighting the whole way to the other side.

That was another cringe-worthy side effect of hunting- never knowing if the souls you send their way found peace.

Gratefully however, that wasn't your job.

"(Y/n)! You okay?!" Sam called over his shoulder to you, as he collected his breath.

You shook the dread from your body with a shudder. "Yeah, I'm good."

From across the cemetery, you saw Dean nod and wink at you through the twilight.

' _I've still got it…'_ You mused, a smirk playing across your lips.

"So, let's re-bury this poor SOB and go get a beer." You said, loud enough for the boys to hear you.

"Yes ma'am!" Sam's voice sounded; followed by Dean's snort of approval, and the sound of a shovel breaking loose dirt.

The bunker. **Again.**

Your mind reached a numbness as you crossed the threshold, holding onto the rush of working the salt and burn case just hours before.

You didn't want to go back there…not yet. It housed too many unpleasant memories for you, and Crowley was one of them.

Dean stuck to your side as you entered the main room, probably sensing your discomfort in being back so soon.

"Hello, lovelies."

 _'Son of a fucking bitch!'_

One. Just one day you wanted to go unplagued by that bastard. He did this to you; the demon blood, the addiction…but he also saved your life, and that was the only reason why Hell still had their King (or what was left of him).

"Oh thank god, I thought I'd never see you again…" You mumbled, making a point to slam your duffel to the ground in frustration.

Crowley smirked, but not in his usual smug way. It was sad, and almost regretful. He cleared his throat as Sam and Dean glued themselves to either side of you.

"Well love, since you're on the up and up, I thought it was time that 'Team Free Will' was back in session." He chided, glancing down at his pleated black suit.

Sam rolled his eyes, dropping his bag at his feet and shrugging off his tan utility jacket. "I think that's for 'Team Free Will' to decide on, isn't it?"

Crowley scoffed, tossing his head back at the notion. "I think you've forgotten that I saved her life-"

"-Enough, Crowley!" You jumped as you heard Castiel's voice shatter the tension as he entered.

'Angelic as fuck!' You beamed, watching Cas stride to Crowley's side in an instant.

"You saved her because she's the only one who can save **you.** " Cas dared, his face inches from Crowley's now as he glared at him down his nose like the demon scum he was.

Silence.

Crowley didn't dare to recover from Castiel's statement, because he knew it to be true; just as you did.

Dean's arm had snaked around your waist, holding you firmly to him- you would have shrugged him off, because you didn't need to be protected - but in this moment, you needed it.

Taking a deep breath, you spoke. "Okay then, due to popular demand… Team Free Will is back in session. To the…" You gestured to the lit, mapped table before you. "…'not-so-round table', then."

Crowley gave you a pompous, satisfied grin, and the five of you sat down around the table. Dean and Sam took seats on either side of you, and as if he were a guard on duty, Cas sat rigidly next to Crowley.

A thick silence riddled the air for several moments before you decided to break it.

"Okay, **dick.** The floor's yours, take it or leave it." Disdain laced your words, glaring your way across the table at the King of Hell.

"Thank you (Y/n)…" Crowley nodded to you gracefully, as if you'd just handed over the scepter to the kingdom. "So to start, my boys believe Asmodeus to be hiding out in the basement…"

His words trailed off, leaving you and Dean to look at each other in question.

"Excuse you?" Dean asked, his brows furrowing with question.

"You heard me Squirrel. He's in bloody **Hell.** " Crowley answered matter-of-factly, placing his hands on top of the table.

You shifted uncomfortably in your chair. "How the hell are we supposed to kill him then, wise one?!" Your voice rose with your question, growing angry at the thought that the trail on him could go cold at any second.

Crowley cleared his throat again, his eyes darting from Cas to Sam's, then yours as he sighed.

"We _don't_ , love…" Crowley replied, now staring at his thumbs as they fiddled over one another. "…We lock him in it."


	24. Do Not Go Silent

"Are you saying you wanna **close the gates of Hell?!** " Sam erupted next to you, leaning forward on the table with anticipation. He seemed excited, worried, and scared to death all at once.

Dean and Cas's posture stiffened with interest, and you caught the Angel peering at you, judging your reaction. But you had none. Your expression was stoic, but the thrill welling deep inside of you felt like you were catching on fire.

' _Slam the gates of Hell?! Fuck. Yes.'_ You thought, nearly losing track of what was being said between Sam and Crowley now.

"…Moose, there's no other way. We send Dorothy into Oz after the bastard…" Crowley gestured to you, licking his lips as his eyes bore into yours.

 _'Once again…gross.'_ Crowley's attempts to stir you always made you shudder. You knew he'd jump your bones if he had the chance, but when push came to shove…you knew he cared. Albeit to his own gratification (i.e., not dying by the hands of Asmodeus), but it was still there- even though he was a Demon. And that by itself meant something to you.

Dean's breath hitched in his throat at the idea, suddenly speaking up. " **No!** No one's hoppin' down the rabbit hole, Crowley!"

Crowley face contorted with confusion. "Squirrel, usually you'd be nipping at the heel over an opportunity like this-"

But all of a sudden, Dean exploded with pent-up rage, slamming his fist down on the table and making you jump. "- **things have changed!** "

You ran a hand through your loose hair, as the other three of you fell eerily silent at Dean's outburst. You knew what he meant- he had changed, because of you… he had someone else to lose in all of this. So yes, things were different- this wasn't just any case, and people were at stake here… **all of you were**.

"Crowley, can't we close the gates of Hell from the _outside_?" You asked impatiently, leaning forward alongside Sam as Dean rubbed his eyes to regain his composure.

Crowley rolled his eyes at you with a huff. "Weren't you listening, girl?! Yes we can, but it'll take more than I've got topside to do it!" His agitation was unnerving and contagious, and even Cas began squirming in his chair. You guys needed answers, and fast- and a plan wouldn't hurt, either.

"We tried once, and it didn't exactly work out- so how do we do it this time without the Demon Tablet?" Sam piped up, exhausted. His eyes were bloodshot by fatigue, but the intrigue piquing within them couldn't be hidden.

Crowley didn't answer him right away, earning a second question from you.

"What do you need?" You asked calmly, earning a stern look from Dean.

He wasn't a stranger to self-sacrifice, and neither were you…but you knew that was exactly what scared him. You and Dean were two peas in a pod; and dammit, if this meant slamming the gates of Hell once and for all, you'd be begging for martyrdom if it allowed you victory.

Crowley's face fell serious, but ardent. He kept his eager eyes locked on yours as if he were about to hand over nuclear codes.

"We need an army. I have one, but none that would follow me to their utter demise for my throne . They need a cause, and someone who can lead seamlessly…" Crowley's words faded, his eyes widening at the idea blooming in his mind's eye.

 **You.**

You shut your mouth instantly, cursing yourself under your breath for even asking the god damned question.

Sam's hazel eyes narrowed as he whipped his head to glance at you, then back to Crowley.

"You want (Y/n) to lead an army of Demons…to close the gates of Hell?!" He was pointing at you now, mouth gaping open in disbelief as he stared at Crowley.

' _What a way to go out…'_ You thought, shifting your position in your seat to get a better look at Dean's reactions, who was silent beside you.

"Yes Moose, that's what I'm saying." Crowley spoke quietly, returning his gaze to his folded hands on the table.

His demeanor was unsettling to you. A King of Hell, a _Demon_ , was nervous. Scared, more like it. You were certain asking for help was unfamiliar to him; so doling out the chess pieces was definitely not his strong suit.

"And she'll live to tell the tale, right Crowley?" Dean asked, with a strong and stone-like jaw.

Your heart skipped a beat. The King of Hell just handed an army of demons to you on a silver platter, and you hadn't even wondered if you'd live through it.

"Yes Squirrel, that's what the bloody **army of Demons** is for!" Crowley fumed, gritting his teeth.

Dean's jaw clenched again, making his unrest apparent to everyone. Cas stood from his chair then, growing too uncomfortable to stay in his seat.

"So you'll send an army of your demons to their deaths, to close the gates of Hell? What about _you_ , Crowley?" Castiel's attitude changed, as he placed both his hands on the table next to Crowley, bending downward. It looked like he were questioning a suspect, and his 'bad-cop' game had never been so on-point. But this meant something to him- you meant something to him.

"Me? I'll live out the rest of my days in peace and quiet- the job benefits are horrid, as it is…" Crowley replied, clearing his throat.

You bit your lip in thought, just praying that Dean would say something. This had 'we're all going to die' written all over it.

"So what's the plan then, with the army?" Sam asked, his excitement heeding a bit.

Crowley pushed his chair back and stood uncomfortably next to Cas, attempting to distance himself from the Angel who'd like nothing more than to slice his throat where he sat.

"We need a spell, and a witch- good ones, so we all know who that will be…" You nodded in affirmation. Rowena was the only witch (you hadn't killed) you knew of that was powerful enough for that. "…and we go in the back door."

"There's a back door to Hell…?" You asked yourself out loud, really only meaning to think it.

Dean's eyes squeezed shut with inner turmoil. "No! This is gonna get us all **killed**! Absolutely fucking not!" Dean had leapt from his chair, pushing it back angrily.

When he immediately began pacing wildly behind you and Sam, you knew this couldn't be good.

And you were proven right by the look on Castiel's face.

" **Purgatory?!** " Cas bellowed out, almost reaching for Crowley's throat at the same time.

"I'm sorry… _what_? We're going through _Purgatory_ to get into Hell, and then locking the front door behind us on the way out?" Your voice reached the highest pitch it had in awhile, and your eyes widened at the realization.

 _'Ohhh fuck that. Nope city.'_ You thought. You heard about purgatory, and what it did to Cas and Dean. You didn't even want to entertain the idea.

"That's the only way, you _morons!_ " Crowley yelled, clenching his fist as he began to pace as well. He obviously hated the idea, too.

' _Danger, Will Robinson!!'_ Alarms were going off inside of you every which way…this didn't sound right. It was a suicide mission.

"Crowley, there's gotta be another way to-" Sam started, but was cut off harshly by Cas.

"-We're _not doing it,_ so it doesn't matter!" Cas said, glaring down at you before looking at Dean. It seemed he was _telling you_ you weren't going to agree to it, which only egged you on further to take the deal and run.

You joined Dean behind you, standing briskly and shoving your chair forward with insult.

You huffed with frustration, rubbing the temples on either side of your head.

You wanted to agree right along with them- hopping on the negatory bandwagon would've been easier.

But you knew there couldn't be another way in…Crowley was right. And you needed a win. You wanted Asmodeus dead, whether or not he was your true father. Staying in limbo wasn't an option for you; do or die, in or out- wasn't that what Dean preached earlier that day?

That was all it took for you.

"We can do this! And we will." You forced yourself to speak, paying no regard to the voice inside you screaming not to.

Dean almost broke his neck turning to stare daggers at you, but you continued as it was.

"And asshole's coming with me-" You pointed at the King of Hell before you with confidence. "I'll need a guide. **Right, Crowley?** " You asked, crossing your arms over chest and shifting your weight to one foot. A little insurance never hurt anyone, anyways.

You could've sworn Dean wanted to kill you in that moment. Agreeing to do this without talking about it further wasn't wise, but you could always change your mind…right?

"You're right, love. I'll be there." Crowley said, and in that moment his eyes were a mystery to you. They weren't all human, but not all that demonic either. Could it be that he really wanted help?

 _'Holy hell. He just agreed to help me…without a fight. Huh…what a mystery.'_

You noted Dean's exasperated sigh of disapproval beside you, and you knew he was pissed.

"I'll be there too - because we aren't stupid enough to let you go through Purgatory and into Hell alone… **with fucking Crowley!** " Dean cried out, coming to a halt closer to you as he bellowed out his demands; all the while locking his gaze on Crowley.

You rolled your eyes inwardly, hating the fact you secretly loved him playing the hero all the time.

But suddenly, you realized this might not be about what you were going to do- as he just said, it was about Crowley…was he making this about the **demon blood**?

"No, Dean! I'm the only one that absolutely _needs_ to be there- And is this about the Demon blood-" Your argument was insufficient, making Dean throw his hands in the air and interject.

"-No, this isn't about the blood (Y/n)…" Dean's eyes searched yours quickly before continuing. "Douchebag here doesn't know the way to the back door, (Y/n)! **I do.** Did you think of that?!" Dean had subconsciously moved closer and closer to you in his argument, now nearly sizing you up with his chest as he stood before you.

 _'Cocky motherfucker!!'_ You fumed inside, feeling the urgent need to punch something- or someone.

" **Fine!** You can come, no one else-" You spat back at him, attempted to look taller than you were for once. However once again, you were interrupted- and you nearly threw a fucking fit over it.

"-That's unacceptable, (Y/n). I'm coming too." Cas piped up, as he straightened next to Crowley. His blue eyes pierced you as yours begged him not to volunteer. He was always too willing to be the sacrifice…

"I'm coming, too." Sam said sternly. He stood from the table on the other side of you, earning a nod of approval from Dean and Crowley.

You clutched your head in agony with both hands.

 _'This isn't fucking happening!! I'm going to get them all killed…'_ You thought.

" **No!!** No, no and no! I take it back, just me and Crowley are going-"

"-It's all of us, or none of us (Y/n)…take your pick." Cas sounded from across the table. His posture and expression told you he was ready; ready to follow you to the ends of the earth, just because.

Tears welled in your eyes, ready to brim at any second.

 **This was it. They were choosing you.**

Of all people, of all battles…Team Free Will was behind you, all or nothing- and damn right, it felt good. You felt _powerful_ \- the way you were supposed to feel all along. So why did it feel so wrong?

Your lack of response left Crowley looking to you for guidance, to your bewilderment.

You nodded to him slightly, feeling Dean tense through the thick air that engulfed you.

"Crowley, find us a way into Purgatory- we leave in 48 hours."

 _'Jesus Christ…what have I done?'_

After a few nods of agreement from Crowley, Cas, and Sam, you'd stalked out of the main room to you and Dean's bedroom. You needed a minute, just a fucking _breath_ \- this was all too much.

Dean hadn't followed you, though. Last you'd seen, he was heading out the front door of the bunker. Maybe he was going to get a drink, or just to take a breath of fresh air- you weren't sure, but you cared enough to leave him be for the time being.

You shed your sweat shirt, tossing it to the floor and kicking your boots and socks off with it. You couldn't help but note how weak you felt; maybe it was because all that power you'd been gifted had been taken away from Dean when you 'overdosed' on Demon Blood- and rightly so. You'd have done the same damn thing.

You were ripped from your inner struggle when you heard the bedroom door open without a knock. It was Dean… and by the look on his face and rigid muscles, you could tell he was _fucking furious_.

He slammed it shut and locked it behind him wrathfully, as if it'd done him wrong at some point. You tried to form a comprehensive sentence to begin this conversation, but you couldn't. As he turned the lock on the door, your mouth only hung open as you stuttered.

"Dea-" You stammered out his name to calm him. But before you knew what hit you, he'd slammed you into the wall behind you with his hand around your throat.

"What the **hell was that in there?!** " He was pressed against you, and his grip around your throat wasn't easing any. You grasped onto his forearm with both hands, and struggled to get a word out.

His face was writhing with both fury and fear, and he realized just how tight his grip was on you. Loosening it, he released you halfway as his eyes reeled his emotions in- but not enough to let you go.

"Dean, I-" You were still stuttering, white-knuckling his arm with both hands. Hot tears were forming in your eyes from the surprise of him.

"Are you _fucking suicidal_?!" He spat out, his lip quivering a bit at the idea.

Your face fell with shame as it dawned on you just what he was asking- and that he might just be right.

You'd volunteered so readily to go through Purgatory to Hell with the King himself, and no one else; and that made sense to you. You didn't care about yourself… you just wanted to win. God dammit, for fucking once _**you really wanted to win.**. _

You wanted Asmodeus dead, so you could rest easy. You couldn't give a fuck less if you made it out or not.

 _'You can come back from this…'_ You thought.

"No, Dean-" His grip around your throat tightened, as he slammed you back into the wall once more, but with less force- just to gain your attention.

"It sure as hell seems like it, (Y/n)!" He yelled, his green monstrous eyes searching yours frantically for answers- but they held none, and you knew that.

Surprise from his roughness shook you, but just the same as the guilt that spread through you. You realized what you'd really done.

 **You were fine with sacrificing yourself; as long as you were the only doing it.**

You realized just how unfair that was to him.

You wanted to tell him you'd change your mind. You really didn't mean to hurt him- but by agreeing with Crowley to take the plunge, the damage had been done.

You weren't sure how to reassure him… but before you could even respond, his lips were on yours. Needy, hard, and purposeful, he kissed you; and fucking christ…it was manna from Heaven.

Something was awoken in you then. The drive, the passion that fled from you with the withdrawals- it was back. You were angry, furious and passionate- just where you needed to be… and probably just where Dean was at already.

Dean's mouth hungered for yours, not waiting for your approval to delve his tongue over yours. He needed control, and jesus you _needed that._

His right hand remained around your neck with solidity as you felt his left searching out your core. You felt his ministrations on the outside of your jeans, and **god dammit** you were pissed off at how turned on you were. Of all times for your drive to be rushing back to you, it had to be now. When you wanted to tell Dean he was wrong… when you knew he had a right to be angry.

The wetness pooling between your legs couldn't lie though, and your hips involuntarily moved in sync with his hand, pleading for more friction. Your kiss deepened as his tongue explored your mouth urgently.

He wasn't taking his time with you, and you didn't want him to. Control was one thing you didn't have… so fuck it- you wanted to be controlled.

You broke contact briefly to moan out to him, as his hand hit that sensitive spot through your jeans again. "Dean…"

Hearing you say his name, his grip around your throat tightened, only making you want him more. This side of him was intense and scary- **you didn't know he wanted to fuck you or kill you….but jesus christ, was it hot!** You just hoped he knew when to stop...

" **Bed.** " Dean whispered strongly, guiding you in a 180 around to the mattress.

All you saw before you were flashes of clothes flying through the air and to the ground, half of them being your own. You could hear Dean's groans of approval every time an article of your clothing came off, and you didn't dare wonder what sort of sounds you were making yourself.

As if the past several moments were a blur, you were suddenly naked beneath Dean, your mouths capturing each others' with every move. He was different this time, holding himself flush against you with no room for you to maneuver around him; and it was very evident that he wanted it that way.

He wanted you writhing and squirming beneath him, begging for his touch; and you'd like nothing more than to be there.

His right arm snuck underneath you behind your back, holding you at skin-to-skin contact at your center. You could do nothing more than to open yourself to him, and wrap your legs around his hips.

You could feel the slickness coating the insides of your thighs while his erection was resting at your entrance. He didn't give into your want, though. Despite the pre-cum wetting the tip of him, he stilled himself there, just to tease you… just to get you riled up. And you'd realized just then, it was because he wanted you to beg for it.

"Dean, please!!" You cried out, digging your heels into his lower back to pull him in further.

He leaned forward, breaking his kiss away from your jawline and moving to your ear. "Not so fast, princess…" He whispered to you in a gravelly voice. This guy was sex on two legs, and _fuck you_ for ever falling for him.

You were certain you whimpered like a child when you heard his voice in your ear, feeling his hot breath fanning out over your neck…just wondering what was to come.

Like a godsend though, his member pressed past your entrance.

You flinched with excitement and uncertainty…it'd been a couple weeks since he'd been 'down there', and you were worried things would be a bit narrow.

The motion was so slow that you gasped out loud when you finally felt a pressure piercing you. Your legs squeezed around his hips with need as you felt him… it was slow, but demanding and all at once.

And dammit, were you right. The stretch of him entering you was overwhelming, pleasing, and painful.

You were certain you'd made some god-awful painful groan as he settled in you, and you winced. His advance forward ceased altogether when he'd pulled back to see your face.

"You okay?" He panted out, stilling himself inside you completely, afraid to move.

Your eyes shot open as you were brought back to the present by his voice.

Finding each others' gaze for a brief moment, there was regret and love in both of yours'. It rendered you speechless, only able to nod slowly and gulp at the realization of just how much you loved this man.

He pulled back a bit, gauging your reaction carefully as he did. Dean leaned forward to place a kiss on your lips quickly. "I'll take it slow…okay?" He asked, and you nodded in response with a soft moan.

And **fuuuck.**

He took it slow on you…almost too slow. He rocked his hips arduously, dragging himself out but plunging himself back in not a moment too late.

Your fingernails were raking down his back for dear life, your head pressing backward into the pillow in an attempt to gain more of him. You met him thrust for thrust, and you couldn't help but let yourself fall completely open and limp to what he was doing to you.And after what seemed like years of holding onto him, your arms even became too weak to hold onto him around his neck, and they too fell to the pillow beside your head.

 **This was fucking heaven.**

You loved and hated it all at once; being completely vulnerable once again, and not having the power to do anything more than to just let him work you over into a wreck.

Your head still lulled back singing your cries of your pleasure, Dean took the opportunity to suck lightly on your neck, up and down your jugular and to your jawbone.

The muscles in your legs had proven useless some time ago- they now fell open around Dean's hips, with his hands beneath your knees to gain more access.

"Jesus (Y/n)… still so wet for me…" He whispered. He was taking in the sight of him moving in and out of you before his mouth traveled from your neck to your chest, leaving goosebumps in it's wake.

You could feel yourself panting heavily, but only concentrated on the feeling of him inside you; stretching you, leaving you empty, then filling you again with the utmost of satisfaction.

His mouth closed around one of your hardened nipples and began to suck lightly, then more fervently when he heard the sounds you made at the feeling.

This was almost t _oo much_.

"Dean! Please just make me come!" You barely had the words out of your mouth before his lips captured yours once again, but left them all too soon.

You gasped for breath, watching him move above you with his face inches from yours. Your eyes locked on his as he moved forward again slowly, retaining the pace he'd set in the beginning.

"Wanna watch you come for me…"

You moaned and nodded quickly, squeezing your eyes shut as you concentrated.

"No, l _ook at me_." Dean urged, breaking his pace to regain your attention.

Those green orbs had you pegged once again- this happened all too much in your book…he knew you _too damn well._

He rocked forward again, this time harder and deeper than before. You struggled not to break eye contact with him, even as his gaze dared you to do so.

The need and want emanating from you both was palpable, and he was gliding in and out of you with ease as your release drew nearer.

He thrust into you harder and harder the next several times, diving deeper and with more purpose than the one before. You couldn't even move- you were beyond the edge here.

The sounds and moans of approval escaping your mouth echoed off the walls, with his name on your lips signing each one. You didn't think of anyone besides the two of you; and by the way he was growling your name out toward the end, neither did he.

"Baby, I'm about to-" Dean's voice was broken by the sound of your cries as you released, your walls crashing down around his length as he followed suit.

" _ **Deeeean!** "_ You screamed when you felt his warmth fill you to the brim, unable to stop yourself from coming again to the sensation.

His movements went rigid, but stayed deep inside of you as he moved minimally. You were forehead to forehead, watching each other as you felt the other's release in the deepest way fathomable.

Minutes passed by, and the two of you breathed heavily flush against each other. You were trying to gather yourselves before Dean slipped out of you, and dropped beside you on the bed.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, still heaving, lazily draping his arm over you and the sheet now covering you. "And, I love you…you know that right?"

You returned his stare, and smiled weakly. "Don't apologize, dumbass." You chuckled back, happy you could make him smile at that."And I love you, too."

Dean's smile reached his green eyes before it fell back to the grave again. He studied you for a moment, his eyes darting back and forth over yours before he spoke.

"Promise me…" He took your hand in his, and moved to prop himself up one elbow to look down at you. "…promise me that this isn't our last night together."

You narrowed your eyes to prevent the tears forming in them; you knew he was bringing up the whole 'we're all gonna die closing the gates of Hell' mission hurdling toward you both.

So you said the only thing you could.

"I wish I could promise you that." Your meek smile faded as well, locking your gaze with his- just to make sure you had his eyes memorized.

His expression stiffened before he replied. "Me too, princess."

Sorry for the long wait! Let me know what you think!!


	25. Arsenal

Dean was standing in front of you in the library, spending a few more minutes with you alone before Rowena took you all to Purgatory.

"I guess I should say it, huh?" He asked, both his hands on your hips as you pulled away from the embrace you'd just been sharing.

"Yeah…guess so." You replied. You had to admit it…you were ready for him to. You needed that power back.

He nodded, and gave you a quick wink. " **Furorem**." He spoke the word purposefully, as if he were trying to memorize what it was like to say it.

* * *

The six of you had gathered in the dungeon… it made sense to you all to do the spell there.

"Okay, so…what do we do?" You asked nervously, standing before Rowena besides Dean.

She cleared her throat with emotion. "Nothing, my dear- just stay right where you are."

"So, this will take us to Purgatory…" She gestured to the altar in front of her, already burning bright with flames you'd pay money to extinguish then and there.

This was happening too fast.

"…and once we're there, my incantations will do the rest of the legwork…I hope." She smiled brightly at you and Dean, before turning her back to add another pinch of some hellish herb to her minute cauldron.

"How do we get out?" You asked the question that had been weighing on you, and your resolve nearly broke.

"Ya know, do we go back through Purgatory? Do we get tossed outta Hell on our asses? These are things we should know!" The stress that made you raise your voice at Rowena wasn't aimed at her; and she knew that.

She nodded at the question with uncertainty, but wouldn't look you in the eye. "I'll tell you the truth-"

"She doesn't know." Crowley said, interrupting his mother rudely, earning a warning glance from her. They looked like two parents trying to not scare the kids.

Dean, Cas and Sam were looking to and from each other nervously, too.

"I hope we will be able to shut the gates, using the sigil I've concocted- but I don't have everything wrinkled out, I've got _plenty_ on my plate!" Rowena confirmed, agitated at the weight on her shoulders.

"You hope? " Dean asked, worry lacing his voice.

She sighed heavily, chest heaving under her sleek black dress before turning back to face the two of you. "Yes, Winchester- that good enough for you?" She retorted nervously.

He nodded starkly with a stiff jaw, because he knew there wasn't much else he could say to that. You were all running into Purgatory and Hell blind, and that was enough on it's own.

Then, Castiel took the opportunity to speak up. "So…you said you still have spell work to do, to anchor yourself…" His blue eyes deepened for a moment as he glanced your way, then back to Rowena. "What's to stop the monsters from killing us as soon as we step into Purgatory?" He asked hesitantly.

" _We are_ , Cas." You answered for Rowena, who nodded her head proudly.

 _ **Damn straight.**_

 **Team Free Will was back in session.**

* * *

Dean took your hand in his rough sweaty palm, and held it tightly as if he were clinging on for dear life. You squeezed back, and met his gaze with a sideways smirk.

 _'This is gonna work. It has to.'_ You kept trying to reassure yourself, but your gut was telling you something terrible was about to happen.

' _Fuck. This is gonna end bloody.'_

Sam, Cas and Crowley stood on the other side of Rowena, waiting…and holding their breaths. For a moment you could almost taste the fear and tension that emanated from the six of you.

The silence was broken by Rowena chanting something you couldn't recognize (as always), closing her eyes and visibly trembling with concentration.

The flames in the cauldron erupted with fury and energy, her voice growing louder with her incoherent incantations. You closed your eyes, envisioning the calming flames in your mind, just waiting for the inevitable.

You could still feel Dean's hand in your's when suddenly, you felt your body jerk. The all too familiar sensation of having the breath knocked out of you took you by surprise. You didn't open your eyes until you felt a breeze lapping your hair to and fro, and a smell you couldn't recognize invaded your senses.

* * *

When your eyes opened, the sight before you took your breath away… Woods. Nothing but trees, brush, and that smell-. What the hell is that smell?!

"(Y/n), you okay?" Dean had his hands on your shoulders, his eyes boring into yours.

An eery fear raised goosebumps on your arms, and you tried to shake the feeling. You nodded at him, mouth agape.

"This is Purgatory." You replied with a dry mouth.

 _'This is wayyy creepier than I thought it'd be…'_ You thought, glancing around you at the dense and lifeless woods you were now in. Nothing was green, everything was dead- and the fog didn't make things any better. Limited sight distance made your stomach clench.

He nodded at you, swallowing an audible lump in his throat before glancing over his shoulder at Sam. "You good, Sammy?" He called, returning his green eyes to yours.

"Yeah. I'm good. Rowena?" Sam said, shifting his gaze lower to look at her.

You saw her standing there between Cas and Crowley, looking to be the absolutely most absurd sight you'd ever seen; a gorgeous red head in a floor-length dress and heels, standing amongst the carnage that was Purgatory.

She looked taken back, maybe by the same feeling that had dazed you too upon entering.

"Y-Yes…I'll begin." She held her hands out, and you all fell silent while you watched her chant something in a hushed tone. It was innocent enough, but the dread spreading through you told a different story.

When she stopped, her green eyes locked on yours. "Done, my dear. We may continue…if you'd like to lead, Samuel?" She gestured to Sam, who had the better idea of any of you where the back door was. Crowley could help get you there, of course, but none of you trusted him as far as you throw him.

He nodded at you and Dean. "Dean, me and Cas will take the front- keep Rowena and Crowley in the middle, and you and (Y/n) take the back." Sam ordered, not thinking twice before barking out the orders. You were surprised at how quick he was to take the wheel on this one. He usually let his older brother do that.

"Got it." You and Dean shared a nod, and circled back around Rowena and Crowley with you in tow.

* * *

Getting through Purgatory was one thing; dealing with Crowley's incessant complaining was a whole different story. "You couldn't just _zap us_ right to the door, Feathers?" Crowley snarled out, yanking furiously at yet another twig that had stuck to the hem of once-seamless suit pants.

You could see Castiel's head lull back, and could only imagine the eye roll he'd just given him. "No _Crowley,_ my powers here are limited." He answered, glancing over his shoulder in annoyance.

 _'This doesn't feel right… why haven't we run into any monsters?'_ Your heart and mind were racing.

You glanced sideways at Dean, who's jaw was tight and eyes wide, darting between the trees like he'd drank 8 shots of espresso.

"You okay?" You asked him carefully, knowing very well he'd spent time here himself…a lot of it.

He snapped to attention, and looked at you as if he wanted to tell you he wasn't…but instead, he yanked you by the arm hard, pulling you behind him before you even realized what was happening.

"Sam!" He called out simultaneously, raising his machete high before him. Everyone stopped, weapons raised, looking at Dean for an explanation.

"What's wrong, Dean?" Cas asked, moving closer to hear.

Dean's arm stretched across you soccer-mom style, but this time you didn't object. He'd been here before- more importantly, he survived this place - so yeah, he could take the lead this time.

His head was on a swivel, keeping you behind him as he observed the foggy woods surrounding you.

"We're being followed-" Dean's words were cut short by the sound of a twig snapping just beyond the fog, and you all fell silent in anticipation.

Your fingers tapped on the sheath of your machete, before you tightly clenched your fist around the handle. Dean must've sensed your apprehension, holding a flat palm up to everyone behind him, telling you to wait.

Your breath hitched as you saw a tall form emerging from the fog.

"Surely…that isn't the great Dean Winchester I caught a 'wiff of…" The thick southern accent drawled out through the fog and over the silence.

All at once, Dean's demeanor went from 'red fucking alert' to 'relieved as hell'. His shoulders went lax, lowering his weapon as he recognized the voice of the man approaching them.

"I'll be damned." Dean grinned, nodding his head like his favorite song just came on the radio.

"S'Been awhile, Benny."

* * *

Benny Lafitte.

Dean had told you about him, how they escaped this place together once, and how he saved Sam's life.

 _'Well thank fuck it's not something trying to **eat** us…'_ You sighed with relief.

Dean and Benny collided in what you could only describe as one giant 'man-hug', clapping each other on the back and laughing out loud.

Sam was fast behind Dean, both giving Benny a gleeful handshake. "You're a sight for sore eyes, man…seriously." Sam said, looking back at the three of you.

Dean ushered Benny to the rest of the group, making quick of the introductions to Rowena and Crowley - you had a job to do, after all.

"Castiel… you crazy son of a bitch." Benny smirked as his tired eyes fell on Cas, who had stayed silent.

His blue eyes broke into a smile. "It's good to see you as well, Benny… I wish it were under different circumstances." Cas replied.

Benny nodded back at Cas before catching your stare.

"This your girl, Dean-O?" He towered over you, with a big smile on his face. It definitely creeped you out, big-bad-wolf style. Not that you weren't certain he was a friend to you all, it was just… the whole vampire thing. You'd never worked with one, and hoped this would be the only time you had to.

Dean nodded slowly, and you reached out your hand to shake Benny's. "I've heard a lot about you…sound like a real hero to me." You said, slightly smiling as he took your small hand and shook it roughly.

"Well, I have my moments, I s'pose…" He chuckled, looking back at Dean.

"So word is, ya'll are goin' on a **field trip…** " Benny said, letting his words hang in the air.

Dean's face fell solemn and nodded. "Yeah, we uh-" His sentence was cut off by none other than Crowley.

-"(Y/n)'s father is a power hungry _ass._ We're going to kill him." Crowley smarted off, followed with a matter of fact grin.

Benny glanced at the King of Hell up and down, studying him for a moment. He let out a low hum, as if in thought. "Well, seems you boys are in luck… see, we felt this - _**pull** _ -"

"- **We?** " You interrupted defensively.

Benny nodded. "-Yea, we ," He pointed at Rowena, gaining a step toward her. "Lady, I gotta say, you are one big monster magnet right now."

She grinned as he cocked his head at her with question. "Good. That means my spells worked." Rowena replied, holding her chin steady and high. It was a near-comical sight, the well-dressed witch seemed only inches tall compared to Benny.

Sam's eyes widened. "Monster magnet ?" His eyes questioned Rowena. "I thought you said you could control it?"

Rowena shrugged. "I can control how many souls enter the back door, Samuel…not how many can 'smell me'." She replied, her eyes widening a bit at the realization.

"This is great. We're attracting everything that wants to eat us right now, and red riding hood can't turn it off!" Dean bellowed in frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

Your stomach sunk at the revelation, wanting very much to start running, but Benny held his hands up.

"No, it ain't like that. I d'know how to explain it, but it's just… it's calm, _peaceful_." He said.

You tilted your head at the vampire, wishing you could understand what he meant.

He cleared his throat. "Either way," Benny palmed his vest, straightening himself. "You 'asked' for help… and I brought it."

Benny shot you a quick wink, licking his lips. He slowly lifted two fingers to his mouth, releasing a quick, shrill whistle that penetrated the air.

You stayed quiet, turning about in a circle as you witnessed shadows and forms of all shapes and sizes emerging from the woods around you.

Holy. Fucking. Hell. Your heart was pounding, and you drew your machete instantaneously.

 _'That's a lot of god damn monsters…'_ You thought.

Benny and Dean shared a reassuring gaze, and you prayed to god that you really could trust him.

A soft hand on your shoulder made you jump, realizing it was only Cas. And as if he'd read your mind (and he probably did), he leaned down toward your ear.

"We can trust him, (Y/n)." His gentle but large hand squeezed your shoulder, and your eyes met for a moment.

 _'Well, those baby blues don't lie.'_ You thought to yourself, smiling at Cas weakly and returning your machete to it's sheath on your side.

Deciding to relish in it while you could, you took in the sight around you.

There were hundreds of them. Ghouls, werewolves, vampires, djinn… and many more you'd never seen before. They seemed to know to keep their distance, but through the trees and fog you could see more coming.

"We needed a monster army…" Dean sidestepped toward you and Cas and smirked at you. "Here they are, sweetheart." He nodded toward the vast sea of monsters, both men and women alike, gathering around… and you couldn't help but smile while your heart skipped a beat.

"Son of a bitch," You half-sighed, half-laughed out loud as you realized how much muscle you had behind you. "We've got our arsenal."


	26. Pray For Me

/FLASHBACK

 _"Rowena!" You called, ashamed of the fact that you were almost out of breath as you chased her down the corridor._

 _ **'I'm out of shape…shit.'** You thought._

 _Rowena turned on her heels to face you, raising her eyebrows in question._

 _"What's wrong, now?" She asked. Her posture told you she was exhausted, and that she couldn't take anymore bad news._

 _Trying to steady your pulse, you cleared your throat before going on. "Nothing's wrong, I promise." You gave her a feeble thumbs-up. "But, I need to ask a favor of you- um, **another** favor, I mean."_

 _You thought her eyes were going to roll back in her head and stay there. It was a good thing she liked you, though._

 _"What could you **possibly** need now?!" She quelled, furrowing her brows._

 _Instantly, you felt guilty._

 _Rowena has literally **died for you.** She died for the fight against Asmodeus… and here you were, asking her to do more for you._

 _"Y-You're right… you've got a lot on your plate already. It can wait." You smiled patiently. As you turned to walk away, you heard an exasperated sigh… and you were also pretty certain you heard a heel stomp on the floor._

 _ **'I can see where Crowley gets it now.'** You smirked to yourself._

 _"Waaait. I'm sorry…. what do ya need, dear?" Rowena's unenthusiastic drawl stopped you._

 _You faced her again, closing the distance quickly. You didn't have much time before you'd all be leaping into 'The Land Before Time' (aka, Purgatory)._

 _"I don't have much time to explain this…" You started, keeping your head on a swivel for either Winchester, or the Angel. "…I need you to close the back door to Hell - before Sam and Dean get through." Your heart pounded in your chest._

 _She could either tell on you, or help you. And you hoped your instincts were right for assuming she wasn't a tattle-tale._

 _Rowena tilted her head to one side. "Why on earth would you want me to? We **need** the boys to come with us, (Y/n)." _

_Running the palms of your hands down your face roughly, you groaned. "I don't want to see them get killed for me!" You exclaimed, turning about to make sure no one heard you._

 _The Witch slowly nodded her head in understanding. "I see…" Her words trailed off, soft and meek. "…okay, dear. I'll do it." She gave you a firm nod._

 _You'd already accepted defeat when you were taken back by her willingness to do the unthinkable. "You will?"_

 _Rowena rolled her eyes, and landed her gaze on her feet. "They can get out of Purgatory, they know the way… but Hell?" She shook her head. "The world needs those boys… as much as I hate to admit. If they're gone…" She ended her words there, because she knew you understood._

 _"Thank you… thank you so much, Rowena."_

 _Holding up her hand, she cautioned you to say no more. "Really, it's no thing dear," She said, glancing about her in both directions like she had a secret to tell you."There's something I need to give you before we go." She winked knowingly, motioning for you to follow her._

 _Hesitantly you did, but not without questions. "What is it…?" You asked._

 _"A weapon, dear," Rowena replied, holding her head high with purpose. "I call_ _it… **'Plan B'**."_

The sound of the hundreds upon hundreds of feet marching filled the dense woods around you. Every kind of evil thing that went bump in the night was marching; following you into Hell.

 _'We are **fucking rockstars**.'_ You mused to yourself; but the rush was short-lived. Something about this made your gut twist in ways that it hadn't in years.

Between yourself, Cas and the Winchesters, an impressive amount of your new allies had been killed by one of you. And the fact that one 4'11'' Witch was the only thing that was stopping them from ripping out your throats… well, let's just say it wasn't an enthusiastic feeling.

Dean was lagging behind you in pace with Benny a few yards back. You didn't mind- you certainly could use some time to think… and there was no doubt the two of them wanted to catch up before meeting their utter demise.

You swore at yourself inwardly for bringing Cas, Sam and Dean along. They didn't deserve this, it definitely wasn't their fight.

Crowley slowed his meandering stroll to meet your side, and you'd barely noticed until he spoke. "You look…thoughtful, (Y/n). Penny for your thoughts?" He asked.

His careless tone would've normally sent you into a fit of rage (at his expense), but you needed to hold on to that anger… for now. Instead, you pursed your lips and shook your head slightly.

"I um… It's just… **this** ," You motioned to the army behind you, and the dead woods that threatened to swallow you up alive. "Feels like I'm breaking some colossal rule, somehow. Using Purgatory, letting you all follow me to your very likely deaths-" Your breath hitched in your throat as Crowley held up a hand, keeping up with your pace.

"-You think because you're a hunter, you shouldn't be enlisting the help of souls in Purgatory…" He trailed off, tilting his head and watching you nod in affirmation.

"…kitten, if sleeping with the enemy is your biggest sin…" Crowley's nose wrinkled, trying to catch your gaze. "…well, let's just say you can probably still get through those Pearly Gates one day."

You huffed out loud. "Hmph. Whatever you say, Crowley. But let's just hope that day isn't today." You replied, keeping your eyes glued to the back of Rowena's head. For some reason, watching her shiny red hair bounce with each step she took made you feel calm.

"It goes without saying, though. You didn't let any of us come along, love… if you catch my drift." Crowley cleared his throat uncomfortably, shoving his hands in his suit pockets.

A smirk played on your lips, and you jabbed your elbow into his. "Crowley, are you saying you wanted to help us?" You sang out. The opportunities to tease the King of Hell were always short-lived… so you'd take advantage while you could.

His face scrunched up with forced disdain. "No! I'm here to make sure you imbiciles don't screw everything up." His voice raised at least three octaves when he got flustered, and you had to admit that always made for a good laugh.

"Whatever you say, Crowley." You smiled to yourself, before seeing one of Sam's monstrous hands in the air, signaling an all-stop.

Dean regained your company as Benny fell behind you. "What's goin' on?" He asked, placing a hand on your left elbow to catch your attention.

And for fuck's sake, he probably heard you swallowing the lump in your throat before you could speak.

"I think we're here."

"Where is it?" You asked Sam, whipping your head about every which way.

He exhaled slowly, his brows furrowing in the way they did every time he didn't want to do something. You could only imagine the turmoil Dean and their father went through raising him.

"It's just behind that tree…" Sam pointed to the tree with the low hanging branches. "…and through the…er…cave thing." Seeming satisfied with himself, he quickly regained his no-nonsense composure.

Sharing a pointed look with Rowena, you knew what came next. She nodded at you slowly, a lonely haze plaguing her otherwise natural beauty.

Dean's hands were on your shoulders, poising you to look at him. "Listen, (Y/n)…" He licked his lips calmly, but his eyes told you he was scared - no, scratch that - terrified . "Whatever happens down there, we've got your back. Okay?"

You paused before replying to him, wanting to enjoy the feeling of his thumbs caressing your shoulders; possibly for the last time. "Yeah, okay. It'll be fine."

 _'Damnit, don't you dare start crying…'_ You ground your teeth together as hard as you could to stop the emotion from surfacing. Because after the deal you'd made, you were fairly certain you'd damned yourself to eternity with your Father.

Dean's hands shook you gently, recapturing your attention. "Hey, I mean it. If we can't gank him, we lock him in, okay? We **stick to the plan**." His eyes seared holes through yours.

 _'Jesus… does he know?'_ You nodded incessantly, although you'd missed part of what he was saying while you were trying to keep your breakfast in your stomach.

"…No heroics, don't lose yourself when he tries to get in your head. 'Cause he **will**. Got that, sweetheart?"

"Yeah, I got it. I promise." You stood on your tiptoes and kissed him softly, taking your time; the onlookers could screw right off.

A throat cleared behind you. "(Y/n), Dean… are you ready?" Castiel kept his voice down, probably in fear of startling the natives. You could tell by his body language that he hadn't exactly thrived in Purgatory the last time he was here.

Giving him a half-hearted smile and a thumbs-up, you rubbed your hands together and readied yourself.

"Crowley, when will your black-eyed followers be here? You said they'd meet us at the back door." Your tone was domineering and purposeful as you approached him with your question.

He held his chin up, gesturing to the 'back door' to Hell. "They should be here any-" His words were drowned out by a near-deafening **_WOOSH_** … and you knew that was most likely your Demon army showing up for work.

But when you saw the door, anger and frustration overtook you.

 **One.**

 _ **One measly, god-damned Demon**. _

"What **the fuck** is this, Crowley?! You told me-" Jesus Christ almighty… you could've smote him then and there yourself, had he not begun begging (okay, almost begging) you to let him explain.

"(Y/n), the army…all the demons… they're in… **him.** " Crowley's jaw was furious with your distrust in him, as he pointed a wretched finger at the solitary demon in his sunday best.

"Explain, Crowley!" Sam took a step forward, his eyes telling the King of Hell to do what he said, and fast.

His hands shot up defensively. "Give me a bloody moment would you?!"

Exhaling through your nostrils slowly, you closed your eyes and gestured for him to elaborate.

"As I was saying," Crowley tugged on the bottom of his suit jacket anxiously as he dared to come closer to you. "The army, all those demons, (Y/n)… they're in him. Just think of it as, well - lunch." His sneer made you want to vomit.

"You want me to eat him?" You asked, pointing at the poor demon infested meat-suit, crinkling your nose.

Crowley gave you an all-too-infamous eye roll. "Nooo, (Y/n)! You're a bloody **siphon!** Remember how you drained poor feathers…?" He winked at Cas beside you, who narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Yeah, but I can't do that on demand, asshat!" You quelled, turning aside from him and running a hand through your hair.

"Never been a better time to try, padawan…you didn't think Asmodeus wouldn't notice hundreds of demons marching to the back door?!" Crowley's voice rose once again, but he made a very valid point.

"So what, I just _try_ to siphon those souls into me?"This time, it was your voice that rose a few octaves.

Crowley gave no response, and only nodded 'yes'.

 _'Fuck it.'_

Throwing up your arms in submission, you started for the demon before you.

Dean was fast though, and grabbed you by the wrist before you could reach him. "No! (Y/n), you don't know what takin' in all that juice will do to you-"

You shrugged him off gently but firmly. "Dean, it's the 'endgame', right? I'll deal with what it does later."

His eyes nearly broke you into pieces before you turned away. Sam looked at his brother like he felt sorry for him, probably because he knew for a fact that you and Dean were just alike.

Placing a hand on the man's face, you could practically taste the evil that dwelled in him. At first you wanted to stop, because you knew all too well that Anakin Skywalker turned into Darth Vader; but dammit... if there was ever a day when not giving a shit was alright, that was this day.

It was like riding a freakin' bike. At first touch, your body sensed them. All the demons that poor man (meat-suit) carried inside him wanted to cling to you… and all you had to do was say the magic word.

You perceived it as acceptance. That you were the one using them, and not the other way around.

The rush was what overwhelmed you at first, and you thought you might die right there, suffocating on demonic souls. But when they settled and you regained inward control, it felt like holding the reigns on a horse… a very dark, deadly horse.

"…(Y/n)…(Y/n)!!!"

 _'Dean.'_

Your eyes popped back open, and thank god they fell on Dean's right away.

Unaware that you were gasping for air like a fish out of water, you tried to steady yourself.

"I'm…okay." You managed to squeak out to him, even though your fingers were burying themselves in his shoulders.

"(Y/n), I don't like this." Dean's voice broke with fear at the realization of how much power was swarming inside you.

Cas touched your arm, studying your face carefully. "How do you feel, (Y/n)?" He asked gruffly.

"I'm fine, Cas. I just wanna get in there and get this over with. We've been in Purgatory for too long." You managed to steady your breathing down to a fairly rapid pace, but Cas wasn't one for bullshit.

"-tell me the truth." He said firmly.

 _'Christ he is **scary** when he's bossy…'_

Letting go of Dean, you cleared your throat. "I'm fine Cas. I feel really, really amped up right now. But other than that, I'm good."

You dared him with your gaze to ask you again how you felt, because no one would like hearing how you really felt with all those souls inside you.

It was calm…but infuriating. You felt like you wanted to murder everyone standing around you… it felt like a thirst. And you needed to quench it on someone that you didn't love or care about ; so getting into hell right that instant was crucial.

Cas backed off a couple steps, and Dean and Sam knew there wasn't anything they could say or do to change the way things were happening.

And that was the only cue you needed to start barking out your orders.

"Rowena, you and Benny take the front of the… Purgatory army." As the Witch scuttled over to Benny's side, you turned to Crowley.

"Crowley, you and Cas are with me in the front." Crowley nodded curtly, and you wheeled back to Dean and Sam.

 _'This is the part I hate.'_ You thought.

"Dean, I need you and Sam at the back to flank our monsters in case something goes wrong." You said, trying hard to cut the emotion out of it. And you hated to admit it, but all those evil sons of bitches that were making a home in you right now made it way easier than you thought it'd be.

"(Y/n), I don't think that's a great idea. If something goes wrong, we need to stay close." Sam spoke softly to you. Obviously he knew he wasn't going to get anywhere, but at least he gave it the old college try.

"Yeah, that's a no-go for me too, Princess. We stay with you, end of story." Dean retorted, gritting his teeth beneath his breath as he shuffled his heavy feet in the leaves.

You shook your head. "No Dean, that's-"

"You think we don't _know?"_ Dean interrupted, anger crossing his features briefly.

 _'Fuuuuck! Rowena, you bitch!!'_ You thought, as your eyes darted to Rowena - who's eyes told you she hadn't told them anything.

"Hey, don't look at her, look at us!" Dean took your chin between his fingers firmly. "Ya know, somethin' Sammy's been sayin' all along… 'you and I are just alike'."

You gulped audibly at the realization that Dean and Sam Winchester had outplayed you at your own game.

"I'd _never_ let you follow me into Hell to your death… so why would you?" Dean's question lingered, and your facade failed once again.

 _'I suck at lying.'_

"Yeah, we figured you'd try to pull some crap like tryin' to leave us behind…" Dean's thumb stroked your cheek. "…But no can do, sweetheart."

Your bottom lip gave way into a tremble. "Dean, you know what's gonna happen down there."

He let out a low hum, and gave a little shrug. "Well, consequences be damned."

"Okay…into the bottomless pit then." You couldn't help but smirk. These boys loved you, and Dean was obviously freaking made for you.

"The bottomless pit… here we come." Sam said, earning an 'Amen' from Cas.

Stepping through the back door to Hell made you physically ill; the level of 'creepy-crawlies' under your skin was intolerable.

No amount of hunting experience could have prepared you for this.

As soon as both your feet hit the cold, stone ground, you smelled it: Death. The place wreaked of it.

"(Y/n), we need to move. They need to get through." Castiel said quietly. He and Sam stood behind you, reminding you of the army that was ready to burst into Hell.

You nod over your shoulder at him.

Crowley stood on your right, and dammit, he looked ready. Dean was on your left; your eyes lingered on him momentarily before you willed your feet to move forward.

You weren't even sure where you going… but you knew Crowley did. After all, it was his throne he was fighting for.

 _'One step…two steps…still alive…'_ Mentally, counting made you feel better.

"You good?" Dean asked gruffly, never taking his eyes off the path ahead. Too risky.

"Never been better." You replied, forming a tight-lipped smile that wouldn't have fooled a soul.

You'd been listening to 'Hell's Back Door' being breached over and over, and it was growing more distant with each step.Courage began replacing the fear inside you, to the tune of countless feet trailing behind. And as they were uproaring with snarls and jeers, that courage was turning into something else.

As you marched forward, you could feel it. The demons in you were surfacing, riling up every fiber of anger you'd held in… or was that just **you?**

You were more prepared for this moment than you thought.

"You're ready, love." Crowley uttered beneath a raspy breath, grinning.

Smirking, you shot him an uncharacteristic wink. "I know."

Your hands went cold, clenched tightly with white knuckles… you weren't sure how long they'd been that way. And slowly but surely, as you rounded the corridor and saw the cells lining either wall, it consumed you.

This vendetta of yours - a grudge against your father, who wanted to ruin you. Being called a walking abomination your whole life; never knowing your mom, and having everything you held close threatened.

But you were more than that. If it took hundreds of demons raging inside you to let that out - set the dangerous part of yourself free - well, then that's what it took.

The knowledge that you were lethal felt like acid… burning, slicing, and potent. It was heating you from the inside out; and you'd be a liar if you said you didn't like it.

Bloody hands gripped at the jail cell bars as you passed; reaching, trying to cling to whatever they could.

"We're close." Crowley spoke up over the rowdy inmates, not faltering in his step beside you.

Sharing a short-lived glance with Dean, you couldn't help but think he saw something new in you.

You couldn't dwell on it though, as an intersection in the path approached.

You could all hear them, the demons coming for you from either side of those hallways.

"Get ready. Do what you need to do to get past 'em, then move on with me. Let the fangs handle the rest." You barked out, hearing Sam, Cas and Dean draw their weapons.

" **Dinner time!** " You bellowed out behind you. Your words were followed by a battle cry unlike any you'd heard before, simply because they weren't human.

In seconds flat, the four of you were in between several hundred scary-as-shit creatures running for the demons that awaited you ahead.

Picking up the pace, moving through them you noted that you never saw a single demon. You could hear them screaming though, most likely having their throats ripped out…or worse. A sigh of anticipation escaped your lips as you made it further down the corridor, constantly making sure Sam and Cas were still behind you.Taking out a hoard of black-eyed dickheads barely made a hiccup in your 'reinforcements'… they were trailing close again, with Benny leading.

"How much further, Crowley?" Sam called, annoyed at his lack of information.

Crowley kept his eyes glued ahead. "Almost there, Moose."

And Crowley, probably for the third time in his life, spoke the truth.

You could see a break in the corridor ahead, opening to a grander room, and a minute source of light illuminating it.

"He's in there." You spoke quietly, unsure if you really meant for the others to hear you or not.

You could feel Asmodeus's presence crawling over your skin, seething up your spine.

"We've got your back, (Y/n), we all do." Dean said, swapping his demon blade to his other hand.

Stealing this moment, the last one before you stepped through the doorway to your most certain deaths, you smiled at Dean. "I know."

A chill ran through you again, standing in the center of the cavelike room. You figured it had to be 10-15 yards in circumference, with two exits. Noting your escape routes had become a habit formed by near death experiences.

The only source of light was a sad, low hanging chandelier dawning candles that threatened to extinguish at any second.

 _'That smell is going to kill me before my Father does…'_ You thought, crinkling your nose at the scent of rotting flesh and despair.

To your right, there was a platform with two wide-set steps made of stone. On the platform sat a cringe-worthy high back chair that looked like it was made of metal - or maybe it was forged in tears and blood - who fucking _cared?_ All you knew was, it gave you the creeps… and Hitchcock himself would be jealous.

And if _that_ was the Throne , damn straight you didn't fucking want that. This place had 'you're never getting out alive' written all over it.

"Pumpkin, you found me."


	27. Believe With Me

"Pumpkin, you found me."

Everyone jumped at the intrusive voice that broke the silence. You squinted your eyes as they darted around the dreary room, struggling to see in the shadows.

Instinctively, Dean's hand found your arm as you both turned your heads, searching for where your father's voice had come from.

"Oh, please. I'm right here." Asmodeus stepped forward into the light, it's soft glow making him appear angelic.

Disappointment flooded you at the sight of your father's face. You knew you were going to see him, lock him up, or possibly kill him this very day; but facing the music was always a different story…

 _'You got this.'_ You told yourself.

Tearing away from Dean's grasp, you stepped forward to address him. "You creep out of the walls just like a cockroach." You jeered, allowing yourself to enjoy this for a second.

Your father's face didn't falter at the jab, so you spoke again before he did. "Allow me to cut the bullshit for you… you can surrender to me, or - "

"-Or _what?"_ Asmodeus cut you off, curling his lip with disgust. "You'll close the Gates of Hell, with me in it?" He taunted, flashing his ungodly white teeth at you.

Silence overtook you, and you stopped cold in your approach. _'Mother. Fucker.'_

When none of you dared to speak, an obnoxious chuckle escaped him. "You look genuinely _surprised_ , dear. You really didn't think I knew?"

He studied each one of you thoroughly, and you glanced sideways at Dean. When you caught his eyes, his held the same defeat.

Your father paced back and forth like an agitated predator, who was just waiting for someone to try to run for it.

"Before you start killing each other, no one had to tell me that was the plan," He said. "It was pretty easy to assume your next move… I mean, you're **hunters** after all." His disdain at his own words was off-putting, and you were frantically searching your mind for words of your own.

"Let's say… you succeed. You close the Gates of Hell. Do you realize the **utter havoc** that would wreak on the world?" He asked, tugging on his tie to straighten it, like this was another day at the office for him.

His attention shifted to Cas behind you. "Feathers, I'd have thought you would have been more insightful on this topic," He stated, watching as Cas shouldered his way between yourself and Crowley. He looked upon your father with scrutiny, refusing to take the bait.

"- Only I can call him that." Crowley interrupted, but Asmodeus ignored him. How dare someone steal his line.

"Enlighten us, then." Cas broadened his shoulders with his reply, keeping unwavering focus on Asmodeus.

"Oh, just imagine it! " Asmodeus wrung his hands with false excitement. "All those souls that don't belong in Heaven… they'll have nowhere to go," He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. "And what will the **Reapers think?** They'll have no place to take those poor unfortunates' to…"

You heart raced as your breathing became more rapid. _'Oh my god. He's right.'_

"… They'll kill you all themselves just out of spite. And if _they_ don't, hunter's everywhere will be extinct before you can blink. Every soul that belongs here in Hell - they'll be vengeful spirits, poltergeists, revenants - the list goes on."

The five of you mentally chewed on his words for what seemed like hours.

"Let's say you're right…" Sam said, unimpressed. "… who's to say we still won't do it?" He challenged him, and shit... that was ballsy.

A grim line formed on Asmodeus's lips. "Because I'm resigning from Hell."

You laughed out loud, mostly from surprise. "Oh? And why's that?"

"Hell isn't what I hoped it'd be upon my - _our_ \- return," He carefully examined his fingernails as he spoke. You lifted your chin, waiting for him to finish.

Surely, it couldn't be this easy. _'Nothing is **ever** this simple. Not for us.'_

"Truth is, Hell's gone soft… thanks to their patheticexcuse for a King," He spat his words out like venom at Crowley, who balled his hands into fists, but didn't reply. "But there are **conditions** preluding my resignation…"

Your father's devilish tongue lingered on the word 'conditions', making you bite your tongue.

 _'Here it comes.'_

"…Firstly, I want you to answer a question." Your fathers eyes wandered to your's again, piercing you. "Tell me how you're feeling with all those demons inside you."

Your stomach sank… nothing like getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar _. 'So he knows you snacked on some demons… but **it changes nothing.** ' _You told yourself.

He smirked, pleased with how he'd visibly stirred you.

"I know you're all juiced up, (Y/n). So tell me…" Cracking his knuckles ceremoniously, he raised one brow at you. "Do you feel **awake?** Is it **hatred** … Or is it anger?" He asked, puffing his chest out with what looked like pride; and it terrified you.

Grinding your teeth until your jaw hurt, you managed a response. "Fuck you." You snarled, holding on tight to the proverbial reigns.

But at your insult, his resolve broke. " **Tell me!** " He screamed out, his furious words echoing off the walls, making everyone but yourself flinch. For some reason, you expected the bastard to have a melt down. Call it instinct.

Shooting him a daring glance, you drew your angel blade from your side. After all, it wasn't an ordinary Angel Blade. **It was 'Plan B'.**

Turning the metal in your hands, you took your time inspecting it as if a very pissed off Prince of Hell weren't standing in front of you right now.

His jaw quivered, the purple vein in his forehead protruding with all it's fury. His breathing staggered, eyes darting back and forth at you all like a criminal surrounded by the law.

Castiel's voice came from inches above your ear. "You don't have to answer him, (Y/n)." You glanced at him, feeling his breath on your face.

Giving your father your full attention, you gained a step closer.

"No," You kept your eyes glued to his. "I want him to know," You could feel Dean's eyes boring into the back of your skull.

"I feel angry, but I've felt that way my entire life…" You inhaled a shaky breath as you saw your father give way to a grin of approval. This was what he wanted… but you couldn't put the cork back in it now.

"…And yeah, there's **hatred.** You told me I was a weapon, and that's _exactly_ what I feel like right now. I want nothing more than to gut you right here…" You paused, realizing you were nose to nose with him now.

"…but if I started, I'm not sure I could stop." Searching his eyes for a split second, you had to admit- you saw yourself there. As you did, you could've sworn you saw a glint of sadness on his face, but that wasn't enough to hinder you.

"So now, you tell me … All this anger inside me, all the hate… what do **you** think I should do with it?" Staring up at him, your question hung in dead air like the plague.

You didn't flinch when Asmodeus dared to brush a strand of hair from your face, all while letting a low hum escape his throat."That brings me to my second condition," He mused, returning both his hands to his crisp suit pockets. " **You** take my place on the throne."

 _'What. The. Fuck.'_ You knew he could see the bewilderment etched across your features.

"(Y/n)'s not makin' that deal, asshat. I suggest a rewrite." Dean's low voice came as a warning from behind you, and he wouldn't restrain himself much longer.

An amused smile fell on his lips. "Not in the cards, boy - I can't. Hell won't follow Crowley again… not after he ran to his hunter friends for help." Asmodeus's unapologetic eyes fell on Crowley, who kept his resolve.

"So, let me get this straight," Angel blade still in hand, you stood your ground. "You want me to take over in Hell… and you'll be doing what, exactly? Retiring?" You narrowed your eyes at him.

Stroking his trimmed blonde facial hair, he shrugged. "Maybe. Thought about traveling a bit." He smirked back down at you.

Scoffing at him, you rolled your eyes harshly. "You're a loose fucking canon. No way I'm letting you walk," You sighed as if you were annoyed, and in fact, you were just tired of listening to his bullshit.

"So let's renegotiate that term." You added, licking your lips as you studied your father's reaction.

"Go on…?" He drawled impatiently.

"I take over the Throne, and **make you my bitch.** " Those were the last words he heard before you took your shot.

With a flick of your wrist, he was tossed up against the wall with a resounding grunt. He struggled instantly, and you held you hand palm up to keep him there, focusing will all your might. He started laughing when you heard Dean yelling at you; telling you to 'do it now'.

It was taking everything you had just to keep him on the wall… he was a strong son of a bitch. Taking Dean's words as your cue, you didn't wait for him to speak another word.

Nose to nose again, you plunged the Angel blade deep in his chest with a clean crunch. Your father's eyes were blank as they stared at you; and as he gasped a short breath, he formed an open-mouthed smile.

"You have my eyes." He whispered, only fueling your fire.

Giving him no leeway, your jaw clenched tight as you twisted the blade. The vibrations of muscle and cartilage tearing and popping reverberated through it's handle.

You stepped back, leaving the blade buried to the hilt in his chest cavity. Raising your hand, you waved it once and he fell to the hard floor.

Asmodeus shook his head, shaking with laughter at the weapon in his chest. "You think that an **Angel blade** can kill **me?!!** " He snickered, sputtering blood on the concrete at your feet.

"No, we didn't." Crowley spoke up, taking a brave (for him) step forward. "That's not an Angel Blade, you idiot…" He smirked knowingly, relishing in the bemused expression on Asmodeus's face. "That's the Lance of Michael. It's been melted down, and 'juiced up' with a little spell work." He winked, just as you heard the 'click-clack' of Rowena's infamous heels.

"Compliments of the chef." She mewled, winking as she came to rest beside her son.

Your father's hands gripped the blade's handle, pulling with all his strength.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you…" Sam mocked him from behind. "…It won't come out. It's there for good."

Asmodeus's evil eyes found Rowena's again, all fury intact, but no bite. " **What have you done?!!** " He cried out, unable to remove the blade from his chest.

"Like 'luscious locks' said, you fool…!" Rowena taunted, as you could practically hear Sam's eyes rolling from behind you. "…It won't budge. You're set for an eternity of the Lance of Michael coursing through you." She crossed her arms triumphantly.

"And there's not a god damned thing you can do about it." Dean piped up. He'd stayed quiet long enough, and was soaring forward with a magnificent uppercut to his left jaw, sending your father reeling to the ground in pain.

"You _bitch!!"_ Asmodeus lashed his arm out toward you, but to no avail. He was powerless, defeated.

You sighed, turning to Crowley. "Wanna show me where your suites are?"

You did it.

Asmodeus was locked up. It was a fairly simple cage compared to Lucifer's, but you were confident in Rowena's spell work.

Dean had gone with you and Crowley to assure your father was tightly tucked away. He hadn't put up a physical fight as you would've guessed, but you were glad for that. Decisions were still left to be made.

The five of you had gathered back in that god-forsaken room that smelled nothing short of disease.

"We can't close the Gates," You stated, all of a sudden interested in your brown laced-up combat boots. "You're all on the same page, right?"

Grim, disappointed nods from everyone told you it was unanimous. No shutting up Hell.

"Crowley… was he telling the truth? About the demons, and Hell… they won't follow you?" Dean asked carefully.

 _'The elephant in the room…'_

"I'm not their King anymore." Crowley stated matter-of-factly. His short fingers were toying with the hems of his suit jacket sleeves; just what he did when he was nervous.

"What do you mean? We locked up my father, he's _gone!"_ You retorted, shifting your stance defensively.

He sighed slowly, not wanting to speak the words that hung on his tongue. "As I said… Hell doesn't have a King anymore. But it has a Queen." He paused and awaited your response. When a dissatisfied gaze was all you gave him, he hesitated.

You laughed out loud in misery. Just what in the great world of fucks was happening?!

"I know what you're thinking-" He started again, but you cut him off.

"- **No!** You can't tell me we did all this work… so he could get exactly what he wanted?!" You fumed, horrified. "Why could Ramiel hand you the silver spoon, but **I can't?** "

Your eyes watered with tears of frustration and agony. When would this be over? You looked to Dean next to you, who for once, didn't have much comfort to offer.

Crowley's flat expression reminded you of a doctor giving their patient terrible news.

"Your father, he took Hell's loyalty. **You** defeated him, not me. He told you the truth. These demons, _minions_ may they be… they won't follow me anymore," Crowley licked his lips nervously, not daring to make eye contact with you just yet. "But they'll follow you."

Your mouth went dry, staring at Crowley's shiny black shoes right along with him. You felt Dean release a shaky breath against you, and he shook his head.

"Crowley, there's gotta be another way. Someone **else.** " Dean bargained angrily. You wanted nothing more than to bury yourself in his chest and stay there… where it was safe.

"There's not. A successor is a victor or offspring… and you're both, love. Besides..." Crowley replied sadly, but attempted to lighten the mood anyways."… who better than you, hybrid - _hunter_ … than to lead Hell? Keep tabs on things? This might work to your advantage."

Cas nodded, unable to look up at you and Dean. "He's right. When has Hell ever been ruled by a hunter? Someone on our side?"

Sam interjected quickly. "No! Are we serious? We're just gonna let her stay here, **in Hell?!** " Sam looked anxiously around the circle, and when none of you replied, he stared at his older brother. "Dean, help me out here!"

Dean's face was unreadable to you. That scared you, making you wonder what he was thinking. Was he going to leave you if you had to stay?

"Sam, it's not our call to make. It's her's." He replied. His voice was full of raw emotion now, but it was steady.

Sam swallowed hard, looking to Crowley. "And if she just leaves? What'll happen then?" He asked, nostrils flaring right along with his temperament.

Crowley shrugged, running his tongue slyly over his teeth, like he was wondering where to begin. "Let's see here… bored, idle demons with no mummy or daddy looking after them…?" He looked up to the ceiling in sarcasm. "I'll let your imagination do the work, Moose." His words weren't bitter, but more like he wished he didn't have to say them at all.

 _'Don't make this harder on them…'_ You thought. _'You know damn well there is **nothing** they can do.'_

Holding up a hand, you shushed Crowley. "Guys, stop," Taking a deep breath, you prepared yourself for what needed to be said. "We all know there is nothing any of us can do… right now, anyways," You paused, gazing at Dean when he took your hand. He knew it too.

"Trust me, I won't stop looking for someone who can take my place - but in the meantime, why not? Let's turn the tides a little bit… I can do some good in Hell." You felt the sting of your words as you spoke them, and they came out much more optimistic than you really felt about all this.

"We **are** going to find someone else - trust us." Cas said, earnestly staring at you, expecting you to falter. But not this time.

You nodded. "I know, it'll take some time. That's why Crowley's gonna be my right hand." You slapped him on the shoulder, earning a sigh of resentment from him.

"(Y/n), sweetheart, we can just leave, see how things go without you down here-" Dean started, but you cut him off.

"- and let innocent people die from possession while we figure out the rest? That's a no-brainer, Dean. You know that." You hadn't meant to scold him, but throwing a hail mary with Hell (literally) wasn't worth the risk. He silently agreed, pulling you into him as tightly as he could. A long silence passed before Castiel sighed quietly behind you; a gentle reminder that not all of them should still be in Hell. And he was right.

You nodded at Crowley, who stood patiently in wait. It was going to be fun ordering him around.

"Well, then…" Crowley's voice rumbled suggestively, tossing a wink at you. "… Long live the Queen."

"Dean, you can't keep blaming yourself," Sam dared to say, watching his older brother down the rest of their best bourbon.

The bottle met the table hard, Dean's hand gripping it tightly. "Sammy, I just left the love of my life in Hell. Tell my why I _shouldn't_ blame myself?" He looked up from the bottle and narrowed his eyes, seeing the words escaping Sam.

"It's only been a few days, Dean… It's not like she has to stay down there all the time, I'm sure we'll hear something soon -" Sam's words were interrupted by Castiel noisily plodding down the spiral staircase into the war room to join them.

When his gaze fell on the scene before him, he knew there hadn't been any good news. "Nothing from (Y/n)?" He asked gravely.

Dean shook his head, closing his eyes to gather himself.

"We can summon Crowley, see what's going on." Sam suggested, gaining a nod of approval from Cas. The two of them were exhausted from walking on eggshells around Dean for 3 days.

"No need for that." Dean nearly toppled over in his chair at the sound of your voice. When he saw you were there in the doorway, he couldn't get up fast enough.

 _'Huh… looks like I'm missed.'_ You thought, smiling inwardly.

"(Y/n)!" Cas exclaimed, as Dean silently (and roughly) pulled you into his arms, with no promise of letting go anytime soon.

His scent made you tear up instantly, digging your fingertips into his back for good measure. It was amazing what only a few days apart could do to you two.

Reluctantly, Dean pulled away. Resting his hands on either side of your face, he inspected you for any signs of injury. "How are you? Any crazy side effects from all the, uh… the demons you siphoned? " His question was urgent, but you could see he didn't want to ask that particular one.

He pulled away, letting you speak. "I'm okay, I promise! No side effects… but things are interesting. More than I can really say right now… " You paused, not being able to resist a good bear hug from Sam, and a warm hello from Cas.

"Crowley gave me his 'top-side' palace, so to speak…" You continued. "…so the good news is, starting tomorrow I'll have cell service again!" You said excitedly, waving your phone in the air for effect.

Dean was beaming at you, happy to see you doing so well. A thousand different scenarios had played out in his head since you and Crowley 'wooshed' them all out of Hell; you came in the nick of time.

"How long do you get to stay here?" Dean asked the inevitable question.

You smiled sadly, looking at your phone as you turned it over in your hands. _'Always right to the punch, Dean.'_ You thought.

"I can't stay… I'm sorry," You replied, watching the light in Dean's eyes extinguish completely. "I actually came to get something."

"What's that?" Sam asked, puppy dog eyes and all.

You didn't answer him, though. Smirking, you took Dean's hand in yours; and the two of you were gone.

You'd been practicing your disappearing act for the past 36 hours. Crowley just about beat it into your brain that if you couldn't do it, you might as well not be the Queen. And god dammit, when he told you that… let's just say it motivated you.

Your feet landed on the stone floor roughly, and the first thing you heard was Dean shouting out every expletive he knew, and some he didn't.

"What the- what the hell?!" He yelled, taking in his surroundings cautiously. "Did you do that?!"

You couldn't help another smile. You deserved it.

"I did, Winchester," You replied, taking a long step towards the man of your dreams. "This is my place here… out of hell. I think I need to hire a decorator." You frowned, gazing at the dreary cobwebs coating the room.

"Wow, uh… it's nice, (Y/n)," Dean said, looking everywhere but your face because he knew he was lying.

You laughed quietly, taking his hand in yours. "C'mon. I wanna show you something."

Minutes later, you both were in your dungeon, tearing each other's clothes off like rabid animals.

Dean's hands roaming over your skin felt like a drug; it'd been too long. "Did you bring me here to seduce me?" Dean asked between needy, panting kisses.

"Duh, Winchester." You felt him grinning against your lips, tugging on the elastic of your panties. Hooking his thumbs under them, he expertly guided them down your legs.

You kicked them urgently off to the side, as his hands travelled back up quickly to your free breasts, groaning into another kiss as he massaged each one.

Relaxing into his touch, his right hand tangled itself in your hair, exposing your neck to his greedy mouth. Fuck, a single touch from him in the right place would've sent you over the edge that second. But knowing Dean, he'd make you beg for it.

"Dean, I'll cuff you to this wall if you don't fucking touch me…" You warned, palming his hard length through his boxers like a horny schoolgirl.

Hearing you, his assault on your neck ceased immediately; and his green eyes were daring yours.

 _'Hell yes… there he is.'_

Dean shoved you, harder than you'd expect… and jesus, it was _beautiful_.

Before you could react, your entire back side met the cold stone wall behind you. His warm torso was flush against you again, his right leg separating both of yours. You reached for his face to kiss him again, but your touch was denied by two strong arms pinning yours against the wall with the rest of you.

A growl of frustration escaped you, feeling every cell of your body igniting, waiting.

"Don't worry, sweetheart, I got you." Dean said, his voice raspy and full of lust, bearing a sideways smile. You closed your eyes for a moment to steady your heart beat; when a familiar 'clink' of metal sounded, followed by two frigid metal bracelets clamping around your wrists.

Gasping, your eyes popped open, wide at the realization. "You took my idea!" You tried to sound angry, but dammit… it was hard when you were this turned on.

Dean winked at you, edging his thigh upward to graze your exposed sex. "It was a damn good idea, princess."

At some point he'd tossed his boxers into the pile of no-longer-needed clothing on the floor. The two of you stayed just where you were for a moment, his mouth attacking yours; your tongues tasting each other like they'd been apart for years.

His fingertips caressed their way down your side, leaving a wake of want behind them. As he pulled away from your kiss, his eyes locked on yours; his hand ghosted between your legs, testing you. Playing his game, you let your head relax into the wall. He drug a finger over your dripping wet entrance, parting it slightly in an agonizingly slow fashion.

In a daring move, you opened your eyes to find him still watching you like a sexual experiment. A second finger met the first, and he repeated the same motion, stirring your inner goddess like a heart attack.

You whimpered quietly, not meaning to; and he hushed you as he inserted both fingers past your folds slowly. A moanful sigh came from his lips as he felt you, and saw how your body craved for his touch.

"Dean…" You croaked out, feeling yourself climb just at the 'come hither' motion of his two fingers. You watched the muscles in his shoulders and arms tense, go rigid, like he was restraining himself with you again. You loved it… adored how it was always his instinct to curb himself. But, you loved it even more when you could convince him to just **let the fuck go.**

"Christ Dean, do what you **really** want to!" You begged, wondering if he was trying to make you say that all along.

Instantly, his thumb met your clitoris, pressing hard. A constricted yelp parted your mouth as your back arched off the wall, into his touch further. He pushed you back against it firmly, fucking you with his fingers still.

"Is this what you want, sweetheart?" He questioned, forcing his fingers deeper and harder into your soaking pussy. His mouth was on your jawline again, and you nodded a small 'yes' in reply; you were too on edge to speak.

You heard him say 'good' as he withdrew his fingers all at once, making you want to burst into tears. But it was only a second before his rough hands met your ass cheeks, lifting. And even though your legs didn't want to work, they instinctively hooked around his bare waist.

Dean's nose was grazing yours, holding you there and sharing the same oxygen… it was intoxicating; like a limbo. It was broken by the sweet pressure of Dean thrusting into you swiftly, his hard length filling and stretching you. Groans and curses were falling out of Dean's mouth; right along with the beads of sweat down his back as he pumped in and out of you without remorse.

Your mouth had formed an 'O' the moment you felt him bottom out inside you… and you were pretty sure it stayed like that. Your arms struggled on the restraints around your wrists out of instinct and lust, wanting to touch him back badly.

This feeling of having no control again… god it was _everything_.

Feeling his fingertips dig into your skin like an animal gone wild, hitting that sweet spot every time… the coil inside was about to let loose at any moment.

The sounds of skin slapping against skin, moans, and curses echoed off the walls and ceiling. Dean's hips never stopped; and you had to wonder what kind of god you'd snagged yourself. You dug your heels into his lower back, urging him on further; and he took the bait.

Like a good bottle of whiskey he'd saved, he buried himself inside you full tilt; rendering you breathless.

"That's it, princess…" Dean's breath fanned out over your ear, making you dig your heels into his back again. "Come for me."

Finally you caught a breath and filled your lungs, crying his name out as you were about to meet your release. "Deaaan!" His thrusts slowed though, and you opened your eyes in distress.

"What's my name?" He asked you, and you could see his jawbone clenching and releasing.

' _Ohhhh fuck… please make me say it.'_

You stuck to your silence, teasing him back just the same; he had to be close too.

Shoving his entire length inside you roughly, he stilled himself, practically suffocating you against the wall. "What's my name, princess?" He asked again, this time with a familiar strain in his voice. If anyone could bring out the inner psycho in you, it was Dean fucking Winchester.

"Daddy." Fuck yes he was.

An unearthly growl rumbled deep in his chest, as he withdrew himself and plunged inside you again, over and over. It was almost too hard; almost too much… but he knew how to get you there.

It was only moments before you were spasming around his hard cock, feeling his warmth filling you further, fueling you into your second orgasm… and god, you've gotta love when your toes go numb.

He rocked himself in and out of you for a minute, before you realized your arms were freed and draped loosely around his neck.

It was the middle of the night, and you decided that the bed in your room was actually incredible. Sure, it looked old (because it was), but a new pair of sheets and Dean Winchester made it just freakin' right.

The two of you were lazing in your nakedness, still high from your much-needed rendezvous. Your head was on his chest, the sheets covering you both sloppily. His fingers were lacing in out of yours in thought.

"It's not always gonna be this way, you know." You said, trying to reassure him.

He forced a sad smile when you looked up at him, moving off his chest to lean on your elbow. "I know, sweetheart. It just… doesn't feel right."

Nodding, you understood just what he meant. None of this felt right. It was a sinking feeling, and you felt like you were going to drown in it. What had you really accomplished?

"Did we do the right thing?" You asked him, not wanting to look him in the eye. You were afraid of what answer they might hold.

"What do you mean?" He sat up, leaning on both elbows to see you. His brows were furrowed in that worried way of his.

"You know, did we actually do anything that helped? The **world** , I mean…" You had to search inwardly to put your feelings into words. "… or did we just save ourselves this time?"

Your question hit him like a weight. Licking his lips in thought, he hesitated before responding.

"Yeah, I think we did (Y/n). We put a world-class douche behind bars, and we both know he had **no good plans** for the world. None." Dean's tone was certain, and even he seemed comforted by his words; as if he needed to say them out loud to find the truth in them.

"And ya know, princess…" He brushed a strand of your (y/h/c) hair away from your eyes. "Even if we didn't do anything 'monumental', it's okay to save ourselves every now and then." He winked at you, making you smile in appreciation. How had you gotten this far in life without him?

Dean cleared his throat, nudging your shoulder. "Plus, we put a kick-ass Queen at the helm. That's a win all by itself… you're gonna save a lot of people, (y/n)."

You tilted your head to the side in thought, slightly agreeing. "Well, until we find someone else… or convince the majority that Crowley's better than me." You laughed a bit, reminiscing on that being Crowley's number one plan: 'Convince Hell they want me back'. And to be honest, it wasn't too bad of an idea… being yourself - a hunter. They'd come to find you're a boring, 'goody-two-shoes' in no time, you hoped.

"Ehh, I think he's gonna like the leave of absence." Dean mused, taking your hand in his again. "There's another thing, (y/n)… I asked you a question before we left." His face fell all too solemn for your liking, and you wracked your brain to recall just what he was referring to.

 _'OH… **that.** ' _Your heart fluttered at the recollection of Dean proposing - or maybe you were having palpitations from the absolutely solid fucking he gave you earlier.

Dean's eyes roamed over your face anxiously. "If you don't wanna talk about it, it's fine-"

"Yes." You answered quickly, not wanting to waste anymore time than had already gone.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise, his lips parting. "Really? Like, _yes_ , yes?"

You beamed, stretching up to kiss him on the lips softly. "Yeah. As long as you're sure… I haven't exactly been good luck, Dean."

"(Y/n), we're hunters. We've never had good luck," He said, pulling you back down against him. "So I'm gonna take that answer while it's on the table… consequences be damned." He smirked sideways at you, those infamous words of his pulling at your heart.

A smile tugged at your lips, and you paused before you replied to him.

 _'This is what we fight for.'_

A deep, easy breath filled your lungs, as if peace had finally found you. "Consequences be damned, Winchester."

So call it what you will.

Your story wasn't quite what you'd imagined,

but it had it's own lessons to be learned.

You harnessed an evil inside you,

one you thought would swallow you whole.

You fought for your freedom, and the

freedom of the people you held closest to you...

…and you learned that you could get through anything -

yes, **anything.**

You took responsibility for who you were, even if it meant losing a piece of yourself.

But most importantly, after all the hoops you jumped through just to guarantee your next breath, it turned out to be worth it.

 **

Your life was worth fighting for.

**

It was bat-shit crazy and altogether baffling, but it was yours.

And it wasn't too bad of a story to tell, was it?


End file.
